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Yeahhhhhhh they were not very subtle with the ferris wheel thing. XD Kinda surprised Murphy sat there, except maybe at that point he didn't want to make a big deal in front of people and hold up the line.
The way it's very clear that both of them are hurt here, but all each one can see is their own hurt. In the blame game they're playing they kind of miss the critical point that the other one didn't want it to be over either. Being right or feeling vindicated sort of becomes more important than collaboratively figuring out 'Why did this happen?'
I kinds wonder if Murphy expected Emma to put up more of a fight, because he didn't really seem to know how to respond when she expressed, essentially, that she had closure and no more need for him -- which she didn't say in a mean-spirited way, just sort of a matter-of-fact, resigned way. It's hard to want to fight with someone who's giving in.
Emma probably didn't do herself any favors with Miller back in March. She's upset but that was kind of a cheap shot at him. And his reaction definitely made sense -- like why (and how??) would he have told Emma randomly by text that Murphy was seeing someone else? Seems like the kind of thing that would needlessly hurt Emma's feelings. But there's sort of no winning in this scenario. She wouldn't have liked hearing it, but definitely didn't like being the last to know, either.
Thank you so much for the swap, always happy to swap again!!
<3
Hi Jillllll here for our swap! <3
You really capture the electronic gossip mill with your chatfic chapters, the way multiple people have multiple conversations going at once, and very often all about the same thing. XD It's kind of crazy how much information is exchanged within the span of just a few hours, and that's why these chapters are really effective at introducing some backstory and new dynamics and sources of tension in a short space. Also it's just very realistic, so much of what we do these days is by text, and obviously thst's how this group would be coordinating this, so it was a good choice to devote whole chapters to the texting and move us along and give us little behind-the-scenes glimpses at what other people might know outside of Emma.
Emma and Raven, oh no. Clarke and Perri seemed to have just thought that Jasper was going to be the issue buuuuuut...
Raven's words were harsh and I'm wondering how unreliable Emma is being here. We know she's prone to running away, and it's sounding like that's what she did after... whatever that was. So Raven is clearly not going to be a lot of help in this operation.
<3 Melanie
Hi Jill! Here for your review request!
I loved the first section with Raven, Emma, and Perri being named the Power Puff Girls. And you so aptly pegged them as totally appropriate ones. I couldn't stop thinking about that stroke of brilliance hah. I am glad that they're back together as friends though. From this section alone you definitely get that feeling of "normalcy restored," between them, which I really liked.
And ahh "operation: forced proximity" has regained its true focus yet again! Well sort of haha. Jasper and Perri taking matters into their own hands and going against "Mom and Dad," excellent!
LOL Emma texting Murphy from across the liquor store LOL. I do love that we see them beginning to sort of become a bit more vulnerable with one another over the course of this chat. There's a "I'm texting you with a purpose that is clearly platonic and nothing else," at the start, but by the end of this chapter they're teasing one another again and joining forces for evil (slightly by the implication of abusing Perri's credit card LOL), which shows they're sort of back on track to at least being civil to one another.
I really do think that this serves as a great transitionary chapter and sets up the second act of this story really well! Emma is almost back on track to being friends with everyone again. JM is softening up towards her a bit and...I'm really excited and silently praying for that HEA haha. ;)
Anyway, this was a great read, thanks for requesting a review! Hopefully this was what you were looking for :)
<3 Courtney
Hi Jill,
I must say that I'm a bit rusty here but i'm so glad to get to come back to this fic. i listened to cruel summer recently for the first time in ages and i was completely struck by how perfect this story is and how much it's just an memma song. you've married together the prompt/characters so well and i feel like i didn't truly appreciate that before.
I love Perri's character so much. she is the sense that emma needs. Perri is so blunt and i just love that?? she is free talker and just witty with it too. she's fantastic. I love her space without the group. it's so cool that two of the strongest characters in the story are from your own mind. 'broody brunettes boys'. I also really like the dialogue for this first section, it's very fun and light hearted in the beginning. you are able to keep a nice balance between angst and humour which i also love.
shock confessions! I love the tropes, give me problems not peace. ahh! damn, raven is really mad with emma. i know emma from many previous stories that this is probably somewhat her fault but she doesn't really mean for these things to happen. she's just messy (personally one of the many reasons i love her!). i'm glad that emma is going to find murphy like i doubt she knows what she's going to say but he's always been the one.
wow, so the whole raven/emma scene was really well done but so obvious that emma was really struggling in these scenes with raven. i thought you played out and shown the mixture of emotions that emma was going through really well. it was quite emotional knowing that this was probably going to another big mistake but she really needed it. i'm less sure about raven's motivations like was she also sad about her own break up or also in love with emma?? that'll be another layer but i think she seems pretty into perri at this point. man, it's messy but i'm here for it.
i can't wait to find out what happens next!
