Name: Renacera (Signed) · Date: 31 Jan 2021 12:01 AM · For: Chapter 1

Hello there!

I'm on a kick of reading stories about Slytherins, and this one definitely caught my eye. It's really, really good!

I love the way that you characterize Andromeda throughout this. You definitely were able to show the struggles she's going through, especially as she truly wishes things were different, but she understands that they aren't and likely won't ever be.

Being the middle child is tough (speaking from experience). In a lot of ways, you end up bridging the gaps between the older and younger siblings. Andromeda clearly feels she has to protect Narcissa, and she's disappointed when she understands Bellatrix's influence is too strong.

Andromeda slowly learning to assert herself and be strong was a really lovely element of this story. In particular, I liked that she didn't give up her friendship with Ted just because her family had begun threatening her physically and mentally about him.

Her fiancé in France was so sweet! I was so happy that he was someone kind who would help her escape, rather than forcing her into a marriage neither of them wanted. The moment when he gives her money and wishes her the best was really lovely. I hope he lived a long, happy life! *fingers crossed*

This was a really sweet story, and you did Andromeda so much justice. Well done!

Best,
Emily


*for the Fairyland review event*

Author's Response:

Emily, I am so sorry for responding to this so late!

 

I think this is the only fic I've ever written from a Slytherin's point of view. It's not something I do a lot of, and this was a bit difficult for me to write, but it did give me a better understanding of Andromeda. I am not a middle child, but I am glad this got the middle child seal of approval.

 

Her fiancé did live a very long, happy life! He got married to a woman he really loved, and they had a bunch of kids. He has a super happy life, don't worry! He gets to retire to a little house in the French countryside after a very long career as... I don't know, a lawyer? Wizards have lawyers, right?

 

It is very late, and I don't know what to say other than thank you for reviewing! I hope you have a lovely day!

 

-A

Name: VaguelyCreativeName (Signed) · Date: 01 Feb 2020 03:14 PM · For: Chapter 1

Hey there, I’m here for Round Two of the CMDC review event!

 

I absolutely loved this chapter! Andromeda has always been some of my favourite characters, and you’ve portrayed her so well!

 

I think your pacing in this story is excellent, you cover such a long time period in relatively little space, but because you include small details at the right moments, like the remarks about Bellatrix’s marks or Andromeda asking about telephones in class, it never feels rushed! I also loved that you chose to write in second person, it feels very intimate and I think was a perfect choice to convey Andromeda’s anxieties – at times, her fears about Bellatrix sneaking in can seem a bit paranoid (although justified!), and reading about that in second person makes it hit all the harder, and seem that much more disconcerting!

 

Andromeda’s experiences of growing up with Bellatrix as an older sister are so chilling, and it’s heart-breaking to see her suffering from it, being constantly compared unfavourably to Bellatrix and then blamed for all of Bellatrix’s misdemeanours as well, when it seems like all Andy ever wanted to do was to fly under the radar. Her conflicting feelings about everyone in her family are also so compelling – she knows they’ve treated her unfairly, and she does despise them for it, but at the same time, they’re still her family and at times they have been kind to her – like many victims of abuse, Andromeda finds it difficult to marry those two concepts and to properly get away from them. I think her willingness to even forgive Bellatrix in a way, that she misses her at times and still considers her her sister, are particularly chilling in that way.

 

I also love her relationship with Ted! Even when she can’t properly acknowledge that her feelings are anything but platonic for fear of her sister finding out, there’s still this understanding between them that they are going to end up together, and that they’ll run away together once school finishes which I thought was really sweet! I also loved that, even with the rather grim subject of the story, and with all the horrible things that happen to Andromeda, she, and the tone of the story, remain hopeful, and that you can always rely on the kindness of strangers!

 

Love, Julia

Author's Response:

Thank you for reviewing, Julia!

 

I'm gonna be honest: I wrote this in one big burble because it was a bit difficult to write. I had never actually written something in second person before this, and I don't know if I'll write much more in it. It's a bit personal, like you said, and it feels weird.

