Name: Oregonian (Signed) · Date: 16 Apr 2019 12:32 AM · For: The Ultimate Decision

For the Slytherin April EvS Review Battle, Team Emerald

 

Hi Deana,

 

First off, I have to say that what I like most about this story is that it is different from most other stories that are posted in this archive.  It is rare to see a story about Percy Weasley trying to make his way within the Ministry during the dark days of Voldemort's takeover.  I can think of one other, on another site, written in October of 2103.  And yet there's huge scope for Percy-in-the-Ministry stories.

 

You have captured Percy's personality well -- his insecurity and self-doubt, his huge need to prove himself and win admiration, his naïvete, his ambition, his alienation from his family, his craving for order and security.  It's all there.

 

You have also captured Pius Thicknesse's feet of clay, Voldemort's cunning, and Percy's ulltimate terror.  And I like your use of details in the horrifying scene in the dingy pub, where Percy is first allured and then trapped.  You have left us with a cliffhanger -- what in the world will Percy do now?

 

I see that you last updated this story in May of 2017, and you seem to be working mainly on your Draco story, "Love, Not War."  It would be a shame never to come back to this story and let us know how Percy gets out of this!

 

Good job.  Thank you for writing.

Vicki

Name: potionspartner (Signed) · Date: 22 Dec 2018 07:43 PM · For: The Ultimate Decision

This is a great investigation into Percy Weasley's character and I think you've nailed him. 

Albert Einstin once said, “Blind belief in authority is the greatest enemy of truth.” Percy is such an example. He's so bent on rules and organization that he completely lacks ideals and meaning. Hence he's the perfect beaurocrat, following orders blindly. He is so clueless, has used his brain so little that the doesn't consider why Pius is part of a secret organization or why it's meeting in Knockturn Alley. 

What is most interesting is how he starts to have independent thought but then misuses it so wrongly. As he listens to Voldemort, he begins to question. He notes that he has the unique ability to see the war from multiple perspectives. . . and then he just blindly follows the other side. 

His audacity with Voldemort is considered as courage but I would classify it more has self-center brashness. Percy really considers himself so important that he's attempting to negotiate with the wizard. 

It some ways, it's a scary reflection of many in our society's views. 

I haven't yet finished Love, Not War yet but I hope Percy finally sees sense. . . and earns a proper consequence for his stupidity. 

Name: 800 words of heaven (Signed) · Date: 31 Mar 2018 01:12 AM · For: The Ultimate Encounter

*Transferred from HPFF*

 

SLYTHERIN REVIEW TAG.

 

Ooh. I am excited about this Percy Weasley AU! He's such an interesting character who's rarely written about, so I'm excited to see where you take him and this story. Is he going to become a spy for the Order of the Phoenix? In the first few paragraphs I've read so far, I think this is unlikely, so I'm guessing he's going to become a Death Eater. Death Eater Percy Weasley is a character I can get behind!

 

I like how you've really emphasised just how loyal Percy is. For me, that's his defining Gryffindor trait, and I'm glad to see it playing such a strong role so far in the story, even if it is for someone whom I don't particularly like.

 

Describing Percy's ego as "delicate" is just so perfect. Yes, that's exactly what it is. Another defining Gryffindor trait, I think.

 

Yesss! I called it! DEATH EATER PERCY WEASLEY YAAASSS!

 

And omg he's already meeting Voldemort? Well, wasn't that fast?

 

This is an incredibly intriguing first chapter with an even more intriguing premise. Well done!

Name: Rumpelstiltskin (Signed) · Date: 29 Aug 2017 10:04 PM · For: The Ultimate Encounter

Hello!  I'm here for the August Slytherin Hot Seat!

I do feel bad for Percy.  He had all of these good intentions and stuck to what he truly believed was right, and it all fell apart in front of him.  I do like how you led into the story with things that appeal to Percy (namely order, loyalty, respect, and rules), and then started to show how Thickneese was able to use these things to manipulate Percy.  That was a really smart move to reveal his personality to the readers in order to justify his actions.

I loved Percy's reaction to the realization that he was, indeed at a Death Eater's meeting, with Lord Voldemort present, to boot.  What I loved more was your continued use of Percy's pre-established personality to lend to the idea of Percy actually enjoying Voldemort and (most of) his ideas, because they fit his personality.  I'm assuming those grandeur promises is what drove a large portion of Voldemort's followers to become Death Eater's in the first place, and it makes sense that Percy can see the appeal in them.

With the ideas that Voldemort proposed in combination with Thicknesse's, I wouldn't doubt if Percy did want to become a Death Eater (if only at first).  I would also be terrified if Voldemort wanted to speak to me -- good luck, Percy!

Overall, I found this a fun AU (and I love AUs), that was nicely written and flowed very well.  There wasn't a point where a found a natural pause that could take my attention away from it, which was great!  Also, it left me with SO many questions about what happened to Percy and what Voldemort wanted to speak with him about.

Fantastic job!  

-Rumpels