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'Snowball SPLAT' is really encryption for "so much magical detail!" It's really interesting and I like that his parents had the good sense to make sure they had a secure way to communicate with their son. One of the main problems I have with how people write, or movies/tv is that parents are too oblivious.
I'm really curious why Neville and Seamus are so nervous about Howe and why they're being so secretive. I get they don't know him, but he was sorted into Gryffindor. I just haven't seen this side of them, I suppose it is really hard on them so many people in their dorm left. I have to say I wouldn't have thought of the effects of that, but it would be disorienting huh?
-Heather
Author's Response:Hi, Heather! I see that you are getting into the spirit of encryption also :) Thanks for the translation -- I would never have guesssed your code.
I agree with you about when you say that oblivious parents can become an annoying trope. There are plenty of ways to create tension in a story without making your characters annoyingly clueless.
I try to put myself into Neville's and Seamus's shoes and imagine what they would think and feel if suddenly a complete stranger, apparently congenial (but you never know what's lurking in his heart) is suddenly plunked down in your midst. Is he a spy or a pure-blood fanatic? Probably not if the Hat put him in Gryffindor rather than Slytherin, but you never know for sure... Or maybe he's just a clueless country bumpkin, and if you told him anything in confidence he'd probably blab it all over the school in his ignorance. Neville and Seamus are facing some serious shit, and if they think that Howard in his ignorance might be a liability to them, they're probably right. I don't think they've thought this through yet, given that they had no idea that they would be getting a brand new 7th-year boy.
But luckily Howard, with David's good advice, is going to try to break the ice himself and initiate the open conversation and the open relationship. It was a gamble on Howard's part -- it might or might not have worked -- but it did. It's going to be a challenging year for everyone.
Thank you so much for continuing to read and review this story!
Vicki <3
Snowball!! Splat!
This was a cute chapter. I'm surprised by how outgoing Howe is, I would have thought since he lived in a secluded area he'd be shier. It was nice dropping in on random students since we don't see any interactions outside Gryffindor House very often, except when they created DA.
I get the feeling like the other new students are like Sheep to Howe. He got the lay of the land and was anxious that they were all doing ok in their houses and made sure they knew where they were going so they wouldn't get lost. Very similar to how I feel he'd be around his sheep at home and that's really sweet of him.
The only constructive criticism here is about dialog. It sometimes reads like a list, that they did this, went there and talked to this person etc... Maybe consider mannerisms and emotion when writing dialog, it might help them speak a little more authentically?
I feel like this was how they want Hogwarts to be like here and it's all going to come crashing down when they start classes... sigh.
Good job, happy snowball fighting! (I actually can now, there's finally snow on the ground!)
Author's Response:These snowballs are really splatting! Thank you for reviewing this chapter and saying that it was cute. Howard is still under tension, of course, but trying to maintain a calm face, and he knows that the faster he meets people, the better it will be for him, so he forces himself to 'put himself out there' and strike up conversations.
Yes, he does see the other home-schooled students as if they were his sheep for whom he is voluntarily taking some responsibility. I don't think you could be a sheep-raiser without learning to automatically keep track of your animals' wellbeing. Luckily, so far, so good in that regard.
I had to smile at your constructive criticism because it was like a voice from out of my past. When I was taking the creative writing curriculum at the local college some years ago, my instructor in Creative Writing - Fiction 1 & 2 got on me for the same thing. I would draft long sections of dialogue between two or three characters, just dialogue, nothing of what he termed 'embodiment' (physical actions, looks on faces, all the little things that break uo the dialogue), and when I was finished with a page of pure dialogue, which I wrote fast in order to capture the flow, then I would go back and insert bits of embodiment here and there in the dialogue, like tucking bits of apples between slices of ham at a holiday feast, so that he would be happy when he read it. Some of the embodiments I tucked in were actually meaningful and useful to make the scene more vivid, but I'm afraid that some of them, including some that I never did improve, were just filler. It's always been a challenge for me to do this job well, making sure that there's enough embodiment but not too much, and making sure that what I do put in is contributory to the story. So thanks for the observation, and I will keep working on it. I'm better than I used to be in this regard.
I liked your observation "...this is how they want Hogwarts to be like..." and "...it's all going to come crashing down..." Yes, this is 1997-1998, after all. Gonna be bad.
I'm glad that you are enjpying the story. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing!
Vicki
Hi Vicki! I’m up to your last posted chapter! How exciting!
Okay, here we go. Bad things have gotten worse. I’m feeling the change with your first line. And detention for homework seems like a bit extreme, alright. I’m glad Belinda’s house is supporting her in this, and it’s good that the boys are telling her what detentions used to look like, but Howard is right. It’s not going to be the same, especially with the Carrows involved. You built up a lot of tension, with all of the Gryffindors hanging on the ticking clock, waiting to see what would happen.
Oh gosh, that’s awful! I think they timed that punishment for those kids to not be able to stop the pain that night. I’m hoping someone has the solution to it in the common room, and I was gritting my teeth, just like Howard, when everyone told him that they never took care of injuries themselves away from the Hospital Wing. I bet they’re going to get themselves an emergency kit very soon after this! This was a great detail to throw in to show how dire the situation is, and you wrote it so well that I felt the anguish of the other students through the screen!
It seems odd that Pomfrey only sent a note back without any assistance. I wonder if she feels like she would be punished for overextending her help to the students… probably so. I really liked the idea to Accio the owl!
Wow! Having the can Transfigured to something else was a really awesome idea, and having it heat up during the transformation was another great way to show how potentially dangerous Howard’s spell is. I’m so relieved that it didn’t explode!
Awww, that was cute that Belinda likes Howard’s accent!
This was a fantastic moment, where the Sorting Hat’s words finally are making sense to Howard, where he’s finding his place in the weird, backwards world that he’s been thrown into. These students are going to have to raise their diligence level - prepare for unknown threats - and protect their own now. If this happened to Belinda so early in the year, it’s only going to get worse. No wonder Howard was sleepless after all of that!
This was really tense writing, with all of the worries being brought to life - where the danger becomes a reality. And it’s worse than Howard had ever realized.
Awesome chapter!
Pix
Author's Response:Hi, Pix. I'm so happy to get a review for Chapter 27. Thank you very much!
Now the Gryffindors are seeing what's really 'behind the curtain.' And the students are just going to have to deal with it. There's only so much that they can do to protect themselves, and the staff are between a rock and a hard place, and who knows what's going on in Headmaster Snape's mind. Traditionally Snape didn't have much love for most of the students anyway, but I don't think he would ever have carried his ill-treatment of them to the lengths that the Carrows are obviously willing to go. Maybe he just hopes that none of them will be killed or permanently injured while he is being forced to play his charade.
I don't know what Madam Pomfrey customarily used for severe pain. Perhaps it was not a potion that an owl could have carried, but rather some particularly powerful spell which the kids have not learned how to do, something that wizards learn when they take the Healers curriculum after leaving Hogwarts. And that's an interesting suggestion of yours, that she might be the target of the Carrows' ill-will if she was quickly and completely able to undo the effects of what the Carrows did to the students.
Having the can explode when Howard tried to transfigure it would certainly have ratcheted up the tension a bit more, so maybe I'll tuck that idea away to use later on in the story when things are going even farther downhill. It looks as if Howard, though he may be a bit behind the other Hogwartians in certain magic skills, is spot on with tranfiguration. Perhaps that's partly due to his wand, which has been passed down in his family for generations, gaining knowledge, experience, and power (to the extent that the semi-sentient wand can do so) beyond what is possessed by the other students' wands, which were purchased brand-new from Olivander's shop no more than six years ago and which are relatively inexperienced.
When the Sorting Hat made its decision about Howard's placement on the night of the Opening Feast, Howard had no idea how his magical experiences and skills compared to those of the other students who had not grown up on the fringes of the wizarding culture. But by now he is seeing the differences, and if ever he was a little bit in awe of all these traditionally trained students, that awe is pretty much evaporated now. Maybe he's being a little harsh in his judgment of them at this moment, maybe he's disappointed in what he has witnessed... Well, there's still a lot of this academic year yet to come.
Thank you for saying that this chapter was awesome! Glad you liked it.
Vicki
Hey, Vicki, this was a really really good chapter. Your pacing is excellent and made for an exciting read. You were able to unfold things so gradually that when we see what the DEs did to Belinda's hands there's real shock value; stinging hexes were an effective choice for really vile baddies to use. Howe's thought process and solution were also well told (and very clever), and the continued teamwork involving many of the students from various years makes things feel much more relatable. Finally, as Howe winds down from the day his realization that he may have discovered what the Hat meant about sorting him where he was needed most was beautifully crafted. Thanks for another excellent experience reading this.
George
Author's Response:Hi, George!