Abbi xx
JILL <3 first off huge congrats on finishing this fic - it's so exciting and so strangely sad when you finish something but it's a really cool achievement and you should be proud :)
secondly, WHUT. WHUT. what is going on???? soooooooo emma thinks murphy cheated on her - which is v much what it looked like - but perri says he didn't (and we can trust perri. i think. on this at least. possibly not with other things :P). so what exactly happened???? oooo this is confusing - in the best way!! and i'm so so curious as to what went down in that instance on murphy's side - yk, what he would say/think happened. and, perhaps, if he would even think that was the major reason they broke up at all.
i gotta say, i really love how in this - and especially in this chapter - neither emma or murphy are necessarily right or ""good"" uncomplicated people. they're both fully-fleshed out, complicated characters, with their flaws and issues - and friends who are fully aware of both!! and i think having their friends povs in this chatfic format really helps it, yk, because it gives us that glimpse into things outside of their heads - what other people really see in them and think about them and the blunt, hurt things people say, like raven telling emma that murphy dodged a bullet when they broke up. that's cold, but there's this real sense that there's something underlying that - that raven isn't just saying it because. and i lovelovelove that depth. it's so so good :)
also i love how perri and bellamy are the ones doing so much of the plotting haha - like, bellamy's just come in and is like "ooooohhhhh this is what you've been doing gimme some of that" and is immediately jumping headfirst into whatever possibly-mad plan perri's constructing :P (i haven't seen the tv show but i'm guessing perri is a master of slightly mad plans which may or may not work :P)
i'm so so excited to see where this goes next - and whether or not this plan perri and bellamy are hatching actually works or not :P
laura xx
asfdshfdghkafkajhfsa these two are such idiots and i just don't understand them and just jfc just be happy guyyyyys okay???????? why is that so hard :sob: :sob:
i mean on the one hand emma hooking up with raven was kinda shitty in the sense that even without all the rest of the drama i've got the feeling that they're better off as friends?? idk i might be totally wrong but eh on the other hand i don't blame her at all and like,,,,after a breakup and then seeing emori i mean jfc emma just needed someone who wanted her and hooking up with raven was a way to make herself feel better which brigns me back to the kinda shitty part i mentioned because i think it was more about her than it was about raven if that makes sense and idk idk i mean i've done that and far worse so i'd never judge her but i just want her friendships to survive and for all of them to be happy and happy and happyyyy so that's just a big clusterfuck that hopefully gets resolved but also murphy is just ,,,, dude needs to learn to not be super fucking mysterious all the time but also emma could've asked him about emori????? WHY ARE THEY IDIOTS BETTER YET WHY DO I LOVE THESE IDIOTS
anyhow anyhow
i am still very much :EYES: at wtf happened between emma and murphy back then because they still broke up over reasons i have a feeling are THEM BEING STUPID AND NOT KNOWING HOW TO COMMUNICATE but i will refrain from a final verdict until i actually read it but like,,,idk how they come back from like ,,,all of this but i hope they do
seeing clarke and emma be friendly warmed my lil heart in the midst of all the drama tbh, i don't think there were any them moments before and it's something that has the potential for being a weird dynamic bc emma was with bellamy but they're friends and it's not weird it was just rly nice
i shall be back for more soon bc i am gremlin
kris
jill!! i'm back for our review swap!! :)
omg omg omg omg omg MURPHY damn :o i wasn't expecting that tbh?? like, i dunno what i thought had happened for them to break up - i guess maybe i'd just thought it was like,, contrasting personalities or something and they'd argued one too many times - but ooofff poor emma :/ (sidenote: i kinda like how reasonable emori is - like, if she's no one to murphy and she's a friend of nate's then if they were ~busy, why couldn't she come back later, yk?? it's not totally unreasonable - but ahhhhh in the context it's just so horribly awkward and obvious)
i love the way that they all organically end up hanging out and how it's actually a lot more fine than emma expects it to be - because, yk, when you were friends with someone before and there's no bad blood between you and them, there's no real reason why you couldn't still be friends. and i'm really glad for emma that at least some of the things that got messed up when she and murphy split up are sort of starting to fix themselves :)
ahhh miller with the advice :P i love that he doesn't let her get away with not apologising to him - especially when she wants to and knows she should - because yea just sort of... ghosting your friend is kinda harsh, even if you are upset at his friend :/
i really, really wanna know who she runs into first - aka who is the first person who finds out her side of the breakup story!!
laura xx
Hi Jill, here for your review request!
