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Hey, Kat! It may have been so long ago that you don't even remember, but you requested a review on this ages ago and I am finally here to review it. I'm so sorry it's taken me like a gazillion years.
So, this chapter explains why Godric wasn't mentioned at the end of the previous chapter. It's interesting that he almost decided to leave without telling them - it seems a very uncharacteristic move for him. But, I guess he didn't actually make that uncharacteristic move, and decided to stick around, even if it meant sleeping in a stable. A weird decision but one that ultimately saved his life, most likely. How is he going to find the Slytherins so he can attempt to help them?? Ahhh!!!
I gotta say though, whatever happens, I have a really bad feeling that only Salazar will survive it, and his parents will not...
Haha, I really enjoy Godric talking to the horse and getting an "incredulous" look from him like they're having a conversation.
It's really interesting how much Salazar dislikes, or is at the very least disappointed by Godric, considering they are later said to be such good friends, before the infamous falling out. I'm really curious to see what you do with this relationship (because I would definitely not call them friends at this point) and how you get them to the point where they are actually friends, and whether this ill feeling he has towards Godric ends up being deep seated and was there all along underneath their friendship the whole time until it rears its head again many years in their future. I guess I'll have to wait and find out :P
So this little girl at the end - I wonder if she is the person who saw Salazar speaking with the snake earlier, the movement in the shrubs that he couldn't identify.
And the dream Godric keeps happening - is this something that he has seen in the past, or is he worried about the future? I don't recall it being mentioned what happened to Godric's own family, either - is the hanging he keeps dreaming about his family? (lol I know you won't answer this question in a review response, but it's just something I'm wondering haha) Ominous that he should be dreaming about it right when the Slytherins disappear and their house is burned down.
So, I think the flow of the chapter is good. I like the switch in POVs and think you use it to your advantage here, where not everyone who's narrating has all the information.
I don't recall seeing any errors per se, but there was this sentence that read sort of oddly to me:
branches reaching like the claws of some great monstrosity -- In context, I think "monster" would work better than "monstrosity" here, which I feel like I usually hear in reference to like, a large unsightly building, or a war crime, or something.
Overall, I think you did a great job with this chapter and what a cliff hanger to leave it on! I hope you've got more up your sleeve because yikes what a place to leave it hanging. Great writing!
Hi there! <3
I’m so sorry for the lateness of this review! But I’m here, and after reading this first chapter, I’m reallyy intrigued about the proposition that Godric had for Ingvar. There are so many unique elements to this story already that I’ve never read regarding the Hogwarts Founders, which is already making this so so interesting for me! For instance, the fact that Godric Gryffindor and Salazar Slytherin were not a part of the same generation is really interesting. I’ve always imagined them to be about the same age, but to have one who has more years upon the other, who has known the other since birth almost, is just such a different dynamic.
It’s so sweet how much Salazar loves his mother. He seems to be a bit of a sensitive, grumpy kind of child, but adorable nonetheless, and the way he clearly loves it when his mother is happy and smiling is SO CUTE. I never thought I would be saying that about Salazar Slytherin, but here I am. Also, I find it incredibly endearing how he reads in trees. That’s just such a Slytherin thing to do—to avoid society, you find a location that is too uncomfortable for other people to consider. It’s amazing.
I love how Godric has a close friendship of sorts with Salazar’s father, Ingvar. I’m so curious about what he might be proposing? From what he’s hinted at, it seems like this something has been coming for a while, and that perhaps it’s been Godric’s personal project for some time. My first thought was that this is it, this is when Godric tries to begin building the famed school for magic, but also I’m not sure—there’s a lot of hesitation surrounding his question right now, which makes me wonder.
This is such a wonderful start to the story! You have beautiful descriptions in here, and your writing is elegant and clean and lovely to read. Thank you for requesting from me!! <3
Eva
I admit I rushed through the first chapter and didn't really read it when I reviewed it.
I actually read this one. I love the dynamic between Godric and Ingvar. They're like father and son. I can't wait to read more of that.
I love how protective Salazar is of Amara. Typical overprotective dad. I'm glad that snake wasn't venomous. Though, she might be in a lot of pain.
What's the difference between venemous and poisonous?
I wonder who kidnapped Salazar and why. I hope Ingvar will be okay.
Well written. I like the use of the hangman's noose both at the beginning and near the end of the chapter, showing how Godric's nightmares are turning to reality.
I love the discussion with the horse. You really brought out the personality of the animal. It was almost as if he was Mr. Ed and having a real conversation with his owner.
The kidnapping/destruction scene of their house wasn't at all what I expected, but it worked quite well. Have Godric "disappear" would create quite a lot of suspicion from a boy who already doesn't like him, especially since this seems to be a tendancy of Gryffindor. (I fight it's interesting that Salazar finds him so cowardly when others know him for the opposite.)
It is a bit puzzling why Ingvar wants to live among these people who despise him for being what he naturally is. I hope you address Ingvar and his philosphies/opinions more. One can definitely see the beginning of Salazar's pureblood mantra and how it might have, originally, been formed, not out of hatred but out of fear.
