Name: Crimson Quill (Signed) · Date: 01 Dec 2018 04:54 PM · For: Prologue: A New Dark Lord

 

Hey Kaitlin!

 

I'm here for Kristin's request in pass the parcel game.

 

I think the idea of this piece is so unique, I don't like AU too much but I think this storyline is so promising. I don't know if you're planning on writing more as this is marked as 'complete' but I think it works as either. I'm hoping we get more of your writing though :P

 

I think the characterisation of Bellatrix was really good. I think that she is a different character to get right but I love the range of emotions that you've shown hear in this chapter. I think it makes sense that she would be feel fear or even sad that her master was gone but she seems to cope just fine. I thought it was amazing that she is so ruthless. I thought the part when Harry comes back to life was amazing, you think that he is coming back to save the day but nope! Bellatrix is cold.

 

It is interesting that Lucius is also dead, she really doesn't take any prisoners, this piece is chilling to even think of a life when Bellatrix is the leader. There is some great description in this piece too, I think that you've done a amazing job at painting a really vivid picture of the situation. the description of the bodies was especially effective. 

 

I think my fave bit is the last bit. "Challenge my authority again and Draco will be next." It just gets you thinking what won't she do? how far is too far for her? She is fierce and with the elder wand? unstoppable. 

 

- Abbi xo

 

 

Name: Stella Blue (Signed) · Date: 22 Nov 2018 10:39 AM · For: Prologue: A New Dark Lord

Here for our review swap! Omg. This is so good. I have never read anything quite like this before, and honestly I love Bellatrix as a character so I just had to see what you'd do with this! I think, as you wrote, it's very natural that Bellatrix would want to pick up where Voldemort left off and take charge. From what we see of her here, I think you did great job with her characterization as well.

 

And like, even though I'm sad that Harry died, I also think that if Bellatrix had been in charge all along it totally wouldn't have taken 7 books for them to accomplish their goal of killing Harry. Voldemort really was an incompetent wizard with a flair for dramatism and then Bella just Avada Kedavra's him in one minute, I mean, granted, he's not in top form as he's collapsed on the ground, but. What I'm saying is that Bellatrix is already a more efficient Dark Lord. But, I am curious how this will play out over time, bc even if she is better at accomplishing things, I think she is also more unhinged than Voldemort and more susceptible to cracking later on, and just, this is a facinating story idea and I can't wait to see where you take it.

 

Right from the beginning though, shse seems to fall into the same trap that ultimately was Voldemort's downfall, in leading through fear and ignoring the impact that love has on people's lives. Her vengeful killing of Lucius Malfoy for disrespecting her is, I think, ultimately going to be very important in Narcissa's decisions later on. I don't think Narcissa will stay with the Death Eaters, and I think after that, Bellatrix is dead to Narcissa. I always got the feeling Lucius was more into the Death Eater cause than Narcissa was, but idk maybe I'm projecting my own headcanon on at this point - anyway I think you have a very interesting set up with a lot of potential for later on and I'm really interested to see how this impacts the Black sisters, and to an extent the rest of the Death Eaters as well, if they will be content to follow her.

 

This is so good! I'm really glad you asked for a swap with this story.

Author's Response:

Thank you so much for this absolutely beautiful review. I hope you know how much I appreciate your words of encouragement! They seriously make me smile every time. ~Kaitlin

 

Name: StarFeather (Anonymous) · Date: 22 Nov 2018 10:12 AM · For: Prologue: A New Dark Lord

Hi, Kaitlin. I noticed you wrote 130 stories. Oh my gosh! You are a super woman, always. Besides you had Harry die. No, no, no, our hero must live. All fans will be stunned by this AU, which means you did great. Your story challenge made a success.

 

Especially, you have talent in describing the witch who has no mercy. She was written as such a cruel and merciless woman. On the contrary, Lucius had space for feeling pity for Harry who coughed after Bellatrix had thought he was dead. If only Lucius was wise enough not to show his disrespect towards his sister-in-law. Alas, his careless words made her furious and as the result, he was killed by her.

 

You expressed how weak people were in front of a tyrant who got power. The other Death Eaters were seen like dogs for Bellatrix, which is terrific, Kaitlin.

 

I feel for Harry's best friends and Ginny. So sad while I imagine their grieving their Harry's death. Will you update this soon? I am curious to know how you will develop this chapter to the next. My guess is Narcissa will revenge in the end.

Thank you for review swap.

 

K

 

Name: Dojh167 (Signed) · Date: 07 May 2017 02:20 PM · For: Prologue: A New Dark Lord

You've marked this story as Completed here. Does that mean you're not still planning to come back and complete it? Please tell me that's a mistake, because I want more!

 

Transferred from HPFF:

 

Hufflepuff CtF Review

It’s funny - with mothe authors I’d rather start a oneshot over a just begun WIP,but with you it’s almost the opposite, because I want to help encourage you to work on your WIPs! (Yes Chef and Determination, by the way….)

