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It has taken me a long ass time to read this. I remember when you sent me the gun pulling out stuff and it's still freaking hilarious in the full context of this fic haha.
What can I say about everything you packed into this nicely laid out story? The tone is totally noir, from the dialogue to the descriptions that concretely set it in a certain time period. That aspect is totally perfect. I also really liked how you took certain elements from other noir-ish films like the eyes tracking the jawline made me instantly think of Lauren Bacall doing that with Bogie. Even the way you describe them holding one another while kissing and grappling for control, it definitely felt like a staged 1940s thing, which I mean as the highest of compliments because you totally transported me!
I also really liked the smutty elements too. You always have a way of showing us exactly what is happening without being overtly crude and while also stirring up certain feelings to make it haawwt. You do that again masterfully in this piece too!
I love the constant push/pull between them that you accentuate. And it also felt very dramatic and unpredictable too, which made it all the more compelling. I had no idea who was going to "win," in the end because you showed that both of them were on relatively equal footing in how they could manipulate and play one another.
Great job!
<3 Courtney
Also...tag! (Because hours have passed so you are totally fair game :P)
It's really a crime that I haven't checked out the original inspiration behind Breathing Underwater.
Your choice of short, single lined sentences really makes this piece feels jagged and sharp, sort of like one's heart does while breaking. I also feel like it speaks to how some people's minds are whenever they're grieving. You can only process the immediate things around you and you can't take in the picture beyond what is happening in the present.
I also like how Snape's mind vacillates between the present and the past. I think that's another realistic representation of how grief and the trauma associated with seeing your partner killed might manifest. And the trauma shows it all in the little details...the music on the radio that Rose selects, her reaching to fix his cord and him taking it to mean something else...the way you think through these things to create a larger picture is always great.
A sad, but well written piece!
<3 Courtney
~* 149 rising through the ranks *~
This is a really interesting piece. I'm glad that it was short, because the bones of the story stand out better that way, not all cluttered up with details that just obscure the stark story line.
Snape is ordinarily a thorny guy, But he seems toned down somewhat in this story, as if the death of Lily has really shaken some of the snark out of him. The snark is a sort of cover-up, a barrier between him and the rest of the world, a barrier that it probably takes a certain amount of energy to maintain, and right now he doesn't have so much energy.
Interesting glimpse into the funeral of a police officer. "This was always going to result in flag-draped caskets; he'd known, going into it." This line suggests that Snape has been present at other funerals with flag-draped caskets and has not been so affected by them. But this one is different.
I read this tory over several times to get the full affect and to make sure that I understood all the lines. It's a bit of a challenge to tease out all the implications, but I enjoyed the challenge. Thank you for writing.
Vicki (for the Race Across the Galazy review drive)
Melannieeee! I was referred by a dear human (Noelle) to come here and check out this raging fire of a romance! So here. I go.
Ok so no lie, this is intense. "She looks like a snack." Welp, we know Ted's motivations here.
"I want you to be my handler." Welp, we know what Andromeda's looking for with that saucy emphasis.
“I’m currently not wearing any underwear.”
UHM MA'AM.
I mean though, Ted. You fucking locked the door, dude. Like. For all of Andromeda's forwardness, there is a subtleness to this piece that is excellent. You sprinkle all of these little details throughout and show us their history and establish them in this moment so it is so much more than just smuttiness.
"...the arm rests that impede proper chair fucking." When you know, you know. And you always bring to light improbabilities during sex. And it's both funny and also realistic and I appreciate it so much.
Abusive tongues and quick and dirty climaxes are my new favorite phrases. Congratulations on winning best turn of smutty phrase there! ;)
LOL TED YOURE SUCK A FUCKING LIAR. YOU KNOW YOURE HAVING SEX AGAIN! I MEAN HOW CAN YOU NOT DUDE WHEN SOMETHING AS HOT AS THIS EXISTS! Damn, I am very disappointed I only just found out about this and cannot nom it for an award because it truly does deserve all of the awards.