I hope you had a good vacation, and thank you so much for this review. It is the first review for this chapter, and I was eager to see what people thought of it. I'm glad that you thought the pacing was good and the chapter was exciting. We needed to see to what vile depths these baddies could stoop.
I worried that readers would think I was turning Howard into some kind of Superman, but really it was just an extension of how he approaches magic as a useful tool for one's daily needs, but not the answer to everything. He is upset, angry, frustrated, thinking desperately of what to do, risking splattering shrapnel all over the common room... but he takes charge because he feels that he must, and manages to come up with a temporary solution, utlizing what we now call the Wisdom of Crowds, although I doubt that that phrase was in use in 1997. He needed to do what he did, in order to lead into his realization that he might be beginning to understand what the sorting hat meant. This after having been mystified about it for 25 chapters; I was afraid that the readers would be tired of Howard's constant wondering about what he was needed for.
There were a few mild four-letter words here. That's about as profane as you'll ever see me get; more is not necessariy better, at least not until we come to the Battle of Hogwarts.
:) <- Big smile
Vicki
It is so scary to think of the Dark Arts class in this year. It was one of the crazy, dark things in canon that really disturbed me. I expected the Death Eaters to do dastardly things, but to have the students being exposed to that sort of thing in a school was terrifying. I’m also wondering why Howard wasn’t put into the Dark Arts class, but Neville’s explanation makes sense. Though I think that if Howard were in the Dark Arts class, this story would turn out very differently. I can’t see Howard putting up with torture or being mean just because someone tells him to, and he’d probably have served quite a few unpleasant detentions by now and have a very different mindset about his whole experience. I’m glad you’ve sheltered him from that sort of experience so far. But still, the reports from the other students are very upsetting.
Ha! I wonder what Seamus and Neville will think of their assigned roles in the play!
And this is so nice that Tracey brought her own pictures Friday morning! Despite the levity, Tracey has some real concerns. I hope she doesn’t get any backlash from dropping the class. I don’t know what the procedures are for doing so, but I’m guessing that it’s different from years past. I’m glad she has Howard to talk to about this. She’s definitely going to need support.
And oh no! I mean *fist bump*. But yeah, if the fire in Alecto Carrow’s office happened, there’s got to be something coming down soon enough.
Fwoopers, huh? No, I don’t want to hear them sing, either Hagrid. But Howard, now you KNOW about the fwooper, and if you see one, you’ll know to plug your ears straight away. Knowledge is power, my friend.
Joel has big plans to travel the countryside! That sounds so fun and idyllic, but I’m sure its reality is a long way off from right now. I’m so happy that Howard has someone to grow a bond with at school! Joel really does seem like a good kid, and it’d be great if they both stay in touch after whatever this year brings them.
That conversation in the common room was highly necessary to make sure everyone stays as safe as possible when things start happening. I don’t think they’ll be able to dodge punishments for too much longer, but they’re trying their best and being careful, and talking about it does help. Good for them. But I worry. I’m glad they’re thinking about the little kids, too.
Such a tense chapter!
Pix
Author's Response:Hi, Pix.
Thank you so much for this lovely review. I was afraid that it would sound like a mish-mash of a variety of scenes, but I'm glad that it worked for you. I liked your observation that you can't see Howard putting up with torture or being mean just because someone tells him to, and he'd probably have served quite a few unpleasant detentions by now. So true.
I don't know what they'd think of their assigned roles in the play, but they will surely give it their best.
I think that Tracey will be okay with dropping the Dark Arts class. it's not mandatory, like Muggle Studies, which no one would be allowed to drop. And she will have Professor Slughorn's backing if anyone tries to give her grief. We know that Snape won't oppose it.
I loved your advice to Howard about the Fwooper bird. "Knowledge is power, my friend."
Joel's plans to travel the countryside someday doing historical research on the adobos of 1348 have such a hopeful air about them, a belief that someday this craziness will all be over. But for those living in the present times of this story, it might be hard to be hopeful.
Yes, things are getting more and more tense. It's not a game or a lark or a series of Marauder-type pranks. It's becoming deadly serious. Hard for the sudents, hard for the faculty (not counting the Carrows, of course), and even hard for Snape, knowing what he knows and seeing what he sees.
Thanks for being a loyal reader.
Vicki <3
Hello again Vicki!
I really enjoyed this chapter. Seamus and Neville were good to see, and it gives me hope that Howard is going to be a great help this year to them and in regards to standing up to the tyranny closing in on them. I think there was a lot more balance, too, between his inner monologue and events happening around him, and it felt more like being at home in Hogwarts again, with students we recognize and Snape's speech, and the fact that it's not Howard alone anymore with questions, because Snape dropped a lot of new information for returning students, too.
Can you imagine being in Ravenclaw or Gryffindor and having to walk up that many steps every day just to get to sleep? Oof! hahaha
I felt like every canon character that we are already familiar with from the series felt very authentic. I love seeing Neville with more confidence and leadership, but still feeling like Neville - he's grown so much and I'm excited to watch him from Howard's POV as he fully becomes the Neville we know by the end of the books.
I'm surprised Howard went to a Muggle school at some point. He's obviously not Muggle-born, but perhaps he's half-blood? And the Muggle parent felt it was important he be educated on both ends? I've never seen a witch or wizard be educated in both after they turned eleven (if strictly Muggle-born), so that's interesting. But also, it's one of those things that never really gets covered in canon, because reading and writing and math are all important things to have basic education in before turning eleven years old, and it's never really established how wizarding families educate their kids before Hogwarts on those things, but surely they must!
Snape I felt was very spot on. He had that balance of reserved authority about him - where he feels quite threatening without actually having to make threats outright, but these are the rules and you'd best follow them, you do not want to cross me on this.
I'm not sure what I think of Howard's magical education level - he said his OWLs were easy and he knew the answers, but he doesn't seem to understand some pretty basic tricks, like how to get dog hair off his clothes. I suppose we'll see where he gets placed soon enough!
Anyway, well done, another great chapter! :-D
Author's Response:Hi, Tanya!
I'm happy that you enjoyed this chapter also. Howard has finally gotten to a point where he is not just a figure of curiosity to be stared at by everyone, but he can actually carry on a conversation with people who will be his new school mates. Thus you see "more balance," and Howard probably does also, after the surrealistic moments he has been living through.
I'm also happy that you approve of my depiction of the canon characters whom we already know. It is true that as the years go by and they naturally become more mature, their behavior and self-expression will change a little bit also, even as their basic personalities remain the same. We all love Neville (I don't think he has a mean bone in his body).
Later in the narrative you will read more about Howard's life on Skye, but it wouldn't really be a spoiler to tell you now about some of the things you are wondering about. Howard has attended the local Muggle schools on Skye all his life. If he had not come to Hogwarts (or I should say 'been forced to attend Hogwarts"), he would have been in his final year at the high school in Portree. His blood status is revealed in a later chapter where he is discussing the meaning of blood status with Tracey Davis. (He is not accustomed to people paying attention to 'blood status' or caring about it.) He asks her what "pureblood" means, and she says that it means that your parents and grandparents were all witches and wizards. He says, "I guess I qualify on that score..." Wizarding children in the Scottish Isles customarily remain at home, attend Muggle schools for the practical education they provide, and are taught magical skills at home by their parents. I don't know that there is any fixed age for that to begin. They receive Hogwarts invitations at age eleven, but it's not their custom to accept the invitation; their own system works fine for them. Wands are typically not bought brand-new for each child at Ollivander's, but are passed down through the family generations as heirlooms. Thus the description of Howard's wand when he holds onto it while listening to Snape give his insulting speech. So I guess that it is not a matter of "the wand chooses the wizard" but of "the wand has already chosen a family line."
The wizards and witches in the Scottish Isles have one foot firmly planted in the Muggle world and one in the wizarding world. They are very practical-minded about it and not immersed in the 'wizarding culture' to the exclusion of everything else. This duality gives them a lot of personal power.
You are not the only person to wonder why Howard didn't Scourgify the dog hair off his robes. He knows the Scourgify charm (it's a pretty basic one), and getting dirty while working on a croft would be a daily occurrence. And as for dog or cat hair in the house, everyone who has a pet knows that that's a perpetual clean-up challenge. So Howard assumes that when he was packing at home in the dim evening light of August 30, he just didn't notice the dog hair (the black hairs won't show up but the white ones will), and he didn't deal with his robes again until the last few minutes of the train trip, when the students are putting on their robes in the dimly lit train cars, and he will not see the dog hairs when he is outside because it's late dusk, and once in the Great Hall he's looking all around at everything except the front of his robes. By the time he is the last person to be sorted, and he looks down at his robes in the bright light of the Hall and sees the dog hair, he's stuck. He can't pull out his wand and Scourgify his robes with everyone watching, so he just has to hope no one notices. When Howard finally takes his seat at the Gryffindor table and Neville kindly cleans off the dog hair, he holds his wand under the table while doing it because Neville also does not want anyone to see him doing it.
