Name: TreacleTart (Signed) · Date: 07 Apr 2017 03:14 AM · For: Wordsmith

Hey Deeds! 

 

I'm here for our review swap! 

 

So I actually originally read this story when I validated it in the queue and I loved it, so I'm glad to get a chance to read it again at a more liesurely pace. 

 

I have to admit, it's hard for me to think of Hermione as this curmodgeonly old spinster ruining Harry and Ginny's romantic lives all the time. I mean I could imagine her having boy troubles from being picky, but I guess I think she'd be more private about it. That being said, I can suspend that belief for the humor in the story.

 

I like that even though Ron and Hermione didn't work out, they stayed amicable. I like even more that Ron knows Hermione so well that he can give Justin advice on how to woo her. That's what great friendships are made of. 

 

I think it's pretty cute how Justin goes about trying to win Hermione over. I think the letters were a great ice breaker. It's like Justin knew that he needed to be extra eloquent and impressive to get under all of Hermione's shields. It worked quite well in the end. 

 

And I love how Hermione turns Harry's own words against him at the end. It was nice to see it all go full circle. 

 

~Kaitlin

Author's Response:

Hey sweet stuff (cause of your username. I am not a creep)! 

 

I have to agree with you on that. It was hard for me to imagine Hermione as the old spinster too. I really don't see her as having a hard time meeting someone. She has a lot to offer as Ginny says but I kind of want to steer clear of the Hermione we know (or think we know) and try something different. I wrote this when I was annoyed with men (when am I not). I find dating to be extremely difficult. There are so many...ahh...interesting men out there and now I have to deal with online dating. I never thought I would be that person but when my boyfriend broke up with me an entirely new world opened up. Here, Hermione is essentially me. I know. I know. It's pathetic. I am the third wheel and I am the person with the bottle of wine that sits there and complains how she's going to die alone. 

 

On a daily basis too. (not always with wine that would be an entirely different issue) 

 

I enjoyed writing Justin! He was someone fun to play with. I think he knew he had to impress her early on or else nothing would have ever happened between them. I'm so glad you enjoyed my story. Thanks for the wonderful review!

Name: cambangst (Signed) · Date: 06 Apr 2017 09:38 PM · For: Wordsmith

Hi, Deeds! This story was awesome! It took me back to some of the comedy one-shots you've written where Ginny is desperate, Hermione is annoyed, Harry is sort of an enigmatic and put-upon figure and Ron is hungry. Except here, you've mixed up the roles. Harry is annoyed, Hermione is desperate and Ginny is the stalwart friend who's approaching the end of her rope. You put these characters in such neat situations and then capture their reactions brilliantly. And your comic timing is always spot on.

Ginny arched her eyebrow and then placed her wine bottle to her lips. She wasn’t drunk enough for that sort of line. -- Are you ever really drunk enough to hear your friend embrace life as a crazy cat lady and bemoan her lack of a suitable kitty-daddy?

Expect me to pay for five course meals these women! -- Gah! This is what I'm talking about. Your Ron Voice is perfect!

She was not picky. If anything she was selective and yes, there was a difference. -- Poor, pedantic Hermione. I love the way that she clings to being technically correct, even though it's not far from the root of her misery. Win the battle, lose the war.

Ha! I love Hermione's date with Neville. And Neville's Gram. Awkward. Hilariously awkward.

I love what you've done with Justin in this story! The way you characterize him: a little goofy, kind of shy but bubbling with personality under the surface... perfect! And Hermione is so unbelievable thick. This is the way people normally write Harry: totally oblivious to the advances of the opposite sex.

He had quite the nerve and a rather pointy chin. -- Hmmnn... I think I see what you did there.

I have to say, that was a great pep talk Ginny gave her. Pretty much exactly what she needed to hear. Nothing is more effective than a swift kick in the rear end from a good friend.

You have a nice, slow build going on through the middle part of the story. I think I know what's going to happened, but darned if I'm sure about it. I know you could throw me a curve at any moment. You're giving all the obvious signs that Justin is Wordsmith, but you could just be messing with me.

Nope, you weren't.

