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Okay, so we’ve got some good things here. Sirius has a boyfriend. Remus works at a bookstore. You like how I’m focusing on the positive? You should try it sometime instead of making people suffer. jkjk I like the pain.
James’ scolding look at Remus for letting Sirius come to the meeting. omg James is the mom friend. I love it.
Oh, are James and Remus being Ministry spies? That’s interesting. As far as I know the ministry wasn’t as Bad then as in the Second War, but I’m sure the Auror files are still meant to be kept secret.
Having Dumbledore pull you aside after a meeting feels a lot like getting in trouble with the teacher after class, doesn’t it?
I don’t know if I’ve read other stories by you with Dumbledore, but I have to say you’ve done quite a good job capturing him! His mannerisms and tone both feel canon, as does his detached and manipulative way of dealing with people.
I love you, mom-friend-James, jumping in to protect Sirius.
“Genocide is great and also I’m straight now.” Perfect line is perfect (in wrong ways of course).
The line “Sirius can just say no anyway” feels really strong coming from Peter, he who failed to say no.
Already regretting that there are only two more chapters up!
Sam.
Author's Response:Ahahaha! I'm so sorry for making you suffer, even if you do secretly love it.
I DEFINITELY imagine James as being a bit of a mom friend. Idk why but that's just how I picture him. I'm really glad you enjoyed it, because I'm always really insecure about writing James!
I was less thinking that James and Sirius (I'm assuming that's what you meant) were spying ON the Ministry, and more thinking that they're reporting any useful information they find THROUGH the Ministry (so yeah, just leaking file information, which I'm sure they're definitely not supposed to do haha). That being said, I do feel like Dumbledore would be perfectly happy to have people in place within the Ministry, just in case.
I don't think I've ever written Dumbledore before, and to be honest, it's really challenging! I find myself getting so intimidated, hahaha. So it's awesome to know you think I've done a good job!
Thanks so much for stopping by, Sam!
-Kayla
Hello! I’m glad to have an event to kick me into shape and get me reading stories I’ve always wanted to - this one is definitely on that list!
I had hoped this story would be an AU, because it feels easier to stomach dark material with the promise of James not dying and Sirius not going to Azkaban, but you haven’t given me that hope. I’ll stubbornly cling to it anyway.
Me being sassy @ the auorors’ matching binder system: “can’t y’all just admit you want to have computers?”
OH. So that’s the tragedy striking Sirius’ life. I should’ve been prepared for that, so of course I wasn’t.
Auror Viola may not be the brightest. “Why are you so worked up about the death of Mr. Black, Mr. Black?”
You didn’t spare any punches there and got us right into the action and heartbreak of the story. It looks like this will be a rough ride, but in a good help!-my-feelings way, and I guess that’s what I’m here for. Your setup so far has been very effective, and I’m looking forward to seeing how things unfold and how James and Sirius stay alive and happy forever. Whoops.
Sam.
Author's Response:Hi Sam! I'm not sure if this was a transfer but if it was I don't remember responding to it on HPFF, so I'll just respond here.
I'm not gonna say anything about that except that it's always good to have hope! ;)
Hmm, did the Muggles even have computers at this point? I mean, I guess they did, but the giant ones that took up a whole room. The binder system kind of seems more effecient than that, in a way! ahaha. But yes. Wizards should have computers, it would save them lots of shenanigans.
Poor Viola! She's just overworked, is all ;)
I'm glad you enjoyed this first chapter! Thanks for the review <3
-Kayla
Yessss I am so here for all of this.
I love how you're capturing Sirius and Remus's relationship. There's a lot of maturity in it - while I'm not sure how long they've actually been dating, it's very clear that they know each other well and have really deep feelings for each other, which is why Sirius bites his tongue rather than invite a fight - but they're also clearly still young men in a very stressful situation and have very different ways of dealing with feelings, which is why Sirius tries not to wake him up in the first place and dawdles about going home.
His friendship with James is something different entirely - I think part of it might be that platonic friends tend to not be quite as pushy about knowing what you need better than you do, but I think part of it is also that James really is Sirius's partner in crime in a lot of ways. He's protective, but he's also not pushy - in part because (at least as far as I can tell) Sirius doesn't push him.
Sirius does push other people, though, and I'm glad he got called out on it and shut down hard pretty much immediately - on one hand, his reaction is totally understandable and normal, but on the other, that's exactly why it's a problem. You can't go sharing sources around - that's what gets people killed. I'm curious to see how this ends up going - I can't wait for the next chapter to go up!
Author's Response:Awww, this is all really fantastic to hear. I feel like I haven't actually written that much Wolfstar that's not, like, past tense or currently-crashing-and-burning or in its embreyonic stages. This story has actually been trickier than I expected in terms of capturing their relationship, so I'm really glad you enjoyed it.