Nice reference to some famous founders artifacts: sword and locket. Perhaps we'll run across the other two later.
I always imagined Gryffindor and Slytherin as friends at one point which spiraled downward. I look forward to see how you handle that connection.
Heeeey! I'm here for our swap!
Oh my gosh -- Godric left in the middle of the night without saying goodbye which means he has no idea that the Slytherin family has been abducted ahhhhhhh! The imagery surrounding Godric being haunted by his dreams was really quite good, though...very haunting. I love the little interaction with Alben, by the way, he seems like a very good horse, and the scene provided a very charming comedic interlude.
I think I'm also starting to gather information to piece together what's happening timeline wise (which, by the way, I love that you've done it this way, so that I can piece things together). I'm assuming that since Godric is already aquainted with Helga and Rowena, that there is already something in the making to the start of Hogwarts (or what will be Hogwarts). I do love the spin on the timeline, though -- how Salazar is younger than I would have thought he would have been, so the target for recruitment is naturally Ingvar. Very clever.
Speaking of -- I'm absolutely terrified for what's to come next for the Slytherins, and that impending doom feeling is not helped by the canonical information that Salazar (for some reason, possibly this reason) hates Muggles. That and, statistically speaking for stories, when a mentor is present, it is a good indication that said mentor will die so that the 'student' can grow beyond X cap (one of my fave tropes), makes me think that Ingvar will meet an untimely end sooner or later. So. I'm nervous moving forward. But I'm going to do it anyway *braces self*.
And I thought you handled that entire scene very well. Salazar's complex and increasing anger towards the people who have taken them, knowing that he and his family are going to die, was displayed in a realistic way that I think suits him. While you've previously done a wonderful job in revealing his softer side, the thought of unjustly losing his family is that special something that I think would ignite that rage inside of him. Also, the future is looking dreary for them :/ . I'm dying (no pun intended) to know how they're going to get out of it. Plus (and I'm tacking this on as an afterthought, so apologies for the placement) his view of Godric in this moment (regardless of if Godric hid without alerting them or left in the night without saying goodbye) was a nice touch.
But Godric didn't leave. I mean, he sort of intended to, but he didn't. AND THEN HE WAKES UP AND GOES BACK TO THE HOUSE BUT THE HOUSE IS COMPLETELY BURNED DOWN. X.X AND I'M BEGINNING TO THINK THAT THE DREAMS HAUNTING HIM WERE OF HIS OWN FAMILY AND THE SMALLEST ONE WAS EMPTY BECAUSE IT WAS MEANT FOR HIM AND WHY! ;_; AND WHO IS THE LITTLE GIRL???
WE NEED MORE UPDATES BECAUSE YOU LEFT ON SOMEWHAT OF A CLIFFHANGER THINGS NEED RESOLVING.
And also, back to Godric, it must be downright terrifying that (assuming that his family was killed for witchcraft) the only other family he really had might also be dead or in grave danger and really that's a huge blow (to the point where he is almost convinced that he still must be mid-nightmare).
I'm freaking out.
-Rumpels
Hey Kat! Once again, I’m woefully late on your review swaps and by this point I’m not even sure what to say? But free time has come and here I am to fulfill my end of the swap.
I’m still really curious about what exactly it is that haunts Godric in his nightmares. Unless you’ve already mentioned it and I just don’t remember?
“…How much trouble could come from a quick walk down to the stables? He’d be back soon enough.” Well… look what happened to Salazar, Ingvar, and Amara.
I don’t really think it’s a great idea to sleep in the stable, considering what happened to the Slytherin family. There could still be lurking danger, but okay.
We don’t really know for sure, but from what information Salazar gives us, it definitely seems like it was muggles that attacked them. I mean, I don’t really know if most humans would call them demons and devils, but I know that this is how people would describe things they don’t know. And it makes me feel really bad for the Slytherin’s, it really does. I can kind of get why Salazar might be wary of muggles (if they are muggles) after this, but it doesn’t really justify all of the purism (is that what it’s called?).
I definitely understand the feeling of helplessness though. It’s a really sucky situation to be in, knowing that there’s truly nothing significant you can do in a situation you’ve reached a dead end in. But for the time being, all three of them seem to be okay, and that’s good. I’d hate to see one of them die so quickly into the story, and I’ve sort of become slightly attached to all of them?
The dramatic irony is killing me here. I’m kind of disappointed to hear Salazar’s disparaging words knowing that Godric is actually safe at home probably by some coincidence—maybe the people who hurt the Slytherins didn’t see him or whatever. I feel like with the way you’ve characterized him, Godric has a strong loyalty to Ingvar, and I think that might extend to his family as well, and that probably means he’d try to do something to save, or even find out what the hell happened.
Godric, for the most part despite his emotions, seems to be handling everything as well as he could. His rationality is still somehow intact, even after seeing the Slytherin’s burned house. And I think I was right in my assessment of Godric’s character, which always makes me feel good. I also wonder who the little girl might be. It’s kind of surprising because most people wouldn’t think of a little girl when they hear the word ‘threat’.