Amazing job creating such a short and saucy piece! I won't be forgetting this one anytime soon!
<3 Courtney
~* 51/? rising through the ranks *~
Author's Response:"When you know, you know" lmao I am losing it.
Ted was done for long before Andromeda even walked into this office tbh. The man is in denial.
Thank you for reading this piece of WHATEVER that I wrote XD I don't know what was going on with me during the gifting event but I was like the Oprah of smut: "YOU get a smutfic and YOU get a smutfic... EVERYBODY GETS A SMUTFICCCCC!!"
<3 Melanie
i love this alternate universe where andromeda is this mafia princess type and ted is a police officer but also some sort of her handler, it's a lovely way of taking what emily had done with the two of them in all the waves resounded and giving them your own twist on the story. and i mean, i know that this is basically just an amazing smutty gift but also i would’ve also loved reading more than just a one-shot with them because even in this relatively short one-shot that's mostly focused on smut you managed to weave in plenty of backstory!
i also really love andromeda and her character and how you wrote her totally ignoring ted's requests which obviously he doesn't really want her to listen to him hahah it's just a wonderful mix of push and pull between the two of them, like there's an amazing amount of chemistry between them, sparks flying and all. legit it's like there are fireworks every time they look at each other.
the smut is also super well written and we love to see it! i love how they tease each other throughout but for some reason it also feels dangerous like….there's something dangerously wicked about andromeda and i love it!
kris / ss voyager
No, not me reading this again and just being all kinds of emotionalllll about it/them :pleading emoji:
Sullen prince & haughty princess, INDEED MADAME.
"...in his service." TO HIS DUCHESS. YESSSS. SIR, I LOVE YOU.
Ok, this was just me incoherently shrieking about these two and how marvelously you wrote this smutty power play between them.
And a little restraint kink, ok yes, I supoort this decision also. Idk if I commented about the brass rungs on the bed, but yes, such a striking visual that just sets this up for such glorious hotness.
And of all the things for metaphorical King Septimus to be covetous of...for it to be her sweaty, writhing body while he does this thinggg...ahhencrodmnecis fbxuc adbeh :skull dead:
Ok sorry I am like this, but I am just am emotion about them. And you wrote them so fabulously well and just thank you for being so great.
<3 Courtney
Tag <3
You packed an astounding amount of character study into this “utterly pointless smut.” Starting with Septimus’s hands. They’re rough and calloused, because he’s had to work for a living, unlike the nobleman Cedrella could have married.
I love how he teases her, and makes her ask for what she wants, and makes her praise him before he’ll give it to her. It’s this dance between them, and also a way for him to be reassured that she is happy. Because sometimes, when she’s frustrated, she says things she doesn’t mean, and he can’t help but think about everything she could’ve had, and that she gave up to be with him. So he wants to know that she’s happy here and with this life.
Tell me what you want these working hands to do to you.
^ Excuse me, ma’am, this is hot as fuck.
In moments like this he looked at her with the arrogance of a powerful man, the insatiable satisfaction of a king who knew his wealth but could never have enough of it; he looked at nothing else in the world so covetously or assuredly as her flushed and glistening form beneath him.
^ These lines here. This so clearly shows us what Cedrella and Septimus’s true wealth is, and how very fortunate they actually are. However many things Cedrella’s sisters might get from their wealth and position, they’ll never have this loving, intimate relationship that Cedrella and Septimus have with each other. And that’s worth giving up a title for.
And I simply adore how he calls her Duchess at the end.
Good sex, bro!
Yours,
Noelle
Continuation of tag, as my last review was only a short one.
Gosh, this is a massive contrast to the first one-shot. And - wow - the way this one refers to someone in the past tense makes me feel quite melancholy. 'She'd have laughed' - I'm guessing she's no longer around to laugh. And this is after some falling out...ohhh. I've just twigged :slow: and it makes sense now. What a great but painful adaptation of Lily Potter/Evans's death :(((
"Tommy Riddle's boys" and Snape the traitor. I wonder if Lily had ever known or guessed? And Snape avenging Lily's murder by unnecessarily wasting lead on Macnair; that would have given it away to Tommy. And it took Lily's death to turn Snape from Tommy ...
