Name: TreacleTart (Signed) · Date: 05 Dec 2018 06:22 PM · For: Forbidden

Hey Kevin!

 

I'm here to leave a review for the Gryffindor Red Vs. Gold Review Battle for December 2018! Go team red!

 

Ooh. A next gen story. I didn't realize you ever wrote next gen. I thought you were all Hogwarts, Rebuilding, and Marauder era. I'm pretty excited to see what you do with this!

 

Poor Scorpius. It seems like almost everything I've read with him features him getting bullied or tormented. In this case, it seems pretty severe. His hand is so damaged that he can't use it and he has other injuries. Definitely not good. I wonder why the professors are letting it happen. 

 

I'm glad Scorpius has a couple friends who care enough to help him. I do think he's being unfair to Collette though. She's worried and trying to help him and he's treating her like she caused his problems. Maybe her crush is what is making him feel a bit awkward about talking to her.

 

Oh, so he has a crush on Rose? This sure seems to be the popular ship. I guess it's sort of like the Dramione wish fulfillment most people never got, but I digress. I like how you built the interactions between them. The conversation at the party seems very natural and I can definitely see Scorpius trying to play it cool. I got the distinct impression that Rose was equally as interested.

 

Uh oh. And then Scorpius gets jumped again, but you still haven't said by who. I have my suspicions though. I liked the convo he and Rose have in the morning. I'm glad they finally cleared things up with each other. I do hope at some point that Albus and James come to realize that Scorpius is not Draco. I love the idea of Rose having a friend write to Ginny to let them know what's going on. I doubt either she or Harry will tolerate that nonsense.

 

Overall, I thought this was well-written and cute. My only bit of criticism is that I'd have maybe liked a bit more of your own spin on it as it does follow most of the most common tropes for next-gen.

 

Good work!

 

~Kaitlin

Author's Response:

Hello Kaitlin and welcome to my rarely-ventured-into era.

 

Thanks for stopping by this bit of coal in the rough. :p You are absolutely correct about the attackers being James and Albus. I did want to avoid the sort of jovial nature of how they're typically characterized in Next Gen fics I've read involving Scorose - mostly bluster. I considered how it was theoretically possible for them to go in that direction even with Harry and Ginny as parents because they didn't have to live the lives of their parents and were more comfortable and - being Potter boys - could have had the James (I)-gene for bullying. Based on the epilogue I don't think that's likely true of Albus, but...it's the direction I went anyway.

 

You're definitely right about the interactions between Scorpius and Collette and Scorpius and Rose. He's definitely unfair to Collette and it is because she's interested in more than friendship and he knows it. He certainly appreciates her and outside of this context, I see him as a good friend to her, but her feelings and his feelings for Rose collide in Scorpius's mind, the results can be volatile. On the Rose side of things, while he's obviously nervous about James and Albus, he's also nervous, yet trying to play it off with Rose because he doesn't think that she'd ever feel the same - though as you note from the conversation, she definitely does.

 

Ultimately you nailed the major part of why I don't get into Next Gen. This is probably the only story I've written that focuses on the most popular Next Gen characters in a "typical" sense and it's definitely from back in a time where I was more concerned about reads than I am now. While the major part of going tropey was because it was a gift and I hoped it would be what the recipient wanted, I wound up putting something out that I don't think is particularly good in any objective sense. I don't like hiding my writing "history" if you will though so here it is, lurking on my AP.

 

I really appreciate you wading through it and giving me your thoughts!