Name: ShazaLupin (Signed) · Date: 15 Feb 2021 05:28 PM · For: suppose for a moment that the heart has two heads

Hi there!

 

I thought that was going to start out as quite a sweet fic but no, that last line of the first scene killed that idea. That was so sad, and rather haunting, seeing Remus going through the different stages of grief. You can feel how much he misses him, and how hard it is for him to go on. 

 

I think you did an amazing job of writing this, and showing how hard it is to go on when someone you love leaves you, and how pointless it can feel to carry on living. I loved the ending, he's just decided to try and imagine he's still there. That's gotta be easier than making himself remember he's dead. 

 

A really great fic, so sad! 

 

Shaza

Written for the winter in fairyland review event.

 

Name: VaguelyCreativeName (Signed) · Date: 14 Jul 2020 07:25 AM · For: suppose for a moment that the heart has two heads

Hi Kayla, I’m here for the HC finale!

 

Urgh, my chest felt so tight reading that first section! There’s all this tension surrounding Remus’ visions of enjoying happiness and domesticity with Sirius after the war ends because of course we know what’s actually going to happen – still, I was not expecting it to happen so soon, and then you hit us with that last line which is just so perfectly bleak, and desolate, and just.. urgh!

 

And Remus’s grief and exhaustion are just so palpable, and really I just want to quote that entire centre section back at you because all of the phrases just hit so hard – the way Remus frames his visit to the grocery store stands out especially, because that is a victory, even if it’s a small one, but the fact that Remus twists that victory around into something to be ashamed of just shows his desperation so well!

 

I’m really pleased with the way Remus responds to Dumbledore though – even if it’s not actually going to achieve anything, I can’t get enough of Dumbledore being told to stuff it when he was the one who kept Sirius locked up, against his better judgement!

 

“He stares at the blackened, burned-out hole where Sirius used to be” God, I love this sentence! It took me a bit to catch on that Remus is looking at the Black Family tapestry because it’s just such a perfect way to describe the emptiness left behind in Remus’ life from where Sirius used to be!

 

This was so beautifully painful to read, thank you for writing!

Love, Julia

Name: grumpy cat (Signed) · Date: 29 May 2020 07:32 PM · For: suppose for a moment that the heart has two heads

'The war will end, and they'll buy a cottage together' - how nice of you to crush my poor lil heart in the very first part of the story :I damnation, remus imagining how things will be perfect after the war ends, them waking up together and being together again, remus making breakfast and then.....................then you murder my soul with that last sentence 'On Friday morning, Remus wakes up and Sirius is dead.' it's jsut so powerful and heartbreaking and also in a morbid way beautiful in the writing style and simplicity and i think that's what really gives that awful punch to the heart.

 

the second part is so devastating. i can't even...remus has had such a difficult life, being a werewolf, then finally making life long, true friends, finding love with sirius, but bit by awful bit, all that is taken away from him and when sirius dies there is no one in the world who could share in his grief fully. no one to talk to, no one to grieve with. not even a funeral to celebrate sirius' life, no grave to visit...nothing. and you described that feeling so so well. it's not just sadness, it's complete devastation that just hurts so fucking much that there's nothing to do except stare blankly at the rows in a shop, or confuse someone else with sirius because it's just pure longing for him to be there, to be alive, to hear his voice again...you wrote it perfectly

 

i really loved this, in all it's hurt and anger and just...pure love that remus feels. because through it all, that's the feeling i felt the most from him, however strange it might seem.

 

kris

 

(rvg, team gold)

 

 

Name: TreacleTart (Signed) · Date: 01 May 2020 05:33 AM · For: suppose for a moment that the heart has two heads

 

Hey there!

 

I'm here to review your story for my Make TreacleTart Cry Challenge! I'll be breaking this review down into the categories that I'll be using to judge it.

 

Plot: Ummm...you already know I'm here for the sad Wolfstars, so you know I'm going to love everything about this.

 

Characterization: You also know that I think you are masterful at writing Remus. This story is no exception. You capture his anguish and grief so well. It's painful watching him break, especially during that final transformation.

 

Sadness: This definitely is full of the feels. The part about Remus crying over the bottle of milk broken on the sidewalk was so sad. I wanted to give my poor baby a hug. And again, him coming out of the basement was heartbreaking too.

 

Grammar/Spelling: This was edited very well. Everything was smooth and polished.

 

Really great job on this!

 

~Kaitlin

 

Name: sunshine_locks (Signed) · Date: 28 Apr 2020 05:26 AM · For: suppose for a moment that the heart has two heads

hi kayla! i’m here for our review swap!

 

so this story starts off really fluffy and then we are immediately hit with angst like a goddamn train. luv that for myself, i don’t know why i chose the story that was specifically written to make someone cry. i might be masochistic.

