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Hi, Noelle.
Well, Severus is finally getting some answers to the huge uncetainty that has been plaguing him ever since he met Ted.
I think that food and sex are often interchangeble symbols in literature and motion pictures, representing the two most basic human drives, nourishment and reproduction. A famous one, though now tame by modern standards. was the eating scene in the movie Tom Jones (1963). Ted's cooking seems to be taken from his Korean heritage, but I suppose that Severus will eat and enjoy it, as he ate the Middle Eastern fare in the restaurant not that long ago, even thoough I imagine that he grew up eating nothing but working class British food.
Ted is really going all out, grilling something on the balcony while four side dishes sit on platters or in bowls in the kitchen. All this for a sick housplant house call? No, he is wooing Severus. Interesting that the two men approach the topic of their sexuality obliquely, talking about music and movies as a method of easing sideways into revealing about themselves. If either one of them didn't want to pursue the topic of sexuality further, they could just keep talking about music and movies.
I like the light touch in which you present this scene. Nothing in-your-face. Good job.
Vicki
Author's Response:Severus is American in this story, so he would have grown up eating American food. Ma is a good cook though, so while he's likely eaten his share of processed food, he has had the benefit of eating good home cooking as well. And as I showed in the earlier chapter, he isn't a picky eater.
It's true that Ted is making a good company dinner, however this dinner isn't too far off of what traditional Korean home cooking encompasses. A dinner would typically include a few side dishes (called banchan) that are eaten with rice, and then a stewed or barbequed main dish. So yes, Ted is putting his best foot forward, but he's doing so in a way that is natural to him and his upbringing.
They are definitely going to approach the subject of sexuality obliquely. Neither one of them is interested in potentially putting himself in a dangerous situation.
I'm glad you enjoyed this chapter. There will be more...uh...in-your-face ones later.
Thank you so much for this lovely review!
Hi, Noelle.
There are lots of nice little points to comment on in this scene. First I notice how Severus is worrying himself to death about every detail of his preparations for his maybe-date-or-not-date -- his punctuality, his clothing choice, his host gift, his completely uncertain assessment of whether he was interpreting the meaning of this event correctly. But these nerves and lack of self-confidence could attend any sort of social meeting, straight or gay. Is he there to be a boyfriend, or is the plant doctor just making a house call?
Ted is apparently the opposite of Severus, cool and collected, but I'm certain he is aware of every nuance of every action, such as how he eats the shortbread and licks his fingers. It's a performance.
I liked how you had Severus take control of this moment of the dinner date by turning the conversation to the failing orchid, and your sentence of how his brain clicked into competent botanist mode, so that now he knows what to do (check out the orchid) and what to say (technical assessment, diagnosis, prescription of treatment).
I also liked your simile -- "like Marianne Dashwood after Willoughby's (may he rot in hell) betrayal." I wondered if that meant that Severus himself had read the book in which those characters and events were featured, or if it was stated for the benefit of the readers. Either way, it's a great comparison.
Well, this dinner date is off to a great start. And the orchid may be saved. Hallelujah.
Vicki
Author's Response:Severus is definitely an overthinker, that's for sure.
I do think that Ted is opposite of Severus in many ways (it's the sunshine/grump trope) however I find it interesting that you are reaading Ted's enjoyment of the cookies as a performance he's giving for Severus's benefit. I did not intend it that way: I was trying to show more of Ted's personality--that he takes obvious enjoyment of simple things. There's a vulnerability in being open enough to actively enjoy things in a world where it's "cool" to act disinterested all the time. It's interesting how different readers interpret things differently.
Severus is the sole narrator of this story. He has absolutely read Sense and Sensibility. His opinion of Willoubhby is his own.
Thank you so much for this lovely review!
Hi, Noelle.
I see that this chapter is 15 days after the previous chapter, just time enough for the orchid to start getting into trouble because of wrong light, wrong watering, wrong humidity, wrong whatever. Perhaps this was inevitable. But this particular moment, while Severus is sitting with Lily at the edge of the lake, is certainly an inconvenient time for Ted to be calling.
Perhaps we've all been in Severus's shoes at one time or another, forced to take a telephone call while trying desperately not to reveal the subject of the call to 'overhearers' (I guess that's the auditory equivalent of 'onlookers'). And he's not successful, as we can see by Lily's persistent questioning. "Who the fuck was that?" (None of her business, but that doesn't stop her.) "Bullshit. You're totally blushing." The only way that Severus can cut this line of conversation short is by starting to run again, which may not stop the questions in the end, but only delay them. Poor guy.
No, I don't think that either of them is going to quit smoking. But we shall see; maybe you plan to surprise us. Is there a prompt for that?
Thanks for all these little scenes that are adding up to a real story. <3
Vicki
Author's Response:They do quit smoking eventually, but you're right they won't be quitting during the course of this story.