But anyways, this was a great chapter! Thanks for writing! xx
Hey Kat! I’m here for my overdue end of the review swap! I’m so sorry about the lateness, college began kicking my ass from day one! I’m happy to be reading this story again, I really need a something to destress me right now, haha.
Ah, already I kind of relate to Godric in these first few sentences. I tend to also avoid things that make nervous or anxious.
Have I mentioned? I really really like the relationship between Godric and Ingvar. It’s really parental, and also a healthy one at that!
Whatever it was Godric came for, Ingvar took it in stride! I like that. It was also a very controlled situation—which is… usually not what I’m used to.
Ingvar truly is a Slytherin! He strikes me as a type to be loyal to those he considers family and seems to have an aura of self-confidence about him. I like that. Also, I really liked the description of pride, I feel like it highlights one of the key differences between being a Gryffindor and Slytherin, similar as they are.
Whatever it is the favor that Godric asked, it must be dangerous. Ingvar is afraid of the good life that he has, and he’s scared of losing it. Similarly, this also paints him as a really family oriented man, and also reinforces that he’s a Slytherin, though he’s not a Founding Father, haha.
I really hope that that rustle from the bushes wasn’t a person. Otherwise I see this ending really badly, especially knowing Salazar’s wariness of muggles and muggleborns.
Oh god, what’s happening? Is Ingvar’s rebuttal to Marcus showing it’s consequences? Or maybe it’s something else entirely, but I’m worried for them!
Are they muggles? Did muggles kidnap them? I don’t know. But the cliffhanger makes me want to read more.
Thanks for writing! xx
Author's Response:Hi, locks. You'll just have to read the next chapter to find out. :P
Thanks for the review, and I'm glad you're enjoying the story!
~Kat
Hi, Kat! Here for your request, sorry it took me a bit...
How dare you break the chapter there, though? I hate cliffhangers! I want to know what happens now... will Godric save the Slytherins? And who is this girl? I suppose Salazar can't die now, so I guess that Godric will somehow save at least him, but how? And will his parents live as well? I have a feeling that they won't and it breaks my heart a little...
I can't blame Salazar for his rage towards the people of the village, and I can't really blame him for his resentment towards Godric, either, even if I know that he hasn't abandoned them. It's a luck that Godric decided to go for that walk, actually, because now he can help. If he'd been with them in the house, there would be no hope for any of them... but of course that's not how Salazar sees it. I hope he'll get the chance to change his mind soon.
I'm just so furious at the Muggles here! Bigotry makes me so angry, in whichever direction it goes... the Slytherins don't deserve what's happening to them, it's terrible what people can do in the name of religion and/or just because they can't accept people who are different. Unfortunately this kind of violence hasn't stopped in the middle ages... (sorry, didn't mean to go political, but...)
I loved the alternance of Salazar and Godric's POVs, and I also liked the little mentions of the other two Founders, I'm very curious to meet them. Your writing was so good, as always, you have such a compelling style and beautiful descriptions. It's so good!
You'll need to hurry now, because I need to know what happens next and if everyone will be okay. Please, let me know when the next chapter will be posted!
Lots of love and snowball hug, my dear!
Chiara
Author's Response:Sorry for making you wait, Chiara, I plan to have the next chapter out in the next week or two, so hopefully you can wait until then. Thank you for the review!
Hi Kat! I’m here from your forum request :D
This is a very scary dream that you start the chapter off with—and I strongly suspect that it’s a memory as well as a dream. What happened? Whose execution did Godric witness? Is he in danger (probably)? And we still don’t know why he’s come to visit the Slytherins or what he wants Ingvar’s help with. I love how you’ve set up so much intrigue and so many questions in the first few chapters of this story.
I love the contrast of the peaceful night scene that Godric sees at the stables and him falling back asleep with the Slytherin family’s danger. It must have taken quite a mob to overcome this family and it looks as though they are in a pretty tight spot. I hope very much that Godric will be able to rescue them.
It’s interesting too that Salazar immediately assumes that Godric has abandoned them, but Ingvar has faith in him. I look forward to learning more about Godric’s history with the family that they have such opposing reactions to him.
Nice job writing Godric’s reaction to the wreckage of the Slytherin’s house. I wonder now if the scene that he keeps flashing back to is a lynching of magic folk by muggles…
And who is this girl who’s caught him?? I hope that he will be able to get out of this.
Nice work on this chapter! I look forward to the next one!
Yours,
Noelle
Author's Response:Thanks for the review, Noelle. The questions will be answered shortly.
Yikes I'm really behind this time. At least I maintain my hot mess reputation.
Okay, so I've decided that I'm going to start with talking about the mentor thing again, as Godric and Ingvar's interaction leads the way, and work into the rest as we get there. I think the most notable thing here is that Godric experiences this moment of disillusion once Ingvar refuses to help him (do whatever it is that Godric is asking him to do). I think that this is a critical point in the mentor relationship that comes hand-in-hand with personal growth and can also be seen with a parent/child relationship. While Godric was a child and Ingvar was a younger man, it appears that Godric had somewhat idolized Ingvar (as the student or child role usually lends to). However, now that Godric is older, he is seeing Ingvar in a new light. While there are implications that Ingvar has changed over time, the sentiment still remains that the relationiship that the two shared is no longer the same (and probably was changed the moment Godric left).
