Name: prideofprewett (Signed) · Date: 09 Mar 2022 11:13 AM · For: Verbal Resignation

Hi Alicia! I'm back to check out your latest chapter of this story! 

 

Your opening is such a beautiful hook! 

 

You also do a great job showing Ron's determination to act following the incident with George. And you also show that Ron's heart is focused on the well being of his family that he would rather deal with his employment status before caring to his own wounds. Plus, I think that's a typical "man," thing. 

 

I really liked the detail about how he rarely hugged Ginny, but in this moment, he does it because it is needed. It shows a lot about their relationship and I think it highlights it in a realistic fashion. 

 

The conversation with Ron and Kingsley was interesting, particularly because Ron had not made up his decision on what he was doing until he was in the moment. Which is a believable thing. He hates to be a disappointment and you show that well there. I'm curious what types of things Kingsley will call upon him to do in future. 

 

Another great chapter!  

 

<3 Courtney

 

~* 77 rising through the ranks *~

Name: Felpata_Lupin (Signed) · Date: 13 Feb 2022 08:05 PM · For: Terms and Conditions

Hi again, Alicia! One more review, this time for our swap! :)

I think you wrote the first scene really, really well! There was the right amount of tension and exposure, the dialogue felt natural, the scene felt well constructed, with motion and focus on the right details, like George's aspect and the unkept house and the bottle of firewhiskey. George's reaction when Ron mentioned Fred was so powerful and so believable, and I liked Ron's response there, how they had all lost Fred, how George wasn't alone in his grief. It isn't something George was ready to listen, but he heard it and maybe the message will pass later... I really liked Ron's resilience through the whole confrontation, too!

I'm very proud of Ron for his decision to take time off his Auror job to focus on helping George out of his apathy. Maybe Kingsley won't be happy about it, and Harry seems a bit displeased too, but I'm sure he will understand. Family comes first always!

I loved how you closed the chapter, with Ron suddenly falling asleep and starting snoring loudly! That feels so very Ron-like and it made me chuckle! :P

Lovely work on this! :) Thank you for the swap!

Chiara

Name: prideofprewett (Signed) · Date: 03 Feb 2022 01:11 AM · For: Terms and Conditions

Hey there! Stopping by for our review swap! I'm assuming this is the George fic you referenced, and me, loving my Weasleys, had to check it out. :)

 

So I like the introduction here where we see George not as successful as he once was. I think the detail of "the shelves weren't as stocked," is a significant one. It shows that some inventory remains. It shows that is he functioning and going through the motions of running his shop, but he's lost that joie de vivre and that drive that existed whenever Fred was alive. 

 

We see Ron's true heart in this moment. His persistence and loyalty and what makes him so wonderful as a character. He refuses to budge, because enough has been enough, and we feel that as reader here in this moment. I like that he immediately did not get through to George. It shows the depths of George's grief and his inability to move forward in his life. Grief can make us stuck in one place or mindset and I really felt that here. 

 

George's visceral reaction to hearing Fred's name in this context was startling. But again. I feel like the reader relates to Ron in this situation, in not fully understanding the depths of his grief. And so it makes for a nice transition whenever its Ron who departs and Ron's internal thoughts that we see following the entire exchange. 

 

I think the shorter sentences are snappy and definitely grabbed me and incited emotions in me. They worked quite well in this introductory chapter.

 

The Weasleys + Harry are definitely rearing to rally for George at the end of this. I cannot wait to see where you take this story next. :)

 

<3 Courtney 

Author's Response:

Courtney!

Yes it is. ^_^

That's pretty much how I wanted to portray this. Last June, I lost my Dad to cancer and I guess this is just a way of letting my grief out? Maybe not in the way (crying) that I would like, but it helps.

I had thought about letting Ron get through to him right away, but I didn't think that was natural. I felt there had to be more of a struggle, more of a fight.

I felt like that was a part that he started to wake up, per se, but not really because he drank so much that it was in his system and taken over with his grief.

Granted its been 10+ years since I've actually written full on chapters, so that's good to hear. I don't know how my muse/motivation came about to just start writing fics again; despite I didn't really have anything completed before except for one-shots, but it did.

Thank you! I'm in between two stories atm, so I haven't started the 2nd chapter yet, but soon!

I will also get to your swap before the weekend! ??

Alicia~

Name: ShazaLupin (Signed) · Date: 31 Jan 2022 11:46 PM · For: Terms and Conditions

Hey there!

 

I was just scrolling through looking for something to read and stumbled upon this! 

 

Fics with George after the war always make me feel so sad, he's basically lost his other half and he's got to try and find a way to move on. I can't even, and I'm not sure I'd want to, know what that's like. 

 

I love that's it's Ron who trying to help him though, I feel like he can get a bit of a bad rep in fics and so this was a nice change of pace! I think he's going to need more than his own self though, so it's good that he felt like he could go to Harry and GInny's, and then Neville and Hannah are just down the road from the shop as well. 

 

I love how you set this fic up, and I'm excited to see what happened next, and how the story progresses. 

 

A great first chapter! 

 

Shaza :) 

Author's Response:

Shaza!

Aww thanks for stopping!

Right?? That's exactly how I felt for George too.

Yes! I feel like Ron is sort of the black sheep in the family? All his other siblings, including Ginny, have a place, but where does Ron fit in? Oh yes, he'll definitely need more help than himself. Maybe not at first we'll see them, but they're definitely play a part.

I haven't started the 2nd chapter yet, but soon!

Thank you!!