Name: Oregonian (Signed) · Date: 15 Jul 2022 10:10 PM · For: Shrodinger’s Emotion

Hi, Ysh!  I just nominated this story for the August Story of the Month.  The nominator gets to write a few lines about the Reason for the Nomination, and this is what I wrote:

"After reading endless Marauders stories, I thought I'd had my fill of them, but for this story I make an exception. This one-shot by Ysh is the final story a three-part series, but it stands alone very well.  Featuring Lily, Severus, Sirius, and James, it is thoughtful, nuanced, serious, complicated.  The eternal struggle between what you want and what you actually can get.  Every character is multifaceted.  Nothing is easy or obvious.  Wisdom comes slowly, tentatively, from unexpected sources.  The future is never assured.  My favorite line: "Sometimes things work out serendipitously.  Other times, you run into Sirius Black."

 

I loved your simple style (not all duded up with flowery language) for a thoughtful story, in which the thoughrfulness shines through.  Very well written.  You have captured Sirius so well -- his playfulness and his serious side all together.  He is his owon contradiction.  Severus, who can't have it both ways, much as he wants that. Lily and James, who are taking steps into an unknowable future.  thank you for writing this lovely and deep story.

 

Vicki

 

Name: Stella Blue (Signed) · Date: 03 Jul 2022 10:15 PM · For: Shrodinger’s Emotion

I think this was a really fitting conclusion to the trio of stories. It did get really complicated and they have a lot of history and hurt/confused feelings to sort through, so it's not going to be perfect instantly. I liked  that it ended on a nebulous but very hopeful note - that seems very realistic.

 

I also like that you introduced Snape in this chapter as well, as a foil to James. These are probably two of the most complicated friendships she's had (at least that have been mentioned in the story) and losing a best friend is imposibly hard, and I like that her interaction with Snape prompts her to think about James and what it will mean to lose him too. It makes sense. It's really interesting comparing these two back to back as well, because with Snape, he hurt her but continues to remain entitled, selfish, and not self-aware, and Lily knows there is nothing left there of what used to be a very valued connection.

 

And on the other hand - Lily was the one who hurt James, but at least in this chapter she seems to have gained the self-awareness to know she can try to do something about it and modify her behavior and assumptions, and while she doesn't do it perfectly and they do argue a little, she is trying. And fortunately James is forgiving enough to hear her out. It's going to take a lot of work still but it seems they've reached an understanding of some sort at least.

 

As always I appreciated Sirius as the comic relief with the cupcakes (hard discussions are easier with cupcakes), and the way he is clearly looking out for James' feelings when he tells Lily to be sure first.

 

This was a great series of stories - wonderful writing and I'm glad I read them!

Name: jemima-moon (Signed) · Date: 11 Jun 2022 08:46 AM · For: Shrodinger’s Emotion

And here we are again and I love it and ARE YOU SURE this is the end of the series? Because I would like MORE please!

 

Okay, so this is our first look at Snape and I think you've nailed his characterisation. We see how entitled he feels when it comes to Lily. He loves her and he thinks that excuses the rest of his choices and behaviour and doesn't listen to her when she tries to explain how he's hurting her. Also it's CLASSIC Snape to bring up James again in this conversation as if the two of them are on the same level. I know he has some redeeming moments in canon, but he's such a slimy character and I like how that comes through in your writing, while at the same time you give us space to understand him.

 

And then we get another Sirius chat! The cupcakes! I just love the idea of him cheerily living his life and watching Lily getting more and more worked up. Also it's so sweet that he seems to know what she's going to do before she's even worked it out for herself, and I love that he warns her nto to do it if she's not sure. He's Lily's friend too, but his priority will always be James.

 

And then that Lily/James conversation is everything! Look at them trying to be honest with each other and getting all confused! And some of the back and forth dialogue was just wonderful:

“Well,” he finally turned sideways to match her gaze, “what changed, Evans?”

 

“We did.”

 

“And it cost me your friendship."

 

“But friendship isn’t what you are after.” His hazel eyes pooled as they searched her face earnestly. 

 

“No it isn’t.”

 

 

And I like how althought Lily went to find James and initiated this conversation, the decision to actually pursue a relationship very much comes from both of them. They're starting as equals which sets them up for something great, whereas if they'd got together earlier when he was chasing and annoying her, they'd have been set up for failure.

