Name: StarFeather (Anonymous) · Date: 21 Oct 2017 06:20 AM · For: Chapter 1

I'm very impressed by your deep insight about Luna's pain after the war. It was possible her father might have been dead considering the situation he was targeted for publishing newspapers supporting Harry Potter. Since only relative, her father died, she must have suffered from PTSD.

 

It was lucky she had a real friend like Ginny. You captured her existence for Luna very naturally, she might have always been her comfort. We are also relieved to see McGonagall was supporting Luna as well. Even ten years has passed, Their friendship is forever. Thank you for sharing a beautiful piece of your works,Pixie. Let's do review swap again.

Name: Margaret (Signed) · Date: 18 Dec 2016 10:48 AM · For: Chapter 1

Here for the Christmas gift exchange.

 

I do love Luna. She is so original and individual.

 

I LOVE your opening. The short sentences really give a sense of the situation, of how everything is uncertain and confused. And the part about the dead being like statues is such a brilliant image. You are really good at imagery.

 

And OH, Xenophilius is dead. Poor poor Luna. She's already lost one parent. To lose both must be really terrible. I really like the way you portray her feelings. The difference between her outward reaction and her inner one is very realistic and gives a depth to the story.

 

Aw, it's sweet of Ginny to ask how Luna is when her own brother has just died. And it is quite sad how Luna thinks of her as the only classmate who cares about her.

 

And another brilliant image - those shards of glass. You really are great at imagery.

 

Ireland has been commemorating the centenary of the 1916 Rising this year, but of course, a centenary is different as none of those who actually took part are still alive.

 

Aw, that's so sad that she doesn't think she deserves the medal.

 

And I'm glad that Rolf made her feel better and that she finally found somebody who cared about the same things she does.

 

Yikes, the idea of her having a nervous breakdown...that makes what she did during the war even more amazing. Her reaction to being captured in the war was so strong and if she was already dealing with issues even before being captured, it makes her optimism then even more striking.

 

I also like the way you point out that her recovery had to be slow. So many writers have characters recover from trauma or mental illness almost immediately and it's rarely that easy. This is much more realistic.

 

The ending of this story is SO well written too.

 

You are a really good writer; you know that. This is a REALLY well written story.

Name: cambangst (Signed) · Date: 02 Nov 2016 12:08 PM · For: Chapter 1

OK, who can resist putting themselves into Luna's shoes? First off, based on her sense of style, they're probably really unique shoes. A few sizes too small for me, but we're imagining...

I really like your premise. One of the things that is most often missing from post-war stories is the massive psychological turmoil that all of the survivors must have felt. The shock, the grief, the survivor's guilt... it must have been overwhelming for a lot of them. Luna saw so much suffering and death during the war, as well as being held prisoner at Malfoy Manor. All of that had to have taken a toll.

Her response to the end of the war was something of a divergence from her book characterization, but I didn't struggle to go with it. Luna does what makes sense to Luna. She marches to her own drumbeat. If leaving felt like the obvious thing to do, she wouldn't have wasted any time worrying about the consequences.

Returning must have been a horribly difficult decision, although I agree with Rolf that it was time. There was a nice sort of continuity between Ginny's role in the first half of the story and her role upon Luna's return. It fit together well.

It's heart-warming to see that she's starting to heal. She definitely deserved that chance.

I noticed a small typo while I was reading:

 

Helped you realise that to fully make peace with the pain that still resides in you heart and throbs every day -- in your heart

 

Also, if Luna fled immediately after the battle, she would have spent six years at Hogwarts, not seven.

 

Aside from that, very well written. It was a nice, easy read and your writing flowed nicely. You chose your words well and nothing felt jarring or out of place. Well done!

Author's Response:

Hi Dan!

rofl on the shoes! Yes, I'm not sure they would fit you or even remotely suit you in style haha.

I'm glad you liked the beginning, when I first began writing over on the graveyard I read several stories that just like, created an immediate world of what their lives would have been like already without Voldemort, anddidn't mention the mental part of recovery, which as someone with now diagnosed mental health issues is a big deal for me - they're often forgotten in media/literature and I just want to bring a light to that, even if it's just in my little niche of the internet.

Honestly, coming back and reading this piece makes me cringe in areas with my word choice and plot things that don't make sense to me now (rewrite time me thinks!), but I'm glad you liked it! 13 yr old me was very proud of it!

Sorry for taking so long to respond,

Hayden

xx