Name: shadowkat678 (Signed) · Date: 22 May 2019 08:01 PM · For: Chapter 1

Hi, Paula! 

 

I really like how you wrote her before the bitterness really overcame Patuna, and she's more jelous but still obviously cares about Lily. You know, as much as she doesn't like Snape, I think both have a few similarities, which I'm sure they would both absolutly hate to realize. (Someone should write a fic about that. Maybe I will when I actually start writing more again. I already got a similar compare and contrast idea for Snape and Sirius, after all!)

 

But this is about Patunia right now. I wonder what she would have been like if she never met Vernin. Would she continue fantasizing, but eventually feel happy for her sister instead of considering Lily "one of those freaks"? Could she have even grown to love Harry later down the road and been a good aunt? 

 

I love the way Lily describes the houses. It really is so simplistic and childlike, and so free from the prejuduces that you see thrown around in the books, and the thought of Snape being in the "movie star house" made me giggle. I do think Patunia likely would be in Slytherin, and it almost makes me wish she was magic. I feel like someone has written this au and I need to track it down! Maybe she'll even learn to somewhat tolerate Snape in it and influence the path he went down. 

 

Anyway, it was a great story and I need to stop by your page more often!

Name: ReillyJade (Signed) · Date: 14 Jul 2018 11:33 PM · For: Chapter 1

That's cool. I didn't need my heart, anyway. :/

 

Lol, in all serious, though, this was a stunning piece. You really have a knack for fleshing out minor characters. (Not that Petunia is "minor" - she's pretty significant - but you know what I mean.) I love the angle you chose to attack this from: she's envious, yes, but most of all, she's just a lonely girl who is missing her sister. You struck that balance well, and I love how you scattered her pangs of jealousy throughout her moments of longing. And, seeing as we know Petunia is the older sister, I like that there are glimpses of her protectiveness of Lily, such as when she felt sorry for her public sorting or thinking she didn't truly belong in Gryffindor.

 

"Then there is the Slytherin house. I think they don't really get along well with the Gryffindors but they are kind of the same thing." - RIGHT?! Lol, they totally are! It's so funny that Lily, a Muggleborn, picks up on this right away. Obviously there are some differences, but they're probably the two most similar of the Houses. 

 

Toward the end, I really like the bit about what Petunia would do if she ever had the chance to attend Hogwarts. How she would "prove" herself to be a better Gyffindor than Lily. It's interesting to see the older sister trying to compete with the younger sister; usually, it's the other way around. This perfectly illustrates Petunia's feelings bitter resentment toward Lily. 

 

This was another flawless piece from you that I enjoyed immensely. Well done! <3

 

Cheers,

Reilly

Name: Stella Blue (Signed) · Date: 14 Dec 2016 10:16 PM · For: Chapter 1

I love your effective way of establishing settings. After all, one can't write a story about the 70s without a shag carpet making an appearance. :P

 

But anyway, this story was beautiful and sad. What I love most about it is that Petunia is so understandable here. I feel badly for her, and I can even relate to her, in a way, because this is before she becomes so entrenched in bitterness. She's just sad and left out. I think it's because at this point in Lily and Petunia's lives, there's a sense that they still could have worked things out - the feeling of "it's not too late". This is only Lily's first year, and Petunia still missees having her sister around. She's lonely, and meanwhile Lily is off exploring a whole new world that Petunia longs for but can never have. And to rub salt in the wound, Lily is spending a lot of time with someone Petunia looks down on (Snape). It really comes across that Petunia feels like she's been replaced by a more interesting world with interesting people and Petunia can never really share in that, even if she gets the letters. The letters just tell her what she's missing. Ah, it's just so sad, the way they fell apart, and this story is especially powerful as it's right on the cusp of when that happened.

 

And another thing that really makes it hurt the feels is because Lily clearly forgives Petunia for whatever mean things she might have said before, and is writing to Petunia because she's so excited to share all of this with her sister. She's so optimistic. It hurts!

 

I also admit that all Petunia's wonderings and fanciful imaginings of what her life would be at Hogwarts - it got me thinking about what house Petunia would be in, if she were a witch. I couldn't see her in Gryffindor or Hufflepuff. And the way she likes to imagine herself as being the best at what she does fits right in with Ravenclaw or Slytherin... overall I think Slytherin. Wouldn't she just love to know she would share a house with Severus Snape, haha.