Yeah, Severus is definitely feeling some anxiety here trying to keep his potential love life separate from his friend/work life.
Thank you so much for this lovely review!
Hi, Noelle!
You have been so diligent in catching up on responses lately that I need to follow your example in catching up on writing reviews. I have been following this story chapter by chapter as you post the chapters, always tickled by how cleverly you insert the prompts into each scene. For example, this tête-a-tête between Severus and Ted is interruped by a kiss from somebody else, not one of those two.
Given that Severus's inner dialogue is liberally sprinkled with the word 'fuck,' I started to wonder if he speaks aloud to Ted in that same way, so I went back and checked the spoken dialogue, and I saw that he does not. It's all internal.
You have to feel sorry for Severus, trying to keep the various aspects of his life separate but being interrupted by Lily and Sirius barging in, and now they will want to know more about Ted ("Where do you know him from?"), which I see Severus does not want to disclose. I hope they don't badger him about it later, or worse, tease him about it.
When you write your AU stories, using familiar names applied to AU personae, I often wonder whether these personae still retain some of the qualities that we have learned in the past to associate with those names. Classical Sirius would tease and needle Severus about Ted, and the more Severus clammed up, the more classical Sirius would badger him. I hope that Sirius will not behave that way in this Alternate Universe.
An enjoyable and original story! Thank you for writing.
Vicki
Author's Response:Hi Vicki!
Thank you so much for following along this little story. That's very kind of you :D
You'll see in following chapters that Severus does cuss when he talks, though perhaps not as liberally as he does when he thinks. Many cops do the same.
I do feel sorry for Severus in this scene. He's not out to Lily or Sirius, and he's not ready to be.
I think it's safe to say that Severus will be badgered about Ted later, and that Sirius makes fun of him in this universe as well. In Breathing Underwater they have a very contentious relationship.
Thank you so much for this lovely review!
I'm loling at Severus saying he isn't easy - and then Ted bringing down all those standards. To be fair, they've both been dying for each other for a while now and things were bound to escalate.
It's so sad that the moment get interrupted by Mrs. Lupin. Obviously, Severus WOULD want to know though and she did the right thing by calling. I loved the way you worked the prompt into that moment and created this very touching moment where Ted comforts Severus with a kiss to his knuckles.
All caught up now so I'm very excited for the next update <3
Love, Quilly.
Author's Response:You're so right--they have had the hots for each other for a while. I had been planning for this to be a somewhat slower burn, but then Ted and Severus were like: nope! We're gonna get it now.
I'm so glad you liked how I worked the knuckle kiss in!!
Thank you so much for your encouragement and this lovely review!!
Of course Ted is an amazing cook. Of course. He's justthe ideal man all around and if Severus doesn't take him at this point, I'm gonna need to step in and take him for myself. ;P
They've finally both said it! At this point, they're both so into each other, I feel like they were just missing an excuse to work that bit into the conversation, and I'm glad that Ted was able to finally do it. And that Severus followed right along.
I love that Ted asked if he could kiss him. It was so sweet and considerate and just so Ted. Really lovely first kiss! Yay!!!
Love, Quilly.
Author's Response:What can I say--I stan a man who can cook :D
I wasn't sure they were going to explicitly come out to each other in this chapter, but Ted just grabbed the bull by the horns and went with it. I feel like he's been dropping all of these increasingly less subtle hints to Severus, and he's finally like--dude, I'm bi and I like you, okay?
I'm so so glad you liked Ted asking permission to kiss Severus! I love it when they ask permission :D
Thanks for this lovely review!
Um, yes to the forearms being hot. And he brought shortbread! I love how Severus is this super tough guy but also loves his ma and brings shortbread to dates. He's just the dream, really.
This was Ted flirting with him, right? Honestly, Severus is so me. Like, it's totally flrting but then there's this small voice in the back of your mind going like, wait, but is it, really?
"My hero." Swoooooooonnnn.
Love, Quilly.
Author's Response:I can't tell you how happy it makes me that you're finding Seveurs appealing and sympathetic :D
Yeah, it can be so hard to admit to yourself that someone might be flirting with you. Because what if you're wrong?
Thank you so much for this lovely review!
Awe I love Severus devotion to Lily but obviously it's going to be a thing that pales in comparison to how he's going to end up feeling about Ted, right??!?! ;P
Haha "the trust fund husband" got me lol because, I mean, yeah James Potter is essentially just that.
"Only if you ask nicely." Ummmmm Severus and I were yelling out the SAME EXACT SAME THING AT THE SAME EXACT TIME! OMG!!!
Another great chapter!
Love, Quilly.
Author's Response:Well...it's complicataed is all I can say about Sev's feelings for Lily and his feelings for Ted.
AHHH I love that you and Sev had the same reaction!
Thank you so much for this lovely review :D
Yay for them exchanging numbers of Mediterranean food. Double yay for double entendre.