Hopefully you feel a little more reassured about him now. Perhaps it's hard to convey all the characteristics of an atypical character without resorting to a large info-dump early in the story, which we don't want to do, but more and more about him will be revealed as time goes by.
Thank you so much for this lovely review, and for caring about one of my most beloved characters.
Vicki
Hello again Vicki! Here for chapter two!
Okay, I have to just jump to the star of the show here, which is the sorting hat song! I loved that! You wrote an excellent version! It sounded exactly like what I would expect the sorting hat to sing about in the books during this final and most crucial year as the war builds and the divide widens. Honestly, this could have come straight from the author herself, it was so authentic. Well done!
The chapter as a whole was very good, too. I like your descriptions of the school a lot, and it's interesting - as I mentioned in my last review - to see Hogwarts for the first time through the eyes of an older person. I also like the idea of the home-schooled student's years being determined not by their ages, but by their education levels. I did wonder if they wouldn't struggle greatly, having probably followed a very differnt curriculum than the Hogwarts students. Will be fun to see where Howard places!
You have definitely found yourself a very distinct voice with Howard. His internal monologue is really unique compared to many characters I've read before, and I don't think you'd confuse him with someone else if you did somthing like change POV for a chapter, because he has such a specific way of thinking, that I can't imagine confusing him with another character. I was surprised to see him in Gryffindor, simply because I just assumed Slytherin in my last review, and also becasue his voice and his endless curiosity and need to solve any puzzle he seems to spot (how's the sorting hat talk? I'd bet that last table wears red! oh, I can definitely figure out the pattern the sorting hat is using in order to place us, etc) made me think maybe Ravenclaw instead, but I love the sorting hat's explanation for why he is in Gryffindor either way: he could belong in any of the houses and do just fine, as he is already practically grown and more well-rounded as a human than one can be at just eleven, so instead let's put him where he is needed!
Anyway, really great foundation again, because I still feel like I don't know where this story will take the readers, and I love that! Like, who is the girl staring at him and why? It will be fun to see the sort of role he takes on in Gryffindor, too. He has this personality that is both a little bit brash and quick to dismiss, but also a leader who probably doesn't want to be told what to do, but wants to do the telling, while also being very protective of anyone he's decided to look out for. I wonder how he'll fit in with the Gryffindor's we know to be at the school still this year.
Great job!
Author's Response:Hi, Tanya!
I'm so glad that you liked this chapter. It is always fun to write poetry, and I have a fair amount of it on my AP. If you're bored sometime, you can troll through it. :) I imagine that the home-schooled students did not all have the same experience. Howard thinks of the textbooks he used in his home-schooling, the same ones that are used at Hogwarts, plus some additional ones, but we do not know what educational materials the other home-schooled students used at home, so we don't know yet how much they will be struggling. This question is addressed briefly in a further chapter (#25, I think).
I have modeled Howard on some young men of roughly his age whom I have known in my lifetime, who were notably mature, responsible, and self-assured, compared to other boys their age. (In fact, one of them was named Howard, which is probably why I unconsciously chose that name.) He is also a farm kid, and kids who are raised on farms develop maturity and reponsibility at an earlier age than more pampered kids do. They assume adult tasks and are held to adult standards at a young age. These qualities probably contribute to what you perceive as a very distinct voice. Although he is an OC, I have known him for a long time, over ten years. His experience of growing up as a wizard in the unique wizarding culture of the Scottish Isles has molded him into what you see now and will be seeing in the upcoming chapters.
Your description of his personality, as you state it in the final lines of your review, is spot on. It makes me so happy to know that you have understood him exactly as I intended. Hopefully those upcoming chapters will not disappoint.
<3 <3 Vicki
hi Vicki, I'm here for a snowlodge gift!
I think they're burning of the essays is definitely a good way to keep the students engaged in the purpose, and switching it up is a great idea. I can totally see the rebelliousness build in Gryffindor House in this first scene, and it's quite believable. I think the thing that makes it really settle in for me is that quick aside that Howard and Neville have. Howard comments on his showmaking skills, and it's clear that Neville is taking this very seriously.
OOOHhhh that little scene between Tracey and Howard was so tantilizing. I love that they're sharing their families with each other. That's such a great bonding experience. You can also see how much Howard enjoyed the meeting when he's giddy about having that little secret from Professor Sprout.
It's also nice to hear that someone else sees that Howard is making an effort to make sure the other transfers are okay. He is clearly trying his best and frustrated by the lack of leadership in the school. I wonder what he'll do with this final realization? Maybe he'll feel a bit more empowered to do what he wants and help out the Gryffindors a bit more.
We'll see!
Cat
Author's Response:Hi, Cat
Thank you so much for this Snowlodge gift! These poor kids have so much on their plates. Trying to do their schoolwork while riding herd on all the younger children in their House, and now also trying to protect them from danger and harm. And this pervasive feeling of dread that hangs over everyone, sometimesmore pronounced, sometimes less so, but always there.
You speak of the rebelliousness built into Gryffindor House. We readers, being familiar with Harry's story, probably take this rebelliousness for granted, but it's interesting to think of how the level of rebelliousness, expressed outwardly or inwardly, would have varied among the four Houses. I doubt that Howard ever assumed, before arriving at Hogwarts, that he would be required to take a leadership role. After all, he's the complete newbie in the Seventh Year, but now he's taking the first tentative steps in that role, just with the other transfer students at first, but who knows how much more he will be called upon to do? The more he sees and experiensed at the school, the more he will realize what he needs to do.
I'm glad that you are enjoying this story.
Vicki <3
Hello hello! What an intriguing concept! And one I could definitely see having been put into action in canon. I think you have a great foundation here, full of potential for which direction this story could go. It's interesting, because this chapter doesn't give very much away - we don't even know which house Howard will be sorted into yet - which means anything, really, could happen here. I suspect he'll end up in Slytherin, simpy because of the title and that I know you're a Slytherin, but even if I assume that assumption to be fact, I still couldn't tell you who I think Howard will turn out to be, or what his role during this crazy year at Hogwarts may turn out to be. Is he a good guy? A bad guy? An easily manipulated guy? Does he even know what's going on in the wizarding world beneath the surface, or has he been so far North on such an isolated island, home-schooled and sheltered, that it's all a mystery to him? And if that's the case, whose side would he take or believe or support once he learns? These questions are what I mean when I say great foundation with potential for this story to take any direction. I also found your writing very descriptive and visual, and it was very cool seeing Hogwarts for the first time through an older person's eyes. Howard is certainly a curious person with a lot of questions, and he should be a very interesting character to follow, as well! Great start!
Author's Response:Hi, Tanya!
I saw today that you had completed the December Forum Challenge by writing reviews of first chapters of many authors' stories. Thank you so much for including me in your list of authors thus honored!
In these first chapters we are just getting to know Howard, and he is starting to get to 'know' (if that can possibly be the right word) Hogwarts. As we see this strange, unknown place through his eyes, everything is unique and noteworthy to him, completely different from the place and culture he comes from, and I try to show his -- what shall we say? -- bewilderment, insecurity, desperate need to orient himself as quickly as possible, attempts to figure out what's going on in this strange place. So the chapter is a stream of consciousness of what's going on in his mind. I am sure glad I am not in his shoes right now. When a new class of first-year students arrives every September, at least they have one another for support -- they're all thrown into it together -- but Howard doesn't have that. He's pretty much alone, trying to support the other home-schooled students, but who's supporting him?
I like how you have listed all the possibllities about what kind of person Howard might be and what direction his story might take. That's pretty analyical of you!
Yes, I try to make my stories visual without overloading the chapters with unnecessary detail that just obscures the story line. It's a skill I have worked on, over the years, and I'm better at it now than I was when I first started writing. It's a delicate balance. I have learned a lot, what to do and what not to do, by reading other authors' stories. And the screenwriting courses that I took at the local college helped a lot in teaching me how to make my stories visual. So I hope it is working for you!
Thanks again for venturing into my story. I hope that, even as you work so diligently on Lying Josephine, you'll have a spare moment here and there to dip back into Howard's story. No need to write reviews; I know you're busy! It's enough for me just to see the read-count numbers going up! :)
<3
Vicki
Hi Vicki! Here for our swap :)
The adobes continue to be a big mystery to us, and I don't think we're any closer to unlocking it. We still aren't sure why they were sent to Hagrid. Joel inserts the idea that this Reginald might not even be from the DRCMC after all, and now we have to wonder who this guy really is? and what is he hoping to get from Hagrid and the adobes?
Luckily, we have Madame Pince who has been a tremendous help throughout and who seems willing enough to continue offering our young students guidance as they struggle to solve the mystery. I think she's quite the fond of the idea of them using their critical thinking skills to solve this puzzle.