I think the reconciliation scene between Emma and Raven was really well done. And you also show that relationships are complicated and we don't always have the full details of everything in the heat of the moment. It's good that Emma finally gets the full picture of what was happening between Perri and Raven at the time, and they're able to set it aside and be good friends again.
Ahh I loved the little nod to the friend's movie night that you explore in your fluff series! It was so great having that knowledge and it made the whole "Perri's not picking the movie," line funnier. And then the book! JM still has it! Ahh...I love how you've woven all these details from the fluff series into this story. Makes my heart happy <3
The moment with Perri and Emma felt like adequate closure for them. I thought the general progression from tense to awkward to solemn to conversational to teasing was a seamless transition between emotions with them. I liked how it wasn't entirely about Murphy and what went wrong there because the focus was their friendship and mending that in this moment. But I liked how there were still these sprinkles of "Murphy still loves you," and "you both are idiots in love," lines throughout their conversation. Those fit in perfectly with everything else. I think you did a great job of making this conversation function as it needed to, but also feel totally effortless.
LOL that ending with Jasper and the bit about Gina the bartender had me laughing. I love that Jasper is trying to get free drinks for himself, but fails and ends up benefiting Emma more than himself. That whole set up was thoroughly amusing.
And ahh...the necklace is back. I do love that it could mean Jamie as well as John or Jasper LOL. But like, it's sweet he gets the chain fixed for her because he knows how much it means to her. (I think Murphy was his "guy," but I also suck at figuring things like this out, so I'll just wait for you to tell me who "the guy," was LOL.)
I think you definitely show that the friend group is mended here. There's growth or at least acknowledgement of growth between Raven, Perri, and Emma, which I think will naturally drive the rest of your plot forward. I definitely see this as a turning point in the story and I think you managed it really well!
Well done with this chapter!
<3 Courtney
ahhhh it feels like so many things came to a clash in this chapter but it's only like two things lolol but tbh i had to find out what happened next so i ended up reading the two following chapters before going back for this one oops BUT ANYHOW
okayy so i correctly guessed that raven and emma hooked up but apparently raven is just pissed off about emma basically not knowing wtf everyone else around her is feeling and getting so much in her head that her friends basically end up being secondary to whatever she *thinks* is happening and instead of, yk, talking to them, she just goes moody and thinks more and more those awful things that she does because it's something she's used to..i think?? because of her dad?? so it's a lot of fucked up things happening all at once and i honestly don't blame emma for kinda just shutting off from normal human behavour and going into herself and trying to make sense of things when all your life it's been the way that's not happy and that's not normal and...anyhow. i get her, i really do.
but.
but.
like with miller in one of the flashbacks when she accused him (and her other friends) about not caring about her, just her brother, and how he just shot her down and now when raven again mentions it i can also understand the other side -- friends can take a lot but it's not a one-way street (or what's that expression?? idk), and even your friends can just be in a state where they're struggling and you're not noticing because you're struggling as well and it's just a bad situation all round, which obviously sucks, but i feel like it's good that they managed to verbalise it even if it's in an angry, drunken way lol
also loved that little tidbit when raven says about perri how she wouldn't go telling people's secrets because it reminded me of how perri didn't want to say anything about john and emori because it wasn't her thing to say even when it's frustrating for others, a+++
kris
jfc why can't perri just say wtf happened with murphy and emori instead of just forcing everyone to trust that it wasn't what it looked like <.<.<..<.<.<.. i mean i guess she's protecting murphy's privacy or whatever but like if she's so hell bent on getting emma and murphy together, this is probably not the ideal way to do it, just claiming x didn't happen....but then what did <.<
and then there's raven and emma who hooked up (i think?) and it either meant more to raven than emma and that's why she's mad or she thinks emma used her or...? idk idk it's all too complicated and this friend group has too many romantic relationships between each other which makes me laugh every time i think about it because it makes for some funny dynamics and comments
i'm honestly not sure a party is a great idea, especially after emma's and bellamy's conversation which confirmed what i felt in the previous chapter about her just wanting a break from all the shit that happened ,,,hopefully it's not another plan that massively backfries though i wouldn't be surprised if it does bc it's murphy and emma and nothing's easy between them EXCEPT THE FLUFF YK #rude
goddd why are they all so stubborn <.<
make it better jill
stop the hurt
even though i love the angst
so that just means more fluff and more angst for me pls
kris
hey friend, i'm here for our super-delayed swap, i'm so sorry about that!
