Name: Rumpelstiltskin (Signed) · Date: 16 Dec 2017 10:43 PM · For: Chapter 1

Hello!

 

First of all, I love that this doesn't follow a linear storyline--that is absolutely amazing and I love fics that experiment like this. With the use of second person for Sirius as he watches Remus, everything is completely adorable and squee-worthy. I think the placement of Scene III preceding Scene I worked really well as it flashes back to the first time Sirius feels attracted to Remus--it's a flawless effort (and your imagery is amazing in this, to boot, mixed into the narrative without becoming bulky chunks, so thanks for  that). Plus, the briefest of uncertain kisses was really sweet, I love that they're so tentative and unsure for their first kiss--a peck, rather. It's really suitable for them as you've portrayed them, here.  This really ends rather sweetly, and I absolutely love it! I really love the image of the lightning, thunder, and rain working together as Remus and Sirius are preparing to take on the world. In a way, that must act as foreshadowing to their foreboding and saddening future as they continue in their unaware bliss. 

 

Lovely job!

 

-Rumpels

Author's Response:

Hi!

I'm glad you enjoyed the non-linear time! I remember when I wrote this several years ago now, it was all the rage and I was desperate to try it. Same with the second person, this was my first attempt and it got me totally hooked. I'm such a big Sirius/Remus fan, so I'm so glad you enjoyed this!! I find the only way I can write the marauders is to write these brief moments of happiness where everything is still fine, and try to forget what we all know comes later.

I'm so glad you enjoyed it! Thanks so much for the lovely review <3