The call sign. The call sign. The lack of response. The 'you're free to go'. WEEP. Snape's glove the only one with a smudge. All the little details that make this so poignant and heartbreaking :((
Off to cuddle a puppy now :(
Meera <3
Tag!
Is there such a thing as 'utterly pointless smut'? :doesnotcompute: :eyes:
I love the description of Septimus Weasley's hands from 'years at sea' and 'years at the paper'; it's such a clever way to link the roughness and ink-stains, and the contrast between his hands and her skin, and just how much he's teasing her right now :oof: Gosh, he sounds a leetle bit moody if he can hold a grudge for several days, though I expect the make-up sex afterwards will probably be furnace-hot...
Siblings can be the utter worst. I expect Charis and Callidora are lording it over Cedrella and boasting about their affluence because Cedrella, out of the three of them, is the only one with something that money simply cannot buy; genuine love. I guess it's only natural that those comments would get under Cedrella's skin, and we often take things out on those who are near and dear to us, right?
And eventually - oh my - Septimus gets his way, and with all the passion of two people who really know how each other likes to be satisfied in bed...
Duchess - not only the highest rank of peerage, but also an informal term of affection. It's a perfect term of endearment from Septimus to Cedrella <3
Not pointless and totally hawt!
Meera <3
I fogot to mention this in my review, but I would be completely remiss if I did not come back to squeel about that *wink*.
Like, damn girl, it was perfect.
I am deceased from that wink.
Hi Melanie! I’m here for prize review 2/7 :D
Oh man, I love Narcissa and Gideon’s dynamic in this fic. Like they’re both at war with each other, and at any moment one or the other of them will have the upper hand, but in the end I guess they both kind of win, at least for the moment.
Gideon is so cool and arrogant, and he’s just half a step ahead of Narcissa the whole time. I loved the bit with his hat btw.
But Narcissa is super resourceful, and I feel that if it were anyone but Gideon, they’d be dead by now. I loved the way they were kissing and manhandling each other AND fighting for the gun at the same time. The moment where he opens it up and lets the bullets fall all over the carpet was maybe my favorite part.
And then you had me for a minute—I totally thought Narcissa was giving in when Gideon got her on the bed. But she wasn’t, not by a long shot. She knew he’d have another gun under his pillow, and he did, and she’d have been able to win—except this is Gideon and the gun isn’t loaded. I loved it when he told her to pull the trigger.
The way they finally gave in and took their pleasure from each other was awesome. And that Narcissa is still trying to win, but so is Gideon, who only dozes off for a second, and is then back on Narcissa, both for pleasure, and to keep her from getting that envelope.
I wonder which one of them will win in the end.
Yours,
Noelle
Hi Melanie! I’m here for prize review 1/7 :D
Whew! That was hot. You are so so good at these cop/mafia things. I don’t know if you feel like writing some of these as original fiction, but I feel like you definitely could if you wanted to go that direction.
This piece is absolutely perfect as it is though, especially having read All the Waves Resounded. I love this transposition of Ted and Andromeda into a Muggle AU setting. Andromeda is so deliciously wicked, and Ted is valiantly trying to do the right thing, up until he isn’t. His capitulation is so fun to watch as he crumbles.
All details—your descriptions of the fluorescent lights, and how tired and worn Ted is. Andromeda’s dress. The cool way she tells him she isn’t wearing any underwear (LOL). How the coffee mug gets knocked to the floor, and the way they’re trying to muffle the sound of what their doing (and sort of failing). The sex is raw and rough and so perfect for the tone of the story.
When Ted says he’s not doing this again at the end—well I don’t believe him. I doubt Andromeda does either.
Excellent work on this!
