Name: 800 words of heaven (Signed) · Date: 15 Jan 2019 08:43 PM · For: One Love On Year

Hello, Carrie! I’m rounding up some Nifflers that are still bothering me, and I’ve managed to rescue a review from them for you. Also, I’m here for Jan’s EvS battle.

 

Ooh! I don’t think I have ever read any of your poetry before. I am trying to branch out and read more poetry, and I found this really interesting! I really liked the way you played with convention and had the stanzas alternating down the side of the page. It added a nice visual element to the piece overall.

 

It’s amazing that you have created an entire love story in just twelve lines. I am in awe. The four stanzas felt like they told a complete love story. Obviously, they left a lot unsaid, but that was the fun of this poem; I was free to imagine and fill in the blanks myself. It made it an exercise in imagination for me. I felt that using the seasons added an extra dimension, and helped ground some of my imagining of the love story at the four anchor points of the different seasons.

 

Great stuff, as always, Carrie!

 

Xx 800

Author's Response:

Oh! A random Niffler such a surprise!  Thank you for reading this bit of poetry.  This was a lot of fun to work on and write, and was certainly a challenge.  The reason I aimed for the seasons was to hold to a more traditional for of a Haiku which includes a bit of weather, and then having contrasting phrases so that is was the source of inspiration for this story.  I am glad you enjoyed it.  I need to dabble in doing more Haiku's like this becuase it was fun to experiment with.

Name: Felpata_Lupin (Signed) · Date: 28 Apr 2017 01:08 AM · For: One Love On Year

Hello, Marshal! Here for CTF! :D

 

This was really beautiful! I love the images you managed to create in such a short space, I'm so impressed. I loved your use of poetry here, the musicality of the piece, I know I couldn't write anything like this. So beautiful.

 

I also really loved the seasonal theme, it is so great, gives the piece even more life, if you know what I mean. And once again it's so impressive how you managed to describe each season so effectively with just one line, love it!

 

Winter: there is this beautiful contrast between the harshness of the cold season and the softness of a new love blossoming, it's so delightful.

 

Spring: the season of love and new beginnings, and they begin their new avventure of living together. :)

 

Summer: once again the contrast between the heat of the season and the coldness that comes when family turns their back on you. It's so sad, but unfortunately something that can happen often... :(

 

And finally Autumn, probably my favourite. :P Again a time of changes, and they are making one of the biggest changes in their life, but their love stays a constant. I could almost hear the ring of the bells, such powerful imagery!

 

If you couldn't say, I loved this! Such wonderful job! I'm so in love with it!

 

Lots of love,

Chiara

Author's Response:

Chiara,

 

Thank you so much for your kind remarks about the use of poetry.  I am glad it ended up having a musicality to it and works so well.  When putting this together I sort of looked at each poem alone and then worked from there reading things over an over to be sure that the picture and feeling was evoked in each piece.  I am also glad you like the contrast in each season, that is part of haikus I've learned that they should have a nature and perferably a season element and need to have a contrast of words in the poem which is what made this both challenging and fun.  I would love to do more works like this but I haven't had inspiration for it yet.

Name: Dojh167 (Signed) · Date: 28 Apr 2017 12:22 AM · For: One Love On Year

Hufflepuff CtF Review

 

Oooh, this is cool - I’ve seen some free form poetry on here, but nothing as structured as haikus, so it’s cool to see people experimenting with different styles.

 

One thing that has always been a pet peeve of mine when people do haikus is they focus just on the syllable pattern, but totally neglect the significance of nature, so I’m glad you’ve made use of that here.

 

And here you’ve not only incorporated the seasonal aspect, but you’ve very effectively made those seasons very relevant to the emotional turn of each poem!

 

With the title “One Love One Year” I expected it to be a love that only lasted a year, while in fact the year is only the beginning of the relationship, as far as we can tell. That’s something positive! What’s more, in a way each of these poems is a beginning, and there’s a different kind of beginning for the couple in each season, so it becomes the year things began, made up of different beginnings, which is very, well, poetic =P

 

Ugh at summer though. Anyone turning away from someone (especially family) because of who they love is so ick to me. And as far as we can tell (which isn’t much, considering such limited information) the only reason is maybe because they rushed into things kind of quickly? But still, it’s not that and and nobody’s place to judge.

 

I think you did an awesome job with this, and I’m really impressed by how much of a story u were able to convey with just four haikus! Very commendable!

 

Sam.

Author's Response:

Sam,

 

I am glad you liked the small story that was crafted with the Haiku's.  I remembe doing them for some sort of challenge another site but I honestly don't remembe the details.  I just remember wanting to do a strutured poem and stretch my wings as well.  You are right that most people only focus on the sylables of the poem and fail to remembe that there is more to it than that.  In my research I learned that not only is the significance of nature a big part of them but some argue that seasons need to be a part of the poems and then I also learned that haikus should have two contrasting elements such as hot and old, soft and hard.  Thus I took all those elements into consideration in my poem to challenge myself to craft a love story (that was the challeng - just remembered - tell a love story in poetic form).  The story as a whole was actually based on a role play I'm doing.  The story is condenced and rushed a little bit but all the key elements are the same. 

 

I honestly think knowing the whole story helped me craft the story as a whole and the challenge from haiku technicalities really helped push the envelope, particularly the contrasting words I think is what gives the story and poems their strenght and form.  As for the rejection in the summer poem your reasoning is good but in my head it was a matter that the family simply didn't approve of the chosen love for various reasons.  But I tried to fix that in the later poems that those who rejected were learning and realizing their need to accept the couple for who and what they are.

 

Also the different beginings, I admit I didn't think of that when I wrote but you are right and it is a lovely point on your part!