Name: PinsandKneazles (Signed) · Date: 26 Jan 2022 11:51 AM · For: Chapter 1

Oh hai! Thought I'd catch you in tag :)

 

I guessed from the title and 'sink your ship' premise that this was going to be a story to make me wail. It's brilliantly executed from the start; the room being too white, as hospital rooms often are, cold and clinical and just ... detached. The fact that Lily and James have accompanied Albus on what must be the most difficult visit he's ever undertaken, is testament to their sibling relationship. I loved the little bit of humoour to lift the situation, where Lily took James to one side and told him to stay quiet, knowing that he's likely to say something absurd or to put his foot in it completely - I'm guessing a bit tactless if he's like his uncle Ron. But for all his inability to say the right thing at the right time, James has still shown up for his brother.

 

That's an awful way for Scorpius to go, and the sort of incident that might have been preventable with the appropriate safety measures in place, such as helmets and bludgers that weren't made out of iron (FFS - iron??). I'm surprised that Scorpius's death from two bludgers is one-of-a-kind; I would have expected many more fatal accidents to occur over the quidditch pitch. And that Albus saw it happen? I bet it's an image he can't get out of his head right now, and one that will probably haunt him forever.

 

Twenty is FAR too young to go :(((( and Albus's speech, said too late, is just heartbreaking, but he needs to talk, to let it out and to tell Scorpius how he feels. Even though Scorpius is way past hearing him now. 

 

The moment at the end, where James asks Albus if he's still going to quidditch, and Lily scolds him, but Albus doesn't mind being asked that - that was so sweet but also such a shattering reminder that life does move on for everyone else. I don't think Albus will ever get over Scorpius, but in time, he'll kearn to cope without him. And maybe find love with someone else.

 

This was SO lovely but :sob: 

 

Meera <3

Name: Raspberry_cordelia (Signed) · Date: 22 Mar 2021 07:49 PM · For: Chapter 1

Hi Ineke!! This story sounds so interesting but I know it's gonna be sad because the challenge is literally called Sink Your Ship! I'm going to do the live review thing again because it worked last time, so let's get right into it:

 

The room was too white is also something I find myself thinking - with multiple meanings.  But yes, I can definitely emphasize with walking into a completely different surround and having to adjust like "wut"

 

Aww I appreciate that Lily is trying to help James understand.  She's a good sister.  BUT OH NO HARRY AND GINNY don't know yet?  Ooh that doesn't seem like a recipe for success...

 

James being too much like Ron is certainly not a complaint in my eyes, but then again, I'm biased.  But he is definitely being annoying in this fic

 

WHAT

 

TWO BLUDGERS

 

NOOOO

 

WHAT NO

 

I JUST THOUGHT THEY WERE GONNA BREAK UP

 

Ughh this is so sadd but I'm just glad that Lily has some sort of tact to make up for whatever James has got going on

 

AAAAAA NOOOOOOOO

 

The ship really was sunk :(

 

But I do appreciate James' sense of normalcy in the end - at least it makes Albus smile

 

AND THEN YOU HAD TO END IT LIKE THAT

 

WHyyyyyy

 

This was so good but so saddd

<3 Raspberry for guerrilla gifting!

Name: VaguelyCreativeName (Signed) · Date: 17 Jul 2019 07:58 PM · For: Chapter 1

Hiya, I’m stopping by for the House Cup Finale!

 

This was so sad! I knew it was going to be of course, given the challenge theme, but that didn’t make it any easier. The first paragraph already is heart-breaking, and you’ve done a brilliant job of showing us Albus’s thoughts – I feel like because we don’t yet know for certain what’s going on, we – like Albus – are given time to adjust to the thought of Scorpius in hospital.

 

God, that’s such a horrific injury, and the fact that Albus had to watch it so terrible, too, especially since it’s such a sudden thing to happen, with no warning at all, when he was only 20. I also understand that Albus needs some time alone with Scorpius, even if he’s grateful his siblings came along to support him. And they hadn’t even gotten together yet, that makes it so much worse because it just fills you with thoughts of what could have been… I first thought they’d already been a couple, since you said Albus had loved him for years, but the fact that he never got to tell him how he felt… That just hits really hard.

 

This was so deeply sad, but I love the way you wrote it; all of Albus’s desperation and hopelessness just came across so well!

            Love,

            Julia

Name: shadowkat678 (Signed) · Date: 30 Apr 2019 07:43 AM · For: Chapter 1

Hey, here for the first swap!

 

AlbusxScorp is, honestly, the only thing I liked about Cursed Child. (Shuuu...I'm still pretending it's offical. That staircase scene was peek romance trope!) So, you know, ouch? 