Yours,
Noelle
I AM FLAILING
I AM THROWNG ARMS
WHATEVER THAT MEANS
I'M STILL DOING IT
THIS IS AMAZING
I LOVE IT
OKAY OKAY I WILL CALM DOWN
NO I'M NOT
OKAY
OKAY
okay.
i apologise for my incoherence but I LOVE IT SO MUCH
okay
uh
i don't know whether you intended for this to be funny as well as smutty but honestly i loved that it was funny, just THE SNARK AND GIDEON IS JUST CHEF'S KISS SNARKY WHICH IS GREAT but but but also i loved the humour of narcissa just continuing to try and grab a weapon, it was like this thing where gideon is al 'uh nice try but no' and she's like 'but yes' and they're both like super hot which is unrelated to the humour but this review is just a mess but but i loved the story and the smut and the noir and like EVERYTHING
THANK YOU
kris
melanie........ melanie!!!!!! i have been absolutely slayed by this fic, i am typing from beyond the grave. a mafia modern AU is so perfect for these two, truly. andromeda the kingpin's daughter turned informant....ted as her handler.... i am so overwrought at the mere concept. please enjoy the mental image of me whispering just a single sustained ohhhhHHhhhhHH at varying volumes as i read this
the first sentence is so captivating just, right off the bat. ted is not doing this! and yet!! his absolute reluctance to indulge her and the way he does so anyway out of habit.... your descriptions of the way she's seducing him wordlessly are such good value. that her dress is a "flimsy thing that skims her hips and moves when she does" is so sensual, i love it and ted doesn't stand a chance. his internal grumbling about how this is Not How You Dress Down and "she looks like a snack" made me snort, poor beleaguered ted. assailed from all sides by femmes fatales! how dare they be sexy!
"That's why I got you a different handler" / "I want you to handle me" Yes. Yes
ok I know the mafia politics stuff was not your real focus but it is so good anyway. you so concisely and compactly get across the idea of this network & their activities -- a new house here, a rogue body there, and the hints about andromeda holding things back to protect her father. how she might know more things but for whatever reason she isn't going to say it now?? i love that???
"I’m currently not wearing any underwear" / "The fuck is wrong with you" is such a funny exchange to me asfsjdgs. the perfect come-on
your smut is smoking hot, if i could insert an elmofire gif here i 100% would. there's so much good stuff you express, ah -- the way that they clearly know their ways around each others' bodies, the way they're so familiar with each other and clear with the preferences -- and the little hint of power play between them where she starts out smirking but then lets him take over, and then the end where they sort of fight their way to a mutual standing, i am so heart-eyed and here for this
the ending was absolutely perfect of course. the tiny tender moment of brushing back their hair and then immediately the renewed resolution not to do this again. ted you WISH
melanie this was amazing, i love and adore it, thank you so much for creating and gifting it!!!! ??
Author's Response:Ahh I don't even know where to start with answering your comments/review! <3 Well, first of all, obviously, you're very welcome, and I'm over the moon that you enjoyed this. I have never written Tedromeda in my life, but I love the approach you take to them and the way you sort of headcanon their dynamic, involving Ted working for the Order and Andromeda turning traitor not only by getting involved with him romantically but by getting involved with the cause -- so that even though your Tedromeda fics all take a different approach to them, there's a consistent kind of thread running throughout them and they all feel so distinctly yours.
Ah yes, the "I told you we're not doing this anymore" as he literally ushers her into the office fhsjkaldfhas. Ted is a lying liar, mostly to himself. XD
A year and a half ago I was firmly in the "Nope, will never write smut, I am embarrassed just thinking about it" camp so your comments there are very much appreciated, sometimes I still feel cringe when writing it so I'm glad it worked here!
As very often happens when I write an entirely new character or ship, I feel like I have gained an even greater appreciation for Tedromeda after writing this (but like, YOUR Tedromeda!) so thank YOU for inspiring me to do this. <3
Happy holidays, Emily!!
Oh My Goodness, this is SO FUCKING GOOD! AHHHHHH!!!!
