Name: Crimson Quill (Signed) · Date: 20 Feb 2023 10:08 AM · For: Chapter Four: Photos of Hermione Granger

 

hi,

here for murder mystery reviewing event :)

 

the letter was so emotional, i loved when she was asking questions with no hope of an answer really. she does know it but she wants to reach out so badly. it's interesting that she starts writing these letters from the moment shes met draco so it's like a little story of their life as well. how she was feeling, she does feel like an alive character in this because the letters are doing such a good job at showing how inner voice too.

 

all draco's memories really keep her as such a vivid character in this story. I like seeing it all unfold. it's not one of my most liked pairings so it's very interesting to see how someone else sees and can show me their journey as I struggle picturing it myself. I like how you've given draco this career and all your worldbuilding around this idea which really fleshes him out as a character and not just the role of hermione's husband. 

 

interesting that ron and luna seem to be in romantic relationship now. he's obviously having a tough time of things too but I'm enjoyed draco being brought into the friendship of harry/hermione a bit more now. i'm wondering how ron is doing though?? 

 

abbi xx

 

Name: Crimson Quill (Signed) · Date: 20 Feb 2023 09:38 AM · For: Chapter Three: Hermione's Funeral

 

hi,

 

here for the murder mystery reviewing event :)

 

this was always going to be an emotional chapter and you show how draco was feeling very well. you played that numbness and him letting things just wash over him in the funeral because he didn't feel like they knew hermione. he wasn't angry because he didn't know how to be properly. ginny sounds like she was doing a good job at keeping things together for everyones sake. it seems like draco is still an outsider from hermione's friends pov which is a little sad but maybe understandable that couldn't click.

 

I thought the scene with Draco, going to the hospital to see the girls again and learning a bit about looking after them was quite emotional. he thought it was going to be hermione by his side to help him parent. it was very tender scene that you created. bless him. I know he didn't want to read the next letter but I wonder if it'll help him or not. I'm interested to see whats inside.

 

Abbi xx

 

Name: Crimson Quill (Signed) · Date: 20 Feb 2023 09:28 AM · For: Chapter Two: Nightingales

Hi,

 

here for murder mystery reviewing event :)

 

this chapter really had two tones to do it. I liked the contrast of the sides here. i think the 'dream' seemed more like memory of his that he was looking back on. it was mentioned in the first chapter that it had been hermione's idea to have the birdbaths out there. it was such a vivid and sweet memory that i'm not surprised that draco didn't want to wake up. I love the banter between them about the cake and the baby names.

 

gosh, this second part was very emotional. draco was avoiding real life by living in dreams. i'm glad that his mother was there to try and help him realises his girls needed him. he gave them the names that Hermione had wanted which i think was the only way to go. I think he's still pretty mixed up about her death and not quite thinking straight because 'not letting her leave the house' wasn't really an option either. I liked that Albert came to see draco because it seems like he is going to need a good friend like him.

 

Abbi xx

 

Name: Crimson Quill (Signed) · Date: 20 Feb 2023 09:17 AM · For: Chapter 1: The First Letter

 

Hey!

 

i'm here for the murder mystery reviewing event :)

 

I thought this was such a sweet set up character to highlight their relationship and how they came to be. you open with such beautiful imagery with the birds singing outside their window. wonderfully played to create this 'all is right in the world' vibe draco feels.  i love the banter they have between them over the names and they seem so happy together. you can really see they've got give/take relationships in their differences so that's why they work. I think that's so wonderful. I think this really does highlight the angst of the ending of the chapter because hermione has known all along. that's so sad that she carried that alone.

 

I'm so interested to find out more about the prophecy and what it's greater purpose might be. I love how hermione set up these letters for him. that does seem in character that hermione would want to try and control the things that she could. she's never been big believer of fate so this seems like an insurance policy for her. i'll be interested to see how this develops. 

 

Abbi xx

 

Name: Oregonian (Signed) · Date: 19 Feb 2023 03:34 AM · For: Chapter Four: Photos of Hermione Granger

Hi, Ann.  Here for the FFT Review Drive.

 

Thanks for the note saying that you really do love Ron, despite his temporary insanity.  (I guess that's what it is.)  I gather from this story that Ron and Luna are a couple.

 

Hermione's Letter #2 seems harmless, no big revelations, but I like her line "These letters might come as a shock to you in the case that we actually don't get married."    Hermione seems to be quite undecided as to whether to believe Trelawney's predictions or not.  So apparently she has decided to hedge her bets.  She'll write the letters with the charms on them, and then if she dies before Draco does, (whether that be soon or in the far distant future) the letters will start arriving to him.  That could feel freaky or silly to him, depending...

 

I see that you have decided that Draco will slowly be getting back to a more normal life, now that he has his daughters at home and his job back on track again.  And making a big album of pictures of Hermione is a constructive project that will keep him occupied for a long time.

 

But you leave us with a cliffhanger.  What has Ron done now that makes Luna want to leave him?  It sounds like he needs some serious therapy and rehab.  It's too bad that Draco's recovery from his wife's death has to be complicated with Ron's strange behavior.  I wonder how this story will turn out.  One letter per week is 52 letters per year.  I wonder how many Hermione got written before her untimely death.  A few years' worth?  There could be a lot of personal history in there!

 

Intersting twist to the usual Draco/Hermione love story!