Hahahaha for Sirius killing Sev's libido!!!!! Absolutely brilliant line to describe Sirius' entry!!! OOoo Lily is Sev's partner - I like this AU more and more!
~XOXO Ysh
Author's Response:Sirius is totally showing up at the wrong time. And Lily too for that matter, since Sev is all confused by her. Oh well, at least Ted has Severus's phone number now...
That description of chicago is so fundamentally Midwest winter-spring transition that I totally love it! Aww I'm loving their exchanges more and more :D
~XOXO Ysh
Author's Response:Thank you!!!
Hi Noelle,
Here for more Ted/Sev! Loved the descriptions in this chapter - the opening line especially. Also, calling out to healthcare disparity really spoke to me. In between all of that Nurse Pitt turned into Nurse Care Bear, lol!!! Another awesome line: "Inexorable in its softness, the sorta force you wouldn’t notice until it’d wrapped itself around your heart and smothered it."
Ted is just what Sev needs!
~XOXO Ysh
Author's Response:Healthcare in the USA is total bullshit. For real.
So I loved the Nurse Brad Pitt in the opening chapter, but I wanted to give Ted a different nickname. Severus giving everyone nicknames is an ongoing thing in Breathing Underwater (which this story is a spin off of) and I was worried that if he continued calling Ted Nurse Pitt, it was sort of whitewashing Ted, who is half Korean in my story. I almost went with Teddy Bear (because Ted, lol) but then I thought Care Bear was a little less obvious and more Ted, since he is such a cuddly and caring person.
Thanks for this lovely review!
Hi Noelle!
Dropping by to check this story out! Ooooo hot hospital nurse being all sensitive with Sev seems just the fluff I needed to read today, haha! Love the narration style - really helps me get a feel for Sev's brain! Cop meets nurse yay!
Author's Response:Thank you so much! This is quite a departure from what I've written before. I'm really glad that you are enjoying it :D
Hiiii! Here for some tag and some more of my favorite Nurse Care Bear crushing.
Severus' mood during that whole first paragraph is such a vibe. I love how he makes that little snippy remark about New Yorkers too. hehe
I feel like Severus is in this constant state of high alert, not being able to really enjoy his day to day life because he's always worrying about his ma and what might come next for her. I also really liked finding out he enjoys working with plants. It reveals this other, softer side of him that we don't often get to see.
I feel like Ted's throwing some VERY OBVIOUS hints now. Storking his forearm with his thumb. Remembering about his mum and being sympathetic enough to ask and listen. Asking him to lunch. I hope that Severus picks up on these little hints and starts throwing some back as well!
This was another very sweet chapter! I'm really enjoying your story. I would've never thought of a Ted/Severus pairing but you write them in such a way that feels completely believable and I've grown very attached to these two.
Love, Quilly.
Author's Response:Chicagao is a big city, but it's a midwestern big city--so people often smile and/or nod to strangers on the street as they pass by.
Severus is usually on high alert (thanks Tobias) but he is especially on high alert now, since Ma is so sick.
Ted is seriously being SO OBVIOUS. Unfortunately Severus a) has a hard time reading social cues and b) has a hard time believing anything good will ever happen to him.
Thank you so much for this lovely review! I'm so glad you're enjoying it :D
Hey Noelle, here for our swap!
I've only just realised that the chapter and collection titles are song lyrics/titles (yeah, I should have noticed earlier, I know!). I wonder if there's any hidden meaning behind any of them?
Gotta love Severus's sardonic tone at the beginning of this chapter. Not that his thoughts are wrong; I'm in full agreement. March is a hellish month, for sure. After enduring several months of proper winter, it feels like a bridge too far, and it always seems to dangle a nice day here and there as if to remind us of what we could have won, right? Filling us with hope that the weather is finally starting to get better, and then bam; here comes another week of vile, wet, cold stuff. Yeah; I have NO LOVE for March, either.
I also love the little comparison between Chicago and NYC street etiquette, haha! (NYC sounds a bit like London, where everyone's usually far too busy/important to acknowledge each other).
Severus is getting so cynical here, he clearly needs this day of respite away from nursing his sick mother; his mother obviously sees this and so does her friend. It's so sweet that Hope Lupin put $20 in his pocket like he's a young child, haha! Much to his irritation, although deep down I expect he's quietly pleased about it.
Wandering through pretty blooms and greenery is a chill way to unwind; it's very hard to be frustrated when surrounded by natural beauty. I don't know why it surprises me that Severus is green-fingered - I mean, why shouldn't he be, when in an alternate reality, he's a potions master? Probably because it gives him a caring, sensitive look which is at odds with this bitterness that seems to be flourishing at present.
