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You have a great opening line here! I feel like I have so many plans and all this excitement and then just stare at the page sometimes becuase the opening line is the hardest XD.
Ok I love this grandma already. She's fiesty and cranky and that's my kind of side-character lol. I'm here for her pushing our lovely lead on people, that's right gma fix her up! The more drama the better! lol
Getting used to this setting you're creating. It's modern enough that there's TV and references to cosplay and Greek myths, but they still have debutants and balls and a- the hell is that word? Marchioness? Had to google it, okay I'm on board again XD You've done a great job world-building here, bringing in these details without feeling like a lore dump, slowly introducing the more fantasy elements of what's going on.
Oh honestly vibes girl, rain is better than sunshine. Fight me. Cozy nook is better then sunny field anyday for me.
Love the lines about 'her most recent ladies maid' and 'dust on the clocks' and how the house feels like a museum. They tell us so much about people and places in a show not tell sort of way.
She's a planner! Yesssss. love this detail and it makes a lot of sense to me too, feels motivated by her lack of freedom, ya know? She only gets these bursts of independce so she's learned to make the most of them.
Curious about these dreams. She seems to be watching it happen, like an observer, rather than in first person. I wonder though if she feels in the dream too, like running alongside the girl seeing this happen or if it’s like she’s fully detached from it, like watching a movie scene.
Setting up for the story really well here at the end. Headed into a junior school year, but kicking it off with the ball first! And a final wink at these dreams happening at the end there too! AHHHH What’s gonna happen?! Why is the gazebo glowing?! Why is there so much magical energy on the Island? Is Evan Draper the baddie of the whole story sent to seduce and destroy innocent little Hannah!??! Ok, I’m getting ahead of myself, but this is fun.
Loved this first chapter and introduction to this world and these people. What a fun story you're starting!
- Jacquelin
Hiya, here with the review you requested!
I really love how you establish the setting – I’m a sucker for modern fantasy, and I love how you set up magic to exist alongside cosplay and wifi. I also really liked how, despite you mentioning magic and spells in the first couple of paragraphs, with it at first being limited to dreams, it didn’t immediately click for me that magic was something that actually existed in this setting – I really enjoyed the slow build-up of that!
It also feels like, anytime you talk about magic, it’s posited as this ancient, fragile, dying thing – like how the anti-dust charm functions only some of the time, and how people seem to have forgotten how to fix or renew it, and how it’s kind of developed this uncanny valley thing, where it’s just ever so slightly off – really looking forward to finding out more about magic, and how it works (or fails to work) in this setting!
Since you asked about descriptions, I did really enjoy them, but they did feel a bit long-winded at times in the first part of the chapter – perhaps because we spent so much time only in Beatrice’s thoughts before there’s any interaction? I feel like the description of the garden, for example, might work a bit better towards the end, when Beatrice and Hannah are looking out onto the gazebo anyway – that would get us to the action a bit quicker, and provide more of a reason for Beatrice to give a description later on. But I do enjoy your descriptions, you paint a very clear and vivid picture with them!
I’m also particularly intrigued to find out more about Cornelia and her relationship with her granddaughter – for all that Beatrice complains about her, it seems like the two are perhaps more similar than she’d like to admit! After all, it is Beatrice who is guilty of scheduling bathroom breaks, and not Cornelia, that was a fun little detail to compare the two!
Loved the banter between the girls as well – and gods, the threat of publishing teenage school photos is certainly effective; doesn’t matter if it’s seventh or eighth grade, they’re all hideous! Really excited to find out more about these four! You already showed us a bit of the dynamic between Beatrice and Hannah, and I’m hoping we get to see more of that for the other girls in coming chapters!
Lovely opening chapter!
x Julia
Author's Response:Thank you so much for the lovely review, Julia!
I completely get what you mean about the descriptions, and I'm actually going back through the two already-posted chapters and the ones I'm working on to make sure that the descriptions are actually where they should be and condensed a bit. The third chapter is actually getting almost completely rewritten because it was a lot of blather, and I'm reordering a bit of it so it'll flow better. I agree about the garden, and I think I'm going to move it. I wasn't sure where to put it, and you have a really good reason for it being near the end. I feel like this chapter and the next drag a bit, and I'm trying to rectify it. I'm glad they're vivid!