okay i just really loved the scene set up at the start - it felt appropriately beachy and summery and at total odds with the rest of the chapter which gave me a lil whiplash but like in the best possible way lololo
it was just nice seeing emma wanting to just yk..enjoy herself. ride the ferris wheel, take a picture for instagram, enjoy her vacation and so when her friends forced her into the ferris wheel car with murphy i could really understand where her anger and frustration was coming from. like...no, you can't fix everything by forcing two people to get stuck together, no matter how much they might still love each other, and at some point i feel like people should be able to respect that, yk? like there's so much angst in emma's life so for her to be able to kinda let go of some of the bad things at least in this moment and enjoy herself at the carnival...it's kinda hurtful that everyone is into this "forcing them to work it out" idea when they don't see how much that can hurt both emma and murphy,,,
like obviously i want them to get back together and want them to work stuff out and find out wtf even happened but i also want them to be able to come to that place on their terms, yk? idk if that makes sense but i started feeling annoyed with their friend group hahah and idk if you meant for that but it happened and it just shows how you're able to paint this super layered picture of the dynamics between everyone in the friend group and their relationships :D
the flashback where emma is just throwing hurtful things at miller and getting herself worked up over slights she thinks are there but aren't really, ignoring the facts that in a less emotional and less angry and less hurt moment she'd know are there, she'd know the things she's saying aren't true -- it was super well done. because emma is hurt and angry and she's not saying these things to murphy and miller is there so he'd ended up as the target for all her hurt, it's super realistic and i loved it despite how much it hurts to read.
jfc i just wanna know 1) what happened exactly because obviously i'm too curious for my own good and 2) how tf do you fix this llololo
kris
jilllllll <3 i'm here again!!
i really like how you're mixing this up - with the prose chapters and then the chatfic chapters. it's not something i would have thought to do - different mediums and all that - but i guess like anything mixed media/styles, it's a question of making it work and mean something and you do this sooooo well.
i lovelovelove the revelation that it was a set-up - that perri and clarke are meddling in murphy and emma's (ex)relationship and that for all their planning it doesn't go how they intended or wanted it to - what with emma running off and going home with the hot bartender :P there's something funny about them trying and sort of succeeding - but not quite :P
i love as well the glimpse this gives us into their friendships - not just with emma and murphy themselves, but also between them as a group(s). it's something you don't get to see without a pov character otherwise and it's cool to see them interact: the way jasper's defending emma over messages, the way perri and clarke are conspiring together (and still friends, even with the split in their friendship group), the way clarke and perri openly admit their friends flaws (that neither of them will make the move despite wanting to and being insufferable about not making the move/the other not making the move :P). it adds so many layerssss to this and i love how you use it to give us information we wouldn't have otherwise too :)
ahhh perri and clarke are good friends to emma and murphy :P even with their meddling!!
i love as well how you set this up with the mention that they don't yet know they're across from each other haha - it's a little thing to slip in but it's such a cliffhanger (even though it's in the summary, it still works!!) and i'm so so curious to see how and when they work it out - and what happens then!!
laura xx
kjdsfh;asjdh omgggggg nooooo she caught him with the rebound hookup.
Unless you're faking us out and Emori is not that, buuuuut that's definitely what it's looking like.
Oh! So I did have a chance to finally read nights like these as well, to get alllllll the background context for this and I do like how it's easy enough to read this fic without having had to read that one, but reading that one definitely gives me a greater appreciation for the interpersonal relationships and dynamics and demons and everything.
Emma and John... what happened with them?? I need to know. You're doing very well at just teasing us with the drama of the fallout but we don't know why and how it went sour!! Especially after their connection in nights like these and then all of the passion and just genuine, uninhibited good feels during the time in sparks fly.
Also... "friends with my roommate" -- *facepalm* JOHN NO
Damn, ok. I'm well and truly invested in getting to the bottom of this and seeing how this, uh, very frigid August is going to turn out.