I also love Bellatrix, so I’m excited to see what you do with her in this alternate universe =)

Oh wow, what an incredibly bold AU way to start a story, with the bodies of Harry and Voldemort in the first paragraph! It’s also super effective in right away telling the reader when this story is set and what is different from the canon universe. I love it and my attention is super hooked!

I also like that right away you poke at the complexity in Bellatrix’s position. She believed Voldemort was invincible, and that’s what made her feel invincible. Without that certainty, how will she be different in this story?

I like the contrast of the reverence paid to Voldemort’s body and the distinct lack thereof to Harry’s.

It’s really too bad. Harry really believed that his death would be worth it if it brought down Voldemort, but even that wasn’t enough. It’s interesting how Bellatrix twists the situation into a mirror of that, making Voldemort’s death a sacrifice to achieve the larger end of Harry’s death.

Lucius Snark Malfoy, already a thorn in Bellatrix’s side.

Woah for a second there I thought Harry was going to come back to lead a new resistance against Bellatrix but nope, he gets to die twice tonight.

Lucius Snark Malfoy, no longer a thorn in Bellatrix’s side. XD

So much for family. I am really curious where this will but Narcissa.

Wheee I’m really interested in thi. I didn’t expect it to focus on Bellatrix’s perspective, and I really like that it does (and hope that future chapters do as well). We get a big exciting war story plus Bellatrix is the main character. I love!

Yes, I will definitely be nagging you for more of this ;)

Sam.

Name: Ineke (Signed) · Date: 29 Apr 2017 09:15 PM · For: Prologue: A New Dark Lord

here for ctf!

 

HERE YOU ARE. GOING LIKE HARRY COUGHED AND WASN'T DEAD AFTER ALL AND THEN OF COURSE YOU HAD TO BREAK MY HEART. LIKE. WHY DON'T YOU? This is ridiculously unfair and I'm sitting here RAGING because you did this to me and HONESTLY WHY DID YOU HAVE TO DO THIS TO ME? Like. Boohoo that Voldemort is dead. No waste in killing Lucius there either. BUT DID YOU HAVE TO DO IT WITH HARRY AND THEN BREAK HIS BONES TOO WHILE YOU WERE AT IT BECAUSE KILLING HIM WASN'T CRUEL ENOUGH AS IT WAS ALREADY?

But then again you did write Bellatrix so I should've suspected it, especially since what Lucius said was quite tame as it was.

BUT STILL KAITLIN. WHY?

I'm just. Totally not okay here. Like seriously not okay. You're almost throwing me off my game here and this is absolutely not what I need because pride y'know?

And then she also wants to go for Draco, BECAUSE HE HASN'T SUFFERED ENOUGH YET? And poor Narcissa. DOESN'T SHE HAVE ANY GRAIN OF MERCY IN HER BODY FOR HER SISTER? I can only imagine what she's going through and my god Kaitlin. Seriously. I hate you for this fic. For a multitude of reasons here. This is just. Ugh. No. Not okay.

Author's Response:

Hey there! Thank you so much for the review! It truly made my day! I wish I could write you a longer response, but I've gotten so bogged down in review responses lately. I hope you know how much your words mean to me and how much I appreciate your support, encouragement, and critique. Thank you!

~Kaitlin

 

Name: WindingArrow (Signed) · Date: 29 Apr 2017 08:39 PM · For: Prologue: A New Dark Lord

CTF!

 

Well, sheesh! What a way to kick off a story! And a wise way, too, for Bella. Always double tap. *nod nod* It's the same in the wizarding world as with zombies.

 

Anyway, I have to jump right to the end here to say that the last quote to Narcissa was absolutely chilling. It's the perfect example of a true Death Eater, one who would threaten and kill their own family to hold onto power. It's honestly quite terrifying, that sort of single-minded power mongering. But if anyone is going to do it, it would be Bella. And I can totally see her being more sentimental over Voldemort's death than even caring about her sister's family. It honestly quite shocked me that she threatened Draco's life but then I thought... Nope, sounds like Bella!

 

And the brutality of killing Harry a second time! Holy crap! Into a freaking TREE. I was wondering, at first, what you were going to do there since he came back in canon and, well, got my answer, I suppose. I do wonder, though, how Voldemort died because didn't Harry not put up a fight? Did Voldemort, in essence, commit suicide by killing the horcrux he made inside Harry? That will keep my head spinning for a while.

 

But fear not, lil' Bella! There's still Nagini!!!

 

Anyway, I hope you update on time because I want more of this!

 

-Liz

Author's Response:

Hey there! Thank you so much for the review! It truly made my day! I wish I could write you a longer response, but I've gotten so bogged down in review responses lately. I hope you know how much your words mean to me and how much I appreciate your support, encouragement, and critique. Thank you!

~Kaitlin