Name: Oregonian (Signed) · Date: 09 Mar 2024 05:23 AM · For: Chapter 14

Hi, Delaney.

 

This is an intereting chapter.  I like visualizing the setting, a shopping mall with Christmas decorations and Father Christmas.  And then the unexpected encounter with her ex-husband who attracts her attention by saying, "We meet again."  

 

It certainly sounds like a set-up, as she says later in the chapter, that he had been stalking her, following her, until he could get her alone (not with Emma and Bethany).  What he says is not violent -- "He probably doen't love you, like I never loved you." and "If he's a freak like our daughter, I doubt he has time for someone like you."  Scott is merely rubbing it in to her that he can find her anytime he wants to, and torture her with these negative statements about Oliver any time he wants to.  I was happy to see in a later chapter (I have read ahead, you see) that Christina did notify the police and that Scott had been picked up by them.  Apparently that was enough to stop his harrassment and menacing of Christina because we do not hear about any more episodes of it..  

 

I wondered about the lines at the end of the chapter, where Emma asks, "Are you going to tell Oliver?" and she answers, "I don't want him to worry about me.  I'm a big girl."  And then, "If it gets worse, I'll tell Oliver."  I think she should tell Oliver now, not because she's not a big girl, but because in a close relationship, people don't keep secrets from each other.

 

Vicki

Name: Oregonian (Signed) · Date: 09 Mar 2024 05:05 AM · For: Chapter 13

Hi, Delaney,

 

So now Christina has met Oliver's family.  I guess this means that everyone has met everyone's family.  How nice that, with one exception, Oliver's family all like and approve of Christina.

 

It's hard to figure out people like Oliver's cousin Michael.  He starts by needling Oliver, saying that Oliver took the easy way out by choosing a woman who already had a child instead of fathering one of his own.  That might be considered a very tasteless joke, but his next remark, "She'll probably dump you so that she can get back with her ex," is way, way over the line.  Why in the world would Michael want to attack his cousin and his cousin's girlfriend with insulting and false remarks?  Apparentlly Michael's family has seen this sort of behavior before.

 

Interesting that when Oliver and Christina get back to her parents' house and her father asks, 'How was meeting Oliver's family?" she says "It went well."  No mention of the altercation with Michael.  I guess that what you are saying here is that she decided to just let it roll off her back and fade away into the distance, like a mosquito bite or the prick of a rose thorn on one's hand.  No point at all in dwelling on it.  That is good.

 

I liked hyour final line which says, in part, "Part of her doesn't understand how she got so lucky with him." It's good that she appreciates how very lucky she is.

 

Vicki

Name: Oregonian (Signed) · Date: 09 Mar 2024 03:24 AM · For: I’ll Never Break Your Heart

Hi, Delaney.

 

This is a sweet domestic moment, almost like a rehearsal for married life somewhere down the line.  But it is understandable that Christina is reluctant to rush right into anything,given her traumatic experience with her first marriage.  Thinking back on that, it's significant that she and Scott were a romantic couple, at least at some level, ever since she was 13 years old.  She didn't get a lot of experience with relationships/dating many different people, as most of us do.  

 

So it is believable that he is much more ready to speed this relationship along its inevitable trajectory than she is.  She has to be really sure before committing herself again.

 

Nice little interlude.  Cooking food together is always something that brings people closer together, even if it's just toast with jam and tea,

 

Vicki

Name: Oregonian (Signed) · Date: 09 Mar 2024 03:05 AM · For: Halloween

Hi, Delaney,

 

I was hoping that you were going to tell us readers what Christina's modest Hallowe'en costume was, but i guess not. It was good to see a few old faces at the Weasleys' party.  Knowing Molly Weasley, I'm sure that there was a big buffet of all sorts of food, some with Hallowe'en themes, such as cookies in the form of bats, but even though you don't decribe it, it is easy to imagine.