I also appreciated learning more about Ingvar's characterization in this chapter. He's clearly protective of his family, as he won't risk them to do whatever it is that Gordic wants to do, but he's also still very protective over Godric, which is sweet, and is something that I'm anticipating seeing come into play more in the future. I also enjoyed his cunning and his unwillingness to bend to people like Markus. Ingvar's a really great character to read about, because he both has this softer, protective side, and yet he can be distant, calculating, and unyeilding.
As I've said in the previous chapter, I can see shadows of that characterization falling over Salazar, though he's certainly established a bit of individuality over his father. I love the sheer lack of meanace you're portraying him with -- he seems like a very gentle child, despite his sometimes demeanor, and I love the way that his interactions with snakes is just something that is apart of him. He's clearly very caring, and his understanding that the Snake was only trying to protect her eggs definitely lends to the assumptions I've drawn of him in this so far.
Of course, the question of what Godric came for still remains, though I do love the sense of longing for the "old days" that he has while he was initially biding his time before asking Ingvar. Also, I imagine that Salazar was seen performing magic and that things are about to get very bad for the Slytherin family. However, I noticed there was only three wands -- and that makes me think that maybe Godric wasn't caught. So, hopefully it's his time to play hero...or so I hope. Also, I want to know why Godric initially left!
Anway, this was a really great characterization chapter that made me care about what's happening to the characters, which is fantastic because now you've written them into grave peril and now I'm tense and hoping that everything's going to be okay. n.n I've read some of your things, but I'm not overly familiar with your writing trends, so I'm not sure whether to be terrified or not. History proves that I should be terrified by default.
Thanks so much for the swaps! Again, sorry that I've been running behind!
-Rumpels
Author's Response:Hey, Rumpels! Thank you for the lovely (as always) review!
Hey! I'm here for our swap -- sorry about being so late!
I've been a fan of this era for a long time -- there's something particularly appealing about it. Unfortunately, there aren't a lot of stories I've found about them as people tend to dabble in the area in short spurts, so this era isn't flooded like other eras. I think it's a matter of it being a specific time (one that begs for a type of quaint storytelling that other time-periods don't necissarily ask for), and the voice you've captured in this chapter demonstrates the feel of the time rather nicely. I think this is especially true in your introduction, which set the mood and started off this "classic" vibe of the time.
So, as an overall impression, I love the way you've set this up! On a more specific note, I simply adored the way that Salazar and Godric's lives overlapped again. It had a natural fluidity about it, as if it were always fated to happen (one way or another). The idea that Salazar's father had once been Godric's mentor is perfect! It allows for innate interactions and is a great setup to the pair eventually becoming friends (given it follows canonical reference, and if not, sets it up for whatever you have planned). Also, since Salazar is so young still, I assume this isn't immediately starting with the building of Hogwarts, so I'm definitely curious about the plotline!
I tend to focus a lot on characterization while reading, and I love Salazar and Godric (especially, though I've got a soft spot for both Amara and Ingvar already) presented this way. Both characters are almost as I'd expect them to be headcanon-wise, though there's something particularly unique about them.
Salazar's cool demeaner is strong, but I love that you've let slip through a bit of a softer side to him in the scene at the beginning between he and Amara. Plus, I love the similarity in that scene with Salazar to the scene with Ingvar where he, too, is scowling, but the heart isn't actually in it. From the outside looking in and the information given to me, they seem like a pretty loving family so far.
Then there's Godric, who has this boyish cheekiness about him that's very charming. Or endearing as he put it -- and I can't help but love that he enjoyed showing off around the ladies ;). And then there's the entire mentorship thing between Godric and Ingvar and GOOD GRAVY do I love the mentor/student relationship - it's similar to a father-son relationship, but different in a few ways. It's one of my favorites, and you've done a lovely job with the Godric - Ingvar dynamic.
SO, now I need to know what's happening! Why is Godric there? What does he need? What's going on in the world around him! I'm certain all my questions are answered in future chapters, but I love that I'm left with the questions that make me want to keep reading.
I think you've done a lovely job so far, and I'm definitely interested in reading more!
-Rumpels
Author's Response:Hey, Rumpels!
I'm glad to see someone else who is a fan of the genre. Most people I've talked to so far seem a bit hesitent to read the era, so that's refreshing to hear! If you like the mentor thing you're probably going to love the next chapter, which is mostly between the two of them again. Can't wait to see what you think!
~Kat
Hi, kat! This is the second review swap you offered on the forum.
In this chapter you let us have a glimpse of the reason why Godric came back to Slytherins. It seems that terrible battles or the other happenings influenced Ingvar badly, his friends seem to have been killed...so sad. You described his angst very well. Then I wondered what happened to Godric's parents. Were they dead? From Ingvar's affection towards him, I guess he suffered a lot in his younger days.
I was excited at the scene Salazar spoke snake language. Maybe from his father's side, he must have been inherited the gift, the ability to speak with snakes. I am afraid the attackers hated magic and witnessed Salazar was a wizard who spoke scary snake language, it ended in their predicament, yet their wands were destroyed. I worry about Amara and her unborn baby. I hope they would be alright, if not...I suppose that's why Salazar hates allowing Muggle-borns to enter Hogwarts.