Thanks for swapping!! <3 Melanie
Back for some TAG and of course, this lovely, chaotic friend group! (:
I liked this full picture of reconciliation that you painted with all of the friends here. We sort of got snippets of in the previous chapter, but now we sort of see everyone's reaction to the big reveal of Raven and Emma. The way you capture emotions in this chat format is excellent! Not everyone is all happy and campy and that is totally to be expected.
I like that the operation forced proximity group is a little more tentative now. But in the end it seems like Perri and Raven have worked things out (thanks to JM's scheming), so it feels like maybe they'll be back in full swing to try and help things along with Emma and JM soon? I need more Emma/JM! I'm hopeful next chapter will give me some (even if it's angsty LOL).
And the necklace! Ahhh of course JM would be like "that's a different chain" LOL. It's nice that Perri is the one to point this out to him. It means that on some level, she cares about what happens to Emma. Even if there's still a bit of bad blood between them.
Anyway, I love this friend group and I cannot wait for more of this story! :)
<3 Courtney
TAG!
murphy cheated?
but he didnt?
but emma and raven??
and raven is so so mad????
AND WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING JILL
(congrats on finishing cruel summer ; have a nonsensical review bc i love these two idiots)
<3
kris
My heart was glass and you most def dropped it Jill. Ahh the exchange with Murphy and Emma where it's so clear that she had it all wrong w/seeing him w/Emori!!! I love a good bait and switch and you definitely got me on that one! I think I was so fixated on the details as you presented them in that moment, and really playing with Emori's motivations in that flashback moment where Emma goes to see JM that I lost sight of the fact that it could be a plot twisty thing.
And then everyone sort of ignoring Jasper in the chat makes sense. He's being a tad inappropriate after dropping a bombshell on the group and in turn, creating division between them. Loved the references to pop culture that he made though! Hilarious.
And of course, Clarke is a sweetheart. We love her checking up on Emma.
And that flashback and everything with Jasper hits a little differently now. His need to fix everything seems to backfire in the present moment. I still can't figure out if he does all this because he's obsessed with Emma or if he's a big, dumb idiot lol.
Anyway, another great chapter and strong handle on the multiple formats in this story! I can't wait to see what happens next!
<3 Courtney
TAG! (Unless the gods have other plans)
Swap 2/2! :)
Oooh chatfic chapter! I like this being incorporated, I hope there will be more!
And it just started perfectly, because in that first very short exchange we suddenly are seeing the previous chapter in a different light and I did NOT see that coming at all.
LOL at Operation Forced Proximity. And Brohemian Rhapsody.
'Murphy won't make the first move' and 'Emma won't either'... hmmm so I wonder what ever ended up happening in March??? :eyes:
This is particularly trippy reading this after having read some of your fluff fics about them and having seen what they had together -- and even reading those we knew a separation of some sort was coming but not one that would lead us to expect bad blood. (Also I'm definitely going to have to read Nights Like These for more background!)
y'know, going home with the hot bartender after running into your ex feels like an entirely reasonable decision tbh, so get it Emma. XD
Emma and Jasper's relationship is so sweet! So pure. I love them.
<3 Melanie
(I'm actually a dumbass -- my brain got its wires crossed as to the timeline, and after I wrote that first review I realized that in the March scene they've only been split up for 2 weeks, not several months -- BUT that makes it more interesting, because we know that Emma tried doing something in March and... clearly it did not work, because in August here we find ourselves!)
Oof, why am I left with a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach at the way this March scene ended? Emma taking off dramatically with such high hopes -- I'm sure absolutely nothing is going to go wrong at all. XD
Anyway, I'm here very very late for our swap! <3
Going back, I loved how I could totally see the way that scene opened in the beginning, as the ensemble of friends began to reveal themselves in the narrative one by one -- it was a congenial sort of vibe, perfectly capturing friends just hanging out. Except then we have Emma who is obviously still wrecked from a split that we're eager to learn more about because you withhold just enough information. Was it a breakup? Was it mutual? Was it hostile or amicable? Was it unavoidable? We start to get some more clarity -- but still with plenty of questions remaining -- at the end of that August scene where "she was going to be the one who left him" this time. That says so much in so little.
I really like the part where she gets envious of Clarke and Bellamy for a moment, because that's something she doesn't have anymore, but more than that, she thinks about how she always thought she wasn't going to be this girl (didn't we all think that at one point, and then at another point we discovered that we were, in fact, that girl?)