And who should also be checking out plants in this greenhouse but Ted? Ted, who isn't at all green-fingered but persists year after year; you know, maybe Ted should get Severus to help him care for this year's orchid and see if that gets it past June? ;) There's something about someone attractive that suddenly renders us incapable of sensible speech, right? Makes us say all sorts of weird things like 'I'm still here' LOL. Honestly, Sev :joy: And yeah, that was downright RUDE of Ted to touch Sev's arm without warning and nearly making his balls explode...and to keep touching his arm...whew, it's getting pretty hot in here, is it a tropical greehouse perchance??
The fact that Ted remembers to ask about Severus's mother speaks volumes about his attentiveness, and the reasons for this attentiveness <3 and lunch sounds just the perfect way to keep being attentive towards one another for a little longer...
Really loving this collection of prompts and totally shipping Teverus! You got me hooked <3
Meera <3
Author's Response:Hi Meera!
The chapters in Breathing Underwater are all titled with song titles or lyrics, so I decided to continue that pattern here. I try to pick a song that works with the vibe of the chapter and that might work as background music if this were a film or TV show. I'm also putting together a playlist for both this story and Breathing Underwater featuring all the songs :D
I wanted to give Severus some serious interest in this AU, and I decided chemistry was a little too obvious. Plus, if he'd been into chemistry, he would likely have had options to get a better job than being a police officer. Botony isn't too far away from potioning, both requiring care and attention to detail and patience, so I chose that for him.
I'm so excited that you are shipping Ted and Severus :D
What a lovely setting, a warm, humid greenouse full of tropical plants, lush and colorful. If anything could make a Sunday feel relaxed and lazy, it would be a trip to a place like that.
I am glad that Snape's mother is well enough to be treated at home, even though no one is saying 'recovery' and Snape expects a turn for the worse at any minutes. So Snape is ordered by the women to get out of the house and go somewhere, so he ends up at the greenhouse, not intending to buy anything, but just drawn to the one place that might be called his happy place, among all the flourishing, colorful plants that seem to embody all that is good in his world. An interesting facet of his character, that he fills his house with plants and tends them carefully enough that they don't die. They are his friends who never talk back to him.
I notice that Ted says, "I haven't seen you around Swedish in a while." I was a little surprised, because if Ted is interested in Severus, Ted might have checked the patient roster to see if Mrs. Snape was still an inpatient; maybe he doesn't have access to that. And when Ted asks, "How's you mother doing?," Severus doesn't say, "She's been discharged," he just says, "She's still here too."
As the two men continue to converse, we learn that they have a common interest, of sorts, houseplants. Ted buys an orchid every spring, and it always dies. He doesn't know why. Severus says, "Trying's the only way to learn." but of course if Ted keeps doing the same thing every year, he'll keep getting the same results. Obvious he needs some informative advice, but I notice that Severus doesn't offer any, even though Ted is giving signals that he is interested in him. I'm afraid that any orchid Ted buys today will be headed towards its doom. :(
So Ted is making the first move, inviting Severus to join him at a restaurant and inviting him to give some advice about keeping the orchid alive. It's not really about an orchid, though, The orchid is just the bridge.
I like the way you move this plot along, slowly but steadily. The 'fluff' in each chapter is small and subtle, but so far, so good. Nothing about Severus's realtions with other people will happen fast.
A very enjoyable chapter. I like what you are doing with this.
Vicki
Author's Response:At this point in the story, Ma is enduring chemotherapy, so she is at home as much as she is able to. Her last hospital stay was due to a bad reaction to the chemo, but she recovered, and so they soldier on. She is not exactly in immediate danger at this point, but it's very hard for Severus to let his guard down about that, even in the peaceful greenhouse.
You make a good point about Ted's orchid. I am afraid it has much to suffer. But you're right, the orchid is a bridge to (hopefully) better things.
Thank you so much! I'm so glad you are enjoying this :D
Hi, Noelle.
I was impressed by how skillfully you wrote the dialogue in this chapter. The loaded sentences, the "secret handshake", the 'what does he really mean' agonizing. The riskiness, not knowing how the other would react. It's like a secret code or a foreign language.
You drop little hints about how Ted Tonks's job is sometimes difficult and unsatisfying by your physical description of him when he comes out of the hospital onto the sidewalk, his mention of working a night shift, and his statement of wishing that he could just keep walking and never go back inside.
I am curious about what was going on in the hospital -- I think about the nurses being overwhelmed with the work of caring for Covid patients, but this story does not seem to be set in the era of Covid. Perhaps the details of why that was a tough shift for Ted don't really matter to the storyline anyway.
I suppose that Snape will have to go back to work, having run through his vacation time. Maybe it's for the best. Hanging around the hospital agonizing all the time isn't helping him any. But since this story is a tiny bit fluffy, maybe Snape's mother will get better, the weather will improve, and Snape and Ted will run into each other again. One can hope!
A good chapter, with much promise.