 

 

Absolutely loved this, as always. If you ever wanted to write, I don't know, maybe a novel length Jily, I would be HERE for it. 

 

 

Jem xxx

Name: Oregonian (Signed) · Date: 09 Jun 2022 06:41 PM · For: Shrodinger’s Emotion

Hi, Ysh!  Back again for the third of the three reviews for our Review Swap.

 

I'm glad that you didn't just make everything all better with the wave of a wand.  And it was an inspired idea to contrast Lily's fraught conversation with Severus with her also-fraught conversation with James.  Two young men with whom she had had heartwarming friendships that had later come to ashes and dust.

 

Your first six paragraphs of exposition might come across as rather heavy, but you avoid that by including some concrete, image-heavy illustrations, the Dark Cloud Phenomenon and Potter Positivity, and the annual winter solstice observation with Severus that they carried out for so many years in the past.  By the dialogue the reader can tell that Lily's emotions are on edge.  She has gone to the potions dungeon in the afterhours to recapture a feeling of calm, which has eluded her since her disconnection with James, and to her surprise Severus shows up, the other person with whom she has become disconnected (for different reasons).

 

I note that in this conversation with Severus, it is Severus who wants to get back together with Lily and Lily who refuses because of what Severus has said in the past.  That's the opposite of her relationship with James --she would like to repair the friendship with James, but he's not responding to her tentative outreach because of what she said to him in the past, in the alley behind the Leaky Caoudron.  

 

Did Lily see the correlation between her interchange with Severus and her dilemma about James?  I suppose she did, because she was suddenly impelled to go find James.  I really liked your line "Sometimes things work out serendipitously.  Other times, you run into Sirius Black."  Just perfect!

 

But after Sirius's usual goofiness, you have him show some true caring for Lily's happiness, when he says, "What is up, Evans?" and "I don't know what you're looking to get, Evans," and "don't do this if you're not sure."  Those were kind things for him to say.  I'm sure that Sirius is distressed by the unhappiness of his best friend, and so he's doing what he can, in his own Sirius way, to nudge things towards being better.  Even the Gryffindor-colored cupcakes end up being a positive contribution.

 

I must say you took a gamble when you had Lily respond angrily to James's tentative reply to her opening words with him.  Her speech that starts off , "Yes, you did!" could easily have put the kibosh on any chance of making a new connection with James, and I'm not sure why she allowed herself to say those words.  I think back to Sirius's statement, "I don't know what you're looking to get Evans," and it seems that she also doesn't know what she's looking to get.  Thank heavens for the cupcakes that made the two of them stop talking in the heat of the moment, eat sugar, calm down, and regain a little rationality.

 

So in the end, we are left with no more than a door beginning to open, but just a crack.  It will be a long journey, trying to build something positive from the few shards they have left, and you don't give any indications that it will necessarily be a success effort in the end.  A good way to end this three-part story.  (Especially since we all know that in the end they did come together.)

 

 

A very nice job, and you do the nuances of the conversations very well.  Thank you for suggesting this trio of stories for our Review Swap.

 

Vicki

Name: PinsandKneazles (Signed) · Date: 26 May 2022 07:40 AM · For: Shrodinger’s Emotion

Ysh! I'm back for the concluding part of this trilogy, hoping to goodness that Lily Evans and James Sodding Potter will both see sense and get together, all right?! Oh, and tag ;)

 

Ooh, I like the opening paragraph about love being both unique and universal...and I'm already dyyyying to know how Lily's path to love went via cupcakes, winter solstice and Dragonbreath liquor :eyes:

 

Oh Sev :( I am experiencing Schrodinger's emotion over this section, I think, where I simultaneously both feel sorry for and not sorry for Snape. Any Snily ship that may have existed has left the shore and crashed into a thousand pieces out at sea. Some things, there's just no turning back from. And this, what Lily and Snape once had, is one of them.

 

"Sometimes things work out serendipitously. Other times, you run into Sirius Black." OMG, this line is golden, haha! And Sirius isn't terribly helpful but he does get Lily to open up a little about missing James...