 

Vicki

Name: Oregonian (Signed) · Date: 19 Feb 2023 02:44 AM · For: Chapter Three: Hermione's Funeral

Hi, Ann,  Here for the FFT RReview Event.

 

This chapter has a steady, controlled feel to it.  Nothing is happy, but the mood level is for the most part even, a reflection of Draco's strong attempt to 'keep things together.'

 

Things that stood out for me: Draco's strong desire not to be seen crying, although he couldn't pull that off perfectly.  The extent to which Ginny took charge to make the arrangements and her ability to make things go smoothly and according to plan.  Ron's surprising alcohol abuse when no one else seemed to be drinking that much, and his drunken accusations against Draco both at the funeral service itself and later at the family dinner.  Ginny's handling of Ron after his drunken remarks at the funeral. And finally, taking a cue from Ginny, Draco's prompt declaration that the party was over after an even drunker Ron trash-talks Draco at the dinner party.

 

Reading that previous paragraph, one might wonder why I said the chapter had a steady, controlled feeling.  But it does.  People (except for Ron) are doing their best under difficult circumstances.  I like Draco's thought during the funeral service: "It amazed me how strong she [Ginny] was being with losing Hermione."

 

This story is an example of how life can just be hard sometimes, and getting through the shadows takes time and effort and patience.  I hope that the weekly letters will be a help for Draco.

 

Godd story, good job.

 

Vicki

Name: Oregonian (Signed) · Date: 19 Feb 2023 02:09 AM · For: Chapter Two: Nightingales

Hi, Ann.  Here's another review for the FFT Review Event .  

 

Like the first chapter of this story, this chapter also is a little gem.  The dream sequence is lovely for several reasons; the cake-baking sequence doesn't turn into a giant mess (those stories in which the cooking turns into a giant mess all over the floor and the counters and the cooks themselves always sound fakey; cooking isn't that hard), we see Hermione loving the birds and asking to have birdhouses and birdbaths, and when Draco wakes up and realizes he's just been dreaming, he wants to go back to sleep because real life is too hard to face.  A very realistic touch -- people do want to escape their troubles by falling asleep.

 

A good action sequence follows.  I like how you wrote two parallel sentences: "He said it would teach me skills to hit a bludger in Quidditch.  Well, now I guess it is giving me skills to hit a birdhouse."  Not just telling a story, but also putting a cadence into the lines themselves.  Smashing the birdhouse, over and over, and shouting "Shut up, shut up" over and over are wonderful ways of showing Draco's anguish.  No one seeing and hearing him at that moment would doubt what he was feeling.

 

The hospital scene is concise and pithy, like all your writing. Draco gowns up and holds the babies and gives them names and just sits there holding them until he has to leave.  The scene in his office also covers a lot of ground in few words. Draco's torturing himself with "If only.." and "What if..." but his colleague tells him to go home, that he shouldn't concern himself with work or blame himself.  I'm really impressed by your way of making all these important points throughout this chapter by saying just the few words that need to be said, with no wandering around pointlessly or repetitiously.    Your chapters could be a lesson for writers who tend to be too verbose.

 

It is good to see that Draco is beginning to move forward, taking little baby steps, and that his family, especially his mother but also his friends, are so supportive.

 

It will be interesting to see how the subsequent letters affect him.

 

Good story.  Thank you for writing.

 

Vicki

Name: Oregonian (Signed) · Date: 18 Feb 2023 11:32 PM · For: Chapter 1: The First Letter

Hi, Ann.  I'm here to start reviewing your interesting story for the FFT Review Event.

 

There are probablly a fair number of Draco/Hermione stories in the fanfic world, but this one seems to be kind of different.  Hermione is dead, but letters from her, written during the months and years between the time she received the prophecy from Professor Ttrelawney and the day she died, are coming automatically to Draco, her bereaved husband, every week.  That's kind of an unusual idea for a story.

 

You have packed a lot of backstory into this relatively short first chapter.  Hermione''s love of birds, the loving relationship between Hermione and Draco as they await the birth of their babies, their debate about names, a brief but vivid glance at Draco's work and his ties with his alchemical friends in Egypt, the sudden automobile accident, the desperate scene in the hospital, the totally unexpected arrive of Letter #1, and Draco's realization that his wife is dead.

 

All of this flows very well, not sounding choppy at all.  You have picked out a small but carefully chosen array of details for each of these mini-scenes within this opening chapter, to make us understand all of them.  And all of them have the possibility of enlarging themselves into more expansive scenes in future chapters.

 

A nice beginning chapter that draws us firmly into the story and promises that the future chapters will be  unexpected but meaty. I enjoyed reading it.

 

Thank you for writing!

 

Vicki

Name: RonsGirlFriday (Signed) · Date: 17 Feb 2023 11:57 AM · For: Chapter 1: The First Letter

Hi! I'm here for the review event to check out this fic :)

 

This is such a great premise/idea (though very sad of course). It reminds me of that movie PS I Love You.

 

After the joyful, idyllic beginnings of this chapter, it comes as such a surprise when not only the letter appears, but we learn that Hermione has known this all along. Not just all along during her pregnancy, but all along during their entire relationship. I imagine Draco will be grappling with a lot of emotions knowing she kept this from him (but of course, how could she have told him??? He would have just been miserable.)

 

It's a shocking way for Draco to learn that she's died, but I don't know, maybe it's better this way than to find out from the doctor. He gets it in Hermione's own handwriting, in her own "voice," delivered with love. <3