Vicki
Author's Response:Thank you so much! It took a little time to work out the dialogue so that it would have all those layers of meaning. 1999 in a major US city isn't the worst place to be queer, but it wouldn't be out of the bounds of expectation that revealing that you were might lead to verbal abuse and/or physical violence. Severus is naturally prone to overthinking things, but in this case his safety might depend on reading the signs Ted is sending him correctly. If Ted isn't interested in Severus, and Severus reveals that he might be interested in Ted, he's risking more than just a little embarrassement at a romantic overture being rejected.
Nursing is such a difficult profession, even if there's not a global pandemic. Its physically and emotionally demanding in a way that few other professions are. Ted has had a bad night at work, and is taking a much needed break here. I don't think he would have actually quit his job on the spot, even if he hadn't run into Severus. But this positive encounter definitely makes it easier for him to pick himself back up and go back to work.
I am trying to keep the stories fluffy, but with Severus there's always got to be some angst.
Thank you so much for swapping with me!
Yours,
Noelle
Hi, Noelle. I have read all four chapters of this story, which I suppose will be as happy as a Severus Snape story can be, given that you are writing to fluffy prompts.
I am touched by how strongly Severus is affected by his mother's illness and poor prognosis, and I compare it to the Severus Snape whom we met in the 7 books. In your Snape-the-cop series you are using the familiar names of characters but in all different roles, and I am fascinated to see how much of original Snape still exists in policeman Snape. (Obviously the speaking style is very different.) The grumpiness is still there, but the crying in public is all new.
Ted Tonks seems to have that rare ability to sense what other people are thinking/feeling/needing and the self-confidence to act on that. He recognizes Snape from having seen him a couple of weeks ago in the cafeteria and remembers that Snape had been distressed about something at that time. Lots of people would have neither recognized nor remembered. So it's so appropriate that Ted is a nurse. (Puts a smile on my face.)
Your story invokes a lot of sympathy for Snape, which is not always easy to do for him. When he's in his mother's room, he can hardly force hiself to leave, and now that he's in the coffee shop, he can hardly force himself to go back. In fact, he would rather stay there and drink terrible coffee than go back. But at the same time he's checking his phone a billion times to see if there's any news about his mother's condition. He cannot look at his book. He's just a ball of misery, torn this way and that way, not knowing what to do. You portray this all very well.
In the final lines, policeman Snape is more open to connecting with a stranger than potioneer Snape wuld have been. So when I read that he is willing to take a walk outside with Ted, it feels unexpected to me. This is a slightly different Snape. But this story is supposed to have some fluffiness in it, so maybe Snape will actually act in his own best interest, for once.
I liked your quip about the weather: It's cold as hell, but at least it's windy. Sounds like something a true Chicagoan would say!
Thanks for this lovely and intriguing story.
Vicki
Author's Response:Hi Vicki!
Transposing the HP characters into ever more far-flung AUs is way more fun than I ever thought it would be. A year ago, I don't think I would have started a story like this, but now that I have, it, and the Breathing Underwater Novel are some of the most fun things I've ever written.
I love that you picked up on Severus's speech pattern here, and how it differes from canon. His narrative voice is SO MUCH FUN TO WRITE. I started with the understanding that canon Severus is from a very working class family. Spinner's End is basically a slum in the midlands. When he (and Lily for that matter) first go to Hogwarts, their accents and patterns of speech would have been strongly marked by their upbringing. However, by the time we see adult Severus, he's obviously cultivated this more refined and distinctive way of speaking. It makes sense that as a boy trying to fit in at a boardng school and among the other students in Slytherin house, that he would have immitated the more accepted accents and patterns of speech of the people he needed to ingratiate himself to (such as Lucius Malfoy).
Severus in Breathing Underwater is also from a solidly working class, American background (though not a slum). However, he did not go to a boarding school, or even to university. He went to the Chicago Public Schools, and then straight into a blue collar job, and so he had no real reason to shed the vocabulary he grew up wtih. In fact, I would think at this point it's almost a matter of pride for him that he does speak the way he does. I also wanted to give him a distictive voice--a less refined version of what we see in canon if you will, but still distictive.
I also extrapolate from canon that he has a constant stream of (often insulting) commentary on what is going on around him from the (often funny) comments he does make in canon. I imagine that he's always thinking a lot more of these things than he actually says, and since he's the sole narrator of Breathing, we get to hear all of them in his inner monologue.
As for the crying in public, we see him cry twice in The Prince's Tale: once in front of Dumbledore, and once alone at Grimmauld Place. So we know that canon Severus does feel emotions and does cry. It wasn't much of a jump for me to think that he might break down in a hospital cafeteria. Yes, it's a public place, but it's also a place where people have to deal with events that trigger intense emotions.