But I'm SO curious after that flashback scene about how this all went down -- who did what to whom, it all sounds so messy. And Emma's been sort of languishing over this for months, and then suddenly it seems like a bright idea to just go to him and work it all out, when that hadn't occurred to her before. It feels like a surprisingly impulsive move even if we don't know her character that well yet.
Reading on to see how this unfolds! :)
<3 Melanie
Hi Jill! Here for our swap!
Ok, so I loved your inclusion of True American LOL. I didn't watch New Girl from start to finish, but I definitely caught that reference, which made its inclusion all the more enjoyable. And yikes, the plan didn't quite go to plan for getting Emma/Murphy back on track with one another at this party. But again, anytime alcohol is involved with a group of personalities such as these ones, I feel like, it quickly becomes "plan, what plan?" which you showed in such a realistic way.
I really enjoyed the continued exploration about Jasper's feelings for Emma and how it's one of those "everyone sees it but her," kind of things. She truly does believe they're platonic. And he's trying to be respectful of that. But everyone else is all *eyeroll come on now kids* about it. So it definitely makes for good tension and the potential for future drama.
The exchange between Raven and Emma was INTENSE! And that bombshell that they slept together while Raven was sort of with Perri and Emma recently broken up with JM...wow! Didn't see that one coming! But I think the blow out makes sense. Everyone's drunk. Adrenaline is running high from the physical component of the game. And we got previous indication that Raven was ghosting Emma. Though I assumed it was for something to do with Raven taking sides with John on their split, not this added complication of "we got drunk and actually slept together." So great job with that plot twist!
Also, I thought the ending with the drunken sex flashback was done well. Stuff happens sometimes and we have regrets. But it was very clear that both characters wanted one another in the moment. But I know some people have bad experiences with alcohol and sex mixing (I'm one of them), so I get the need to put that disclosure out there. I was a lttle bit nervous going into this portrayal, but it felt pretty consensual to me, in spite of the influence of alcohol. I just wanted to let you know that I think you did a very good job handling that type of subject material. :)
I mean, is it wrong that I felt it was kind of hot in a drunken, hurt/comfort kind of way? :sweat_smile: I really liked the detail at the end with Emma's necklace though and how it gets tangled while they're doing this lazy disrobing thing. I hope I didn't miss its inclusion in the present timeline, but it felt like a very significant sort of inclusion in that moment. So like if my big, dumb brain did not miss its presence already, I look forward to seeing how you include it in future storyline of this.
And Emma going to JM to explain!! Ahhh...will I be getting an Emma/JM scene soon?! :eyes:
Another great chapter (as always), Jill! I always love these characters as you write them!
<3 Courtney
Jill! How did I miss this chapter?! Ok, ok, ok, first of all, I love how you're alternating between using the chatfic and ficfic. It gives us sort of Emma's POV and then the "behind the scenes look," of what everyone else is thinking/feeling and I love that!
BUT EMORI AND MURPHY DIDNT DO THE DIRTY? AHHH WHAAAT? What is the truth, Jill? I must know!
Jasper being there and wanting to protect Emma. <3 him for it.
LOL at Perri's "if you smell like a chimney..." comment. I absolutely love Perri's relationship with Murphy. They are totally giving me sibling teasing vibes and I LOVE THAT.
And Bellamy giving Jasper actual advice like a dad. I mean that was both heartfelt and amusing. You played that piece of this very well! And eep so Jasper is in love with Emma, but he's too respectful of her to actually do anything about it...awwwww maaannnn...I love HIM too know.
Bellamy and Clarke as the head and the heart hah. That is perfect and also telling about their relationship though.
Wow Jill, you definitely did A LOT with this chatfic. In a very good way! Like it feels very deep from all the group and usernames you've selected to the emotions that are felt through texts and without any indicate of what the characters are looking like...I felt all their feels. This was such a great chapter and now I cannot wait to see what happens at this party and if Emma stops lying to herself about loving JM ;)
Great job!
<3 Courtney
Also...tag! :)
Hey Jill,
here for our swap :)
omg, so much stuff going on in this chapter so many revelations. where do I even start?! One thing about this chapter that I really liked was the mixture of characters that you used in this chapter. we had a few characters which wasn't interacted much together before in private conversation which I really loved that for building up the dynamics of your cast which is something that I find you do so well anyway. bellamy/jasper & perri/clarke.