Yeah, Sirius is not necessarily in the right frame of mind to be back at work so soon, but as we've established, he wants to Be Busy and Do Things, so here he is inappropriately pushing for sources :')
It makes me happy that this left you curious and wanting to read more <3 Thank you for the lovely review!
-Kayla
Oooof.
I really, really like the way you're handling grief and stress here. I think that there's a tendency in fiction (both pop culture and fanfic) to portray the answer to grief and stress is sitting alone in a quiet room, and that's just... not how a lot of people process things. I get where Sirius is coming from - while I'm glad that he recognizes that Remus means well, I'm also glad that his reaction is to want to do something. It tracks really well with what we know of his character from canon, too - it's just really well done.
At first I was a little taken aback by James's surprise - he knows Sirius, after all! - but as I thought about it more, I remembered that he'd been the one to bring Sirius home because he literally wasn't able to bring himself home. In light of that, it makes sense for him to be surprised - and I like how his surprise morphs into hyperprotectiveness when Dumbledore holds Sirius back and floats the undercover thing. (And I love Sirius's response, too - those bridges are definitely burned to ash.)
I can't wait to keep reading - this is so, so good.
Author's Response:Hi again!
Aw, thank you <3 That is the way that grief is commonly portrayed, so I was a little bit nervous about going in a different direction with it. And it was a bit of a challenge to balance Sirius being the type of person who wants to act and wants to distract himself with just... his state of shock and dissociation. So I hope that I pulled that off.
In terms of James, I was less intending for him to be surprised that Sirius would want to come to the meeting, and more intending him to be surprised that Remus hadn't, like, sat on him or something to stop him leaving the house. Like, he knows what Sirius is like but he also worries about it because it gets unhealthy, and he doesn't want Sirius to burn himself out. Idk if that makes sense.
Thank you so much for the review, glad you're enjoying this! <3
-Kayla
Hey, Kayla! I'm here to leave you a little cheer for Pass-It-Along. I love Aurors and I love Sirius, so I thought I'd start here.
I was not disappointed. I love the way you took the wartime environment into account in terms of training without veering so far in the "not normal times" direction that it becomes unbelievable. I can totally, totally see Auror "trainees" being tasked with desk work - and while I get why Sirius hates it, it makes sense to free up some time for people who are already accomplished duelers and bringing-Death-Eaters-in-ers. (That is not a term.)
And I love (love, love) the idea of 1) James doing it with him and 2) James being so focused on his work that he doesn't look up exactly when Sirius wants him to and Sirius being a bit put-out over it.
All of that eases us into the story... and then you bring everything crashing down on the reader as well as on Sirius. It's such an awful thing to come across, but I can understand how it would've slipped through - they must be spread so, so thin right now, and while ideally they would be paying attention to this stuff...
I mean, it's not even just the wartime environment. The wizarding community seems pretty small, in the grand scheme of things - even if Harry's year was on the smaller side, it's inevitable that they'd be coming across the names of people they know and care about, and while Sirius's brother is something that really should have been caught, it's got to be something they're all dealing with in a more general sense - I feel like you got at that really nicely when you mentioned Sirius thinking he recognized some names.
Amazing job.
Author's Response:Hiya Branwen!
Yay, I'm glad you found my accelarated program to be realistic! When it comes to Auror/Ministry stuff, I'm never quite sure whether the stuff I come up with works outside of my own mind :') So that is reassuring!
Yeah, definitely Sirius's brother should've been caught and more care should've been taken, but for me personally it's not difficult to imagine something like that slipping through (like you said, they're really stretched so thin). so I'm glad you agree on that front - some other people have had a bit of a harder time with that.
Thanks for reading and for the lovely review! <3
-Kayla
Hi, Kayla! I came back to your story!
It’s great you focused on what and how Sirius heard and felt after coming back from Auror office rather than begining with the visual depicting of the main character. It’s splendid that the process how stunned Sirius noticed Remus had cared him with Remus’s detailed descriptions. You captured his characteristics very well: fake-calm Mooney, with his lips are pressed tightly together.
Though Sirius’s first words made Remus amused, we recognize how deeply Sirius had been shocked by his brother’s sudden death. Wa…Remus was working at a Muggle book store! A good choice. It’s very Remus-ish and he couldn’t have the other choices in the Wizarding World because of Lycanthropy.
It’s natural that you inserted the Order meeting with the information that James had stayed for Sirius until Remus came back. Sirius couldn’t stay at home any longer, suffering from his brother's death. He must have wanted to forget the cruel reality by attending the meeting. It’s interesting to read various HP characters surrounding Dumbledore at the meeting.