 

I tried not to have Ted in this too much because I wanted it be more about the three sisters than Andromeda/Ted. I've never written anyone in this as a major character before, and it was really interesting to do. I might write more with them, and I'm thinking about maybe doing some more with these three. It's a very interesting relationship between these three sisters, and I kind of want to write more about it.

 

Also, I started having thoughts about Andromeda and Ted while writing this, but I have a lot on my writing plate for now, so that will have to wait.

 

Thank you for reviewing! I hope you have a nice day!

 

-A

Name: justawillowtree (Signed) · Date: 15 Dec 2019 12:26 AM · For: Chapter 1

HI. Here for your final prize review! All of your stories have been just wonderfully imaginative and light and magical, but this one is dark—in the best of ways. I think there’s something about the Black sisters’ dynamic that draws people in (I’m no different, haha), and I just love your interpretation. I don’t believe I’ve ever read a story where Bellatrix abuses Andromeda in this way, but you really make it come to life, for me. For some reason, I’ve always remembered Andromeda as being the oldest, haha, but I have no idea if that’s right—in any case, Bellatrix being the eldest here is so fitting for this kind of story.

 

There’s an unfortunate truth, I think, to the fact that parents often have favorites amongst their children, though usually the usual, upstanding parent does an admirable job hiding this fact. Evidently, however, the Black parents delight in spoiling their eldest daughter, and just deluding themselves into thinking that Bellatrix is “perfect” and can do absolutely no wrong. Ugh the way you set up Bellatrix’s little crimes as a child is so good; children with siblings often do lie and blame one another for certain things, but I can completely imagine Bellatrix having a more psychopathic childhood. (Do you headcanon her as being psychopathic? I’ve read articles about psychopathic children who try strangling their siblings since they don’t possess any empathy, and this reminded me of that.)

 

Narcissa is such an interesting character. She’s certainly of a weaker mind than her two older sisters, and has a weaker backbone, as well. It really makes me wonder how she would have turned out if Andromeda had been able to spend more time with her, with Bellatrix out of the picture. But I love how you hint at the fact that Narcissa is a sweeter-natured child, because even when she’s become twisted and cold at the end of the Harry Potter books, she still finds a tiny sliver of humanity within herself to help Harry.

 

Bellatrix being ironically amazing at Defense Against the Dark Arts is my new favorite headcanon omg.

 

The romance between Ted and Andromeda is always a tantalizing one, because of the forbidden aspect of it. I love how you talked about how the two of them began as friends, and how she definitely wasn’t remotely bothered by his Muggleborn background because of her interest in learning more about the non-magical culture. (Her clever little reason for taking Muggle Studies made me feel smug for like a second—until Bellatrix made things awful for her again.)

 

I kinda love Louis?? I didn’t expect this marriage subplot to arise, but it entirely makes sense that her mom would force this upon her! He’s so understanding, and genuinely seems like an incredible person. I’m so glad that he supported her fight to freedom.

 

The whole princess and dragon theme throughout made this story feel like a fairytale, which I’ve noticed is a wonderful common theme between each of your stories! It’s such a lovely style to be reading. One thing that I would’ve loved more of is an elaboration upon a specific (perhaps harrowing) moment in Andromeda’s life—I think events slide by so quickly sometimes that it’s easy to lose track of her development and growth. But that’s honestly it, other than that I really really loved this! <3

 

Eva

Author's Response:

Thank you so much for reviewing, Eva! The notification for this review made my day. 

 

I'm gonna be real: this is probably the darkest thing I've ever written. Some of the dark things I've written aren't entirely dark, like with spots of humor and cute scenes. This is, probably, the only dark thing I will be writing unless I'm in another challenge where the prompt is something similar to dark stuff like this. I'm not a fan of writing dark stuff, but this was literally written in an hour before work and then I never looked at it again because of how dark it was. This is one of my more personal stories, I guess. Not that I have a sister like that (or an arranged marriage), but in how relationships between sisters when there are no brothers are. I think that the Black sisters would have been very different if they had a brother, either older or younger, but I think Bellatrix would be even worse. Even more so if it were a younger brother.