All the same, the boys aren't making too much progress, but it seems like Tracey might be faring a bit better? I can't wait to find out what she's found out...
Speaking of Tracey, Howard's set up an early date with her, but we don't know what he wants to speak to her about just yet. It can't be about her findings regarding the adobe because Pince told him about that *after* he had already set up the private morning meeting. I'm really curious to find out what it is he wants to talk to her about.
I felt a little sad that Neville didn't feel like he could trust Tracey just yet but *sigh* I do think it makes sense. We have to remember that this isn't Neville's first rodeo acting out in secrecy. He was there when Dumbledore's Army was meeting in secret and when Marietta Edgecomb betrayed them. He knows that even good people can make mistakes when they're under pressue/afraid. And with stakes this high, it makes sense that they would choose to be extra careful with who they choose to trust.
This was yet another wonderful chapter.
We end the chapter with Howard questioning what it is that he has to offer, which I think is very appropriate, considering our previous discussion of that being one of the main themes in C/S. He still doesn't know what his contribution is going to be (neither do we) but the Sorting Hat believed he had an important one to make, and I'm sure he's going to prove that to be the case.
I'll have to beef it up, he thought. Loved this line. Simply because it was such a Gryffindor thought to have hehe
Another excellent chapter! I look forward to more (and,luckily, I won't have to wait long because you already have a few posted for me to read.)
Thank you for the swap opportunity <3
Author's Response:Hi, Quilly.
Thank you so much for offering this swap. It is such a treat to see what the readers think about this slowly-unfolding story. There is more information upcoming about the adobos a little later in this chaotic school year. Right now they're just hibernating.
It is fun to write Madam Pince as being a knowledgeable and insightful person. There is so much possibility in developing the character of a librarian.
It's understandable that Neville is wary about trusting Tracey. She's a Slytherin, although you'd have to say she's represents the outskirts of Slytherin culture, and he makes automatic assumptions about her. As you say, it's a dangerous time, with high stakes. Wiser to keep your secrets close to your vest. With all the plottting that's developing, it's critical to prevent slip-ups or betrayals.
And even though Howard still doesn't feel that this is his war or that Hogwarts is his school, he can't help becoming more drawn in, bit by bit.
Now that Christmas is behind us and Snowlodge is almost behind us, I hope you will be able to find the stray minutes to read more of Howard's story, as I hooe to find time in the new year to read more of yours.
<3
Vicki
Oh my goodness, it’s Chapter 25 already?!? Better get writing, Vicki! LOL. Just kidding. Take your time.
I have an affinity for picnic baskets. I was that person that ran out of storage space for my baskets and then had the horrible experience of choosing which ones I had to let go of. That was a long time ago, and I think I only have one somewhere collecting dust. But I used to have a bunch, and every time I think about picnic baskets, it’s a fond memory.
Howard is going to have great legs after this year. I bet all the Gryffindors do. I would also love to see that book of riddles that Colton seems to think the Ravenclaws need. It would be fun! But really, all this entrance to the Common Room stuff is teaching these students just what Camilla said. They have to pay attention and strategize. It’s a good life skill, even if it’s inconvenient.
Poor Andrew. He really needs this support. It’s nice to see everyone reaching out to him and trying to make him feel less alone. I cannot begin to imagine Andrew in Dark Arts and all the things he is made to do there. It’s just horrific.
The group hug was really sweet. Camilla has good ideas! But Howard feels like he’s not doing enough. It’s hard, when you’re the one giving support to everyone and no one is giving you the support you need. It was good of Phyllis to let him know that he’s making a difference. But that means that now he can’t abandon them. You write the way he struggles within himself very well, that struggle between taking care of himself and taking care of everyone else.
Thanks for the swap!
Pix
Author's Response:Hi, Pix. Thank you so much for this review. Yes, I need to take your advice and get writiing again. I tried to do that today, in between my job and my trip to the post office to mail the last of my Christmas presents, and then to the town library for the meeting of the writers' group, at which point I had only about 20 minutes, just long enough to sort out the papers of the bundle of pages of what is already written of chapter 27 and read through them again.
Yes, this school year will change these students far beyond what would have happened in a normal year. The effects, both good and bad, will echo down the years. It was good for these kids to reaffirm the support bonds between them. The picnic ends up with Phyllis referring to Howard as their 'big brother,' a term implying that he is taking care of them, in a way. But as you suggest, nobody is really being a big brother to him, even though he does have friends in Gryffindor House. Thanks for saying that I write his internal struggles well, because he does have a lot of them.
A very happy holiday to you and your family!
Vicki
Hello! It’s cold outside, but I’ve got hot tea and a fantastic story! (we will pretend there’s a fireplace, too!)
Five repetitions, and the love letters go up in smoke! That’d go with the “four times we didn’t, and the fifth time we did” format that some people use these days. But I know, this is not that kind of story. I’m just trying to be funny. ????
I am surprisingly on board with the Transfiguration into toilet paper idea. It’s such a boy thing to come up with! The door prizes are also hilarious. They really are trying to make this fun for the younger students and keep their spirits up! For repetition’s sake, Neville made it quite dramatic with the essays in front of the younger students, and he’s right. It’s all about keeping them engaged.
Lavender is such a helpful girl! Like, I did not expect her to be the one to help Howard think of all the niceties of a picnic for the homeschooled students, but here she is, being an excellent planner! And Howard reflects my thoughts, not a line later. Lol, Neville. Look what you’re missing out on.
I am so glad that Tracey showed up early on Friday. Howard is low-key trying not to get his hopes up, I see, but I’m sure he’s more excited than he’s letting on. Fun that Tracey is right with him about just throwing out the truth to Professor Sprout when he walks in. She’s a quick thinker, which is a trait Howard would appreciate!
I like how you’re incorporating movement into this next scene, with the boys starting their conversation inside the classroom after the lesson has ended, and then having them move it outside when Professor Slughorn gives them the eye. Nice use of active backgrounds there!
Howard’s thoughts about whether he’d be a good caretaker for the younger homeschooled students are valid, but there’s really no one else at the castle who could do it the way he could. He’s one of them. He’s the oldest, and frankly, he’s been training his whole life to take care of things on Skye. He really knows more about being a shepherd than he’s giving himself credit for. I hope that one day he realizes this, but it’ll probably be in the future when he can look back and see through older eyes that he did what he had been put there to do. I’m not sure you intended him to be a shepherd, but I’m seeing it, and it’s a lovely picture.
Pix
Author's Response:Hi, Pix. Thank you so much for this thoughtful and anlytical review of chapter 24. The older Gryffindors are trying their best to keep up the morale of the younger students and prevent fear from creeping into everyone's mind, but that's difficult to do -- they are just winging it, with no clear picture of what they will be up against. Neville, for all his brave face, must be worrying and feeling out of his depth, as Howard is also.
The book and the movie made Lavender out to be something of a ditz, but that's not how she is in my head. And we don't really see any depiction in the book about how she must have changed and grown during the calamitous seventh year of school. I think it would be a mistake to assume that any of the students wee unchanged during this final year (except maybe some of the Slytherins).
Yes, Tracey is a quick thinker, as we shall see in some future chapters.
One might think that the oldest child in a family would assume the caretaker role towards his younger siblings, but Howard is not the oldest in his family, he is the youngest. But as you say, he's been training his whole life to take care of things. Nothing quite like this, of course...
I am glad that you are enjoying this story. I've had Howard in my heart for so long, that it almost feels like he's my own son, and I have to keep reminding myself that he already has a mother. Crazy?
Vicki
This is definitely a lot for Howe to have taken upon his own shoulders, trying to shepherd these other homeschooled kids in an environment where he is still very much a fish out of water himself. (Or at least a fish in a suddenly much bigger and unfamiliar pond.)
I'm definitely eager to see your take on what these kids might talk to their parents about when they go home during Christmas break. And also what is the reason that Howard's been exempted from the Dark Arts classes.
Phyllis seems pragmatic and seems to be taking the same kind of approach to things as Howard -- being straightforward in the face of people mincing their words. She's right that there's no shame in having been homeschooled, so she doesn't follow everyone's lead in acting like there is.
I worry for Andrew. At least he's in a good House with good prefects. But I imagine this environment could very easily get to him. :(
Melanie
Author's Response:Another review from you, Melanie! That is so appreciated!
This support meeting with the other homeschooled students was not an easy thing for Howard to do, since he felt as if he didn't know what he was doing, and as a result it was not an easy thing for me to write. I tried to develop the character of each of the four younger students, while retaining Howard's sense that he's just feeling his way blindly through the topics that he brings up for discussion. The fact that the others react positively to his amateur attempts shows that they desperately need support of some sort, even as they try to put on a brave face. You're correct in saying that Andrew is the homeschooled student who seems to be the most vulnerable. There are sociologists who study the adjustment of children to the experience of being separated from their families and sent to boarding schools, sometimes at very young ages, and the conclusions are troubling. They call it "Boarding School Syndrome," It's a serious issue for some children.