K
Author's Response:Thanks for the review, Kenny! Your questions will get answered in the next few chapters. :)
~Kat.
*screeches*
I double checked and I did review the first two chapters on HPFF but I reread them as a refresher. I'm not sure how much you played iwth the first two chapters before reposting and updating here but I have to commend your continuity and flow between the chapters. When I pick a story up after a while it's really hard to keep the same narrative structure and voice but you really flowed well between your updates.
I really like how Godric leaving and the attack on the family were just so poorly timed. If Godric had lingered a while longer would he have stopped the whole thing from happening or would he be captured with the rest of them? I like how you showed both sides -- that Godric just needed air but it looked like he ran away or left without goodbye to Salazar. I can tell this will divide them for an extended period. Even if Godric is able to save the day (or at least save Salazar) it'll be a point of tension.
You ended on such a good cliffhanger!! I am excited to see what happens next.
-Rose
Author's Response:Hi, Rose!
I've only edited for grammer and spelling mistakes so far.
This will indeed be something that will affect things between Salazar and Godric. How that may be is yet to be seen, but stay tuned. :P
Thank you for the review!
~Kat
Hey Kat! I’m here for part two of our review swap! I’m hesitant to read anything that’s Founder’s Era related, but I’m interested in seeing what spins you’ll put on this era. I’m excited to read this!
Huh. I think from the first sentence alone you already set yourself apart a little from other founder’s era fic (which I have read, just not a lot of it), just from Salazar alone. I think in a lot of narratives we usually see the founders in an older age and much wiser. I think just from writing from the perspective of a fourteen-year-old is interesting because it makes you wonder, huh, what would Salazar be like as a hormonal fourteen-year-old? Would he be the bigot we’ve come to know or is this when he learns to become one?
Tiny detail that I like: Salazar’s scowl softening at the sight of his mother’s smile. I just think it’s sweet, and shows that he’s got some, ah, humanity, to him? I think that’s the word. I like him so far, and I think that’s saying something because my opinion of him before wasn’t really all that great, haha. His relationship with his mother seems to be really good.
…For some strange reason, I think I really got it into my head that all four of the founder’s were of the same age, and Godric being twenty-three really threw me for a loop there. Not that that’s a bad thing! I’m just more intrigued now to see how you’ll build their relationships from now on.
I wonder what the whole fight was about. What secrets are Ingvar hiding? What could be that incriminating?
Ingvar so far seems like an okay man, and his relationship with Godric seems to be mentor/student type, and I believe that they’re pretty fond of each other as well. So, I guess my question is how did Salazar become the person that we’ve come to know? Is he really that one-dimensional or is there more to the eye than we see? Because if Ingvar is a good father, then surely, he’d raise his son right? Or maybe he passed on his own beliefs to Salazar. And what is it that Godric must tell Ingvar? Could it possibly put their relationship in danger? Ah, I’ve got so many questions…
Also, I completely relate to Salazar about speaking only when spoken to. I’m just not such a great conversationalist, haha. I like what you have here so far, and considering I have so many questions, I think I’m definitely coming back to this one!
Thank you for writing! xx
Author's Response:
Hi, Locks!
I'm glad I seem to be twisting some expectations, because that's exactly what I had set out to do. I think the Founders era can often have characters that come out to be rather two-dimensional, likely from the lack of knowledge we have about them. Heads up, I throw out anything we're told from Pottermore and I'm only going off the snippets we have in the books. To be honest I started writing this mostly out of spite from how few fics there are for the era and from some of what J.K. revealed after the books ended. Spite, it turns out, is a pretty good motivator for me.
One of my other goals is to see what made them into who they were. That's what inspired the text on the banner, because people aren't just born how they are. At least not fully. Their experiences make them, and there's very few Founders stories that explore what made them into the people they became. That, I think, is a shame.
A lot of people seem to think they're the same age. I think that's a bit of fanon that has extended to the wider consciousness, even though even on Pottermore the ages weren't identical. Although again, I'm not doing it like Pottermore either. Otherwise Salazar would be the oldest, but that wasn't as interesting to me as what I wanted to do. ;P
I'm glad you're enjoying it. I'd definitely be up for another swap with you for my next two chapters once I edit chapter three this weekend.
Thanks for the lovely review!
~Kat
Hi, kat. Thank you for offering review swap. It's my pleasure to read your Founders.
I like how you started the story in a narrative way. I googled Wild Moor and Fen. The place, Fen is really suits Salazar, a speaker of snake language.
I understand your end note, the book part. Maybe they used to tell the stories in oral literature. Slytherin could be the first to develop them into printed literature. :D
I also like the descriptions of Salazar's mother. They are very detailed. You did it great.
I really love your descriptions of the town when Godric visited to find Ingvar. They reminded me of the landscape of TV drama, Rome.
Mystery began in the middle along with Godric. Why did he have to find Salazar's father? Something fishy must have been going on. Is the guy named Marcus, a Muggle? I wonder if he and his people hated magic...their suffering seems to have started with Godric's entering.