Dumbledore’s words are shocking. Murder happened because Frederic Sudworth failed in his disguise, which sent me a chill. It’s good you wrote in that way. That must be reality Marauders had to face at that time. “The smallest mistake could get them killed.”! I remembered Harry’s mistake, that he uttered the taboo words while hunting horcruxes with Ron and Hermione. Then I’m very impressed when I read the spot, “Suspicion is enough to get you killed.” It’s marvelous you let Sirius’s thought ponder from the severe situation at that time to the reason why his brother was killed. Kayla, I really got thrilled at Sirius’s thought about the reason why Regulus was killed. That’s the most important theme in your Auror’s tale. I expect you will develop more from here. :D
We can guess from the fact Sirius didn’t report his brother’s death, that he would try searching investigation of it alone. Dumbledore must have known what Sirius didn’t tell him by Legilimency. I held my breath at their conversation and Dumbledore’s words, “I’m afraid not.”, which reminded me of HP book 6, in which he told Harry about Slytherin locket.
Oh, another exciting plot! Sirius was asked to do undercover work by Dumbledore. Will he disguise himself as one of Voldemort’s follower? His mission will be dangerous! <p><p>
K
Author's Response:Hi Kenny!
It definitely made the most sense to me to start the scene sort of inside of Sirius's head. I thought that it flowed between chapter 1 and chapter 2 more naturally that way.
The Order meeting was interesting to write! I've never really done anything like that before. So I'm glad to hear that you liked the meeting! You're right, I really wanted to emphasize the reality of the situation. The Marauders were living in really dangerous times, and we know for a fact that a lot of Order members got killed. And you're also right that Regulus's death is going to remain a really important theme in this story.
Thanks for reading and for the review! :D
-Kayla
Hi, Kayla! Congrats, you got the first place at Auror’s Tale Season 3!
I really love the story began from the magical descriptions about the Auror office. Pictures of motorbikes, his desire to be sent out into the field are very Sirius-ish.
The scene was shifted from Sirius’s eyes and ears to circumstances in the wizarding world at that time, and we remember the cruel reality Sirius had to face around the Wizarding World War I.
Agh, “Fawley’s handwriting is always so small, and…scribbly,” it’s like me. :P
I like the scene, James was so absorbed in his work that he couldn’t listen to what Sirius said. Harry will be proud of his father. :D
The system how to track the Death Eaters sounds cool, Kayla!
It’s very shocking but the best timing for inserting the information of his brother’s death. Viola’s puzzled look and Sirius’s irritation and fear are well written through their conversation. It’s really cruel for Sirius that he happened to know brother’s death and hear from his colleague who finished him. I have many thoughts right now. Sirius will have lots of missions and he may have a chance to face Voldemort to revenge for his brother… K .
Author's Response:Hi Kenny! Thank you, it really means a lot to me that I got first in your challenge <3
I bet Sirius's ideal situation would be if he were sent out into the field ON his motorbike. He probably daydreams about it :'D
Aw, it's okay that your handwriting is small and scribbly. There are worse things than that!
It's great that this chapter leaves you with a lot of thoughts and ideas about what might happen next! It makes me happy to know that :)
Thanks for the review, Kenny! (And for hosting all your Aurors Tale challenges!)
-Kayla
Hi, Kayla! Thank you for making an entry for Auror's Tale Season 3 between CTF and House Cup. I really appreciate you continued writing “The Department”.
As I noticed you seemed to edit from chapter 1 to 2, I’d like to summarize feedback through three chapters here. (I’ll be back to chapter 1 and 2 later, of course! :D)
It’s great you focused on Sirius’s mind movement and his brother’s death. Though we know the background of Regulus Black’s death via J.K.Rowling’s original books, I felt fresh and very original after reading “The Department” chapter 1 to 3.
Your favorite ship, Sirius/Remus is gently written from the author’s eyes and we readers are itching to know what James found. I hope it won’t lead to his bad luck.
As we read more, the mystery, why Regulus was finished, becomes the heart of the story. Sirius’s worry and care about his lost brother arouse sympathy from readers and we notice the main character, Sirius Black is very human, irritable, given the circumstances, his only brother was dead and nobody could tell him why he was finished.
In spite of his hard situation, he also had to work for the Order. I hold my breath and expect more adventures and Sirius’s struggles are coming. Please continue this story, Kayla! I’m looking forward to reading next.
K
Author's Response:Hi Kenny! So sorry for my late response to this.
You're too nice to me, hahaha. It's very cool to hear that you felt like this was a fresh take on Regulus's story despite his backstory being explained in the books. I like what you said about how Regulus's death and the mystery around it is kind of the heart of the story, because I definitely feel like that is how I've been approaching it.
I'm definitely not planning to abandon this story any time soon! :)
Thank you for the lovely review!