 

okay, well, it’s clear that this story isn’t going to make me smile anytime soon so i may as well relish in the angst. your description of remus’ grief is very… hard to read. especially since it’s not just the grief that’s lingering, it’s the hurt and the anger and the guilt and it all sort of comes together to make this whole mess that you don’t even know where to begin. i was hit particularly hard by fact that remus felt horrible after mistaking someone else for sirius, because, once again, there’s that guilt and panic where you’re wondering whether you’re already starting to forget this person to mistake someone else for them, and suddenly you start doubting every single one of your memories.

 

i also feel very gutted when remus tries to make himself feel victorious over going out for a grocery run, and it’s just… lord. but i get it. it’s hella hard to feel victorious over things you once were able to do with ease, and the realization honestly just sucks ass.

 

“sirius is dead, and remus will be drinking his tea black for the rest of the week.” something about this line is just so very deeply sad. it’s frank and it’s real, and maybe that’s what makes it so depressing.

 

reading remus’ reaction to dumbledore’s platitudes was a delight to read for real. like that man had it coming for ages, he couldn’t possibly expect everyone to stay happy and quiet while he continued to do and get away with all the shady shit he pulled. like, you’re not going to get any argument from me dude, keep ripping away at him. i also just like it when seemingly very calm characters just lose their shit on the people that have wronged them repeatedly. that is top tier stuff and i will never not enjoy it. (also, on a slightly morbid note, dumbledore does die later on, so, would remus be happy knowing that? who knows.)

 

well, remus forgetting about the full moon is just the icing on this very bitter cake, huh? i almost wish remus had just torn apart the home just to see some release of anger, but in the end this house wasn’t his to destroy in the first place. although i’m sure sirius would so let remus destroy everything too, if he hates that much.

 

and the last line really just kinds of stabs you in the heart and twists the knife. it’s romantic, but remus’ longing for sirius to come back just breaks my heart because he’s not going to come back.

 

this was a great fic to read. thanks for writing! xx

Name: down-in-flames (Signed) · Date: 26 Apr 2020 02:47 PM · For: suppose for a moment that the heart has two heads

ha, so remember literally YESTERDAY when i tweeted that i gain power when people say how dare you in reviews and your response was ‘mood’??

 

well, how dare you.

 

literally, the start of this fic is the world’s biggest sucker punch. like,  look, i knew what i was getting into, i knew based on the fact that this was for kaitlin’s challenge that this was going to hurt me, but the whole ‘thursday morning’ where everything’s sweet and fluffy and a little optimistic about the future followed by ‘friday morning, remus wakes up and sirius is dead’ is just………. OW??? i wasn’t ready???

 

second war wolfstar is always so fucking sad. i don’t know why i ever expect it not to hurt lol.

 

but the experience of not being able to convince yourself that it’s real and just waiting for the person in question to just walk through the door totally fine is so real - and it’s almost worse then, because you’ve got this weird sliver of hope that your logical side *knows* you shouldn’t have, but it’s there nonetheless. and then the moment where remus thinks he sees sirius on the grocery run, and all those hopeful feelings build up again tenfold and he’s picturing this whole scene only to come back to reality and realise it’s not sirius is just….. also ow.

 

and then dumbledore!! jesus christ if anyone deserves to be put in his place right now it’s dumbledore. the condolences are just SO hollow, because dumbledore’s actions are literally such a significant part of WHY sirius is dead to begin with, that it’s just… it’s too little too late at this point, and i’m pretty sure HE knows that too. remus’ outburst at him is totally justified, really. this could’ve been avoided, but dumbledore has always had a way of seeing people like pawns, and sirius is no exception.

 

i love the moment where remus contemplates just letting the wolf run loose throughout the house - i could definitely see sirius appreciating that honestly, all those relics of his bloodline (especially the walburga portrait, good fucking riddance) completely destroyed. 

 

the ending of this is just so melancholy - there’s no big dramatic closure, just remus continuing to grieve and continuing to have to convince himself that sirius isn’t just around the corner, because even after all of this, it’s still so raw that it doesn’t feel real. jfc.

 

the poem fits so well with this - i love that you used it as the last line too, it’s just such a perfect note to end on. and once again, ouch.

 

-taylor

 

(also, this is for rvg, i got too distracted at the beginning of this review to remember to mention that)

Name: Crimson Quill (Signed) · Date: 08 Apr 2020 02:23 PM · For: suppose for a moment that the heart has two heads

 

Hey Kayla,

 

I'm here for RvG: POGs edition. I thought I would check this out because you've been mentioning it on twitter. I wasn't really familar with Richard Siken's work at all so I love that you've included it as part of your inspiration in the notes. I feel like I understand the story more for seeing it. It's very beautiful passage, I think you've done a wonderful job at getting the essence of that into this story.

