Name: Predictable Chaos (Signed) · Date: 08 Feb 2024 01:39 AM · For: Quantum Leap

Noelle,

I just ran across this little jewel and had to let you know how much I adore it. SS/HG with time travel (one of my fav tropes!) First, I love how you solved the problem. I was trying to figure out who the culprit was and was completely flummoxed. Once I realized it was APWBD, I was wondering if it was perhaps an AU, but then it all fit. I like how it fit in Dumbledore’s controlling, manipulative personality but also his love for Ariana. I think it was a great backstory to help build how much her death impacted him and changed him (well, mostly changed.)

Second, I loved the romance interactions between Severus and Hermione. She was such the bumbling Gryffindor and he was the smooth Slytherin, but he liked her just as she was even when her obstinate behavior landed them at the Black’s house. The carriage scene was adorable with her trying to undo her corset and he offering to help and then asking if they could kiss without the life and death part. . . she’s such a furious kitten and he will indulge her no matter her huffiness.

Great little one shot-thoroughly enjoyed it.

Name: Oregonian (Signed) · Date: 23 Jan 2022 05:16 PM · For: Quantum Leap

Hi, Noelle,

 

This is a charming story and definitely deserves another review.  

 

Rather like Severus and Miranda Rose (the OTP that belongs to you alone), Severus and Hermione have been seen, over time, in many different times and places, with many different premises, so much so that I think of them as two actors in a theater troupe so small that it has only one leading man and one leading lady, so the two of them must star together in a wide variety of dramas, night after night.

 

In tonight's production we see them in yet another script.  This time Severus plays a younger-looking, very much alive survivor of the Second Wizarding War, an Unspeakable in the Department of Mysteries, serving as the quiz partner of Hermione, the Ministry functionary, in a pub quiz competition, when suddenly, as in Shakespeare's Hamlet, the two of them are thrust into a new drama in a different time and place, a play within a play. (Just a coincidence that Hermione was studying about Shakespeare just before this all happened?)  To their astonishment they are now famous Victorian detectives who must find a kidnapped woman and prevent the loss of the Philosopher's Stone, all in a few hours.

 

I love how you interweave familiar places and persons throughout this story -- "impossibly young Kreacher," an elegant and well-maintained Number Twelve Grimmauld Place, Phineas Black in the flesh (instead of in a portrait), and an impossibly young, hot-headed Allbus Dumbledore.

 

The pace of this pkay-within-a-play is nonstop ivevly, spiced up with the repartee, infused with romantic insinuations and the sudden scene in the pantry.  Severus is taking full advantage of their supposed status as husband and wife.  (But are they, really, at least at this moment, or not really?)  But still no solution to their mystery.

 

I was surprised by how the scene with sixteen-year-old Albus Dumbledore played out.  I never expected that.  How clever Hermione is with the hairpin, thanks to George and Fred.  (Reminds me of a flash fiction I should post into Shiny Red Ribbon, involving Percy picking a lock.  But I digress.)  Sometimes mechanical skill works when magic fails.

 

The final negotiation when Dumbledore demands the Philosopher's Stone, supremely arrogant in his belief that he will be able to modify it  to become a cure for his sister, is brilliant.  So many good lines, I won't try to quote them all.  But what a picture you draw of Albus with all his fallibility hanging out on full display.  

 

I was struck by the point where Dumbledore says, in two separate lines, "There's no other way," and Flamel responds "We will find a better way."  Many years I saw a dystopian movie in which a young, desperate character tells an old man about the rash actions that he and his comrades are about to take, saying, "We have to do this.  There's no other way!"  And the old man responds, "There is always another way."  Those lines from that movie have always stuck with me, so it was interesting to see them again in this story.

 

You hold Dumbledore up to a very harsh light, which he deserves.  Mme. Flamel opines, in the carriage, that perhaps he will turn out for the best, and Hermione cannot reveal what she knows will happen in the future -- that he will get worse.  The cold, hard truth.

 

I wondered, at the time of their sudden transfer to the nineteenth century, what the reason for that could be, and how they could be suddenly and easily returned to their own time.  The mishap in the Time Room is a simple but reasonable explanation.

 

This was a great story, packed full of great imaginative developments and showing a revealing glimpse into the character of Dumbledore at an age (sixteen years old) when kids simultaneously think they know it all but still do really dumb stuff.

 

Thank you for writing!

 

Vicki

Author's Response:

Hi Vicki!

 

I love this idea of the characters as actors in a theater troupe playing different roles in all our stories about them :D

 

That is such a good question about whether or not Hermione and Severus are actually married in the past or not. TIme Travel stories always make my head spin, lol.

 

I can't tell you how excited I am that Albus's role in this was a surprise. Since I was the one writing the mystery, the answer was obvious to me, so I wasn't sure if it would be at all mysterious to the reader. I'm glad to know the story had some surprises!

 

It was sort of daunting to write a young Dumbledore here. Writing Dumbledore is always daunting. I'm so glad that he was recognizable, and that the foundations of his fatal flaws were clear in this younger incarnation of himself.

 

Thank you so much for this lovely review!!

Name: prideofprewett (Signed) · Date: 25 Dec 2021 06:49 PM · For: Quantum Leap

Noelle! Here for your review request!

