Name: potionspartner (Signed) · Date: 08 Jul 2018 01:47 AM · For: Chapter 4: The Arrival

First, Hermione's explanation of time travel theory exponential is rather disturbing. If they end up going back, I hope Hermione is able to calculate the correct mathematics equation or they might end up on the Planet of the Apes upon their return.   

I'm really suprised that they went all the way back to 1975. While I do understand the desire to help Severus from his catastrophic future decisions, they've arrived in a time with a lot of unknowns (mostly where in the world are those Horcruxes? Have they even been made yet?) The joy of going back in time is traveling with that definte knowledge. So, the first thing they do is blow up 16 minor Death Eaters (by using muggle technology which is really cool), so now they've already done a major change into DE history and still aren't sure where exactly most of the Horcruxes are. It's off to an interesting adventure. This has the potential to be a more unique time traveling story. 

Name: potionspartner (Signed) · Date: 08 Jul 2018 01:38 AM · For: Chapter 2: Tim E. Wimey

I love Phineas's story for a few reasons 1.) Who would have thought that the old goat had had such an adventure 2.) It brings up an interesting question about the various time casualty loop theories. Because he killed his younger self but didn't disappear, a future cause doesn't impact a past effect. This is a very important point that I hope the new golden trio (or at least Hermione) takes note of. For example: if they accidently do something that keeps Neville from being born, they won't have to deal the trauma and drama of Marty McFly's time travel adventures. 

 

I also like the new twist of sending back Neville instead of Ron, which makes complete sense for he has much more invested in changing the more distance past (ie early 80s) than  Ron did.  

Name: potionspartner (Signed) · Date: 07 Jul 2018 09:30 PM · For: Chapter 1: In Which A Book Is Found

Now, I'm starting to understand the odd title.

Your characterization of Hermione is perfect as is Harry's response to her. He knows that he can't do this successfully without her but how to convince her? Oh yes, the great research persuasion. She'll get so enthralled that she's almost sure to agree in the end. (Besides this keeps Harry from being a total Gryffindor and jumping in head-first unprepared.)

I'm a bit surprised in Harry's enthrallment in possible severly multilated the timeline with a possibile result of world anhilation (or worse continued existence of Voldemort), but perhaps was watching everyone at the service along with too much firewhiskey.  A combination of severe depression and large quantities of alcohol already equate to good decision making.

Which leaves us with just one question for this chapter. As Hermione asked, "Not to mention you found this in the pantry, Harry, the pantry. Who even keeps books in the pantry?"  Personally I'm blaming Kreacher. Perhaps like the locket, it was a matter of family honor to retain this particular book from death by trash bin. 

Name: justawillowtree (Signed) · Date: 23 Jan 2018 10:24 PM · For: Chapter 1: In Which A Book Is Found

Vanya omg, you make graphics, paint beautiful digital drawings, and you also write?? Is there anything you can't do? Like I mean, just looking at the banner I knew it was going to be good, just because you're literally the most artistic person ever. (I'm a very "judge a book by its cover" person whoops.)

 

SO HERE'S A TIME TRAVEL FIC. I'll confess that I've never read too many of these, mostly because I get really stressed out at the idea that someone could make a mistake and then suddenly set the apocalypse in motion. (Though I'm sure that's not the plot of this, I'm just being ridiculous tbh.) But honestly I'm really thankful that I gave this fic a try, because it's shaping up to be funny and quirky and super interesting!

 

I love how Harry is just constantly worried that Hermione will step up and be responsible. And how he even got the idea about time travel in the first place, by getting drunk first, and then reading twenty-eight chapters, and then falling asleep, and then waking up only to see where he left off. His reasons for wanting to travel back in time are so understandable, and it just made my heart twist with all these sad feelings. I miss Sirius a lot. I was just devastated when he died, so I can definitely understand Harry's wish to bring him back. (Fred, too, omg. My heart actually cracked in two when Jo killed him off.)

 

"Tim E. Wimey" lmao. That's brilliant.