One bright thing is that both Ingvar and Amara welcomed him. Reading Salazar's response, I don't know why but I imagined Draco a bit.
As I read later stories while beta reading, I guess something ominous thing will happen soon. I'll come back at the next chapter soon!
Author's Response:Hi again, Kenny!
I tried to get the opening similar to a fairytale style opening. And as for finding out about why Godric is there, you'll learn that in the upcoming chapters, and for the hatred of magic the first Harry Potter book mentions it. This era is a time where most people feared magic as a general rule of thumb. As to why, that's also something that may come up later.
I look foward to seeing your thoughts on later chapters!
~Kat.
Hiua, I’m here for our review swap!
Oh wow!!! I don’t think I’ve ever seen any stories written about the Founders let alone read one! But honestly I loved this so much! I could imagine a very medieval-style setting for this and it was so fun! Having Godric know the Slytherins was really cool, and Salazar’s character just seemed exactly how I’d expected him? Especially when he just sort of nodded stiffly at Godric and that was that. The contrast between them is already present - Godric is just so happy and jolly!
Okay so I’ll put it to you bluntly - is Marcus a Malfoy? Those mannerisms and his LOOK just screamed Lucius to me!!
I love your writing style, and your descriptions are just wonderful! I honestly cannot wait to read more of this - you have me hooked!
Author's Response:Hi, Kate.
It seems a lot of people haven't read much Founders, and that's one of the reasons I'm writing this. That and spite at J.K. from her later lore about them on Pottormore which I personally think undermines a lot of the hints we read in the book about them. The original plan for this story didn't even have that mentor relationship. That was a later idea that struck and I'm glad to see so many people like it.
As for Marcus, you'll just have to see, won't you? :P
Thank you for the lovely review and the swap!
~Kat.
Darkness indeed. This sheds a lot of light on why the Salazar would come to despise muggles. I like that he gets more development here and we get to see both kind and fearful sides of his persona that make him much more real than the larger-than-life figure we come to know in most fics.
Godric and Ingvar's relationship as teacher and apprentice is also finally revealed here and presents quite an interesting wrinkle in the Gryffindor-Slytherin saga that is sure to unfold. While the attack on the Slytherin household seems connected to Godric's concerns in my mind, I also wonder what he needed Ingvar for if so. What he would be planning to do about it.
Godric's portrayal in this chapter was interesting in itself. We get a lot more development of the Slytherin family in this chapter, but there are still pieces - particularly at the beginning - of the Gryffindor patriarch and I do have to say that I'm a little surprised by his cautiousness and inaction with such a seemingly time-sensitive situation.
Regardless, I hope you take up the story again. I'd be interested to see where it goes.
Author's Response:That's what I was trying for. One of my goals in this is to shake up the common concepts you find about the Founders. Real people are complex, and rarely fall into just the neat catagories of the House's assigned personality traits, even if they portray them.
That will be revealed in upcoming chapters. Hope to see you around again for chapter three!
Howdy Kat! Sorry for the obnoxiously long delay, but I'm here now and intend to ride on through Chapter Two as well as some sort of attempt at recompense for the delay.
In this chapter there's definitely intrigue. The end of the chapter is particularly teasing and leaves me wondering just why Godric is there and just what the dark times are that are being alluded to (at least as affects wizardkind). The relationship you write between Godric and Ingvar is also off to a good start. I'm interested to see how that dynamic unfolds in light of the fact that it's Salazar rather than Ingvar who helps found Hogwarts.
As far as other aspects, I thought the chapter was a bit short. Salazar's bit (at least for now) felt like it was kind of...there...just to insert him into the story from the start and give us this simple initial impression. I'd commit more to including him (and his dynamic with his parents if useful) if you decide to keep his introduction in this first chapter as well.
On to the next chapter!
Author's Response:Hi, thanks for dropping by!
Salazar's was short by design. The first bit of the story is going to be more about Godric and Ingvar. Salazar is certainly going to get his arc soon, however. I did want to have him open as a kind of symbolic, "It opens as it closes" way, so I think I'll keep it where it is for now, even though it doesn't do much more than showing him and his mother as being there.
Sorry for the late answer!
Hey there, I’m back with the review you requested!
I love the easy chemistry between Ingvar and Godric! It’s clear that, even though they started out as teacher and apprentice, they’re on an even playing field now, and see eye-to-eye. Their shared sense of humour also makes it very believable that they became friends; it seems like although Ingvar is the more serious of the two, he also shares Godric’s mischievous streak. I also think it’s a very fitting bit of characterisation that Ingvar should be the one to finally ask Godric about why he’s actually there; from what you’ve shown us, Godric seems like the kind of person to ignore a problem for as long as possible, while Ingvar has that sort of no-nonsense attitude that ensures he would want to get to the bottom of things as soon as possible, and that really comes across in that scene. I also love the little detail about how they treat the letter, with Godric having crumpled it and Ingvar diligently folding it, that’s a very neat way of showing their differences!