 

I always thought that it went Bellatrix, Andromeda, Narcissa, but I'm not sure. Still, I thought it was fitting to have Bellatrix be the oldest, to have been the only child, even if it was only for two years. It definitely went to her head, and she resents her sisters forever because they took away their parents' attention. Narcissa, of course, was the youngest, the one who had never had to live with Bellatrix alone. I don't headcanon Bellatrix with anything because I don't have enough knowledge of psychology to actually know enough to properly show anything, but I do think that she has a bit less empathy than either of her sisters. Narcissa, in my mind, would have been a perfectly fine person if she had been raised by anyone other than a member of the Black family. Bellatrix? I don't think she would have been as vocal about certain things, but I do think that she would have been jealous of any siblings that followed, even if she had been raised by the kindest person in existence.

 

So, I have a reason why Bellatrix (miss dueler extraordinaire and Death Eater) would be so good at Defense Against the Dark Arts: they're learning about the Dark Arts. She would, of course, have to learn how to do things by herself, but she would be learning about theory and such in class. After all, Voldemort wanted to be Defense professor. He had a lot of knowledge about the Dark Arts, so it would make sense for Death Eaters to, if they were good at dueling and such, be at least passable in Defense. In canon, we have Snape and Voldy, and Bellatrix is described as a talented dueler. Now, is this an opportunity for me to think about if the Dueling Club were a thing historically speaking in Hogwarts so I can use that to worldbuild? Possibly. But also, it's interesting that you pointed that out because I was hoping that someone would notice the irony in that. Of the Black sisters, I always thought that Andromeda would get the best marks. Narcissa is smart, but she doesn't apply herself as much. Andromeda really is the ambitious one of the three, Bellatrix is the more arrogant and, I guess, cunning (in a sense, though Andromeda is the smartest of the siblings) one, and Narcissa is the loyal one.

 

Since the prompt was dysfunctional relationships, I wanted to keep the focus on the Black sisters. I kept Ted and Andromeda's romance so not really there for two reasons: I didn't want this to turn into something Ted/Andromeda because then I would have had to write something else for the Knockout Challenge and Andromeda wouldn't want to have those sorts of memory in the front of her mind (for lack of a better term) because she wouldn't wnat Bellatrix to try to steal them from her and use them to hurt Ted.

 

I am glad you love Louis. He may be a useful tool to help us in the future. This could totally fit into canon, but, let's be real, I just have an extended universe. I see it as canon-compliant, but it's definitely something that has happened in the past in the Iris series.

 

So, I looked back through my writing, and I didn't realize the unconscious fairytale feel of everything. Thank you for pointing it out. I was worried that I didn't have a distinctive style, and I am glad I have one that you like so much. This is (other than the legit fairy tale I wrote) the one where I actually tried to make it a fairy tale. Fun fact: the bit where she runs away was inspired by the carriage scene in Ouran High School Host Club. Andromeda, in this, is sort of like Rapunzel, though she is not the sheltered, naive sister of the bunch. That, honestly, is Narcissa. She does change as she grows up (I headcanon that her marriage to Lucius was arranged, though she did have a crush on him), but Andromeda shelters her during their childhood.

 

Yeah, looking back, I should have done a few more specific moments. I was concerned about the word limit for the challenge, and I just felt really uncomfortable writing this one. It turned out well, but it is definitely not something I would read (oh, the irony). I prefer fluff, and this is the first fic I've written that has no cute moments whatsoever. It feels weird because I always like a little fluff with my angst to balance it out, and this was just a bit too dark for my liking.

 

Thanks again for reviewing, and thank you for hosting such a lovely challenge!!

 

-A

Name: cambangst (Signed) · Date: 29 Oct 2019 04:29 PM · For: Chapter 1

Hi, there! Tagging you from the Review Tag thread on HPFT!

