Name: RogueSlytherin (Signed) · Date: 16 Feb 2023 03:12 PM · For: v. shadow of ecstasy

We met this shiv character before and I didn't think anything of it, but now I'm realizing what a shiv is and how clever of a name choice that was. Again, always so fucking sharp with your words. So intentional with each of one them! I love drabbles for that. That you don't always need to draw out the whole plot and character dynamics and dialouge for a story to have impact. You've created a whole world here, full characters, this whole dynamic between the lead and the jackal and the lead and shiv. 

And I love the way you describe the world now, without the tain of streetlights, the way it all blends from wasteland to eternal sky, again drawing that contrast between temporal and forever, what's true and what's false. 

<3 Review Event <3 

Name: RogueSlytherin (Signed) · Date: 16 Feb 2023 03:06 PM · For: iv. real gods require blood

Wow Kris you've really knocked a lot of these out! I didn't realize how many chapters you've posted <3 So excited you found a muse again, I know it had been a while since you were writing and this is a wonderful project. Your voice is so clear throughout it in the way you use language and capture so much emotion and character immediately - you don't need a ton of words to make an impact.

The way you describe they're heart as feral as she serves the jackal and that she's in this religion that doesn't want absolution - the exact opposite of most religions in the world - the desperation for everyone else to feel the way they feel and suffer the way they've been made to. It's an understandable reaction to so must pain and loss and grief, but it still breaks my heart. 

 

<3 Review Event <3 

Name: RogueSlytherin (Signed) · Date: 16 Feb 2023 03:02 PM · For: iii. i'm glad i met the devil

A feral shadow of the desert. AHHHHHHH You have such an incredible way to put words together and just make my head explode. Seriously. This chapter especially has so many good lines that just play with language in the best and also most upsetting way. My heart breaks for their loss here. For the grief and despair they must be enduring and then it breaks all over again that they've fallen in with this jackal and taken up his cause because I don't think it will bring them the peace they're really looking for. Revenge is only going to plunge them deeper into the rage they've got - but that's what dealing with grief is. It's painful and it's never ending.

 

<3 Review Event <3 

Name: RogueSlytherin (Signed) · Date: 16 Feb 2023 03:02 PM · For: iii. i'm glad i met the devil

A feral shadow of the desert. AHHHHHHH You have such an incredible way to put words together and just make my head explode. Seriously. This chapter especially has so many good lines that just play with language in the best and also most upsetting way. My heart breaks for their loss here. For the grief and despair they must be enduring and then it breaks all over again that they've fallen in with this jackal and taken up his cause because I don't think it will bring them the peace they're really looking for. Revenge is only going to plunge them deeper into the rage they've got - but that's what dealing with grief is. It's painful and it's never ending.

 

<3 Review Event <3 

Name: RogueSlytherin (Signed) · Date: 16 Feb 2023 02:58 PM · For: ii. bloodsport

Gotta be honest. Not liking this jackal character - but that's sorta the point XD I feel like he's going to use this character for his own ends and they'll get betrayed again. That's what's so clearly driving them - I thought it from the first sentence, not even getting to the line about revenge yet. Just their rage, that obsession with traitors and satisfaction at thier blood. Love the way you've turned this theater into a church for their cult, the way you've twisted those two scenes together even. The performance of what's going on maybe? best line from this one is the syrupy poison, such a vivid description that immediately spoke to the heaviness and slow decay of the character listening to this violent rhetoric.

 

<3 Review Event <3 

Name: RogueSlytherin (Signed) · Date: 16 Feb 2023 02:53 PM · For: i. sedition is in the air

Wow. what an evocative piece. so much vivid description and world building happening in a very concise way. The way you draw it out to 'drip-drip-dripping' and also the repitition of snow white, angle white as if to level up how pure it was before these characters came along, making its destruction all the deeper. And the phrase cathedral of darkness oof! Just gives me shivers in the best way! 

I'm so curious about what else will come in this story - who is the jackal, why do they need revolution, why must it start with murder, who are these characters committing it? and this idea of false life vs real god - can't wait to read more. 

<3 Review Event <3 

Name: Crimson Quill (Signed) · Date: 16 Feb 2023 08:15 AM · For: i. sedition is in the air

 

hi,

 

here for mystery reviewing event. 

 

kris! this is gorgeous! so impressively written! I love this style of story that you've used a few times now. it's so brilliant how you tell these stories from the pov of almost unknown narrator, they don't need a name/physical description yet we know the deepest darkest inner most feelings and their perceptions of the world around them. you painted such gorgeous imagery and your narrator always come around so creative thinking and thoughtful. I like the backdrop of this dystopian setting and all these wildly vivid imagery of war that came before. in such a short words, you always able to pack a emotional punch which really does have me thinking about your pieces long after i've read them which is such a special skill as a writer. 

 

abbi x

 

Name: RonsGirlFriday (Signed) · Date: 16 Feb 2023 05:23 AM · For: iii. i'm glad i met the devil

more mountain murder mystery!

 

Now this feels very apocalyptic, and I love the reflection back to the way it all began, or perhaps the beginning of the end, or the end of what used to be, whatever stage in time that was, a past represented by her little sister, about to be destroyed by what's coming. That was so sad, the fear in her eyes and her last tear as a final sacrifice of water.. </3

Name: RonsGirlFriday (Signed) · Date: 16 Feb 2023 05:19 AM · For: ii. bloodsport

more mountain murder mysterry!

 

There's something that feels very... timeless? about this? Like it's very specific and vague in it's original fiction-ness, references very particular to whatever universe this is taking place in, and who these particular people are, but at the same time it's like, at its core, every war or conflict or revolution that's ever happened. With the imagery of ruins and bombs and warring faiths and leaders. There's an otherworldly current running through this scene that feels otherwise very much grounded in reality.

 

<3

Name: RonsGirlFriday (Signed) · Date: 16 Feb 2023 05:14 AM · For: i. sedition is in the air

Hi kris! Here for the mountain murder mystery.

 

Is it weird that one of the first things I thought about when reading this was Yellowjackets? It just feels like possible similar vibes to what they eventually descend into. Maybe with the references to deities and bloody coups and serving something otherworldly and blood as war paint feeling very feral, etc etc. "The jackal promised us a revolution."

 

Also "I will burn for ten days," what an opener! It feels like a reference to some kind of rebirth, baptism by fire, etc.

 

<3 Melanie