 

I think this is such an interesting time period to work with. I think there is a lot of wolfstar in the marauders era. I think it's cool to explore the relationship between them after he comes back. It feels like the feelings would be complicated because what they've been through. I like that we see this happy side of them. They're just doing cute normal things like making Sirius breakfast and reading the paper. I think because you've made such a nice picture of their life together that the last line of the first section has a real emotional punch to it. 

 

I think you do such a good job at capturing Remus' grief. You've just framed it in such a realistic way especially because of the way that Sirius' died. Remus has such a rough time coming to terms with it because there is no body. I think not being able to get passed that in your mind is rough, there is no 'evidence' yet you know it's true. 

 

This story has such beautiful ways of saying thing. I think you've really evoked some really tender feelings in this piece. I really loved how you've described Remus when he thought he saw Sirius. The metaphors about things feeling good again. I thought that was particular good at creating some wonderful imagery.  It was so powerful when his world felt apart again when it wasn't Sirius. I think it was just perfectly played. you've really got that essence of grief perfectly in this piece. The bit about Remus crying over literal spilt milk was just so good at evoking the emotion of the situation.

 

I think that's why fic is so good. It is kinda healing because in canon we don't ever see Dumbledore get a told off properly. He is never really accountable for things that have happened even when you could argue that he has really a hand in. I thought you wrote Remus' anger and passion perfectly. I love the way that you build the emotion and tension in this scene. This piece has such a poignant ending for Remus. I really enjoyed this piece because it's so well written, the emotions are so clear, imagery is so strong and it reads better than canon. 

 

Abbi xx

 

Name: Chemical_Pixie (Signed) · Date: 05 Apr 2020 06:40 PM · For: suppose for a moment that the heart has two heads

Kayla! Here fore RvG POGs (and for your lovely writing of course).

 

I think I've seen tweets about the premise of this new wolfstar series (unless I'm confusing them other other fabulous tweets of yours), but I really dig this take on Wolfstar and writing in general. I enjoy seeing people's interpretations of other writers' words, and this story is no exception! Siken seems to be a writer I should probably read more of because his stanza 21 is beautiful. I can't wait to see more of your interpretation of his writing!

 

That opening! It works well on so many levels. First, it reveals a lot of information to the reader: taking place during Order of the Phoenix, since they'er in Grimmauld Place, and that adheres to canon in general, referencing the general gist of Sirius's situation since escaping from Azkaban in the Potter books. Then you go right ahead and slap us in the face with that last line about Sirius being dead. KAYLA!! This is especially heartbreaking because, while you set up exactly where we are and when, you also lull us into a false sense of security. This is just any Thursday, a moment of warmth and contentment within the general grim landscape, that there's some time before whatever comes next, because it's just a typical Thursday morning with two people who are in love. And then BAM. Right in the face. 

 

That is fantastic writing!!

 

And then that next scene, another Thursday, but this time, it seems to be impossible that it IS Thursday. And the essentials are gone and you have to go out and get more food--proof that life is moving on with your loved one. You capture that aspect of grief in such a heartbreaking and compelling way. I know that I've experienced the "Well, I went out and got food but was it really a victory" as well as thinking that I saw my loved one, but--no. There's something off about their voice, their appearance, it's not them. It's absolutely devastating, and Remus is able to channel his despair over everything over spilled milk, because that's the one thing that's so minor, he can make a big deal about it and then, within a reasonable amount of time, get over it. Remus won't be getting over Sirius any time soon, if ever (definitely not ever because getting over a loved one's death is something you can never get over), and so, let the tears flow and the tea be black.

 

And that confrontation with Dumbledore, YES. I appreciate seeing characters getting fed up with Dumbledore because he's such a puppeteer and master manipulator who just so happens to be on the side against Voldemort... I wonder if you're the type of person who believes in this fan theory about Dumbledore and Sirius? That Dumbledore overall had lower regard towards Sirius because Sirius didn't play by Dumbledore's rules very well? Sirius wanted to tell Harry about the prophecy, wanted to do more than merely provide Grimmauld Place as Headquarters, wanted Harry to live with him... these are very against Dumbledore's grand plan, and Sirius challenged it--and so... because Dumbledore had a hard time controlling Sirius, he didn't put forth the effort to protect him as much as he should have. Is this the case here? Is this what Remus believes?

 

And that last scene with the before and after transformation, about the bread for toast and the record with that absoultely gorgeous last line at the end, that was so well written and ties everything together: the gravity of the situation, Remus's grief and the related feelings, the daunting thoughts of what comes next, the permanence of death, and yet--hope, a slight and somber hope captured in Siken's last line: Leave the lights on. Keep talking. I'll keep walking toward the sound of your voice.