 

I wonder how hard he must have been hit to keep from being caught in time, and I hope someone lost their job for not having people more at the ready! I'm sure Draco will sue their asses off. 

 

I like how you wrote the sibling dynamic here. 

 

Double ouch. He never even got to tell Scorpius his feelings! D:

 

I also enjoyed how you left this off on a lighter note than entered. Well, off to the next story! 

 

Name: starbuck (Signed) · Date: 31 Aug 2018 03:38 PM · For: Chapter 1

as a proud member of 'no doom&gloom army' i had to pick this because sink your ship doesn't sound doom&gloom at all :P

 

the first few sentences describing the family dynamic of al, lily and james really brought the characters to life for me. i love how you managed to do that by just describing one scene - lily being the tactful one, james having no clue (and being like ron!) but both of them trying to be there for albus made me feel for all three of them, but especially for al because he knew all that and he knew his siblings were there for him, no matter what happened.

 

but poor al! having to watch scorpius as everything went down must've been painful, i can't even imagine. i think that your description was good because al is still in shock (at least that's how i read it) and he describes how it happened with a certain remove, like it isn't him, the man who loved scorpius talking, but some other narrator, observing from afar. it's something i saw in real life when my grandmother died - my grandfather seemed like he wasn't him, he talked about how she died and was in shock for some time...before he finally broke down and cried a few days after the funeral :/

 

reading that last part when albus says goodbye and realising he never got to actually tell scorpius how he felt was absolutely heartbreaking. and his anger, his frustration at scorpius dying in a quidditch game was...understandable. i do hope it gets better for him!

 

i loved the tiny bits of humour you wrote in this sad sad story - it managed to end on a lighter note with hope that things will get better, that albus will find someone and be happy again. i especially loved the part about scorpius not wanting all to not go to quidditch games.

 

even if this was doomy&gloomy, i liked reading it!

 

kris

Name: Felpata_Lupin (Signed) · Date: 31 Mar 2018 02:44 PM · For: Chapter 1

Hey, Ineke, dear! Here I am with your review for our swap! <3

 

I really had no idea what to pick... I saw this and thought, yes, Chiara, go break your heart a little, why not?

 

But I wasn't expecting this much!!! *cries forever* Staring down at the pale, blond guy, who's eyes were forever closed. Why would you do this to me, Ineke? No, really, why? *cries more*

 

Dying for a Quidditch accident, is that really a thing? Don't Bludgers hit players all the time? I mean, it's strange that it doesn't happen more often, if you think about it in a realistic way, still...

 

Even if this was mostly heartbreaking, I appreciated that there was a little bit of humour in it, like the mention of Ginny always telling James that he resembles Uncle Ron too much... :P I love the siblings' relationship, btw, I love that James and Lily were there for Albus, and I love that they tried their best to give him all the support, even if James didn't really know how to act. It's sweet.

 

I love you, dammit, and I never got to tell you all of this. Wait, does that mean that Albus never got the chance to declare his love? Isn't Scorpius' death painful enough already? I loved everything Al said, btw, I could really feel his pain and anger and frustration, it was so well done!

 

'Will you still be going to Quidditch?' James, you are so bad! But I love you anyway!

 

I'm glad Albus thinks that he will be alright, even if it is still a long road. And I know he truly will be alright. Time heals. Not completely, but it does.

 

Loved this so much! Thank you for the swap!

 

Snowball hug,

 

Chiara

Name: melian (Signed) · Date: 20 Jun 2017 07:09 PM · For: Chapter 1

*transferred from HPFF*

 

Oh dear. I did pick a tear jerker, didn't I?

 

That was so so so sad, Ineke. Deathbed scenes are always the hardest to write and the hardest to read, I find. You did a good job with this one as I am now sobbing uncontrollably over my keyboard. Darn you.

 

Have to admit, though, that's a good way to die. Innovative, I mean. And he probably wouldn't have felt much because the first Bludger would have knocked him out cold. So he wouldn't even have felt the second one, wouldn't have known he was going to die. In that way, because it was quick, he didn't suffer.

 

Of course, that doesn't mean Albus won't. Being the one left behind is always so tragic, so heart breaking. And you conveyed that so well here. Having Lily with him to calm him, seeing that still figure alone in the room, not breathing, not doing anything he should have been doing. And the first professional Quidditch fatality? How tragic! I mean, I know someone has to be the first, and that someone is probably someone very special to someone else, but to hear that story from Al's perspective? Why are you doing this to me, Ineke? Why? Why? WHY???

 

Okay, enough of that. I think you did a really good job with this one, because it can't have been an easy one to write. Wonderful work. Now excuse me while I find a box of tissues.

 

cheersMel