 

I'm so happy I've found one of your stories! <3

 

~Eva

Name: dirtydeedsdonedirtcheap (Signed) · Date: 03 May 2017 08:03 AM · For: Chapter 1: In Which A Book Is Found

Or so he'd tried to explain to Hermione back in fifth year, as she bodily dragged him to the library to study for OWLs. She had remained deeply skeptical

Haha! That's hilarious. I could see Harry trying to reason with Hermione and this would be his main argument. Well Hermione, what if the books are evil? She'd look at him and say something snarky I'm sure. 

And Harry being Harry, did an extra stupid thing



I think the above defines Harry perfectly. Harry being Harry did a stupid thing he left went into the forbidden forest, he couldn't help himself and trudged along to the girls' bathroom, etc, etc. It's pretty much what the books are based on. Harry just being Harry.


He could- Harry felt lightheaded- he could have Sirius back.



Harry, why can't you ever just leave well enough alone? I know you're hurting but time travel? Because that's going to go well Potter.


Who even keeps books in the pantry


You know I didn't even question that. Logically I should but them blacks be crazy. 


I love this! I'm already hooked with just chapter one. I've missed your writing so much. I remember reading broccoli and a few other stories many years ago. You have just hit the mark here with humor. It wasn't too much that I felt like I could still believe Harry would do something so stupid. Let's face it he likes to get into trouble and trouble likes to follow him. I like the addition of Hermione here too. She's the only one that's thinking logically but I think she knows even with her research Harry can never leave well enough alone. I wonder what kind of world he's going to get stuck in. 

Author's Response:

Thank you so much for the review! I'm glad you enjoyed it! :D I had a lot of fun writing this story too--humour is one of my favourite things to write, so I'm glad it didn't fall flat! <33

Name: lovegood27 (Signed) · Date: 20 Apr 2017 05:34 PM · For: Chapter 3

Hello! I'm here with another review for you! :)

 

Yes, Hermione, I hate Dumbledore as well for the exact same reasons. It was nice to see different opinions of him for once :) (Nope, Harry, you totally aren't going to call you poor kid ALBUS SEVERUS in the future. Definitely not)

 

Wow, really. Hermione practically gave them a whole lecture on Time Travelling laws. But I have to say that, if your goal when writing that particular part was to creep me out, it was definitely achieved. 15 billion years?? That's scary...my reaction was the same as Harry's. I just...I don't even want to think about what must have happened to her.

 

I'm pretty sure I've mentioned this before in previous reviews, but it's so impressive how you don't get the readers confused. Time travelling is one of the most unclear and confusing things (not to mention something which creates massive plot holes) in the books, but honestly, the way you explain it all makes it seem almost simple. Even thought it's clearly not for Harry...he didn't even realise seeing Snape would mean he could see his parents again? Geez.

 

I almost forgot you asked about this being boring. And I think not. You've managed to build up lots of anticipation here (I'm kinda mad because you left this on such a cliffhanger) to keep us reading, and the humour always helps too. (Lol, the sex change spell) This is probably me being dumb, but was the point of the beginning when they mention horcruxes? The point of their journey was to save Sirius, wasn't it? Or as far as I know...I have been reading this correctly, haven't I??

 

About the Time turner thing. Like I said above, it was mostly pretty clear, but new canon (aka Cursed Child) states that it IS possible to go back in time for more than a few hours. Albus and Scorpius travel back to Harry's time, so Hermione's statement's incorrect. Although there is a law (also mentioned in CC) that says it's not possible to travel back in time for more than a few hours- without slightly changing history.

 

Also, I reread the last chapter (because why not) and I spotted two small accidents I hadn't noticed so I thought I'd mention it here. "...I appeared in my office on the 28th of October 1965, on the same day that she had vanished for the first time." I think it's supposed to be 1865. And also here: Harry, Hermione and Neville stood in horrified silence. There was a glittering in Phineas Nigellus' eyes that might have been tears, as he paused, and I wondered if this was the first time he had shared this story with anyone. You accidentally switch to first person. I'm guessing it was unintentional? :)

 

I'm so sorry, I feel like this review is basically made up of criticism which I'm not sure is even constructive, but you should know that I really am enjoying this story so far. It's a pity you don't have the next chapters up yet... ;)

 

Thanks for requesting! I'm sorry it took a century to get two reviews done :P

 

~lovegood27 xx

Author's Response:

I'm glad it wasn't boring! Also that you enjoyed the humour, because omg am I dull in real life. XD I think I'm better able to write humour than speak it?

