We are Netrophil. You cannot stop us. You cannot find us. We are just like you.

There have been rumours of Pandora Haze, a technology company working with the government, creating a way to control humans. There have been rumours of suspicious tests in genetics laboratories all over the country. There have been death threats and bombings and fires and, once or twice, a few mostly-accidental murders. Netrophil is the group responsible. Unfortunately, it mostly consists of university students who don't understand the dangers. This is the story of how Janine attempts to lead a cell of revolutionaries who are, let's be honest, more interested in whether she's having sex with Sara Smith than the destruction of humanity.

Or, the one where all your faves are part of Netrophil.

In which there is Jewish geography, unreasonable amounts of fried food, underage gambling and Maxine successfully does not set anything on fire. Hanukkah at the Cohens' is not really something you can be prepared for in advance.

It turns out Owen isn’t Australian at all – only pretending. He can only last so long before the jig is up.

Wherein Sam fails to explain the Muggle concept of 'zombies', Jack has a boyfriend (he's in Canada) and Maxine loses a game of gobstones on purpose.