I also feel like we have no idea how Severus in canon would behave when confronted with someone he found attractive, since it's not like he would bring Harry (our primary narrator) along on his dates, or bring Harry into his confidence in that way. In this case, there's no real reason for Severus to turn down a low commitment, low pressure outting like a walk with Ted, especially when he is in need of some distraction from his other problems.
I'm glad you found Severus sympathetic! Thank you so much for this lovely review :D
Yours,
Noelle
Ohmygoshkdkdf! Everything about this chapter is what my fluff dreams is made up! All those little lines, those small moments building up, ugh my heart just couldn't! Anyways, back to the beginning...
Severus dark mood in the beginning of this mood is so perfectly portrayed and justified. Relateable too, in the sense that, yeah, it's REALY hard to be deal with an illness like cancer fo anyone but being working class adds a certain level of pressure because you can't just make that person your entire life. You still have to work to be able to take care of them.
Way to make a jerk of yourself in five words or less. Awe, I thought it was adorable how much much Severus kept trying to say the right thing/judging every single thing he said becuse he wanted to sound just right.
"Your partner? Sounds like he should take better care of you." This IS a loaded statement and not just because of the secret handshake thing but because TED WANTS TO TAKE CARE OF, SEVERUS. Okay, I'll stop with the screaming, but really, how freaking cute is that Ted misunderstands and automatically reaches for the fact that Severus isn't being taken care of enough.
I was a bit worried that Severus wouldn't correct him so I'm glad he made it clear he meant his work, female, married partner.
Ted's hands were freezing from the cold, but that simple touch made SEverus break out in a sweat. This line <3 I love it. That one and Ted looked Severus dead in the eye, pinned Severus tot he spot with his warm gaze as surely as if he'd used his hands to do it left my heart absolutely racing.
I really enjoyed this new chapter and I can't wait for more of moments with Nurse Care Bear - I mean, Ted lol
Love, Quilly.
(And tag <3)
Author's Response:Hi Quilly!!
AHHH I love that you picked up on Ted wanting to take care of Severus!!! Ted is a naturally caring person, but I feel like he already wants to have a personal interest in Severus's well-being. The feeling is mutual, even if Severus is expressing his wish to look out for Ted in a more anti-hero type way when he wants to know who's made Ted so upset so Severus can get rid of that person so that Ted won't be upset anymore.
I was proud of Severus for correcting Ted's misconcpetion there. Severus definitely had to think about whether it was worth the risk.
I'm so glad that you're enjoying this story! Thank you for the lovely review :D
Yours,
Noelle
Ahhh jfddywwdeh8fidfh that end line!
"Ted looked Severus dead in the eye, pinned Severus to the spot with his warm gaze as surely as if he'd used his hands to do it."
"It got better."
Ok, ok, ok, backing up a bit though. Also, hi, hello, here for your review request hah.
I like how, even with this being fluff, you manage to retain a lot of Sev's snarky, dark humor. It totally balances out his interactions with Ted. Ted, who is 1,010% adorable and just radiating sunshine. But also, we see he's not like "perfect," which is another hard thing steer clear of whenever you create a grump/sunshine dynamic. And you do that quite well, by the way!
I found my insides fluttering and warming up whenever Ted asks about his partner, gives him the "are you into dudes," handshake, and eep! It just really had me all :eyes: at attention and all stupid grins because the way Sev's navigating that internally and then how he explains it to him and then Ted's response...it was just all a delightful game of "let's discover things about one another, but be adorable while doing it." I am sure there is a smarter way of explaining how that made me feel, but I just can't figure it out right now hah. Just know, it made me FEEL things of a warm, fluffy, romantic nature. ;)
AND HE TOUCHED HIM. And was like "YES I DO WANT TO KNOW IF YOU'RE SINGLE." DAMNIT TED, I LOVE YOU. Ok, idk why the damnit? What's so wrong about loving your Ted Tonks here? Absolutely nothing! But I did not wake up this morning thinking I was going to feel SO MUCH about these characters, and yet, here we are.
But that end line! I mean. It hits so good! It breaks through all of Sev's dark and cynical thoughts and had me going "awww..." as the reader. Before I jumped on here to review and then maniacally smashed my keyboard LOL.
I just really like how you draw the fluff out in such understated ways (so far). I mean obviously they're still getting to know one another, so it can't be too overt/obvious, but I think as time goes on it's something that will likely build. Already I see it building from ch 1, where Ted just sits there and makes genial conversation, to this chapter where he is more suggestive in how he's trying to get to know Sev more. And Sev is slowly opening up more and more to him too. So this slow build towards major fluffdom is just a delightful feeling.
Anyway, I loved this installment and can't wait to see where you go next with these two! (:
<3 Courtney
Author's Response:AHHHHH I can't tell you how happy it makes me that you are falling for these characters!!! I fell for them myself totally by accident while I was writing Breathing Underwater, and I simply had to give them their own story.