I didn't mean to make magic as a dying thing, but I think that might actually work a bit! The ancient and fragile bits kind of tie into the rest of the story, so I'm not going to talk a lot about that or the history of magic/spells in this. But the uncanny valley, that's absolutely what I was going for with the island. It gets a little more uncanny valley in the next chapter, but it's also that people don't actually understand a lot of how some of the older wards actually work. I'm going to have to rework one of the chapters that goes into detail because it's just wayyyy too much infodumping, but I think it's going to be interesting to look at. But for some of the wards, it's like how people don't know exactly how the phone works, but they know how to use it. And some of the charms slowly wear off over time, kind of like when a vacuum gets a little old. I didn't want things to work perfectly because of magic, but I'm concerned that it might be going the other way. I think there's a bit of course-correction done in the next few chapters, but I wanted a fantasy that actually had magic be part of the world, you know?
Speaking of, this absolutely is a modern fantasy, and it coexists alongside technology. I didn't want it to feel super-isolated from not-magical stuff, but there is a thin line, I think. I know it's really cliche to start off with someone waking up from a dream, but I actually really like it. I was so concerned about the first few paragraphs, and I almost cut them! I'm really glad I didn't! I also contemplated having a prologue, but I think I'm not going to bother putting that one up. There's another place that I can use part of it, and I think that would work out a lot better.
I'm so glad you got the similarities between Cornelia and Beatrice! To be fair to both of them, Beatrice's father didn't exactly play a super active part in raising her, while Cornelia did. We'll see a bit more of that, but I think that Beatrice is pretty similar to Cornelia, but there's another member of the family that I think Beatrice is the most similar to. I don't know how many chapters that will take, but I'm very interested in what people think of him. I think he'll be pretty polarizing, but we'll see.
I might have had too much fun writing the banter between these girls, and good news! You'll get more of them. I won't go into who we'll see the most of, as, well, you'll see in the next chapter, but I will say that there are two other friends that we'll meet shortly. The whole friend group has dynamics between each of the members, and while this is all from Beatrice's perspective, we do see those relationships. This might have been apparent from this chapter, but I absolutely love writing Regina and Beatrice's friendship. While I think Beatrice and Wendy are closer, Beatrice and Regina have a very interesting relationship that has been caused partially by their places in this society (as their dads work together) and partially by how different their personalities are. I really love writing it, and I'm really happy that there's a bit more of it.
Thanks for stopping by! This was such a lovely review, and I definitely have some stuff I want to change in this fic because you pointed some really useful things out. I hope you have a nice day!
-A
Robin,
This is an interesting mixture of a variety of genres. You have nobility and monarchical structure combined with magic. (Though at the moment, it only seems the island. Is the main character magical too.) However, this is overset by typical high school activities like AP classes and SATs (ugh! SATs)
Beatrix seems like a well-rounded girl who understands her responsibilities of the world, but still has a teenage life with friendships and sleep-overs. (I think even her grandmother understood that since she left for the night and made sure they had snacks.
And then we have the dreams-definitely foreshadowing of some type, but only time (and a few more chapters) will tell. I look forward to reading them.
Hi, Robin,
I've read this chapter several times, and it's hard to fathom that I still haven't written a review. But one advantage of reading it so many times is that I now have a good handle on it, which wasn't true after Reading #1, because it is set in a pretty detailed universe that is not familiar to me, and of course you don't start with a big info-dump to explain everything that's going on and how this society works. You just feed in details one by one as they become pertinent in the story. Keeping it all in first person POV helps because Beatrice comments in her head about every aspect of her life and much of her personal history.
The story is definitely a mixture of the supernatural and the super-mundane. There is sone magic present, but how much remains to be seen. We hear mentions of wards around the property and potions for growing hair, but that's about it so far. How much other magic the is remains to be seen.
The locale is two islands with familiar names -- Avalon and Albion -- and reference is made to humid Virginia weather, so -- where are were? On some islands off the eastern coast of the United States?
