Name: cambangst (Signed) · Date: 20 Nov 2019 05:17 PM · For: Chapter 1: A Shadowy Threat

Hi, Kaitlin! I'm having a blast, migrating old reviews today. Here's one from 2015:

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Ooh, a mystery! And it involves the canon characters, post-war. Two of my favorite things!

 

I think you did a good job of capturing the concern McGonagall would have felt in this situation. She's just spent the past five years putting the Hogwarts "family" back together after a horrific and deeply divisive war. If someone is actually planning revenge attacks against pureblood families, it could destroy the peace and stability that everyone fought the war to achieve in the first place. I thought Minerva's dialog was pretty good, although it could have been a little stiffer in a few places.

 

I found Kingsley's reactions a little harder to get my head around. If he's just finished presiding over a series of trials filled with nightmarish stories of atrocities committed by the Death Eaters, I would have thought that he'd be a lot less dismissive of the possibility that someone was trying to rekindle hostilities. Especially if it involved revenge attacks, because I think that would have been a foreseeable outcome.

 

You wrote the action in Kingsley's office pretty well. It was easy to visualize everything that was going on in spite of the fact that it all happened quickly.

 

The only concrete suggestion I could offer is that I would have preferred that you created at least one or two original characters for your conspirators. There's nothing wrong with using canon names of relatively unknown characters, but when you use them exclusively then what little we know of their back stories can paint you into a corner sometimes. Original characters give you lots of freedom to develop a back story and grow and evolve the characters' personalities.

 

All that said, you did a good job with this and I'm curious to see what happens next. Good job!

 

Author's Response:

Hey Dan! 

Thank you so much for this original review and for shifting it over to here from the old site. Your reviews always make me smile and this one is no different. 

~Kaitlin

Name: StarFeather (Anonymous) · Date: 03 Jun 2017 08:59 PM · For: Chapter 1: A Shadowy Threat

Hi, Kaitlin, this review is not only transferring reviews from the previous site. My request is to continue this story for my story challege "Auror's Tale Season 3" story challenge at hpft! (I know you are busy here and there, so I don't pester you.  :D)

Here's my old very short review. " 

Hi, I dropped by from forums. OMG, it's a great start of the story full of mystrery, I like that. Readers can enjoy happy and quiet newly married couple's life of Harry and Ginny and they are hooked by your splendid mystery. I like the part, Harry's weeping in his mind reminiscing about who could join their party if there was no war, 'Dumbledore and Snape might have sat here as well, lost in conversation about the things going on in the world'."

Pasting this, I realized, there was no mention about Ginny and Harry. Did you edit the first chapter?

 

I'm very impressed by the first description. I remembered J.K.Rowling started the first book with Minerva and Dumbledore. I found the similar point in your writing the conversation between Minerva and Kingsly. I like the scene she and Kingsly drink a healthy potion of firewhisky and talking about the young people's nightmare. I feel her love for her students.

 

Kaitlin, I like this plot, some Pureblood families who were not the Death Eaters are attacked. Readers will be hooked with your story more.

 

Oh, no, what are they up to?   

 

I need to set the thread, "Very Promising Auror's Tale Multi-chaptered story" on the forums.

 

I'll be back after transferring some for the members.

 

Kenny

Author's Response:

Hey Kenny! 

 

Thank you for the review transfer! That's very kind of you. 

 

I'm glad you enjoyed this chapter! Nope, no edits to it. Ginny and Harry show up in the next chapter.

 

Hopefully, once I get settled back in I'll be able to get back to writing this soon.

 

Thanks! 

 

~Kaitlin

Name: Ineke (Signed) · Date: 29 Apr 2017 09:58 PM · For: Chapter 1: A Shadowy Threat

Here for CTF!

 

I hate you so much right now.

 

Why is it that Ravenclaws are doing such thing? Why do you write a story where such an Innocent House like that is doing stuff like that with impersonating McGonagall and Kingsley and all that and just remove all kinds of amazing people and be a threat in the first place? Just why would you do such thing? It makes absolutely no sense to me and I'm sure you're going like that I just have to read on but at the moment I'm just sitting here feeling utterly betrayed and I can hear you laughing already.