 

The last line is so sad. Clearly Petunia cares a lot. I think she always did, to some extent, she just never really showed it - not at this point, and certainly not later in her life when she was married. You know, Petunia is such an interesting character and I honestly love reading about her. I'm so glad you decided to write about her.

 

You mentioned Petunia's venom in your A/N and I agree with you, I think the story is just perfect as is - after all, she's around 13 here and still getting used to the idea that her sister is special and lives a different life that Petunia can only imagine and be jealous of. I think you're right, the snappy bitterness she developed was something that took years - right now she's just lost and lonely, but too proud to show it.

 

This was great, and I loved the insight into the Evans sisters.

Name: Rhaenyra (Signed) · Date: 12 Dec 2016 06:01 PM · For: Chapter 1

Review copied from HPFF, now that I realize you're here too:

 

It sounds like this was for a fun challenge and you did a great job with an unusual assortment. Petunia, the sorting hat, and imagination don't seem to go together at all but this story seems perfectly plausible. Of course Lily would have written home after her sorting and of course Petunia, who wanted to go with her sister, would imagine what things would be like if she was a witch, too.

The more genial Petunia seems more plausible here, I believe. You can tell that she is still jealous of her sister, but it is more subtle. The anger and confusion and feeling of being thought of as "less than" are all woven in naturally. The way Petunia thought of all the things she would have done better than Lily - sitting straight, listening to the hat - illustrate how she is having a hard time with why her sister was accepted into the school but she was not granted the magical skills. The desire to be like Lily (Gryffindor) but to also be seen as as good as, if not better, than her sister sounds very real. As somebody with a sister a couple years younger who was my best childhood, I don't doubt that I would have reacted like this if we were in the Evans sisters' shoes.

I love the concept of writing the villaneous, morally wrong characters before they were so bad. It is very sad knowing where she ends up, neglecting her nephew out of spite for her sister, but it is made worse knowing that she was not always so bad and was unlikely to really grown resentful of her sister at first.

Oh, I almost forgot - the descriptions of the houses Lily gave Petunia were hilarious. Picturing Severus Snape in the movie star house got a good laugh out of me.

Name: Felpata_Lupin (Signed) · Date: 31 Oct 2016 01:17 PM · For: Chapter 1

Hi, Paula!

I just signed up on here, but I'm still not sure about how to go with this, so I decided to scroll and see who had already posted what and I saw this and I realized that I've never read anything by you before and that's absolutely shameful and so... here I am... :P

I loved this! Honestly, it was so adorable, and so perfect, and so in character with Tuney (I totally agree with what you wrote in your note, all the venom wouldn't be there at that stage... but the sass was just wonderful!)

Even if you showed us only a few lines of Lily's letter, I could practically hear her squee in excitement and it was so lovely! So very eleven-year-old and so very like I would imagine Lily to be on her first day at Hogwarts! And I adored how you included the Marauders, especially James bringing her to the Gryffindor table. That was adorable! (I know... I'm using that word too much...)

And I loved Petunia's thoughts. As I said, perfect. I loved all the whatever-she-asked-for-it comments and I loved the if-I-had-been-there-then. It was interesting to see Lily's perspective on the four houses and how Petunia interpreted them based on it. I'm a bit offended that Hufflepuff is so unconsidered... but on the other end Hufflepuff has always been a bit unconsidered, and I surely wouldn't see Petunia in there. ;)

I think you wrote really well what Petunia's thoughts must've been and her internal conflict of jealousy, longing and the will for her sister to be happy. It was so [insert A word here]. Also, I'm happy she got to be a bit spoiled by her parents at least. I think she does deserve it after all.

Great, great, great work! Loved every bit of it (style included, forgot to mention that before)!

Chiara

Name: abhorsen (Signed) · Date: 31 Oct 2016 02:23 AM · For: Chapter 1

Omggg, Paula, I can't. You're such a brilliant writer - this was just sheer perfection. You captured Petunia's voice (and her ambivalence!) so perfectly - the mixture of yearning, jealousy, and just plain feeling sad that her sister isn't there anymore was so well-done, and it fit both the age Petunia is supposed to be and what we see in her as an adult. Amazing, amazing job.