I really want to know the contents of that letter! Who wrote it, and what are they asking of Ingvar? It looks as though there have been political problems for a long time, and Ingvar used to be involved in it, but hasn’t been for a while? I love how you create mystery here, and it’s very effective, but I would have loved some more tangible information about the conflict.
I also like what we see of Salazar, and your characterisation of him is excellent, too! It’s clear that while he’s very book-learned, and can be a bit of a know-it-all, correcting his mother on the use of poisonous/venomous like that, he also knows how to apply that knowledge. It’s also very endearing to see how close he is to his mother, and how concerned for her safety he is. The appearance of that blurred dark shape is also very good! Even though it’s a relatively small detail, it helps to set the tone for that otherwise happy and harmless scene to something darker and helps to build up tension for the rest of the chapter, too!
The last scene is so good, too! It was certainly unexpected, but that’s what you want from a surprise ambush, of course! Salazar’s confusion and terror are very palpable, and you end on the perfect cliff-hanger to make me want to keep reading!
I’m really excited to see what comes next!
Love, Julia
Author's Response:Hi, Julia!
Thank you for the review. I hope you'll be around for the next chapeter which should be up tomorrow, because I really like seeing what all you catch in the story. The thing about the note specificaly wasn't something anyone else had caught. I'm glad you liked this chapter and I hope to see you around here again later! :D
Author's Response:Hi, Julia!
Thank you for another lovely review and I can't wait to see what you'll think of chapter three! I'm sure you'll get answers to your questions in the next two chapters.
Hey there, I’m here with the review you requested!
I think it’s so interesting that you start your Founding story so early; given that Salazar is only fourteen, it must surely be years, or even decades until Hogwarts opens its doors to students, so I love that there’s a lot of room to explore the Founders’ characters and the changes in the wider political climate that you allude to. It’s also really intriguing that Salazar seems to come from a pretty average family; with his exclusionary views that we know of from the books I always assumed that he came from a wealthy, elitist family, so it’s going to be interesting to see how you have him develop those views.
I also really liked your portrayal of Godric, with the cheek that eventually gets him in trouble, he is exactly like what I’d imagine the founder of Gryffindor house to be like. You also build up the mystery really well in that section; with the hints to changes in the political climate (and wizard/muggle relations?) and Godric refusing to tell us the reason for his visit, I certainly have a lot of questions! But I think I would have liked just a little more background info, to really draw me into the story – like what exactly Ingvar, and presumably Godric, since he trained with the older wizard, do for a living. I feel like revealing that detail might have been enough to allow the reader to make some guesses about what’s going on without hinting to much about the upcoming plot, because I always enjoy establishing some hypotheses – it helps to get me more involved in the story, if that makes sense. But you set up the mystery of the story very well, and left me with a lot of unanswered questions, which is exactly what you want from a first chapter!
(Also, I don’t even think Ingvar having access to books is too anachronistic: While they were of course super rare and expensive in the medieval muggle world, I think it would be possible to argue for them being a lot more common in the wizarding world, what with the existence of copying/duplication charms, so it could well be possible for an ordinary person (i.e. not a monk) to have access to them, even if books would still be very valuable.)
Much Love,
Julia
Author's Response:Hi, Julia
That's one of the reasons I did this. I don't think I've seen any stories other than oneshots that deal with them before Hogwarts, or at least not more than a year before. One of the things I wondered was what made them into who they were? Why did they create this school instead of someone else? What drove them? And all that can only be answered by what comes before! So here I am trying to put that all together.
I also am really aiming to shake up the common conceptions, so glad to see I'm off to a good start there.
I couldn't really do that for Godric, but I figured people could guess with Ingvar, since he and Markus were the only ones in the shop.
Thanks for the review!
Hello, I'm here for our review swap.
So the first thing I would like to note is that reading founders related fiction is not usually where I can be found, so compairing this to other stories (or really even founders canon) is not something I'm going to be able to help with. I think that it's an interesting time and definitely something worth telling, as you mention in your authors notes without them we wouldn't have Hogwarts after all.
Now as for the actual material you have written... it was splendid! I actually really enjoyed reading this first chapter. It was a very smooth read from the transition from Salazar to Godric, to the description and conversations, it was all very seemless. Honestly, your word choice and tone of voice in this chapter was really wonderful and it just had this nice pacing to it. You also do a great job of bringing up the question of what I assume is going to be a decent part of the plot going foward, why exactly did Godric go after his former mentor? What is it that's about to change? And from the feel of things, it's not going to be good whatever it is.
You've also left me rather curious about your characters. As I've said, I really don't read much founders era anything so for me there is no preset ideas and what life was like for them. One thing I did find rather odd was the age gap between the two founders. I feel like 8 years (especially during those times) is a rather significant gap in age and I'm really curious to see how that will play out and if that will affect the characters and their relationships at all. But I felt that all of your characters read really smoothly and you kept them consistent throughout the chapter. Salazar seemed to be more a man of a few words in both sections to me and I liked that. I think that he seems like he would be more a guy who stays in his head rather than constently speaking things out loud.