As for the horcruxes-- yes, they were discussing when to go back in time. Of course Harry's mind jumped to Sirius first because that's the only parental figure he's known.

I haven't read the Cursed Child, and so this isn't really canonically accurate upto that time frame :)

And I don't mind the criticisms at all! They are actually really helpful because I don't have a beta reader, and things do slip me by, however many times I might reread through the chapter.

Thank you so much for all the thorough reviews! You have been extremely helpful! <33

Name: lovegood27 (Signed) · Date: 16 Apr 2017 05:21 PM · For: Chapter 2: Tim E. Wimey

Hi, I'm here with a very late review for you! The past few days have been kind of mad, and the next few days will be the same, so this is kind of the only time I can squeeze in your reviews. I'm really sorry, because I know you've been waiting for a while :)

 

Okay, let's get started, then! This was a really exciting chapter, when they were planning all their stuff. I hadn't imagined Neville would know, or that Tim E. Wimey would have something to do with Herbology. To be honest, you did a great job of just packing in loads of unexpected stuff into this chapter. I really liked it, though- it makes for a much more interesting read ;)

 

PLOT TWIST WHERE TIM WIMEY IS A GIRL AND PHINEAS ACTUALLY CONFIDES AND HAS A DECENT CONVERSATION WITH THE TRIO (AND NEVILLE) Timonesia, the poor woman...what were her parents thinking naming her that?

 

Omg, but I swear that the part with Tim's tale was my favourite part (Phineas and the Trio bonding...okay, I'll stop now) It was so clever and intricate, and I was impressed because there didn't seem to be any flaws in the story concerning confusing Time-Travelling. It all made sense. I did think the fact that Phineas was still alive was a little odd, but I suppose you never know with magic. But yeah, I still absolutely loved it. Like I said before, it didn't get confusing, which is a major feat in itself, especially when it involves killing past selves. Phineas is truly a Slytherin for pretending for 60 years, but I also felt sorry for him. I loved how you took us deeper into his character, and even showed feelings of remorse in him when he killed his wife. You still managed to keep him like he is in canon, but at the same time provided a (very believable, I have to say) back story. Of course he would go and remarry into a respectable family, though, and let everyone else forget Timonesia. *sigh*

 

I just have a question I thought of now, as I was writing this. Would he not get disowned for marrying someone like Tim? We know now that she was pretty wild and...not the type the Blacks would approve of. So it left me wondering :)

 

I think your flow and characterisation were both great in this chapter. I don't have much to say about the former, since it all seemed to run pretty smoothly to me. For this chapter, I think your characterisation was totally on point, though. Neville with his obvious love of Herbology, then Hermione wanting to study, research and being all mature, and Harry being...well, Harry. Like, the bit when he's evidently trying to be all noble and trying to stop Hermione and Neville coming with him. (Honestly, Harry) And then Hermione's slap! It was so funny. It wasn't as funny when she started crying (*sniffles*) but it would definitely be in her character to do that. Ron, like you mentioned in the chapter, did seem to be much more serious. But of course, that would just be Fred's death having its effects, which is the explanation you gave. In my opinion, he seemed to be much devoted to his family than before, and not quite as adventurous. But I think that would have the same explanation as above :)

 

Oh, wait, I have one more thing to say. So...as much as I liked the part with Phineas, I thought he was being too civil towards the Trio. Wow, that sounds so nitpicky it's actually stupid. Don't get me wrong, the other elements of his character were perfect, it's just this. The beginning was fine, because he had that hilarious (but annoying) attitude we know he has from the books. I think just afterwards? To be honest, I don't even think this is such a big problem (seriously, the rest was so good I almost just got distracted by it) but I thought I'd point out a few details anyway. 1. Not sure Phineas would address Hermione as 'Ms. Granger'. I feel he would call her just 'Granger', if not 'mudblood'. 2. I don't think he cares about the Trio enough to advise them to be careful.