You will read in the next chapter why Howard does not have to take the Dark Arts Class. In DH Neville tells Harry, Ron, and Hermione that Muggle Studies class has been mandatory during the schoo year, but he does not say the same thing about Dark Arts class,, so I have always concluded that all the students were required to be indoctrinated by taking the Muggle Studies class, but that it was not deemed necessary for all students to know how to do Dark Arts curses, only those students who might be called upon to use them in their later careers, such as by being active Death Eaters.
Thank you very much for this review and for continuing to follow this storoy. <3
Vicki
And now for some gift reviews!
"Who's really in charge," indeed. Well, we know at least one thing... Neville is! It's so nice getting to see him in this critical year where he comes into his own as a leader. I like the sort of overaffected ceremonial aspect of the destruction of essays. It feels like they're having fun while not making fun of what they're doing. It's important, but that doesn't mean it can't be entertaining. That's vital to keeping up morale, I would think.
Another moving heart-to-heart between Howe and Tracey. Even the geography of their respective upbringings seems to contrast with one another -- Tracey's so contained, Howe's so open. There's something about Howe's personal world that feels limitless even while fairly isolated and simple.
<3 Melanie
Author's Response:Hi, Melanie!
Thank you so much for this gift review. I am enjoying writing Neville because my sense is that he really came into his own this year, partly because of his own maturation and partly because he was out from under the shadow of Harry, Ron, and Hermione. JKR really lost a good opportunity for story development in DH by showing us so little of what was going on at the castle or with its residents during this year. But her loss was the fanfic writer's gain! Each of the Houses has to have its own internal support structure now, and it's up to the prefects and seventh-years to make sure that happens.
The doggie funeral that Howard describes is taken from the funeral of my daughter's dog when my granddaughter was six years old. Not sure how the crofters on Skye really handle the death of a sheepdog, but it must be something like that. And no uncertainty as to whether dogs go to heaven! I like what you said about Howard's personal world that seems so limitless. You are so right. The terrain of Skye and the Hebrides lends itself so well to that feeling. And now he's at Hogwarts, srrounded by a perimeter wall and lots of wards. Sigh.
I'm glad you are enjoying the story. :)
<3 Vicki
Hey, that fight song's from my alma mater!! :D
I believe I still owed you a review for a swap we'd agreed to some time ago before life got in the way. So this will be that, but then I'll be reading on so I can catch up with what I've missed.
The interaction between Howe and Tracey was lovely. It's sad to think this is one of very few people Tracey has really been able to make a connection with -- because she doesn't exactly fit in Slytherin, but because she is in Slytherin all the other students steer clear. And here's someone coming up to her finally after six years of this, saying, "Tell me about yourself." One can see why Tracey's initial reaction is one of suspicion.
Howe is free of so many of these social constraints, and his forthright nature is a good foil to Tracey's loneliness and guardedness, and more generally this Slytherin/everyone else divide, and also the culture at the school this year where everything's shrouded in secrecy and suspicion. And while it will definitely serve him to become a little more guarded int his environment, I also like that throughout much of this story Howe's been so direct -- politely so -- where others might not be, because it just doesn't occur to him not to ask the straightforward questions. He hasn't been conditioned to worry that he's doing something wrong by just being himself.
Melanie
Author's Response:Finally! Someone who recognizes the fight song! I was sure there would be somebody out there who knew the UC fight song. Even my daughter knows it, having heard it played and sung at football games between UC and UW.
Thank you for saying that the interactions between Howard and Tracey are lovely. I have known him for ten years, but as you say, there is loneliness and guardedness in Tracey's demeanor, lonely because she doesn't fit in with the other Slytherins, though she is friendly with the girls, but there's not that tight connection, and guarded because, I suppose, one always has to be guarded around Slytherins. So it has been more difficult for me to get to know her, and my daughter was unimpressed by my first efforts to write her and felt obliged to set me on a straight path, for which I'm grateful. I finally feel like I am getting to know her, and it must be that in these interactions with Howard she herself is opening up and coming more into her own. There are some great chapters coming up, if only RL will afford me the time to write! ://
Ah, that terrible Slytherin/everyone else divide. I worry that maybe I emphasize it too much (come on, Vicki, surely it wasn't that bad). But looking at it hopefully objectively, I think it was that bad, given that a war was raging and loyalty lines were pretty strongly drarwn.
You raise a good question: will Howard's experiences in negotiating the social climate of Hogwarts and 'mainstream wizardry' affect his personality, the plain-spoken openness of the Highlands and the Islands? I like your line "He hasn't been conditioned to worry that he's doing something wrong by just being himself."
Thank you so much for this lovely and thoughtful review!
Vicki
Hey! Chapter 23!
Ah, so Tracey is scoping out the Hall to make sure she’s not going to waste her time going to the Greenhouses early. Smart girl! I can tell she’s curious, but also careful.
Interesting detail that the Entrance Hall doors are locked until 7:30! This adds to the intrigue of Hogwarts as a whole, and makes me wonder if the doors locked at curfew as well. They probably do, and that makes things even scarier for students who might be sneaking around when they shouldn’t be. I don’t know why self-locking doors never occurred to me before.
Wow, okay, Howard is very forward, just laying it all out. But this is a good time for him to ask his questions, if there ever was a good time. And it lets Tracey know that he is interested in her friendship, regardless of the circumstances within the castle. Cool way to have this conversation removed from the building that represents the barriers between them. I like how he sets up this meeting place as an, “I’m here if you want to talk more” thing before their classes. That was pretty forward-thinking of him. I wonder if Tracey will take him up on the offer.
Ah, spitballs. That’s an old stand-by. But then a musical? That’d be something! I’m not so sure Natalie is up to writing songs, as she says, lol. But parody songs, that’d be something I think Dennis would excel at. And apparently, he also excels at throwing barbs. That certainly put Howard in low spirits, but it did open up the narrative for him to ruminate on his musical experiences. It’s good that he has that memory to remind him of his talents.
He is still a bit homesick, which is to be expected. But this chapter is highlighting his new purpose while he’s here at Hogwarts - and he’s making good on it - encouraging the other students to create a parody to help them endure the Muggle Studies classes. It’s definitely important to keep your spirits up. I just thought of the cool parallel you did with the music, how Howard is helping the students use music and the arts to fight against the oppression, and then later, he uses his memories and music to dispel his hurt feelings over Dennis’s thoughtless comment.
I feel like there is a wind about to blow through the castle and upset all these plans that these students have been working so hard to set up. Maybe I’m ahead of the ball, but I feel the tension, even in the restful moments. I like that you’ve maintained the sense of danger, here, with the constant hesitancy of the characters and all the lengths they have to go through to keep their plans hidden.
Pix
Author's Response:Hi, Pix! I was not expecting another review so soon, so what a pleasant surprise! Thank you very much.
When you stop to think of it, it makes sense, even in peacetime, for the castle doors to be locked at night to prevent the entry of unscrupulous characters. The question is whether they are locked also to prevent the exit of people from inside the castle to the outdoors. This issue does come up later in the story, so hold that thought.
Aas for Howard's frank conversation with Tracey, I think that during times that seem to people to be perilous, people will speak more frankly, more bluntly. Tell it like it is because we might all die tomorrow. We don't have time for the luxury of beating around the bush. And Howard feels the urgent necessity of building up his cohort of friends, female as well as male. He's not unaware that she could be a comfort for him if things become very bad. It makes me think of the relationships between young men and women at the outset of World War II.
The humorous-skit-morphed-into-a-musical could serve as good comic relief for all the stress and tension, if the students don't let themselves get carried away and try to do too much. We shall see. But you are right -- the arts may be a different sort of resistance than, say, dueling with wands, but they have their own powerful influence.
That's an interesting image -- a wind blowing through the castle --but yes, it says somewhere in the Bible that we sow the wind and reap the whirlwind. It will happen.
Thank you so much for reading my story and leaving reviews. <3
Vicki
Hi Vicki! I’m here to rest my vampire-saturated brain and come play in the world of weird death slugs and Howard and the resistance. (I’m sorry that my skewed imagination has just taken all the possibilities with these adobos and run off with them to some dark corner and is creating all kinds of scenarios that probably have nothing to do with your story… but the possibilities are just so FASCINATING…)
Okay, Howard. Way to be all mysterious and cryptic and confusing with Tracey. You better be glad she’s a good sport when it comes to spending time with you. I mean, I’d also be miffed by the inter-House feuding, so I understand.