Overall, the chapter all came together really well and I honestly can't find anything negative to say or even any areas of improvement. You've definitely caught my interest and made the first chapter a fun read with the right amout of questions to not feel overwhelmed but also something to make us want to hit the next button. Thank you so much for agreeing to do a swap with me.
~Slytherinchica08~
Author's Response:Hi, sorry for it taking so long to respond. Also, Did I get to the review for this? I know I disappeared for a few months due to some personal stuff going on, and I want to make sure anything I promised I make up for, so please pm me on the forums if I did not.
I think there is an age gap in canon but it goes the other way. However, I've taken some liberties with this. I think it makes sense for there to be a few years in between the founders. It always seems stranger to me when they're all the same age!
Thank you for the lovely review and the swap, and again I'm so sorry it took so long to respond.
Hi Kat! I’m here for the double swap I promised to do for you today <3
Ooooh this chapter already explains a whole lot more, but at the same time gives you a lot of questions in return. I mean, will Ingvar be okay? Will Amara be okay? How Violent is this going to get and who’s wands were the ones broken? What kind of animal was that? There’s lots and lots to be answered, yet we also got to know more about the entire relationship between Godric and the family and how they all feel about certain things!
I also love the fact with how you keep in line with the age they’re in. Both from the reactions, as well as the choice of words and the way they could get into trouble, but also the entire pregnancy thing. It’s interesting to think about it that way and to see it develop in an age where nothing can be checked or done and how they value everything by ‘it’s worked before don’t see why it wouldn’t work now’. Very nice touch!
Also another question I have - where is Godric in all this fighting? He was still around wasn’t he, or had he already left? I’m not quite sure if i missed it or whether you kept it vague. Great to keep the suspense in though!
X Ineke
Author's Response:Well, I think a few of your questions will be answered in the next two chapters, so stay tuned for that. ;P
Thank you for the reviews!
Hi Kat! I’m here for the double swap I promised to do for you today <3
First of all, I love how you start the story by introducing the characters one by one. Not with much, but with enough that you catch a glimpse of who they are, because it makes it interesting and is more inclined to keep you hooked. Aside from that, for instance, you made the entire thing with Salazar very relatable, as it is definitely something that has happened for me as well (though, I didn’t sit high up in a tree, but that’s another matter, really).
Okay so it’s not really one by one, but you show enough of both Salazar and Godric to both show how they are as characters, truly showing how they fit their Houses (if you get what I mean), and what they both value in people. The age difference is also an interesting thing, because that may absolutely be cause for differences between them later on. Aside from that you also keep things interesting because you aren’t telling us just yet what Godric is doing there, inviting people to continue reading if they want to find it all out, and also not saying how they all came to know eachother.
Either way it’s a great starting chapter for your story and I can’t wait to read more, especially considering I don’t generally read founders and it’s a nice change from the usual!
X Ineke
Author's Response:Hey, Ineke!
Yeah, that was the way of intro I thought was best. To let them all have a bit of the time in the spotlight instead of having to share it all together from the start. Thanks for the review, and I hope to see you when this updates again in a few days!
I am finally here for your requested review and ahflasfha I'm so sorry it's taken me so long!
There's definitely a clear divide in Godric and Salazar and honestly I am digging it! I love how Salazar is kind of withdrawn from the interactions and Godric especially and how he has his nose in a book at the start! I thought that was absolutely gorgeous characterisation and it tells me a lot about his relationship with Godric - how he recognises him but doesn't show any emotion about it. BIG CHEF KISS
As far as grammatical/spelling, it's not explicitly difficult to read and complicated, I really, really loved it and (shock horror) I might actually be interested in something that's not Next-Gen because of this haha! (There is one spelling error in "a thick book shoot" where it should be "shot" but that's the only hiccup I've noticed)
And ohmygosh THAT HOOK!!!! I cannot wait to see what the driving force for Godric taking such extreme measures to find the Slytherin family is!!!!!
All in all, great read, cannot wait for more!!!!
- love, em
Author's Response:Thanks for the review, Em!
Well, the next chapter will be up soon, so hopefully I'll see you here again! Look for it within the next day. ;)
Here for our swap :)
Nice job maintaining the suspense! I'm hooked and can't help envy the way you write once again. The palpable tension, seamless pacing and budding suspense make this chapter quite a read.
I can relate to Godric's predicament about feeling kinda queasy in terms of asking a question in which the answer won't be pleasant. (aka how am I doing in this class so far professor?) I also really enjoyed the banter between Godric and Ingvar. It was believable and seemed like something that could actually be said.
I can't help but feel sorry for Godric, in the same way I felt for Harry. It's like throughout the whole progression of this chapter, he's carrying the burden/weight of something that will be told later. It almost seems as though there's this immense boulder of pressure sitting on top of his shoulder blades and he just wants to push it off.
Uh oh, the tension with Muggles is stressing me at but also seems understandable in a way. I'm going to bet that you'll expand on where Salazar's feelings towards people who aren't magical comes from and I really can't wait to see what'll happen.
Author's Response:Thank you for the review. I get that feeling too and drew on it a bit when writing that scene. I have a bit of an anxiety problem myself and procrastination is my middle name, so Godric really is A Mood here, as the kids say. :P
Thanks for dropping by!
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