Name: prideofprewett (Signed) · Date: 24 Oct 2022 11:07 PM · For: Hero of Troy

Hi Chelts! Here to woo the Dr Jekyl/Mr Hyde for our Halloween Review Event, but also I loved your story on Icarus, so I really wanted to leave a review on this one feat. Achilles! Ahh this gives me so many “Song of Achilles,” vibes! 

The line “the memory of men’s blood,” was so poetic and haunting at the same time! He’s still wearing a remnant of the act of killing them, but it already happened so it’s becoming a memory. Honestly, such a genius line!

I sort of love the dynamic between Hades and Persephone you strike here. Persephone takes her role as co-ruler of the gates with a stoicism that likely comes from her being a captive herself in this instance. I got the “scales of justice,” vibes from her, particularly when she’s asking Achilles if he fought honorable. Which like, if you take the reading that Patrocles and Achilles were lovers, it could be argued that avenging the death of one you love is an honorable thing. But in knowing how Patrocles was, he would not find it honorable. 

Gosh it just hits me really hard in the feels how much Achilles longs to see Patrocles. But if he sees him, both Hades and Persephone are right, it will only cause him pain to know that Achilles has passed on and won’t be reunited with him forever. 

I feel like Achilles faces this trial, like he does all others: resigned that this is fate and the will of the gods. But there is a level of peace he finds too in knowing that Patrocles is happy. 

For a piece that is only 500 or so words, you really made me feel all kinds of emotions!

Brava, my friend!

<3 Courtney

Name: PinsandKneazles (Signed) · Date: 21 Mar 2022 04:04 PM · For: Hero of Troy

Hi, I'm here with a galazy review for you :)

 

So Achilles is about to enter the underworld and he'd be getting to the gates a lot quicker if not for the wound in his heel - a wound which is persisting into death. As an aside, can it be an 'underworld' if the steps go upwards? But that's just a personal musing. Achilles seems confident that Patrocles will accept him wound and all, but his ego takes a bit of a battering when Hades asks who he is (and I can almost hear Achilles thinking "wut?? How come this person doesn't know who I am??). 

 

Still, his ego persists, until he has to admit that he hadn't always fought with honour. And he's suddenly aware of where he's heading and desperate to see Patrocles for one last time. It must be one of his bravest moments to accept the word of Hades and let Patrocles go, and step forward into the grey nothingness of the underworld. I suppose knowing that Patrocles is blissfully happy and unaware of anything else eases Achilles' mind.

 

Great job with this story; I loved reading it.

 

Meera <3

Name: RonsGirlFriday (Signed) · Date: 04 Mar 2022 06:32 AM · For: Hero of Troy

Ohhhhh I love the selflessness Achilles is able to show here in the end as he goes on to accept his eternity. Like when this part happened:

 

Achilles sank to his knees, hands tearing his helm off to pull at the roots of his head in an attempt to replace the image of Hector with blood in his hair with one of Patroclus with the sun in his fingertips. “Please, just let me see him one more time...”

 

It makes you think at first that he wants to see Patroclus for his (Achilles') own sake. Because he knows where he's headed, and he wants this one last happy memory to take with him and see if he can hold onto it. Because he's trying to replace the images from war with a beautiful image of Patroclus.

 

And maybe even, at that moment, maybe he is thinking about himself. Maybe not, we don't totally know. But as soon as he's told that Patroclus is happy, and will stay that way if Achilles leaves him be, he changes his tune. So even if he was thinking of his own desires, in the end he knows what he must do for Patroclus, this last good, selfless thing he can do. Even though it won't change anything about his judgment!

 

This is beautiful and so amazingly complete for how succinct it is.

 

Melanie <3

 

(galazy event)

Name: grumpy cat (Signed) · Date: 25 Feb 2022 11:00 AM · For: Hero of Troy

i really liked how even in death achilles considered himself this strong hero, able to withstand everything, even when he's limping, his mortal wound still bothering him despite him passing into the underworld - and to me, that first notice of his wound was a sort of foreshadowing if things not quite being like what achilles thought they were going to be.

 

and all that culminated when hades and persephone asked him that fateful question to which they already knew the answer but it seemed like they still wanted achilles to confront his own deeds before he died, something like a reminder of why exactly he wouldn't be able to go on and would need to stay in hell(?). like, he's up there thinking his reputation precedes him and then he's forced to take stock of what he had done…and it's painful and i feel like that pain was a way for him to come to terms with his fate.

 

so when he asked about patroclus and the only important thing for him seemed to be that patroclus was happy and he took his fate without fighting it, knowing what he deserved but still found some comfort in thinking about patroclus and his blissful happiness, it felt just a tiny little bit like redemption…it was small but it was something and i loved that!

 

kris / ss voyager

Name: Oregonian (Signed) · Date: 20 Feb 2022 01:40 AM · For: Hero of Troy

Hi, Chelts,

I'm here to read your story for the Race Across the Galazy review drive. (And because I like your writing.)

 

I wondered, as the story opened, what would happen to Achilles in the afterlife in the space of so few words.  You depict him as so self-confident, proud of himself, sure of his worth.  The statement that he would have bounded up the steps (and there were a lot of steps) three at a time had it not been for the arrow in his heel -- well, that one detail shows what he thinks of himself.

 

Such pride.  He was sure his reputation had preceded him.  He expected to be rewarded.  And then things start to go south very fast.  Sure enough, his reputation had preceded him.  Wwhat a clever twist.

 

Does he spontaneously remember what he did to Hector, or does Persephone somehow call up that memory into his mind?  I don't know.  But when he does remember it in all its horrific detail -- what he did -- well, then he knows it's curtains for him. One terrible deed that loses everything.  He instantly understands.

 

I was interested to note that your description of not-heaven isn't hellfire and brimstone, but rather simply gray nothingness, with nothing to do or say.  And yet Achilles is willing to go there for eternity, just so long as he can be assured that Patroclus is happy now.

 

Revenge is not worth it.  Retribution is not worth it.

 

A touching and thought-provoking story.  Good job.

 

Vicki

Name: blackballet (Signed) · Date: 18 Feb 2022 11:21 PM · For: Hero of Troy

 

 

Back to read more of your work for the galazy review event!

 

I love the first line of this "Achilles limped". It almost makes your ankle ache, lol. I love your description of the Underworld here, the varying stones that make up the staircase are such a beautiful image. 

 

Oh, and Persephone and Hades have control of whether or not he sees Patroclus again. :( I love how you make it clear in the first paragraph that nothing else matters. And he has not made it through to his love, who will think him alive...forever?

 

I love this depiction of death, Hades and Persephone judging you on the spot at the gates. But I hate to see that they are not able to be together in the end. And Persephone would know a little something about being trapped, so at least he can trust her when she reassures Achilles of his happiness.

 

Another sad ending, another heartwrenching tale. How do you write these????

blackballet