 

This story is really clever. You did a great job of building a plot arc from Andromeda's early years until she runs away from home. The events build nicely on one another, creating a very relatable progression from a little girl who suffers at the whim of her cruel older sister to a young woman who has the skills and the desire to take back control of her own life. All the while, she remains vulnerable. It all makes perfect sense and there's no unnatural fairytale here. She is simply Andromeda.

 

It's easy to imagine Bellatrix's unrelenting cruelty. You make a very good point that she was, in a way, born to be an only child. Later in life, she craves the Dark Lord's undivided attention the same way that she craves her parents' undivided attention here. She despises sharing the spotlight. The little detail about her setting the nursery on fire after Narcissa was born was just perfect. I'm sure that having another sibling brought on an unbridled fit of jealousy.

 

Another little detail that I liked was the Black house elves, trying to make Andromeda's life a little less awful. Of course they know better than to cross Bellatrix or even to openly help Andromeda when she's being punished, but they're doing what they feel able to do. It's a really sweet touch.

 

I thought that you kept Ted Tonks in a very believable role in the story. You didn't overdo it and make him some sort of Prince Charming. At times, he isn't even the central focus of Andromeda's plot to escape her family. Andromeda knows very well that Bellatrix would kill Ted without a hint of remorse, and she's very careful to conceal their friendship-turned-romance. Setting Andromeda free is a team effort, involving several people and a lot of help. Not to mention a bit of her own skill and ingenuity. The complexity really adds to the story.

 

Let's see, what else? It probably seems kind of odd, but I like that you made Bellatrix a subpar student. So many authors write her as this malevolent genius who excels at everything except morality and compassion. The flaws that you wrote into her character make for a good contrast to her malevolence and skill as one of the Dark Lord's minions. I also sort of like the way you cast Rodolphus, even though he's really creepy. Although I'm sure that the power dynamic in that marriage quickly evolves to favor Bellatrix, it's interesting to imagine a time when she was a young bride being preyed upon, after a fashion, but a lecherous older man. It adds some contrast to her character.

 

This was a really good story and a really entertaining read. I'm very glad that you jumped into the Review Tag thread and that I got a chance to read it. Thanks!

 

-Dan

 

Author's Response:

Thank you for reviewing, Dan!

 

I was really worried with this story. It kind of all came out in a burble one day right before work, and I felt very weird writing it. I've never really written Andromeda or Bellatrix or Narcissa before, but I had a lot of thoughts about their sisterly relationship. I wanted this to focus more on their relationship than Andromeda/Ted, partially because I don't really have a firm characterization for Ted. I was concerned that Andromeda would come off as too passive, but she does, occasionally, feel like the bird in the gilded cage, waiting for someone to open the cage so she can fly away to freedom.

 

I did think about making Bellatrix the perfect daughter with grades and beauty and ambition, but it didn't feel quite right. In my stuff, I would honestly say that she got the worst marks of the three sisters, followed by Narcissa, who probably didn't put much effort into it. I've always seen Andromeda as the most determined of the three, and, if I were to ever put her into another House for something, it would be Hufflepuff. I always saw Bellatrix as striving to be the best (or at least, perceived that way), and I thought that she wouldn't be that great of a student, especially in more theoretical subjects. I actually almost made her Head Girl in this story, but I didn't think Dumbledore would make her Head Girl. It just didn't seem natural. I wanted to show that she wasn't always the great Death Eater Bellatrix Lestrange.

 

And I agree about Rodolphous and Bellatrix. The power dynamic quickly changes, but Bellatrix is married off at a young age to someone much older, probably for her dowry. Cygnus and Druella, especially in this, want the best for their daughters. In their minds, that would be being married to the richest, most prestigious man that they could find. Which is why they arrange for Bellatrix and Narcissa to marry who they do.

 

Thank you, again, for reviewing! I hope you have a nice day!

 

-A