But I am SO HAPPY that James and Lily finally talked, and it culminated in a YAAAAAAAASS!! Because these two idiots have already wasted so much time over avoiding their feelings for each other and I LOVED all the confusion over 'I thought you had nothing to say' and 'that's not what I said'. It totally smushed my heart!! <3

Great job writing this! Loved following their story the way you've told it <3

Meera <3

 

 

 

Name: quill2parchment (Signed) · Date: 25 May 2022 12:56 AM · For: Shrodinger’s Emotion

And I'm back to see where our Jily ended up! <3 

I really felt bad for Lily at the beginning of this. It's now clear that she genuinely cares about James and that while she's (obviously) attracted to him she also just really likes him as a person and feels the absence of his energy, which by the way, is such a powerful way to describe James Potter.

I wasn't expecting for Snape to turn up in the story but I think it was a really well-thought out addition as it gave a deeper understanding of Lily. She very clearly cared about him at a very deep level, misses him, and wishes things were different, but, as she says, he had a choice and he made the wrong one. Also, she's right in saying he makes everything about James, so that instead of focusing on his own shortcomings, and that fact it's his continued mistakes that have cost him Lily's friendship, he's choosing to focus on her relationship with James. 

Sirius being overprotective of James was too freaking cute. And, honestly, I can 100% understand where's he's coming from because, in his eyes, his best friend probably just went through a really rough patch because the girl that he had a moment with that one girl he's been in love with since forever, and then she turned aroudn basically told him it had all meant nothing to her. I'd be weary if I was Sirius as well. 

The conversation between James and Lily felt a bit painful at times but, honestly I feel like it needed to be that. They needed to cut through the crap, sort of speak, and get down to what each of them needed to say. 

At the end, it felt like they had a good, fresh start. There were more things that needed to be said, but, finally, they're on the same page and ready to move forward and give their relationship a genuine and fair shot.

I really enjoyed all three pieces. It had me going through a rollercoaster of emotions but I'm so happy with the ending you have provided for us. Thank you so much for gracing us with this story. 

Love, Quilly. 

Tag <3

Name: Felpata_Lupin (Signed) · Date: 21 May 2022 01:56 PM · For: Shrodinger’s Emotion

Hi, betee! Here for your request! <3

Okay, I loved this! A lot! I love how the way you've described all of Lily's emotions throughout, and the progression of her finally realizing that she's always been in love with James... For some people, the road to realization is a slow burn, blurring timelines as they find themselves in the middle of it before they even know they started. For some people, it's all about that one moment where something suddenly falls into place, heady and grounding at the same time. For Lily Evans, it was neither and it was both. I just love this paragraph so much, it's the perfect rendition of her feelings! <3

And I also love how you played with the Shrodinger theme throughout. It's very clever, and again a great way to express how Lily's feeling, that middle way between subconsciously knowing exactly what you are looking for, but lacking the awareness at the same time... and it makes so much sense for Lily's character!

Another thing that I really, really loved was the way you described James' contagious energy! That's just quintessentially James Potter and I love that you put focus on it! And the way Lily suddenly feels apart from that energy... that's so interesting and clever, once again. There is so much depth in the way you describe their connection (or lack of), it's brilliant!

The argument with Severus... wow! And on one hand I do feel bad for him, but on the other... she's completely right, as much as she still cares for him and as much as she misses their previous friendship, there are things she can't compromise on, and him willingly choosing the Death Eater path is definitely one of them... and I'm disappointed in Severus for not seeing it, honestly... :/

Okay, but the way the argument with Sev leads her to realize that she needs James in her life is brilliant! Of course, she would run into Sirius, lol! Did I mention recently that I love Sirius? His carelessness and humour are just awesome, but he's also so very perceptive, which is awesome, too! He's the best! :P

"Evans, I did not say I have nothing to say. [...] I said I don't know what to say." / "Big difference!" / "There is, actually" Again, James has a point.

The progression of their talk was so well done. I loved it all. It was painful at points, but it made a lot of sense, it felt very authentic for them. And again so clever, how Lily gets to the realization that, yes, James is right, they can't be friends anymore, but friendship is not what she's looking for at this point anyway! And I'm so glad that despite all the hurt feelings they (well, Lily mostly :P) could figure it out! <3 And yes, they are together now!!! Finally!!! :D

Loved this! A lot! I've loved the Jily dynamic through all three one-shots, your portrayal of them was so well done and your writing was just delightful! I'm so proud of you, my dear betee! <3

(Forgot to mention, loved the dragonbreath cupcakes as a plot device! Again, such a clever way to link the three pieces together! :D)

I'm sure I have forgotten to mention something... anyway, wonderful job as always! <3

Big snowball hug!

Chiara