MURPHY DIDN'T SLEEP WITH EMORI - what?! is that true? why does murphy act like this then, it's kinda his thing though. he's never going to true admit that he's sorry about anything or like that 'i shouldn't have to explain myself' but this revelation does give hope to the Memma, a hope that i desperately needed by the state of everything going on in this story. i need more memma content in my life. murphy totally is enrages me sometimes but i love him so much anyway!
JASPER IN LOVE WITH EMMA. NOOOO. I'm so sad for jasper tbh because they have such a nice friendship. i think emma wishes she could be with someone like jasper as well. i feel very bad for him because how much he knows that she loves murphy too. i wanna give him a hug so badly. bless him. jasper: But not all of us are in love with Emma Rhodes. mwahaha. jasper is such a good character in his own right though. i hope this doesn't end too messy though a bit messy can be fun. I liked the bellamy/jasper bonding moment over this section too.
Emma still in love with murphy, *hearteyes* while not a big suprise like everyone know it. emma admiting herself is when the revelation really lies. I'm very surprised that she was willing to open that point about how she felt. the awkward 'i do know that feel' moment was quite powerful thing really. this friendship is sooooo messy. I'm amazed that they're still friends at this rate. lmao. i would say this is unrealistic but i've been a teenager so i know it's not haha
bellamy+clarke = the head and the heart, aww! xD
i loved this chapter again! so juicy, can't wait for more developments to come! - Abbi x
Hahahah, "Emma and Murphy aren't idiots - You'd be surprised." / yes exactly, from what i remember of them they are very much idiots lol, but loveable idiots of course.
"stay away from emma" "not a problem" / I don't know why this hurt me, but it did.
brohemian rhapsody LOL I love that!
Haha, I love that this is a setup by their friends who can see that they're unhappy without each other, though I'm confused by one thing, I may have to go back to reread. So is emma and jesper actually together or just very close friends, kinda couple/like but not really? That's the impression I had, but then the boyfriend thing confused me, but maybe that's just like this joke in between them? :D
Hah, Perri's reaction to Emma's text is gold. It's fun to have chatfic elements in between the story, I always love a good background info and the buzz it creates, knowing what all the friends are texting about and how they have these different reactions to what is happening.
I get this tingling sensation that some good fun and drama is coming our way!
Eli
Hi Jill!!
First of all please forgive me for this ridiculously late swap. I still haven't found a way to manage my workload whenever it sneaks up on me, but here I am now! I see you've done a bit of a rewrite so I'm excited for this new version of the story, I remember it had this really nostalgic and bittersweet feel to it, and that manifests very well once more in this first chapter. I am also so super intrigued by the flashback and that it turned out to be a bit of a hangover, and we got an open ending, even though we know they didn't get back together, but Emma was going for it, so yeah, it's pretty interesting and will be cool to find out!
I've always loved how you wrote the friend group dynamic. In a few words you manage to give just enough exposition and background to the different relationships and all these characters pop out of the screen during their brief appearances. And you're also good at, like, spatially describing what people do if that makes sense? I always struggle with that, but you can always paint the scene so nicely for me it feels like I'm at this beach bar as well and I love being at beach bars so it's really fantastic :D
That meeting on the balcony, that is just such a scene I live for, this deep and dramatic little turn of events, and even if it was brief, it just carried a lot of history and pain and emotion in the way they were, at first, just naturally drawn to each other and then they were both like UM.... processing. I wonder how this keeps going in the slightly new direction you seem to be taking it :) Thanks for the swap and also for your patience, x
Eli
Jill! The opening with the fairgrounds is absolutely fabulous! You set up this scene in a truly immersive way that feels fun and full of excitement. And then that sort of fizzles out as we slowly learn about all of the drama within the friend group. We see who is ghosting who, who is taking sides, and how things need to be mended if they all want to stay together as this once tightly knit cohort.
I really like how you gave Emma/John this forced proximity moment to work through some of their past together. They don't fully get closure, but they do address some things.
And the end with Miller running into Emma after that jarring discovery she made...it really contrasts from the opening scene where they're taking selfies and being jovial together at the fairgrounds. But I think if you're showing how they've mended fences and the forward progress they made to get to the moment in the flashback to the opening moment, you do such a great job!
I really like how you write this friend group. It's always enjoyable to read!
<3 Courtney
~* 129 rising through the ranks *~
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