 

So was Oliver really too tipsy to Apparate home safely, or was that a little bit of an excuse to stay overnight at Christina's house?  No, no, he's an honorable guy.  He would never try to pull a fast one.  But why did he step out of the shower boldly?  Just to show himself off?  He could have reached for the towel right away and wrapped himself in it, but he didn't.  He just stood there like Adam before the Fall and encouraged her to hold a conversation about it.  Maybe it was the liquor talking.

 

*big sigh*  Sometimes (no, often) I have no idea what's going on in men's minds. 

 

Vicki

Name: Oregonian (Signed) · Date: 09 Mar 2024 02:45 AM · For: What Do You Think of Us?

Hi, Delaney!  

 

Oh, Wow!  That was unexpected.  Scott is a thoroughly unpleasant guy.  And his remarks were pretty crude.  I wonder why he has shown up again in Christina's life.  Was it just a chance meeting at the restaurant, or does he want something from her?  Has he been stalking her?  

 

I can't think of anything he would want.  Maybe just to get back at her for divorcing him.  Some guys will do that. Is he going to try to damage her relationship with Oliver?  Or damage Oliver himself?  (That would be really dumb, and could land him in jail.)

 

Christina must have been somehat shaken after that unexpected argument with her ex-husband.  But she seems to have gotten over it pretty quickly because she can focus on Oliver, who is a much nicer guy, supportive and protective.

 

I will keep reading!

 

Vicki

Name: Oregonian (Signed) · Date: 09 Mar 2024 02:29 AM · For: More Hearts Than Mine

Hi, Delaney.

 

A very nice chapter.  I have noticed, as I read these chapters rapidly one after another, that your writing style haas improved greatly from the beginning of this story to the present point, and we're only about one quarter of the way through the story.  Looking foreward to reachng the final chapters!

 

Everything seems to be going well for Christina and Oliver.  They have been dating for about six months with no big bumps in the road, so I'm really curious about what is coming up for these two that will take 26 more chapters to finish off.

 

It was good to see more and more conversation about their backgrounds, and even the business about thinking that Harry was the Heir of Slytherin.  I like how you constantly pull little details about the canon story into your chapters.

 

That business about exchanging scarves was super-sweet.

 

Will keep reading...

 

Vicki

Name: Oregonian (Signed) · Date: 09 Mar 2024 02:07 AM · For: What Color Are My Eyes?

Hi, Delaney!

 

I really liked this chapter because everyone is behaving so reasonably that things are going well for everyone, and it's so nice to see how pleasant life can be if people just behave reasonably and considerately.

 

Bethany is beginning to ask a lot of questions about her biological father, and I can sympathize with Christina for not knowing exactly how to answer these questions.  Bethany seems to be a smart, perceptive little girl who can pick up a lot of things that are unsaid, or who can listen to and remember adult conversations when people don't realize that she's paying attention.

 

I liked the brief scene in the restaurant where Oliver gave some time and attention to a little boy who was a big fan, and then the boy's mother flat-out asked Oliver if he was single.  Pretty funny.  And a good set-up for their conversation later when Oliver says that women just want to go out with him because he's famous, but Christina is different.

 

An awful lot of romantic getting-to-know-you stuff was covered in this date.  It is as if (and it's probably true), that both of them are ready for a serious, permanent relationship with the right person.

 

I had to smile at the end of this chapter where Christina and her brothers are agreeing that Scottish accents are sexy, because in my WIP, "The Crofter and The Snake", Chapter 27, a third-year girl, who needs someone to read her textbook to her because she cannot hold the book in her injured hands, says, "I want Howard to read to me," and the others ask, "Why Howard?" and she replies "Because I like listening to his accent."

 

Vicki  :)

Name: Oregonian (Signed) · Date: 09 Mar 2024 01:44 AM · For: Chapter 7

He, Delaney!

