Name: Oregonian (Signed) · Date: 10 Mar 2024 08:35 PM · For: Chapter 1

Hi, Barbara,

A clever little story, about the double-crossers and crooks getting a taste of their own medicine.  Svetlana is pretty cold-blooded if she doesn't mind murdering two people as art of a crooked business deal.  I will confess that I had to read this story repeatedly to get the characters straight, but that's okay.  It's good to have a challenge to figure a puzzle out.  Theses poor guys could have spent a little more time figuring out how this deal might go wrong, and protecting temselves better!  Good story.

Author's Response:

This wasn't my favorite. If I recall, it was for some competition and there was a maximum word count-most annoying requirement, so I had to cut a bit making it rather confusing. 

Name: prideofprewett (Signed) · Date: 10 Mar 2022 11:53 AM · For: Chapter 1

Oh wow! This was absolutely fabulous! Double crossing a double crosser and watching it all go up in smoke (quite literally). Your descriptions of the objects in this piece take center stage, and it's fitting because they are the focal point of this story.

 

You drew me in with these characters and made me want more! I want to learn more about their motivations and what's driving them to complete this unsavory mission. Is it pure greed? Are there other circumstances leading them towards this greediness? 

 

I think making readers crave moor, speaks to the writer's skill. You've made me care about Svetlana and I want to know what she's going to do with those jewels next. And also, because she doesn't seem to differentiate between them before sliding them into her bag...will she give the fake one to the wrong person and will it end badly for her?

 

Anyway, I could speculate all day, but this was a most enjoyable story for as short as it was required to be! Absolutely fabulous job and application of the plot! 

 

<3 Courtney  

 

~* 79 rising through the ranks *~

Author's Response:

thank you.

Name: RonsGirlFriday (Signed) · Date: 04 Mar 2022 06:49 AM · For: Chapter 1

Hah!! So much double crossing going on here, I love it. It's clever and pithy. And it's such a complete little story for how short it is! We understand right away what kind of deal is taking place and then we see in each of these quick little scenes, each person's backhanded plans -- both the seller's and the buyer's -- and then we get hit with that twist.

 

I also like how we can't tell for sure -- I can't, anyway -- whether Svetlana has actually double-crossed Volkov as Zheng and his partner believe. Perhaps she did or perhaps she didn't, and this was the plan between her and Volkov all along. At any rate, it inspires a lot of thought!

 

<3 Melanie

 

(galazy event)

Author's Response:

Thank you.

Name: grumpy cat (Signed) · Date: 15 Dec 2021 06:47 PM · For: Chapter 1

hii barbara! i'm here to judge my challenge ??

 

idk if you know this but i love me badass thieving rogue-type hella cool woman who is totally above literally all the men around her, especially the ones who underestimate her (which...it seemed definitely like a thing zheng was doing) so i loved what you did with the prompt here, having her cheat literally everyone involved in the exchange except herself obviously haha

 

i would definitely read more about svetlana if you ever decide to expand on the story, i love rogues/thieves and con artists and their stories!

 

thank you so much for entering my challenge ?

 

kris

Author's Response:

Thank you.