The fluff is understated for sure, but I'm glad to know that it is still there. Between Severus's crass and negative way of narrating things, and the fact that he's...uh...Severus, I feel like the fluff had to be more subtle. But Ted is doing his best to shine some sunshine into Severus's life.
Thank you so much for this lovely review!
Hello, Noelle, my love! Here for your request! <3
Well, Ted/Severus, that's an unusual ship for sure... :P But I'm already loving it! It's kinda amusing pairing Sev's grumpyness with Ted Tonks' pure sunshine, such a great dynamic! And I'm very curious to see how you develop it in later chapters :D
Poor Severus, though... it's so harsh, watching your sick parent in hospital, waiting for the worst and knowing there's nothing you can do except waiting... been there... can sympathize... I hate hospitals... :/
The trouble was, now that he'd escaped the oppressive white walls and antiseptic stench of the place, he was having a hard time convincing his ass to go back to it. Yeah, can totally understand this, too... :/
I love the first encounter with Ted! A nurse is the perfect profession for him! <3 I can imagine how Severus would feel ashamed at breaking down in a public space (really, Sev, nothing wrong in crying in a hospital...) but of course Ted would be unjudgemental and offer his sympathy (and silence... because, yes, sometimes no words is the best contribution...) The fact that in all of this Severus can appreciate Ted's aspect makes me smile, btw... Seriously, this fucker looked like a goddamn Asian American Brad Pitt. Lol :P
And then Ted seeks him out at the restaurant, and he's still perfect sunshine, and I love Severus' reaction to him... :P "I'm Severus Snape. I'm a cop, and I don't believe in no world peace." Ahahah! That's such a Sev's thing to say... :P (I mean, can't blame his cynicism... it's hard to believe in world peace at times... :/ but I like the ice-cream solution... someone should attempt it...)
I'm so glad Severus accepted Ted's offer of going for a walk, he needs the distraction and the company! It's nice to see Severus doing something nice for himself for once, and it's lovely to see Ted bringing some light in his life already! This is so promising already! :D
Lovely first chapter! I'm enjoying a lot seeing what everyone's coming up with for Jacque's challenge, so many great ideas! Thank you for requesting and bringing me here! :D
Snowball hug,
Chiara
Author's Response:Hospitals are just the worst.
I totally agree that people should try the ice cream solution. Ice cream and find some common ground, you know?
I'm also glad that Sev accepted Ted's invitation. He definitely needed to get some fresh air and just be out of the hospital for a while.
Thank you so much for this lovely review!
Hey Noelle! Here with a tag review for you.
There's a certain irony to Severus whiliing away his time with cigarettes when his mother is lying in a hospital bed with cancer. And in a country like the USA where healthcare is privately funded, it must feel as though serious (and expensive) illnesses only strike those who can't afford it :( Also feel for Severus having used up his holiday entitlement on this vigil; was there no such thing as compassionate leave in the 1990s? It's such a sad state of affairs :( So it's most heartening to see Tonks appear, to bum a smoke off Severus; but Tonks, you should know better, working in a hospital and all that! Ah yes, but hospital staff are only human after all, and prey to the same vices as everyone else.
Severus has a partner? Ohhh - police partner!! Phew - you had me (and Ted) going for a moment there. And Ted's just given a bit of himself away with that statement 'Your partner? Sounds like he should take better care of you' - yeah, I'm with you on that one, Ted! He should <3
This:
"Ted had scooted close enough to Severus he could feel the heat of Ted’s body; this gentle thing trying to warm up the both of them. Inexorable in its softness, the sorta force you wouldn’t notice until it’d wrapped itself around your heart and smothered it."
and this:
“I don’t know,” Ted said. “When I walked out here, I was ready to keep walking and never go back inside. But now I think I can make it a few more hours at least.”
“Yeah? Why?”
Ted looked Severus dead in the eye, pinned Severus to the spot with his warm gaze as surely as if he’d used his hands to do it.
“It got better.”
:squeal: This is just so bloody adorable, and the perfect fluffy way to wrap up this chapter. I am in awe at how well you craft these short scenes so beautifully and make me feel all sorts of feelings for these two guys who have only just met. How can I be shipping them so bad already?!
More please!
Meera <3
Author's Response:I'm glad you caught the cigarette irony. Don't worry--by the time Severus gets to Breathing Underwater, he's quit smoking.
The USA healthcare system is the devil. Severus has only been a cop for a year at this point, and he really hasn't built up much vacation/personal time. So no, he doesn't have the option to take any more time off work, because if he does, he won't be able to help pay for Ma's care. Ma (and I haven't said this yet in the story) is a house cleaner, and she has no health insurance. And since this is set well before the ACA, that means that Ma has zero insurance.
I was really glad that Sev and Ted got to connect in this chapter, at a moment where they were both feeling low. And then they made each other feel better :D
Thank you so much for this lovely review!