YES HAGRID! THEY ARE ALL LYING TO YOU BECAUSE THEY DON’T WANT YOU TO KNOW ABOUT THE EXISTENCE OF DEATH SLUGS!!! That means that there’s a conspiracy within the Ministry (rubs hands together)... but, ah, of course there is because it’s 7th Year Hogwarts. I want to meet this Reginald and find out what he knows and all his reasons… okay, so I don’t really want to MEET Reginald. I want to stalk him and discover all his secrets… aaaand I really should not drink so much coffee…
“Maybe they’re dead.”
Death Slugs. My name stands. (chortle)
“Miss Davis is making faster progress than you right now.”
Shots fired. Get yourself in gear, Howard.
Okay, yes. I’m glad the boys are thinking ahead about Flitwick and the offhanded comments he might spread to the other professors and the timing of their prank. That was one of my thoughts, too. They’d surely get into trouble that way. I do like the love letter comment and Flitwick’s reaction. That was cute!
“What?” Lavender said.
Uh, yeah. It’s for the cause, Lavender. Get on board, here.
So there IS a conspiracy with the adobos…
Pix
Author's Response:Hi, Pix!
Thanks for visiting my story and leaving a review. Your stream-of-consciousness style is amusing. I'd love to have a peek into your "skewed imagination" and see all the possibilities you have come up with for the poor maligned adobos (I won't tell them you call them Death Slugs).
Yes, Howard was being cryptic, but apparently he thought that Tracey would respond to this cryptic request. I don't think she gets many requests from any of the Slytherin boys, or from boys of any other House either. Actually she is a pretty good sport, in the sense that she's had to develop a thick skin during her previous six years in Slythering House at Hogwarts. It hasn't been exactly a bed of romance.
It's good that Hagrid and the boys are beginning to realize that they can't necessarily put faith in anything that the Ministry or its representatives have told them. But maybe just meeting Reginald wouldn't be so bad -- he might have a friendly and charming demeanor, at least on the surface, and a glib explanation for his dealings with the adobos.
The Gryffindors (and probably the Ravenclaws and the Hufflepuffs) are slowly figuring out how to be guerilla warriors, moving from the juvenile pranks of years gone by to more sophisticated maneuvers with more potentially dangerous consequences Do thy have a master plan? Or are they just making it up as they go along?
I'm glad you are enjoying the story!
Vicki <3
Hi Vicki,
Here to read for our swap!
Much like you've done with by blood, I read ahead and am now going back to review the chapters in order :)
I love this first section with Tracey's POV! She seems very meticulous, or at least nervous at the moment, with the way she notes every five minute interval for the morning. I wonder if she's subconciously kind of nervous about being caught meeting with him outside the classroom. She might even be aware of that nervousness, I'd imagine that she is, with the way she's looking around for other students. I can understand why Howard would be kind of insulted, and turns immediately to defend his family and his family's profession when she explains the way that most of the Pureblood students see themselves. I wonder what they think about the transfer students, in particular.
I think that, in Gryffindor at least, the younger students really take to Howard. Children are generally more accepting of outsiders, so I think that really makes sense. He's also really good at inspiring people and sparking different ideas. It's so nice to see him sharing his knowledge here. I was intrigued by this aside "Why did Dennis have a bee in his bonnet? Maybe because he had seen himself as the dominant member of this gang of four, but Euan had received the most attention and praise for his talent in composing lyrics."I wonder if Dennis' slight irritation will play out, or if this was just one of Howard's thoughts about the students.
It beomes even clearer why he's shared this plan with the students when he reminisces on his time singing back on Skye!
Thanks for a great chapter, Vicki!
Cat
Author's Response:Hi, Cat!
I'm so glad to hear you say that you read the chapters as they come up, even if your written reviews lag behind a little. Just to know that people are reading my chapters and to imagine how much they might be enjoying them makes me feel warm all over!
As for Tracey and her nervousness at meeting with Howard in the Herbology classroom for the first time, I'd say that your assessment of her thoughts is correct. She does feel insecure, even though it's unlikely that any Slytherin would walk into the greenhouse suddenly and see the two of them together Still, meeting with a Gryffindor boy does seem risky to her.
Her question to Howard about whether he ever thinks about being something more than just a crofter reveals some things about her. First, she cares enough about him to care whether he has a 'good' career rather than just being a poor dirt farmer. And this thinking on her part reveals her ignorance about the intellectual requirements of being successful in a career raising livestock. Even though he lives, most days out of the year, on an island surrounded by many other crofters like himself, he is not unfamiliar with the general prejudice in society at large against people who work out of doors and get their hands dirty. So when Tracey implies that being a crofter isn't good enough, he's not insulted because he has heard this sentiment stated, or at least implied, many times before, such as when he leaves the islalnd and spends time on the urban mainland. It's too bad, but that's how it is.
In the opening lines of Chapter 5, as the Slytherins are going down the stairs to the Dungeons after the feast is ended, they do discuss briefly their reaction to the sight of the five "transfer students' who had just been Sorted. They have nothing good to say about them, calling them "a rag-tag bunch" who, if placed in Slytherin House, would just drag the House down. If any Slytherin other than Tracey thinks differently, they don't say so.
I agree with you that the younger Gryffindors take to Howard. Maybe they would look up to any student who was three or four years older than they were, especially one who was willing to talk with them and help them out and not ignore them just because they were younger than he was. It was interesting to read, in other reviews on this chapter, that other readers had varying ideas as to why Dennis said what he did and why Howard took it personally. But it all blows over in the end.
Thank you so much for this thoughtful rerview!
Vicki
Hi, Vicki! Here for our swap! :D
Things are getting more and more serious, aren't they? Between the Dark Arts' class, harsher detentions and the fire in Alecto's office... :/ It all sounds very dangerous, and I'm worried for your characters... (no, no one is safe, not even the Slytherins... I admire a lot Tracey for distancing herself from the Dark Arts' class, and for watching over the little kids to make sure they don't get into trouble. And I'm glad she talked to Howard about it, too, and that he could suggest the same to the Gryffindors. I can totally see the Carrows taking revenge on the students indiscriminately, so it's important that they try to keep the younger kids safe! <3)
I suppose there isn't much more they can do about the adobos at this point, except watching over them and waiting that they get out of hibernation... although I'm still very curious to figure out how and why they actually ended up in Hagrid's care... I'm sure the mystery will be revealed in due time, though, so that's okay ;) I find the idea of Joel going around those towns searching for reports on adobos' sightings amusing, though! It would be a cool hobby, actually! :D I really hope Howard will actually keep in touch with him and the other people he became friends with after this year at Hogwarts! At least that's something good that came from this experience! :)
McGonagall interrogating Seamus about Neville's fake relationship is... disturbing? I mean, I suppose she was forced to keep appearences, and it is a good thing that Neville thought about building that cover up, but still... :/
So much going on, and we are only at the beginning of the year... things are about to get much worse than this, and I'm both curious and worried to see what you have in store for the coming chapters!
A great, interesting read, as always! Thank you so much for writing and sharing!
Snowball hug,
Chiara
Author's Response:Hi, Chiara! Thank you so much for this thoughtful review.
Yes, things are getting more serious. Whether it's wise or not for the students to push back as much as they will do, they're going to do it anyway. I read somewhere about the students keeping up the resistance, just to keep morale up, so that when the time came for an all-out fight, they would be ready for it. (But I don't remember whether that was in canon, or in somebody else's fic, or maybe even in something I wrote, once upon a time.)
Yes, as Howard thinks, he and Joel have run out of ideas about the adobos at this point. But eventually we will see them for what they are, and maybe even why 'Reginald' gave them to Hagrid.
Obviously McGonagall and Flitwick talked with each other about the fire in the office, following so close upon Neville's odd question about burning parchment. Flitwick might have urged McGonagall to investigate a little, since Neville is in McGonagall's House. Possibly neither of them wanted to believe that there was any connection, since of course they both don't want the students to get into any trouble. Thus, if someone (Snape or the Carrows) asks whether the staff members have any suspicions about who the culprit(s) was(were), Flitwick and McGonagall are safe, having checked out their only lead and having found it to be baseless.
Lots of stuff coming up. I wish I had more time to write!
Hugs to you too.
Vicki
Hi Vicki!
I like the way you're consistently building the tension as the students realize how much different this new regime is. The situation also brings out more out the ideas that should bring your featured characters closer together as friends and comrades (since it's a war story, after all).
Good to see that Howe and Joel war still making some progress in the adobos. Joel making them a life long hobby cracked more up. In not sure about the fwooper lesson, though - maybe I just as distracted by being look vacation, but to me it seemed more than the chapter needed with so much else going on. I expect I want paying close enough attention, though, and in want event it's a minor distraction.
Seamus did great in is chance to shine. Are we going to learn how far MacGonagall is willing to go in keeping a life in things? So far, the students' perspective seemed go be that she's in line with the Death Eater agenda. That's not surprising, since the students can't trust shine right now, by unless you're planning more canon divergence than you've shown so far, she's going to be supporting, as well as protecting, the students in the resistance. I look forward go your unfolding things in future chapters.