 

And then Kingsley not looking into things because his hands are tied and isn't he the Minister who can change things and make things happen and just get things done because honestly Ernie is so devoted i can't even see him taking a vacation in the first place because he's such a hard worker it doesn't make sense at all. And then we have our dear McG stepping in to try and talk sense into him and then still and then THE MOMENT OF BETRAYAL HAPPENS and I just. Ugh.

 

Besides the fact they must totally be trained to pull it of so fast BUT STILL WHY WOULD THEY DO IT IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE ESPECIALLY BECAUSE THEY FOUGHT AGAINST EVIL AND THEN THEY BECOME A THREAT? WHY KAITLIN? WHY?

 

I'm just. Sad now.

Author's Response:

Hey Ineke! 

 

Thank you for the review! I'm sorry that my story made you sad though. 

 

To be honest, the Claws aren't exactly black and white bad guys here. It's sort of a grey area and as the story continues on, answers will come. 

 

Yes, Kingsley is the minister, but as with most political systems, power is divided between the different segments of government and has to capitulate somewhat to the demands of the public. That's why his hands are tied.

 

I hope you come back and read more. Maybe it'll make more sense as you go.

 

~Kaitlin

Name: AbraxanUnicorn (Signed) · Date: 29 Apr 2017 09:44 PM · For: Chapter 1: A Shadowy Threat

Hello again, Kaitlin!

It must be not long after the war that this story is set, given that Kingsley appears to be in some sort of charge, and the Death Eater trials have just finished. I must admit; I thought the Death Eaters would be getting banished rather than being used as some form of punishment for the wrong-doers. I don't know; soul-sucking is capital punishment, or worse than, if one's soul is lost forever and the after-life permanently denied. I kind of hoped the "good" side wouldn't stoop so low as to kill/harm the convicted in this way. I thought they would show them more leniency. It makes the good side no better than the bad side, if I'm being honest. Anyway, I digress. I am not surprised in the slightest that Kingsley finds all this a bit abhorrent and has trouble sleeping at night.

It's understandable that there would be some backlash against the pureblood societes, for the atrocities committed by those purporting to represent them, but this is very sinister stuff if threatening graffiti has been sprayed on a Zabini house and the MacMillan family have gone missing. I wonder whether they left out of choice, or were forced out by neighbours, or, even worse, have been abducted? I definitely think Kingsley needs to take this seriously; he seems a bit too calm about it all for my liking. Yikes.

Ooh, what a dastardly band of ex-Ravenclaws they are, Michael Corner and his cronies. What on earth do they have up their sleeves? Why would they risk breaking into Kingsley's office with the aim of impersonating, Stunning and then kidnapping him and Minerva McGonagall? I'm assuming something terrible is about to happen to both of them, but then, why go to the bother of kidnap? Why not just kill them? Unless they need reinforcements long-term for polyjuice potion. Six months in planning - it's got to be something on quite a huge scale.

Exciting!! Even if the flag isn't in this story, I'm definitely returning to finish it :)

Brax X



 

Author's Response:

Hey Brax! 

 

So I based my premise for the retaliation and capital punishment in the backlash that has been seen worldwide post-bloody wars. Sadly, often the good side gets caught up in the need for revenge and things can go badly if it isn't reigned in. This is the scenario I'm painting here.

 

I can't say too much about your questions without really giving away more of the story, but you're on the right track. I don't know if I'd necessarily call the Ravenclaws dasterdly as much as wounded and seeking revenge. 

 

Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it.

 

~Kaitlin

Author's Response:

Hey Brax! 

 

So I based my premise for the retaliation and capital punishment in the backlash that has been seen worldwide post-bloody wars. Sadly, often the good side gets caught up in the need for revenge and things can go badly if it isn't reigned in. This is the scenario I'm painting here.

 

I can't say too much about your questions without really giving away more of the story, but you're on the right track. I don't know if I'd necessarily call the Ravenclaws dasterdly as much as wounded and seeking revenge. 

 

Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it.

 

~Kaitlin