Reference is made to very modern things -- TV, WiFi, SAT and AP tests, Twizzlers, a sleepover of four teenage girls, but also to some kind of hereditary nobility and government with strict etiquette. There is a school called Albion Academy, so other children and families must live on these islands -- doing what?
these characters seem nice enough, but what they'll do or what challenges theyi'l face will show up in subsequent chapters. Normal teenage angst and hi-jinks, or sonething more serious?
I hope that there will be more chapters forthcoming. There is still a lot I don't know about this little universe!
Nicely written. You have me guessing.
Vicki
Author's Response:Hi, Vicki! Thanks for stopping by!
It's kind of funny that you're reviewing this because Beatrice started out a very long time ago as an idea I had for an American HP fic. She has... drastically changed since then, but I just thought it was funny that you've been around for both.
There will, unfortunately, probably be info dumps at some point in this fic. I know of one, but it's actually super in-character for Beatrice (she really likes a certain aspect of magic), but I'm not sure if it will stay an info dump. I like trickling in details, but it would be completely in-character for Beatrice in-universe to info dump to someone about her favorite type of magic.
Speaking of magic, the first two, maybe three?, chapters will be probably be the least magical of the fic. You'll definitely see her do some magic while she's at school, and there are some things that are magical that they use that don't require spells to use. I feel like I worded that weirdly, but I think you'll see what I mean in the next chapter. I wanted to make sure that there was enough magic in this to actually call it a fantasy, though I think it's a bit more of a mystery than a fantasy. I always liked Nancy Drew growing up, and she definitely inspired a good part of this fic.
So the islands are barrier islands off the coast of Virginia. I'm not sure where, exactly, they are in respect to Chincoteague and Assateague, but if you've ever been there, it's very similar to those. I was lucky enough to get to go during Pony Penning a couple years ago, and I have always, always loved Misty of Chincoteague. It's actually probably a little bit smaller than Assateague, but I'm not great at geography. I'd put Avalon and Albion on the other side of the peninsula from them, as it is a fairly short helicopter ride from Avalon to DC. Well, compared to taking a helicopter from Assateague. I know there aren't barrier islands (that I know of) on that side of the peninsula, but these are also magical islands, I'm not sure the rules apply.
It's set in modern(ish) times. I think I have a year in mind, but I'm not entirely sure if it comes up. They have smartphones, but any apps will be completely fictional. It's definitely a bit more modern than certain other magical series, and I do promise that there will be an explanation for how they are able to use modern technology on islands that are pretty much saturated with magic. I'm not sure when that explanation will be, but it does get covered.
We'll be visiting the school in the third chapter, so I'm going to leave everything about that for you to discover in the fic. As for Avalon Island, a lot of the people who live on the island work in some capacity for Beatrice's father or run a shop downtown. Most of the teachers at Albion Academy live there or keep an apartment there during the school year, as it's not a super long ferry ride between islands. There is a little village-esque area near the western side of Avalon, so clear across the island from the summer mansion, and there's shops and an ice cream place and an apothecary that I swear will make an appearance. Not for plot reasons, but I like how the ice cream parlor and the apothecary are the same business. I didn't have a chance to include any scenes with it so far, but there's always winter break.
As for the families, the Council of Lords will be covered. A lot of magical government things and how they intersect with the nonmagical government will be covered, mostly because I wanted to figure out the answers to those questions. I will say that Avalon isn't actually the 'capital', if you will, of the magical people. The Council of Lords does a lot of work in DC, but I don't think we'll be visiting DC this time around. I could be wrong, but it isn't in the plan at this moment. I will say that there is a magical Congress. I don't know how much it will be in, but it does exist. There's a lot of worldbuilding I've done that I'm not sure will actually be mentioned in the fic, but it will influence how things happen.
So I'm hoping that this will have a bit of both. There will be some teenage hi-jinks, and there is definitely some teenage angst. The serious parts are, actually, the parts we've gotten into first, but I am trying to keep this fairly balanced. I don't want it super dark, but I don't want it to be too lighthearted either, you know? I think it's mostly a teen mystery.
Thanks for stopping by, and I hope to get another chapter written soon! I hope you have a nice day!
-A
Review event time!
What's this? Royalty? Magic? I am drawn to this like a moth to a flame lol.