Hi Noelle! Here for some review tag <3
I love how strong Severus' feelings towards the coffee are right from the beginning. The acrid brew was so fucking bitter, you could probably use it as paint thinner. Lovely imagery there. I definitely tasted that in my mind.
I mean, the nurse was right to send him off, but I totally understand his feeling of exasperation at the moment. It's so hard not being able to do something when the ones we love are in pain/danger.
Asian American Brad Pitt had my heart from the get-go. Like, how sweet was he to just let Severus cry. And he's absolutely right, ice cream IS the answer to world peace. fairy god-nurse hahahaa
I love how Ted and Severus immeditely foil one another - but, at the same time, they seem to fit really with with each other.
I think this is the first thing I read of yours, and I'm already loving your writing. It's so enticing, full of emotion but easy to follow. I am definitely looking forward to geting to know some of your other work and also curious to see if the next installation here is going to follow this Severus/Ted story. Either way, I'm sure it's going to be great.
Love, Quilly.
Author's Response:The waiting is seriously the worst part of an illness like this.
Omg, thank you so much! I'm so flattered you're enjoying this and my writing :D
Hey Noelle! Here to tag you and catch up on your AP :)
Oh Severus. Hating the coffee but staying to drink it anyway. Did they grow coffee beans in Lakeview? False advertising if you ask me ;) And yeah, bad coffee is the pits. The only thing it's good for is increasing one's appreciation of decent coffee...
Poor Severus; sitting around in cafes and waiting areas and enduring the stress of a sick parent in hospital, torn between being duty-bound between faithfully remaining at his mother's bedside, but also needing time and space for himself, and that awful feeling of not wanting to go back into an oppressive hospital environment is so real. His mother's nurse is right when she sends Severus away and tells him he needs to look after himself, even though it's difficult to take a break without feeling bad about it, and there's always that chance that he won't be there with his mother when/if she slips away. He's no good to anyone if he makes himself ill in the process and ends up in hospital too.
Caring-without-saying-a-word nurses are THE BEST. Sometimes, there's nothing to say. The fact that the nurse is hot is rather lovely icing on the cake...
'Empathy dust in everyone's coffee' :SNORT:
'Tonks's grin was trying to light up the whole goddamn world' I LOVE THIS LINE! I love Severus's inner monologue in this chapter, and his initial thoughts about Ted, and the instant, mutual attraction. It's so adorable, and yeah, Severus should definitely take that walk.
This is such a great chapter, which is going to work equally well as part of a longer story or as a standalone piece. Really looking forward to seeing what you make of the remaining prompts <3
Meera <3
Author's Response:You are so right--they definitely do NOT grow coffee beans in Lakeview, lmao
You're so right about everything that's hard about having a loved one in the hospital. It's like you need multiple versions of yourself: one to sit with the loved one, and one to take care of yourself.
The empathy dust line was my favorite line in this chapter--I'm so glad you liked it :D
Thank you so much for this lovely review!!
"It was just that he generally preferred the coffee not to exfoliate his fucking tastebuds on the way down."
^^Bahaha omgawsh why do you sit here Sev? Ok, but quickly we see that he's here as a way to escape what he's going through with his Mom's treatment. But his whole inward diatribe about shit coffee had me cracking. up. I feel like this because I rarely like coffee shop coffee hah.
"Asian American Brad Pitt."
*dies from amusement* But yeah, that dood (sadly I am unfamiliar with your FC name), but he hot. *fans self* Also. I love that he just always has nicknames for people in this universe and that this is Ted's.
I love that you're bringing this anecdote that he tells Miranda to life! Or rather, to the forefront of this series. We see Sev's feelings about the moment, in real(er) time than we do in that story where he seems a little hung up, but mostly over Ted. Here everything is new and curious and he's all :eyes: while we're all :eyes; about what is going to unfold.
It's exciting and new! :)
YAAAS FOR THE ULTIMATE GRUMP/SUNSHINE DYNAMIC. "I believe ice cream solves world peace," who ARE YOU Ted Tonks? The most beloved dork I have ever seen LOL.
Ahhh ok, I love this! It's not pure fluff, but the way Sev sort of offers up that little smile at the end...he could turn a little fluffy from Ted. And Ted is pure, cottony candy fluff so yeah. Together. This is gonna be fun.
I'm really excited about this dynamic already and I feel like this prompt seamlessly fit your already existing head canon of those two from Breathing Underwater, so that was kind of neat as well.
Awesome job!
<3 Courtney
Also TAG and prayers to Merlin that I don't fuck it all up again xD
Author's Response:Daniel Henney is the actor who I used for Ted's face claim. I've never seen him in anything, but I thought he was pretty hot :D
I still haven't written the ice cream incident proper, but maybe I will at some point. I decided it wasn't fluffy enough for a fluff collection, you know?
The sunshine/grump is one of my favorite types of couples :D
Thank you so much for this lovely review!!
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