 

BUT- those points could easily just be explained away. Years of being at Dumbledore's service could have influenced Phineas to not call people 'mudblood' anymore, and Phineas could simply be more caring than we think he is (I mean, he was a headmaster after all, they're supposed to care.)

 

So, why did I mention that. I felt like I had to give you some sort of CC and that was pretty much the only thing I could find fault with :)

 

That was another very enjoyable chapter. I'm sorry this is such a ridiculously long-winded review, and apologies once again for the delay. I hope this was (mildly) helpful for you- thanks for requesting!

 

~lovegood27 xx

 

 

 

Author's Response:

Don't apologise! I love long-winded reviews! <33 And yours was just perfect and thoughtful. I'm glad you found the flow well. English isn't my first language, so I'm especially concerned about awkwardly framed sentences :) And your critique is actually pretty spot on! I haven't read Harry Potter in years, so I'm definitely winging it a little in terms of characterisation. I'll be sure to edit this part though when I finish the story (IF I finish the story XD)

Thank you so much!

Name: lovegood27 (Signed) · Date: 09 Apr 2017 01:16 PM · For: Chapter 1: In Which A Book Is Found

Hello, I'm here with your requested review! :)

 

Lolll "you look like a demented owl" cracked me up so badly. (Hermione, that's just SLIGHTLY offensive, you know). Also the "Harry was not going to break...Harry broke" part was hilarious. So humour wise, I think your fine ;) What I really liked was how you managed to keep this mysterious and compelling to read but still with a funny element in it at the same time; it works really well if you can get the right mix of the three, which I think you did :D

 

You asked about this being too rushed, but I don't think it was. You kept the dialogue and actions all balanced perfectly, so it was clear to the reader what was happening. I was just slightly uncertain of one thing; the way to actually time travel. So you mentioned Harry wanting to find the stone again ("you didn't easily forget the time that you walked to a crazy dark lord, hoping he would murder you." Lol XD) Does that mean he found a way in the book to time travel using the Resurrection Stone? It sounds really interesting :D

 

So while I'm on the subject of the book: I thought that Tim E. Wimey name was so clever. I would never have thought of it myself and I was just so impressed. It's such a creative idea and also gives an immediate connection from the story to the title for the reader. It was a great touch to add to the story :)

 

Characterisation! You did a pretty good job for the most part. Hermione was absolutely spot on. One line of hers I liked especially was the "How about this? We research." Ahaha, that would be such a Hermione thing to say, I'm almost surprised JKR never put it in the original series. I think you managed Harry's character really well too. His feelings were described accurately, I could definitely understand him getting excited if he could have Sirius back. The one thing I thought was a tiny bit uncharacteristic of him was to use alcohol as a form of escaping from real life. The subsequent stuff...yeah, because, hello? He's drunk. I just don't think it would be like him to get drunk because he was having a rough time in the first place. To drink a bit? Probably likely. But to get drunk? I'm not so sure. But it's your story and I was never great at characteristic stuff anyway so correct me if you think I'm wrong :)

 

And I think that's all I have to say! Thank you for a very enjoyable read- please feel free to rerequest ;D

 

~lovegood27 xx

Author's Response:

Hello, thank you for the in-depth review! :)

Haha, I've read so many time travel fics that I love and that are super serious, so I wanted to try something different, you know? I'm glad to know it worked :)

As for the time- travel aspect, hopefully that is explained in more detail in the future chapters ^^

I'm glad you like the name. Honestly I have no idea how I cam up with it lol. I was just watching Doctor Who for the millionth time, and really wanted to use it within the story somehow xD

Thanks for pointing that drinking stuff out! To be honest, I just really needed to make him read that book, but I didn't think he would read it under normal circumstances, you know, and it all just devolved from there. I'll try to think of another way if it fits, and edit the story in that case

Thank you so much for the review. You've been immensely helpful xx