The first line is such a great hook. And then we get Beatrice's internal thoughts, which are equal parts amusing as well as an excellent source for your worldbuilding! Also, as someone who is an absolute sucker for worldbuilding details, I adored your descriptions of the summer home! The lore behind the stone steps and why they exist. The elevator that lets out a warning buzz when you use it. It's all really well laid out and it flows so well with Beatrice's actions and how she's going to greet her friends. You did such a great job balancing all of these elements that often make or break original fiction.
I also liked how you introduced each of Beatrice's friends. It feels very royal-ish, like they're being announced to a grand party. I really find the blend of real high school issues (or at least as they talk about it, since it is still summer) with magic quite intriguing. I definitely want to know more about this world and the magical system and if it's just something these affluent people know about or it's accessible to everyone!
This is a great introduction and I do hope you will post more on the archives!
~ Courtney
Author's Response:Hi Courtney!
Good news! I finally got around to editing the next chapter, and it got posted! Within two months! It's a... February?? miracle!
So I thought about putting a prologue in before this chapter, but I think I'm not going to do that. I'm also really glad that you like Beatrice's point-of-view because you're going to be seeing this world through her eyes. I didn't want there to be a lot of info-dumping because it drags, you know? There will be a chapter that is mostly info-dumping, but I promise that it will make sense in-context (tbf, Beatrice likes infodumping about a certain topic).
It's not exactly accessible to everyone, but it's not just a rich people thing. There are people who can do magic and who can't. These four go to one of the more prestigious magical schools, but there are public and private magical schools. I just don't really have an excuse to show them. They'll get mentioned, and there will be a couple strictly-magical universities mentioned. Magic isn't exactly a secret to everyone, but not everyone can use it? I'm still not super firm on how much the average nonmagical person would know about magic, but I don't think it would come up that much in this.
You do not want to know how many times I had to rewrite the bit with the elevator. I am so glad you liked it because I felt like it was just kind of superfluous? And then I decided screw it, it's my original fiction, and I can put whatever little details I like in it. There are a lot of little details that have no impact on the plot and are just there because I like adding tiny worldbuilding things in, so I'm glad you enjoy them. I've been working on this world since, uh, 2009? 2010, so it's been built up a bit. Not a lot, seeing as I couldn't even finish a story in that time, but big things like the branches of magic and some of the more important things.
Ohohohohohoh, I'm glad you find that intriguing. I can't say any more because it'll spoil it, but that is basically the crux of this entire story. Also, I wanted to write a YA fantasy-mystery. You know, like you do.
I have been trying to come up with a Taylor reference (I saw what you did there) this entire review, but I haven't been able to think of one. Maybe I'm enchanted by this lovely review?
...Okay, that was cheesy, sorry. In my defense, it's late, and I am running on one braincell. But thank you for the wonderful review!
Thanks for stopping by, and have a nice day!
-A
Hello Robin!
I’m here for the Snowlodge/wishlist event and thought I would not only fulfill your wishlist request for having reviews on your story but also try and review something of yours as I’ve been meaning to! With that being said, onward to the review!
The start of this story has me quite intrigued considering that the main character is weaving in a dream or rather somebody in her dream who is her dream twin? Doppelganger? Something like that? There could be so many guesses as to why she’s weaving a magical blanket and what it could entail on what’s to come as well. The fact that the protagonist is watching her dreams unfold but cannot interfere definitely has me pondering as to whether this is something that she’s watching like a scene unfolding or it’s about something relating to her and possibly her future. A sign perhaps? Then again, these are just my own guesses and theories to start with. It's an interesting way to start the story so far!
From what I gathered reading about Beatrice, the main character, she is a marchioness and she is living with a very strict grandmother who sets many rules for her and she has to follow her ways if I’m not mistaken. Nonetheless from what I read about her, she does sound like a very interesting character who has to follow her grandmother’s rules, she not only has a mind of her own but she also tends to view the world that she lives in differently in a sense as well. This story also does seem like it takes place in a modern setting considering the way it’s narrated and there are things that indicate it’s more modern rather than, say, in the past.