-Kayla
Hey, Kayla! I had some time, so I figured I'd start transfering some of my CTF reviews :)
So I've been watching your progress on this on Twitter and I think the old forums too, so I'm beyond exciting to see that's it's as wonderful as I expected! I don't think I've read anything of yours before (which is a crime tbh), but I love the ideas you have about Sirius and I love how you've written him here! It's a shorter chapter, but we still get a real sense of who he is. He's obviously smart and talented enough to get through a more rigorous form of Auror training, but you do a really awesome job of setting up how young he is as well. It'd make sense for someone who is two years out of Hogwarts to be ancy doing straight desk work and filing report after report. Trust me, dude, I get it, I really do.
Oh, man, that twist (is it a twist? Imma call it a twist) hit me like a ton of bricks. I feel like I should have known that something like that was coming, but jesus, that was so awful. I love how we get the information the same way Sirius does. It really adds to the impact that it has on the reader, which is like a punch to the gut. I also love James' reactions to everything too, it felt really true to what we know about him from canon and otherwise.
Fantastic job, I look forward to coming back!
Claire
Author's Response:Hi Claire!
You are too sweet! Thank you so much for saying so many lovely things about my story <3 I really appreciate it! I'm especially happy that you thought James was written well; I'm actually quite insecure about writing him, so it's really great to hear when people think I pulled it off.
Thanks for reading and for leaving/transferring such a nice review! <3
-Kayla
Hi Kayla!
Yay, I get to read more of this story! Or rather, the first chapter of this story, which means I am now perfectly entitled to pester/encourage you for updates. Be warned.
This was such an intriguing start to the story! I really liked the way that you lulled us into this false sense of security with the beginning of the chapter, focusing more on the minutiae of Sirius's role as an Auror and everything that that involves. Then you go and rip out my heart just a bit at the end of the chapter, which I'm going to have to have stern words with you about, thank you very much.
I actually found all of the detail about the Auror department really interesting. I think there are so many stories which don't actually consider the logistics behind it, and don't go into more detail than their Auror characters storming off around the country to fight dark wizards, but actually it's like a police department or intelligence department, and of course they'd need people to go through all of the information that they're getting hold of to decide what needs to be sifted through in more detail. So I actually really enjoyed reading about that side of things, because it's fascinating to think of all the different aspects of the job that an Auror might do, and I thought it was a really clever way for you to build up towards the ending for your completely unsuspecting readers.
Poor Sirius, though. I can't imagine him as someone who would be happy sitting at a desk and sifting through files, when he wants to be out there and fighting the dark wizards all the time. It makes sense that it would be his job, though, given that he's a newer Auror and hasn't got as much experience, but you did a fantastic job of capturing his frustration with his role and the impatience for something more interesting to come along and happen.
I also loved the little details that you included about the way that Sirius's cubicle was personalised with photos of motorbikes and the other Marauders (Remus? :P), and his characterisation was so great, even down to the moment when he pouts a bit because James isn't paying him the attention he wants. I can definitely imagine him being the sort of friend who would be a bit annoyed if he didn't get the attention he was hoping for all the time (in the nicest possible way of course, my dear Sirius).
Then the ending! You really lulled me into this false sense that the first chapter was just going to be an introduction to the story and characters and Sirius's role in the department, but no, you couldn't be nice like that could you??
I've read a lot of fic and I honestly don't think that I can ever remember having read about Sirius's reaction to the news of Regulus's death before. I know that in the books he seems quite blasé when he talks about it, but I'm sure at the time it was anything but - because even if he believes that his brother is a Death Eater and did the wrong thing entirely, he's still his brother and that can't not hurt. I really liked the way that the news seemed to come to him so suddenly, in the midst of all the files he's been bored with, and the repetition of the statement, as if he was reading it again to try and make himself believe it, was really effective.
Poor Sirius! His reaction to this was so believable and I just wanted to reach through the screen and give him a hug. He really shouldn't have had the news broken to him in that way and I'm hoping that he's going to be alright. Don't be too mean to the poor guy, Kayla! (And *whispers* write some more, please!)
Sian :)
Author's Response:Yay, hi Sian!
I'll consider myself warned :') although I'm really not against being pestered/encouraged for updates, and you've been SO encouraging lately, which I really can't thank you enough for <3
Let me tell you, I've definitely been considering all the logistics of the Auror Office and the MoM more broadly, and it is a headache :') But I do think it's very much worth doing in order to make this story work. (So it's really good to hear that it is, in fact, working and I'm not puzzling all this out for no reason, ahahah.)
Poor Sirius indeed! He is DEFINITELY a person who likes to act and not one for sitting around. Yet here he is. Good thing he has the Order or he'd probably lose his mind :')
Do I even need to say how happy compliments about Sirius make me? I feel like you definitely already know <3
I'm always pretty mean to him (idk why, I feel like a jerk :'D @Sirius ily boo) but I'll TRY not to be too mean to him ;)
Thank you for the lovely review Sian, you're the best <3
-Kayla
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