 

I see that the plot just keeps chugging along.  It was a nice, unstressful, peaceful visit with the Weasleys at the Burrow.  Of course, there weren't as many people present as there are in some stories where all the Weasley children are present, with their spouses or significant others, plus some stray friends, so that it is a sort of a madhouse.

 

We don't know what went on in Oliver's mind between the moment when he stormed out of the restaurant and the present moment when he apologizes to Christina and asks to start over, and she says essentially the same thing.  But he shows himself to be a gentleman by doing this.

So there is hope for Christina that this relationship might be resurrected, at least until Oliver learns that she has a daughter from a previous marriage.  But if Oliver is willing to date Christina, even though she's a Muggle, he might be willing to accept Bethany, especially since she has magic.  I can understand Christina's being worried, nevertheless.  She hasn't been lucky in love so far in her short life.

 

A nice little flashback to end the chapter with -- Justin's story to Bethany about the day when he got his letter.  And this flashback isn't just dumped into the chapter -- it has a role to play as a bedtime story for a magical child.  Sweet.

 

Vicki

Name: Oregonian (Signed) · Date: 09 Mar 2024 01:21 AM · For: Chapter 6

Hi, Delaney.

 

Well, I see that Christina has belatedly figured out who her blind date was.  Will she get a second chance with him after the disastrous scene in the restaurant?  Her grandmother seems to be taking it all in stride.

 

I liked the final scene in the park, where Christina and Bethany meet Bill and Fleur and their daughter Victoire and good friend Teddy.  There are connections being made during this conversation, Bill being the brother of Ginny, who is Bethany's idol, Christina being a Muggle like Bill's brother's girl friend, Bill's father's interest in Muggle technology.  And it's perfectly in the nature of the Weasleys to welcome people to their house.  Christina doesn't seem to have had a lot of connection to the magical world (maybe her brother Justin didn't bring his wizard friends around to the house), so she is about to get a big dose of magical culture when she visits the Weasleys. 

 

We'll find out in the next chapter!

 

Vicki

Name: Oregonian (Signed) · Date: 09 Mar 2024 01:02 AM · For: Chapter 5

Hi, Delaney,

 

So now I know who Oliver's best friend is.  It's Percy Weasley.  The were both fifth-year Gryffindors during the year that Harry arrived at Hogwarts, so they knew each other well, even though Percy was a prefect and Oliver was a Quidditch star.  At this point in time, Percy has a girlfriend (Audrey) but Oliver is still unattached, althought the matchmaking grandmothers are busy.  

 

Percy know that Oliver has been writing to some woman named Christina, whom he hasn't met yet, and later, when Oliver arrives at the restaurant, he greets his blind date as "Christina," but he doesn't seem to connect the pen-pal and the blind date, even though they have the same name, "Christina."  Similarly, Christina has been informed, by the grandmother< I assume, that the nice young man she is being set up with is named "Oliver,", and she greets him by that name at the restaurant, but she also doesn't seem to connect the blind date guy with the guy she's been corresponding with, even though they're both named "Oliver."

 

I'm sure that each of them thinks to himself/herself, "What a co-incidence.  My blind date has the same name as my pen pal."  Now if one of them, during this getting-to-know-you minute, had said, "How odd.  Your name is the same as the person I've been corrresponding with about an injured owl," and the other one would have said, "That's more than odd.  It's the same with me," then they would have figured it out right away.  But they didn't.

 

I fault Christina for their tense misunderstanding, suggesting that Oliver was lying to make himself sound important.  If she didn't know what team he was on by his name, she shoud have just asked him, "Which team are you on?"   In his conversation with Percy, Olver speaks of girls throwing themselves at him, and he should have already had a good cover story all prepared for whenever somebody asked him what he did for a living. 

 

I am reminded of your story about Beatrice and her disastrous dates with Richard.

 

I had thought that maybe when Christina and Olver met face to face, they woud recognize each other from the Quidditch stadium some weeks ago.  But I guess not.  That would have been too easy.

 

We'll just hava to see how this plays out.