Aww! The two of them are so amazingly, painfully awkward with one another when the truth finally comes out. I think you did a great job of avoiding the cliche outcome here. You made Hermione's reaction very realistic, at least for Hermione. In a sense, he did violate her trust, but not for any malicious reason. He's lonely and scared and awkward, just like she is.

That was a pretty awesome scene in the rain at Justin's front door. Basically everything about it was wrong, which actually made it perfect. I hope that makes some sort of sense.

Sweet ending! Poor Harry. He is definitely the annoyed one in this story.

I don't think you're all that rusty, to be honest. This story was brilliantly done, perfectly paced and your dialog was superb. You captured all of these characters in such a fun way. I loved every line!

Author's Response:

Dan! 

 

I tried to go back to my roots with this one. What can I say? Actually this story was supposed to be for I think the random pairing challenge or some sort of challenge like that. I had a pairing and then my object or prompt included ginger candies. Very random, I know! I never did write more than the first one hundred words for the challenge. Six months later I felt inspired and this story came about. I really wanted to write Hermione in a different light. One where she's slightly neurotic, a bit funny and a bit...loose. I use loose as a compliment. She can come off as extremely stuffy in stories but I don't see her like that. I think she's probably stuffy 40% of the time. Now that I read this story it makes me laugh because I'm convinced I'm going to be like Hermione. I certainly whine like her too. Being single sucks! 

 

You know I do love writing my Ron. I love how he pops up here. He's a minor character in this story and yet he's vital to the story because he's the one that gets Hermione and Justin together. Ron knows her so well and I appreciate the fact that he's willing to go the extra mile when he sees that hey, maybe just maybe, Justin would be good for his friend. 

 

I think I definietly give Harry the short end of the stick in most of my stories. I swear I like Harry Potter! I just wanted to write about two painfully awkward people who found love and I'm glad to see my mission was accomplished. I'm so happy you enjoyed my story. Thank you as always for this amazing review! 

Name: Pixileanin (Signed) · Date: 14 Feb 2017 10:21 AM · For: Wordsmith

Hi Deeds!  I heard you had a new one-shot up and I had to come over and see what you were up to.  So glad to see you writing again!

This whole thing put a big smile on my face.  Everything was great.  Characters, Hermione's struggle, and above all, poor Justin, who had to solicit the help of Ron for advice.   The guy really went out of his way, and I'm so glad that things worked out for him.

It was cool that you made his attraction for her so obvious, yet Hermione stayed oblivious the whole time.  I love when the writer gives us information that the MC has yet to figure out, and makes it believable.  She was so wrapped up in herself that she couldn't see it.  Ack!  

Part of me was still rooting for her to get together with Ron, but Justin's character just wouldn't let go.  I loved how he had to come at her sideways with a little trickery, and how she told him in no uncertain terms that she didn't appreciate the trickery.  However, in the end, that didn't matter.  I just hope Justin likes Kneazles.  :P

You really made this whole thing a delightful mess.  The way Hermione pines and disupts Ginny and Harry's lives, her messy laments (stained shirts and all), answering the ads and ending up with bald, older men, and all of it.  It was a very fun read.  I don't think you're rusty at all.  Your descriptions were awesome.  In truth, I don't think I would have needed anything more than what you showed.  

I loved this!  So fun!

 

Pix

 

Author's Response:

Hi! Thanks so much for stopping by. I really struggled with writing this which is why Ron is sort of in there as matchmaker. I love writing Ron and Hermione so to write Justin and Hermione felt odd, like a betrayl! At the time I wrote this my boyfriend had broken up with me and for the first time in my life I found myself freaking out because I'm single and I have to do online dating because that's what everyone does. So those ads, just imagine being on social media and talking to these uhh...weirdos out there. The pressure would be tenfold because Hermione is Hermione Granger, extremely well-known. Harry and Ginny were included because I like to put Harry in uncomfortable situations as much as I can. Plus, it's believable to me to have her running to Harry and Ginny because she's not going to run to Ron to tell him about her woes (even though she does from time to time). Thanks so much for the wonderful review! :D