Overall, I thought this was another good chapter, and I'm really long forward to the next one. Thanks.
George
Author's Response:Hi, George!
Thank you so much for this prompt review so soon after I posted this chapter. I'm glad that you sense a rising tension in the environment of this story because that is what I want to achieve, but I worry about making the year seem too light and fluffy, which it certainly wasn't. And you are correct in saying that the situation will serve to bring the featured characters closer together. Of course the Battle of Hogwarts is still far in the future, at which point most of the students had been evacuated, but my daughter remarked that the students who stayed to fight and survived would be likely to form a Society of Survivors of the BoH and hold periodic reunions in the years to come.
Yes, the Fwooper Bird is boring and not something that Howard would ever encounter in the normal course of his life, so I didn't make that section of the narrative very long, but its inclusion served two purposes for me. First, Hogwarts is a school, and classes take up a large part of everyone's day there, but in many, perhaps most, fics, you'd never know that, because the narrative focuses entirely on the character's romantic angst or juvenile pranks, and we never see what goes on in the classrooms. I try to avoid that omission in my stories set at Hogwarts by including references, even brief ones, to what goes on in class. Some academically-focused fics (there are a few) are fascinating; pranks and angsty romance can become boring. The second reason is to show the idea (it has been shown earlier also) that Howard is more interested in knowledge that he can make some practical use of, rather than just knowledge for knowledge's sake. He is different from Joel, who is more inclined to pursue a line of learning just out of curiosity without necessarily having any practical use for it. Joel can see himself having enough free time in his adult years to travel around and investigate the history of adobos, just for fun, while Howard sees himself in his adult years as being occupied every day with the tasks and duties of his agricultural career.
Of course we will see Professor McGonagall throughout this story. She and the other professors, except the Carrows, are performing a perilous balancing act, trying to teach the students, protect them from the Death Eaters, and keep their own necks intact. I do not plan canon divergence, although there reallly isn't much canon material for this year at Hogwarts, so we all probably have our own head canon of the details of what went on then.
Thank you very much for keeping jp with this story and reviewing so promptlly after each chapter is posted. It is very much appreciated.
Vicki
Ah HA! That’s what I thought! Tracey is worried about getting pushback from her fellow Slytherins for the company she keeps. It was bound to happen. I’m glad she’s taking precautions.
Okay, you KNOW I’m going to comment on the cookery ideas for the devil slugs. And also, the accuracy is increasing, so they COULD be baby-suckers… just saying…
Getting a map to plot them is a good idea as well. I definitely felt the fatigue that the boys are going through, sifting through all of the information. Sometimes research goes like that… actually, research is like that a lot of times. Because you never know what you need until you find it, so there’s all this extra stuff to sift through.
Boy, those Gryffindors are really planning through the pushback for Muggle Studies. I hope they continue to be careful, because the punishments are fierce… oh, but they don’t know that just yet. Guess they’ll find out. It’s still early in the year. I wonder if their rebellious actions are what push the Carrows to be extra nasty later on… hmmm…
Ah, haha, Howard really loves his ball point pens! Cool!
Oooohhhh…. Very interesting how the essays did not burn. I wonder what that means in the long run. And boy, that sounded like they created a pretty big mess!
Uh oh. I don’t like the beginnings of this adobo cover-up. It’s going to get someone in a heap of trouble!
Pix
Author's Response:Hi, Pix. Thank you so much for this jolly review. :)
Yes, Tracey is astute enough to realize that she will get pushback from her fellow Slytherins for having more than a business-like relationship with a boy from another House, especially Gryffindor. But she is also getting enough courage to dare to do risky things, such as dropping out of Dark Arts and associating with whomever she chooses. This behavior is a progression from how she behaved in earlier years, when she tried to stay in the background and not make waves. But now she is tired of that and is more inclined to do what she wants.
Interesting that you use the apparent accuracy of the descriptions of the cooking attempts to indicate that maybe the other information about the adobos is also accurate. Yeah, that makes sense.
Actually, all the Houses except Slytherin are contemplating pushbacks against the Carrows and the Death Eater influence, although they are keeping it closely underground, and only the top people in each House, such as Neville, are in communication with one another. It's a school-wide movement, but, as is common in widespread guerrilla movements, most players know only the few people and few actions that they are most closely connected with. You are correct in saying that at this point they don't know what the Carrows' reaction will be, fierce or fading, but they will find out.
The fact that the essays did not burn at their first attempt just leads us deeper into intrigue. But luckily the Gryffies can use magic to clean up the mess of the shredded essays quickly.
As for the confusing letter about whether or not adobos exist, Madam Pince will once again steer the boys straight about what might have been going on, all those centuries ago.
I'm glad that you arre enjoying the story!
Vicki
Hello!
Ooohh… okay, we’re back in the Greenhouses with the research project, and I’m very curious to see what kind of progress these guys make! It’s fun to see Howard with all of these research-y things that he gets to do. It’s so a-typical to what we saw at Hogwarts in canon… probably because of ‘plot’ and ‘things’, but I love imagining that at least some of the teachers are pushing their students to think for themselves to prepare for the world they’re about to enter. I mean, you can’t learn everything from a textbook, right?
But also, your plot requires the students to develop some ingenuity, so I see where you might be going with this.
Okay, so at least Professor Sprout has her safety protocol in place. Whew! Lol!
It’s comforting to see Howard concerned for the other Houses regarding Muggle Studies. It’s also clear that everyone is disturbed by what’s going on in that class, including Tracey, even though she doesn’t have much to say about the matter. I believe her when she says the Slytherins aren’t taking it seriously. I imagine that most of the purebloods that were brought up to disdain Muggles are not having much trouble stomaching the blatant lies… and even if they know they’re lies, they wouldn’t care. But not all Slytherins are like that. I’m also assuming that Tracey has to be careful about what she openly disagrees with for her own well-being.
Okay, so that was pretty cute, the way that Howard is thinking how he can spend more time doing things with Tracey. Though he goes about it in a rather pragmatic, logical way… like yeah, he’s thinking about her, but he’s not really thinking about her, he’s just, you know… thinking about her. Casually. No big deal here.
Also, good thoughts, Howard, about not mentioning that they have the adobos when Joel writes the letter. Because YES, THINGS ARE FISHY!!! BABY-EATING SLUGS ARE A RED FLAG, YOU GUYS!!! THEY ARE NOT KITTENS OR PUPPIES, DO NOT WRAP THE BABY-EATING SLUGS IN BLANKETS!!!
Whew. Dirt. Yes, that’s a good idea. Bury them deep deep underground. Preferably under the house of some unsuspecting Death Eater. Tactics, man. Use tactics.
I’m loving the sliding sun description!
I’m highly suspicious of a lot of things, specifically this Reginald-without-a-last-name fellow.
Lol. Ballpoint pens for Christmas.
Poor Howard! He’s really starting to feel the pressure of the place, and he really doesn’t have all the pieces of the puzzle. As isolated as he is in the castle, I can’t help but feel for how isolated the people of Skye are, if Howard thinks that the things going on in the castle won’t affect his home eventually. It’s nice to think that there are places that can ignore the wider world, but then… can they really? Will the wider world really leave them alone?
I worry.
Pix
Author's Response:Hi, Pix.
What a treat to get an extra review from you! Your final paragraph, about the people on Skye being isolated from the goings-on of the wider community in Great Britain, is another undercurrent in this story. As you ask, can they really ignore the wider world? Will the wider world really leave them alone?
You really don't like those adobos, do you? Baby-eating slugs. Bury them under a Death Eater's house. But Howard and Joel must be firm and stay the course. They need to study the adobos, and so far the adobos are not bothering anybody.
It strikes me that Howard at Hogwarts is kind of like Five in Bath -- plunked down into a fairly alien culture and trying to learn the unspoken rules and customs, so he doesn't have a good handle on how he might develop a relationship with Tracey, who is, in a way, an outsider herself, so they do have that in common. But in this danger-ridden environment at Hogwarts (and the outside world also), there will be plenty of opportunities for bonding experiences to occur.
So glad to get this review! Thank you so much!
Vicki
Hello! Let’s get down to chapter nineteen!
Howard is so diligently working on his translation, and he's making great progress, which is fantastic!
But my brain was somewhere entirely different as I was reading this. I'm probably way off base here, but as I was reading the words that Howard was so diligently writing down, I was getting all worked up over all the implications this could have on the story.
Kay, so basically, Howe, you’ve been put in charge of a large devil snail that has no natural predators. This is either the best secret weapon ever discovered by the Ministry, or you're about to die, and this story just became much shorter than I imagined it to be.
Yeah… just add all that to the list of Weird Things About Hogwarts you’re compiling. I’m with you on that.