 

Vicki

 

Name: Oregonian (Signed) · Date: 09 Mar 2024 12:05 AM · For: Chapter 4

JHi, Delaney,

 

This is something of a sad chapter.  Christina losing interest in the boy she has been a couple with, for about four years, but then becoming trapped by an unplanned pregnancy.  This little flashback fills in a lot of the background of what you told us so briefly in Chapter 1.  I'm glad you saved the flashback until now, Chapter 4. after we have gotten to know the characters a little more (well. a lot more), instead of dumping it in during Chapter 2, or even, as you see sometimes, the tail end of chapter 1.  No, you have to get to know the characters more before you start inserting flashbacks.

 

So now I see that Oliver's good friend is Percy Weasley.  I wouldn't have paired up Christina with Percy, but you never know.  Allthough I'm sure Justin is correct in his suggestion that Oliver assumes Christina is magical since she uses an owl.  Percy would not want a Muggle wife -- he's too strait-laced -- , but who knows about Oliver?

 

I'm a little surprised that Oliver has kept up the correspondence.  He's surely a busy man.  Maybe he's a little bit interested for himself?  We shall see!

 

Vicki

Name: Oregonian (Signed) · Date: 08 Mar 2024 11:48 PM · For: Chapter 3

Hi, Delaney,

What a lucky coincidence that that Percy's owl Hermes, carrying a letter from Oliver to Percy (no doubt a reply to a letter that Percy had sent to Oliver), ended up in Christina's yard.  I don't suppose we'll ever know what happened to Hermes to cause an injury to him on his way back to Percy's house.

 

So this sets up this cute little back-and-forth correspondence between Christina and Oliver.  Of course neither of them knows who the other is, but I'm betting that Oliver is the handsome Scot that Christina bumped into at the  Quidditch match.  They won't realize that until the time comes (if it ever comes) when they meet in person.

 

I also wonder about Hermes.  Did he get taken to the vet, and what was his diagnosis and treatment, and is he getting better?  Oliver sounds as if he's trying to be a matchmaker for his best friend.  Who was his best friend?  I don't remember if we ever knew, in the canon books.

 

I will keep reading.

 

Vicki

Name: Oregonian (Signed) · Date: 08 Mar 2024 11:32 PM · For: Chapter 2

Hi, Delaney!

 

Here for chapter 2.

 

You have to have a little sympathy for Christina.  Her personal life is sort of complicated.  She has a good family, but maybe she was fated to be unlucky in love.  A Muggle marrying a Muggle -- what's complicated about that?  Nothing, until the recessive genes start showing themselves and she gives birth to a magical child.  Too much for Scott to handle, and now Christina thinks it would be too much for any man to handle -- a Muggle wife and a magical daughter.

 

This is an interesting set-up you have created.  And then we toss in some curious grandparents who are well-meaning and only want to be helpful.

 

Does Christina dare to hope that the handsome Mystery Man might be the one, if only she can ever find him again, and if he turns out to be not already taken?  I will keep reading!

 

Vicki

Name: Oregonian (Signed) · Date: 08 Mar 2024 11:17 PM · For: Chapter 1

Hi, Delaney,

 

I'veg seen this story slowly unfolding in the archive for what seems like a long time, and I've read a few of the opening chapters, but now during the Review Drive would be a good time to read a lot more and find out what happens to these characters.

 

You've given us a lot of backstory in really very few words and have introduced a fair number of characters, so I feel like I know them already.  Except for Scott, they seem like nice people, friendly, loving, outgoing.  It's cute to see that a child as young as Bethany, only four years old, is already an avid Quidditch fan, and not at all shy to approach her favorite Quidditch player.

 

I'm sure that we will see more of the nice man with Scottish accent that Christina accidentally bumped into at the Quidditch stadium.  Sounds like the start of a romance story!  

 

I'll keep reading in your story about Justin Finch-Fletchley's extended family, and the Mystery Man.  Sounds like fun.

 

Vicki