Like, I am weeping over here. You just cut to the core with this and its AMAZING.
I loved the terse way you set the story up, and actually how you formatted it on the screen too. It pulled me right into the story, and set up this sense of dread, because I know right away that something very very bad has happened.
I also loved how you translated the canon events into this AU. The Mommy-thing insult replaces Mud-Blood, but it has the same effect. And Severus here as a dirty cop on the take instead of a dark wizard, but it brings Lily to death. It’s so tragic and it works so well.
AND OMG MIRANDA!!!!! I loved her texts, and the way she acts with Severus—you got their dynamic so perfectly and I love how it translates here. When she’s trying to fix his cords and he shakes her off and she’s quick to reassure him that she’s *not* trying to patronize him, she’s just helping him get his shit together.
But the ceremonial final call—I did not know that was a tradition and it’s a heart rending one. So powerful. I literally had goosebumps.
Sev’s thoughts at the end, about never feeling like a cop, and no longer feeling like one of Tommy’s boys was on point for him.
Thank you so so much for writing this!!!! I love it so much!!!
Yours,
Noelle
Author's Response:I'm so so SO glad you liked this! As I said, I wrote it and went, "Shit, this is depressing" XD But like, I felt I could not do a romance for him any justice, particularly compared with your stuff, so here we are. Once I got this dirty-cop version of his double-agent status into my head I was just like *ooooh* :eyes:
I was racking my brains for a bit to come up with the incult that would drive them apart, something that I could convey in a one-shot that would be bad but like, not the most horrible thing ever, and fwiw, my own headcanon behind this was that like, he's particularly sensitive about her pregnancy bc yeah maybe he has kind of had a crush on her (whether before she was married to James or whether she was already married to james from the beginning) or even if he doesn't have those feelings for her he's kind of like, friend-jealous if you know what I mean? And police partners spend a lot of time together and literally rely on one another for their lives and in a way can end up closer to a partner than they are to a spouse, so even IRL, feelings develop and it can really screw with their existing relationships if they're not careful about it. (Cheating's a pretty common thing, unfortunately.)
I was really glad I could work Miranda in here in some way and I'm so glad you liked her! <333
Merry Christmas!!
Melanie <3
Melanie!! I am just totally blown away by this, to be honest. Giving me smuttiness with my beloved characters, you know the key to my heart!
I'm sure you're curious what it was that made me almost spit my coffee out across my computer screen. It was this right here: "He wanted her to ask for it."
But I love how this is sort of like "make up sex." And damn, it's wrought with so many emotions for only 600ish words. How do you do it?
And the way you worked the sisterly drama in this too is just...perfection. I love that it's mentioned that Cedrella had an offer that was better than what Callidora presently has, which sort of explains Calli's need to spitefully remind her sister of "her place," now that she's with Septimus.
And that Cedrella's still bitterly reminded of what she's lost by being with Septimus and...oh my poor heart...she does take it out on him a bit. But totally makes sense that there would be little instances of that between them. While I envision them largely happy, I'm sure there was a great period of adjustment for Cedrella. In this universe as well from what it sounds like.
Of course the "power play," dynamic was done magnificently. And *high five* "good, good sex bro!"
I swooned at the "and reverent," emphasis. Why didn't you tell me I would need my smelling salts ahead of time? ;)
And oh...he has a little name for her too. That's really quite adorable. <3 <3 <3 <3
Just imagine my face as one big pleading emoji because I loved this so much! Thank you so much for writing this for me!
<3 Courtney
Author's Response:Youuuuu are SO welcome, my friend! I've had aristocracy on the brain lately as you know and I was like oooh hmm here's a tiny little plot bunny (with no plot, but you know what I mean). Just Cedrella giving up a title and yeah I totally also envision them as happy but in our worst moments we all say those things when we have little resentments we've built up and have had things taken out on us by others, but at the end of the day she is HIS Duchess no matter what.
I'm really, really happy you liked this especially because you write them so well and have put so much thought into them!
<3 Melanie
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