I love how these boys are getting so excited about figuring this out. On the other hand, I’m literally holding my breath, waiting until they get to the part about eating babies…
“You know, I thought Adam and his buddies were rather cute at first. But now I don’t think so.”
Understatement of the year, Joel.
I’m getting serious “you’ve got to be kidding me, there’s another basilisk in the castle” vibes from this. Either that, or I’ve watched too many horror movies, and I’m expecting this to turn into one. (checks genre tags on story shell) Okay. No horror. You’ve got angst, though. I can definitely get behind the anxiety about these things creeping into your room while you’re asleep and gnawing on you. I’m getting a little anxious over here just thinking about it. I mean, they are supposed to have eyes and mouths that fall off when they go into hibernation... and that also sounds completely terrifying, because what exactly does THAT look like??? I really hope Tracey is NOT in the room when that happens. I like that girl way too much.
Besides the foreboding of the translation relating to these little beasties, I really enjoyed the teamwork between Joel and Howard in this chapter. They are both taking their task seriously and are finding joy in their success! I also have to point out the cool way that you progressed from Howard doubting his place at Hogwarts to him being excited about his win and wanting to share it with his family back home. He’d definitely never get to translate old manuscripts on the Croft, or be exposed to death-breathing giant snails.
I’m pretty sure Hogwarts teaches even less about the “safety first” mantra than it does about English grammar, so Hagrid might be out of luck. Perhaps Howard has learned to take precautions somewhere in his home curriculum, because I feel like he’s going to need it, dealing with these mystery snails.
Pix
Author's Response:Hi, Pix.
Thank you so much for cotinuing to read my story about the devil snails at Hogwarts during the calamitous 1997-98 school year. They are not the only things that will be making life hard at Hogwarts, although the canon books don't tell us very much. Weird as Hogwarts seemed (and still seems) to Howard, he is building up a strong cadre of friends: Howard and Neville and Seamus, Howard and David, Steve, and Ed, Howard and Joel, Howard and Hagrid, Howard and Ernie, Howard and Wayne, Howard and Tracey, and so on.
There is a thread that runs through the story, of Howard doing "things he's never done before," starting with the opening night feast, when he chooses a dessert unlike anything he's ever eaten before. You have noticed that here. He thought he was perfectly happy living at his croft on Skye (and he was), but there are a lot of other things, other skills and experiences, that he can add to his already impressive repertoire. The croft kept him plenty busy, but there is always room to add a few more things in.
Sometimes you see safety being considered at Hogwarts, as, for example, when Professor sprout emphasizes safety when the Herbology students work with dangerous plants. But I don't recall the Potions class ever included goggles to protect eyes form spills and explosions. And we all remember Hagrid's first attempts at teaching CoMC. Maybe the wizards are blasé about safety precautions because they believe they can heal injuries immediately by using magic. (And yet we know they can't, not every time.)
I'm glad you are enjoying my story. (Hope it's not too creepy :) Your reviews are very much apprciated.
Vicki
Hi Vicki,
Great to hear from you again and excited for our swap!
Ooh, the first thing that really stuck out to me here was the comparison between Romeo and Juliet and Macbeth...it could definitely just be a commentary on Howard's disposition, but could it also be a bit of foreshadowing?? I do wonder, you're so crafty :)
I think it's great that Howard is comfortable enough to ask Neville what he was talking about without him and Tracey! It's such a great sign that their friendship is slowly growing together -- they definitely have more trust in each other than they did when everything started. The way you stitch together relationships is so satisfying!
Also just generally love your characterization of Neville; the way he considers the professors' involvement is so thoughtful and really makes him stand out from others.
I'm soooo excited for this little date with Tracey and Howard. I'm also glad that he's finally getting a clearer understanding of what's going on with the war, or at least their part in it. I feel bad that he's being self-deprecating about his suggestion. He's tough on himself, he clearly wasn't really aware of the full situation at first! I hope that we get to hear more between Neville and Howard, and I also wonder what Tracey will do/think about it all...
Thanks again, Vicki!
Cat
Author's Response:Hi, Cat!
I'm so glad that you made this swap offer because it impelled me back into your excellent WIP. And I'm glad that you are still reading and enjoing Crofter/Snake. There is such a variety of good long-form fics on the archives right now.
Yes, some of the details in my chapters are foreshadowing or significant and some of them are just details. It is interesting to see which little points readers focus on as possible clues or the guesses they have as to where the story is going. Soetimes it has a little effect on how I write the story.
Neville is a fun character to write, partly because I can make him smart and take-charge, to make up for his previous years at school when unkind people would make fun of him. And now that Harry, Ron, Dean, and Hermione are gone, the other students look to him to fill the leadership void, so he has a chance to show what he can do in these dangerous times.
You are quite right when you say that Howard is "finally getting a clearer understanding of what's going on with the war." All this skuduggery and guerilla warfare is brand new to him -- never had to do that on Skye -- so I can see that he would doubt whether he can make any meaningful contributions.
Thank you so much for this lovely review!
Vicki <3 <3
Hi Vicki! Here for our review swap!
So the opening scene with Tracey and Howe was very good. Howe learns more about the nuances of Wizarding and Hogwarts culture that he otherwise hasn't been exposed to living on Skye. And with that, he reaches out to her as a friend. Which, she is surprised to learn, because in her experience all relationship need to be transactional. And yes, in the larger scheme of things, they are. But this is a different sort of transaction, not a "I'll give you information about this, if you do that for me," but rather, I'll be your friend and chat with you, if you need that, no strings, ball's in your court, kind of thing. Which I'm happy Tracey has now. It's apparent she needs that and has not gotten that elsewhere.
Absolutely loved your inclusion of her parents professions. Particularly her father's perked my interest because that's essentially my line of work hah. Well, the company I work for makes things manufacturable (I just work in HR for them hah), but still to see that in a fan fiction I was like HEY CONTRACT MANUFACTURING, I KNOW HER! ;) Anyway, I am curious how that would look in a magical universe. If he takes only magical clients or has a combination. I know it's not important to the story, but consider my own curiosity peaked!
Anyway, I loved the inclusion of the play and how it also revealed more about Howe's character and his life on Skye. I adore Scottish music, so naturally I checked out your video. Very enjoyable! :) Writing about music is hard. Writing about singing is hard. But I think you describe how the lines are delivered and knowing it's done with a certain Scottish lilt with Howe's background and the spelling of the words, definitely helps the reader envision what it's meant to sound like. So I think you did a nice job there.
The end got a little melancholic (for me at least) with Howe thinking about his mother and singing as he walked up the stairs. He seemed totally fine even though it made me feel homesick on his behalf lol.
What a lovely chapter (as always)! I cannot wait to see what happens with these other storylines against the backdrop of a world on the brink of war! You are definitely keeping my interest in a multitude of ways!
Thanks for the swap!
<3 Courtney
Author's Response:Hi, Courtney!
Thank you so much for this detailed and thoughtful review. :) I'm glad you like the opening scene in the greenhouse. Perhaps Howard sensed that it would be easier to open up to a girl than to his masculine roommates and other friends. I hadn't thought about how friendships in the Slytherin community might be based, first and foremost, on transactions, a focus on what you can get from this relationship in terms of money, power, etc. But I can see that as being very true, so that a friendshiip such as Howard was offering would seem refreshingly unusual to Tracey. And since they have practically all their classes together, they will have good opportunities to interact with each other.
What a coincidnce that Mr. Davis's profession is familiar to you. Actually, when I wrote this chapter, I didn't even know for certain that Contract Manufacturing was a Thing, but it seemed reasonable, and it sounded like a good, solid, middle-class occupation for a Slytherin family that didn't have wealth or a landed estate like the Elite Twenty-Eight. I had assumed that his clients were members of the wizarding community, but I don't see why he couldn't have also had some non-magical clients. Doing business with the Muggle community would have kept him pretty solidly in the middle class of the wizarding world, with few chances for fame and fortune.
According to the Portree High School internet page, the school has an award-winning drama department (as of 2022), so I can see that in the 1990's Howard might have been involved in a peripheral way, as he mentions. Given how people fact-checked details of Tiramisu, I expected some readers to Google the American university fight songs to learn the names of the universities and hear the tunes and subsequent verses. But so far nobody has said anything about that. Thank you for checking out the video of the singers in the Scottish pub. Watching it really helps in envisioning what Howard was thinking about.
Yes, the final paragraphs were melancholic, a reaction to Dennis's thoughtless jibe that sets Howard to reminiscing once again about the home and family he has left behind. But the song, first sung for comfort, quickly grows into beauty for its own sake, soothing his feelings and filling the stairwell with music that echoes off the walls and probably amuses the Gryffies down in the common room until he has climbed so high that they don't hear it anymore. You had wondered a ways back in this story how Bonnie Prince Charlie would fit in, and here he is.
I am so glad to know that you are enjoying this story. Thank you again. <3 <3
Vicki
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