It’s quite interesting that she ends up at the beach instead of being at one of the meetings talking about the laws or at least listening in, seeing as that’s something that she is expected to do but doesn’t want to do. The fact that she prefers misty over sunny days is quite enjoyable to read as I’m mostly the same way although I like both kinds of weather! The misty days do have its charms and it’s great that she’s able to see and appreciate it. The way you write about both the misty days to sunny days and how they contrast her is great too. I can definitely not only visualise it in my head yet also get a sense of understanding of her thoughts regarding the weather in general itself to help gain a sense of footing of the setting. I hope what I just said made sense. If not, just saying that even if it’s about the weather, it’s nice to get a sense of it and what it’s like there on Avalon island.
“Even the clouds were always perfectly shaped, like someone had hung cotton balls in the sky.” Oh for some reason, I genuinely enjoyed reading this! It’s not only descriptive but love that she sees the clouds as cotton balls! What a lovely way to describe it!
So Avalon island is magical then I take it? If so, it must be fascinating and wondrous to live there to somebody from the outside although it may seem too perfect that something could be off about it. As for Albion Island, even if it may not have magic as Beatrice says, it’s a pretty interesting contrast. The contrast one being a magical island while the other one is not.
The summer mansion does actually sound more like an elegant yet also interesting resort or at least one that you could live in! What with the garden that surrounds it and if it’s award winning then it’s probably filled with alot of flowers and other things that makes it pretty, a silver gazebo, unlimited Wi-Fi, food cooked by a chef who is probably renowned and fancy, a beautiful view of the sea, and even a possibly cute white cat! Desmonda sounds like a very fancy yet lovely name for the cat as well. Speaking of which, how much are we going to see Desmonda? Asking myself as a cat lover myself and it’s always great to see if the cats, fictitious or not, are featured no matter how big or small it is but I digress.
Cornelia, her grandmother, as I mentioned before does seem very strict and while I understand that she is in other parts of the story when she is despite not agreeing with her choices such as when she tries to get Beatrice’s hair cut or when she wants her to act like a lady and so on. That makes sense to me. Her telling Beatrice not to go on the beach feels somewhat off to me or as if she’s treating the beach as if it’s not part of the Summer mansion like her granddaughter is not going to go there. Does she not trust Beatrice when it comes to the beach? Could the beach hold a hidden danger that we don’t know about?
Okay honestly, what’s a good sleepover without at least a fancy meal as well as snacks. Separate of course! It sounds like they’re going to have a fun sleepover with food and wonder what Chef Rene is up to in terms of his cooking for them! I loved meeting Regina, Wendy, and Hannah and or at least getting to know about them through Beatrice’s descriptions about them, especially Hannah. So am I correct in guessing that Beatrice was more or less obligated or invited Regina because they had grown up knowing each other then?
It’s great to see that Beatrice also likes the Frog Queen and knows the story at the least. Despite the fact that Beatrice and Regina seem to have their disagreements or may not be as close, it’s great that they’re able to joke with one another. Hmm, the way Beatrice mentions that Regina’s beauty makes me ponder if she’s jealous or there’s something more to it. Wonder if these two will become closer as the story progresses despite them not being that close of friends. Since the rest of the sleepover wasn’t described like the foods they ate or what kind of movies they had watched before they fallen asleep, admittedly I am quite curious about the foods they ate and what movie they watched. Of course, I know it’s not important but are they the kind to watch horror movies and be able to sleep easily or did they watch Disney movies and things like that? But I digress again!
Ooh this dream sounds far creeper than the other one and is raising questions about who’s the girl running and the eyes that are watching the girl run. Questions like: Why is the girl running? What caused her to fall? What happened to her after the fall? So many questions, yes, but this is actually interesting! It’s understandable that Bea couldn’t sleep after that considering how scary it may be to her and it’s good that she has Hannah as company to chat with after not being able to go back to sleep. The little detail about Wendy snoring just reminds me of that one friend we all have that snores really loudly and loved that bit! The conversation between Bea and Hannah about the glowing of the gazebo–which leads me to ask–any information, history, or backstory about it and how it came to be? Apart from the security measures used with magic and being attached to the mansion, is there any other significance of the gazebo?--is interesting! Oh, and definitely can understand the stress of AP tests as well as SATs before having to take it! Okay maybe not AP tests because I never took AP courses but possibly SATs which makes the conversation take a realistic turn.