 

So going into this, I really didn't know what to expect. This isn't a pairing I would normally read. But I sort of like how you show that Severus is experiencing the effects of time and its sort of de-aging him as a result of his work at the Department of Mysteries. And placing them both into adulthood makes it less squeaky, ya know? (I'm not into the whole teacher/student dynamic, so I appreciated that that wasn't the direction you took them here). 

 

I have ideas about this particular sect of the Department of Mysteries myself, and attempted to start a fic, but alas, it is languishing in my gdocs, so I am really intrigued to see where you go with this and if we see more of how the time department works. 

 

I loved the banter on quiz game night. It felt effortless, light, and humorous. I really found their exchange believable, and I don't know if I would, if anyone else but you were writing this to be honest. :)

 

And then BAM! We're thrust back into time quite unexpectedly! Ahhh...how did this happen? And they're suddenly all dressed in these smart clothes? Oh I am most intrigued by this...

 

Ok, so they are in other people's bodies. Ok, this is quite a wild ride. 

 

Omgawsh, the Fawleys as detectives. Noelle. I need this. Even though it's Hermione and Severus acting as them in this instance. Give me a magical Sherlock Holmes with Fortuna and Achilles Fawley. xD Ok, I'm going to chill and resume reading. But gahh...this is just so cool and I am geeking out about what you're doing with this story so far!

 

Also, I really like the efforts you've gone to to describe the restrictive nature of the clothes and how they impact a woman's inability to move. I recall some of the lady actresses from Downton Abbey commenting on how their movements were informed by the clothes in the early seasons where they wore corsets, and anyway, I think these small details show the timeliness of this piece and the thought you've put in that shows us a stark contrast to what Hermione's modern sensibilities are accustomed to. Wonderful job there!

 

Ooh Phineas Nigellus Black (aka Cedrella's great-grandfather LOL. Sorry I have no chill, but also I just wrote a scene referencing him that may or may not end up in HH, so forgive my sidebar fangirl moment LOL)...I was really intrigued by how you would portray him. I like that he's this slippery thing who is also a bit of a flirt. I definitely get the impression that he is concealing something and hiding behind his flattery. And his contempt for the students is sort of darkly humorous. 

 

EEP URSULA! Ok. I really am sorry for my outbursts about the Black Family. Please forgive. I love how opulent you make her and all the other ladies sound in this with all their jewelry. 

 

AHH A WEASLEY. :hearts in eyes: Gosh, can you tell I am just bewitched by your worldbuilding of this old timey Pureblood society? I keep fangirling unnecessarily xD 

 

I am all for this world you have created. And I really love how you're showing it to us through purposefully snippets from Hermione's POV. All of her observations about the way people are looking and their mannerisms while speaking is so key, and allows us to believe how she's able to  figure everything out. It's great characterization that lends itself to your ability to write a solid mystery. 

 

Also, Abraxan races, like why didn't I think of that? Fabulously high brow and befitting of this society!

 

Wow, this whole mystery element was just so clever! I really didn't know that Dumbledore would be the mastermind. I mean, I think because he's sixteen and even with him being as charismatic and "Dumbledore-ish" as he is, I didn't really see his interest in alchemy in anything other than purely academic. So I think if you were trying to pull of a whole "aha!" thing on us, you most definitely did, and it was very nicely done!

 

I think you also flesh out his reasons for needing the stone in a way that feels realistic and doesn't make a caricature of his younger self. We get this sense that he is power hungry, but his reasons for doing so aren't entirely selfish, but they are misguided. It feels very Dumbledore. So great character portrayal there!

 

I think the falling action was great and really wrapped up the relationship aspect of the story. 

 

I think I wanted a bit more explanation regarding the time travel. I know Severus mentions that what happened to them was likely due to quantum swaps, but I sort of was curious as to why it was Severus and Hermione with the Fawleys? I could have very likely missed that as I did read this in two sittings, so my apologies if that's my fault. 

 

And towards the end I was also very curious as to whether or not this was an intentional experiment? Like it seemed like Ellfire was observing them from the moment in the carriage and I think, thinking that made me wonder, why did they swap bods with the Fawleys? But then you describe it as a mishap, so maybe I'm just thinking too far into things and this was a totally random thing that happened and if that's the case then just ignore all of my questions xD. 

 

I really did like how you made the last time jump feel more subtle than the first. It shows just how into that kiss Hermione was and I thought that was a great writing technique. 

 

This was such an interesting story! I really enjoyed it and think for your first time travel/mystery, it was a nice read and was a great representation of those tropes/genres. :)  

 

<3 Courtney

Author's Response:

Hi Courtney!

 

This is honestly not my favorite pairing to read or write either, but it was a fun challenge as an author to tackle them. I also prefer to age Hermione up or age them both down, more to get around the teacher/student issue than because of the age gap. I don't mind an age gap, but I usually don't care for super uneven power dynamics (unless that's the point of the story)

 

I'm so glad that the banter felt believeable!! Like, I want it to be fun and funny and flirty, but I also want it to sound like the characaters would actually say it. 

 

I'm also really glad to knw that Dumbledore's role in the story was unexpected to the reader :D

 

I do agree that the time travel could have used a little more explanation. I feel like I kind of rushed the ending and the wrap up because I was tired of writing the story. It deserved a little bit more room to breathe.

 

Thank you so much for this lovely review!

 

Hermione being stuck in a corset I feel would be a huge issue for her. I really think she would miss the freedom of movement she has without it.