Anyway, I definitely enjoyed the start of this story and hope to see more of it unfold! There are so many questions including the ones that have been previously asked yet also some more that I won’t ask for the time being and rather let the story itself unfold. I also would like to learn more about Beatrice as well as Regina, Hannah, and Wendy as well as Avalon Island with its magic as well as Albion Academy and what happens when Beatrice and her grandmother and if Hannah will get to dance with Evan Draper and so much more! Definitely cannot wait for the next chapter! Great job!
Until then,
-Diana/Di
Author's Response:Hi, Di! Thanks for the review!
I was holding off on answering this review because it gave me a ton to think about, and I wanted to make sure I could answer your questions. The one thing I will say is that if I don't answer your question, it'll probably be answered in the fic and I don't want to spoil it. Except that yes, Avalon and Albion Island are both magical. In fact, they were created by magic.
I'm not sure how much we'll see Desdemona because Beatrice will be at school for a good part of the fic, but any time she's at the summer mansion, Desdemona is there. We might not see Desdemona all that often, but she's there. So I don't remember the name of the brand of cat food, but there's some cat food brand that has this cute little white cat with green eyes as the mascot, and that's how I picture Desdemona. She is also very spoiled and pretty much rules the summer mansion. Surprisingly, she's not actually my favorite character to write in this, despite being being an adorable cat.
It is set in present day. Ish. So it's vaguely set in 2013 because that was when I planned it, but it's honestly sometime between then and now. I don't think I'll be referencing any real-life contemporary events, but it's modern enough that they have smartphones and social media. This is part of a problem if I ever mention SAT scores, but tbh, I might just not mention what scores they get. I'm not sure if it'd be all that necessary in the story, but they'll be taking them.
Beatrice is the heir to her father, who is the head of the Council of Lords, so she's pretty much spent her whole life in the gilded cage that is the summer mansion. She's traveled a bit, but she is definitely very sheltered. She also has to be kept fairly safe, and Cornelia has her reasons for being overprotective.
I completely understand what you said about the weather. Funnily enough, I actually prefer kind of sunny days. I really liked that part of this chapter, and it was originally going to be a lot later in the fic! Instead, I basically moved it to the complete opposite, and I like it a lot better in this chapter. Beatrice gets a little solitude, and we get a chance to kind of live in her mind for a bit. Well, it's all first-person, so we'll be in her mind all the time, but this gives us a chance to just exist. Also, the clouds almost look exactly like cotton balls because they're a little warped by the magic. But I just think it's an adorable way to describe clouds!
Regina and Beatrice have a very interesting relationship. I won't talk too much about it here, but she was not an obligation invite. There are things that Regina, despite being the daughter of someone who sits at the Council of Lords like Beatrice's father, gets to do that Beatrice does, and vice versa. I do think that Beatrice is a little jealous of how Regina is charming, but Regina has her own jealousy in regard to Beatrice. Their relationship is actually very interesting to write, and you'll see more of it. That being said, Beatrice and Wendy are the closest of these four, and it's very much a group of Beatrice's friends rather than being a super closeknit group of four. There are two of Beatrice's friends that don't show up in this chapter, but you'll see them soon. Their dynamics with the rest of the group kind of smooth out things like Beatrice and Regina, and there is a lot of interplay with where everyone is in the magical society that I think gets explained.
The gazebo is a surprise tool that will help us later, and everything you asked about for it will be answered. That is absolutely all I will say about it.
AP tests absolutely suck. I do not recommend them, nor the SAT. They're juniors in high school, so at least they don't have to deal with college applications just yet. I think they might prefer the AP tests to the SAT, but just barely.
You will learn about all of them! I didn't want to bog this chapter down more than it already was, but a good part of this fic is learning about Beatrice and her friends. As for Hannah and Evan... Well, you'll have to read the next chapter! ;p
I feel like I missed some questions, but I think everything in this review will be answered by the end of the fic. If not, please ask me because I will tell you so much about this. Seriously. I am having a problem with not infodumping because of all of the worldbuilding I did.
Thanks for stopping by, and I hope you have a lovely day!
-A
Happy snowlodge season!
Magic and royalty (and set in the US) and modern??? What a wonderful setting to introduce us to!
Beatrice's narrative is delightful and engaging to read, and all the bits of pieces we see in this chapter that start to form a picture of her as a person -- outside just her title and position and the parameters set out for her by her grandmother. Like the fact that she likes the island when it's grey and misty, and how it looks too perfect from magic when it's bright. And how she wants to actually learn and understand how the Council works and their laws.
Starting out with the dream was such a great hook and I definitely want to know more. I also really especially loved this:
I would never have gotten all dressed up in my best colonial cosplay to weave what looked like what happened when someone took the Golden Fleece and decided to make it into a blanket. I was allergic to wool, first of all, and the only kind of fiber craft I could muddle my way through was embroidery.
Omg all of that just struck me as so clever and funny. <3
Melanie
Author's Response:Hi, Melanie! Thanks for stopping by!
I was so concerned about infodumping in this fic, especially with the worldbuilding and it being in first person, but I came up with a solution: Beatrice just likes to infodump. On everyone. Just wait until you get to hear about her favorite branch of magic.
The next chapter will, once I finish it, delve a bit more into the magic, but you might have to wait on the royalty. A bit. It's sprinkled, and there are parts that will be more royalty and less school. There's always magic, though. An interesting tidbit is that this was slightly inspired by the first season of the Crown. Well, the second episode of the Crown. Beatrice is somewhat in the same position as Elizabeth was growing up, but there are a few twists. There's also no abdication, but her uncle is... interesting.
Fun fact: that section almost got cut. I was concerned that it was a little too immature, especially with how Beatrice tries to have this air of elegance (and completely fails), but I was way too proud of the Golden Fleece blanket. I am really glad you like it.
I am working on the next chapter (it's almost finished! ...well, except for a large chunk in the middle), so I hope you'll be able to read it soon! There's a character who I think you'll really like, and he'll be there. Having said that, it probably won't be posted until, like, March. But I can hope!
Thank you for stopping by, and I hope you have a lovely day!
-A
Ohohhhh hi!! I saw this on the archives when scrolling through, and I was intrigued.
I love dreams as a plot device, it alwasy sucks me in. And your synopsis also drew me in! I'm definitely interested in which one of the friends go missing, what the gazebo has to do with anything, and how her ascencion eventually goes :)
The way you mix magical and realism make me so happy, it's one of my favorite genres. I also can still hear your voice from your other works, which is so exciting!
Can't wait to hear more
Cat :)
Author's Response:Hi, Cat!
I am actually so nervous about this one. I know it was my Nano project, but I didn't get a lot of coherent chapters done during Nano, if that makes any sense. I'm going back and editing them and making them actual chapters instead of messy chunks of story, and I started posting it to kind of make myself edit it. I definitely didn't mean to make this such a cliffhanger, but, uh, it was Thanksgiving and now it's Christmas, and I'm hoping to get that chapter done by maybe?? New Year's? Knowing my luck, it'll be, like, the Ides of March.
I really like low fantasy, especially writing it. I don't think we'll see a lot of the 'real world' in this, as it's mostly set on the islands, so there will be a lot of magic. Like, so much. I'm still ironing out some of the worldbuilding, but there will be a lot of magic, along with a fair bit of mystery. I really like mysteries, actually, and I'm hoping that this one will be a mystery that people might? be able to solve before Beatrice? I don't want to make it too easy, but I'm hoping that people like the clues that will be there.
I was so concerned about voice, so I'm glad that it kind of came through! I did try writing this in third person, but it just felt weird? I don't know how to explain it, but I don't think this could be in third person. Well, except for the prologue I'm still not sure if I want to put in. I don't think I will because it just didn't fit. This isn't the only thing I've written in first person, but I think it's probably the only one I'll publish on here, unless I get a really good idea. I used to write everything in first person, but I've gone more third person to try to make myself not rely so much on dialogue. We'll see how well that works in this.
Ohohohohohohohohoh, I'm looking forward to you finding those things out. I am working on this, I swear, and I will say that one of those questions gets answered in the next chapter. But one of those questions won't be answered at all in this fic. Also, you get to meet my favorite character in the next chapter, and I think you'll like a few of the characters we meet there.
Thanks for stopping by, and I hope you have a lovely day!
-A
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