Name: Levana (Signed) · Date: 01 Aug 2018 06:24 PM · For: An Age of Change

Hello ^_^

 

Okay, where do I start? First of all, I just love the entire basis of this fic. Dragon Age and Assassin’s Creed are two of my most favorite game franchises and I like how you incorporated them together. And also, I love Varric – he’s probably my favorite character in Dragon Age in general. AND OF COURSE, COLE! I was so happy when he showed up 😊

 

Anyway, I also just loved some of the references to places/events in the games that – well – people wouldn’t appreciate unless they were a fan. Like the reference to Aveline’s kidddd. That made me so happy. And the reference to Hawke’s Mabari :p I could go on for ages about how much I loved all the references.

 

And the way you incorporated Assassin’s Creed! It wasn’t too in your face, but it was still there. And the idea of Mage Templars is really interesting, especially since they took the tenants from both the templars an the Assassin’s.

 

All in all, I just loved this story!!

 

~Maggie

Author's Response: Maggie, You share the very same love I do! Dragon Age is my obsession and Assassin's Creed is love. (I am particularly fond of the Ezio collection). I admit that it was a lot of fun weaving Assassin's Creed into Dragon Age lore. I've honestly go an entire universe in my head that even ties in Harry Potter I just haven't written those parts yet. But I have to agree that Varric is also one of my favorite characters. (I mean my laptop is even named after him - yeah I name my tech). Dorian is also another favorite of mine (which I have a fic of him that sort of preludes this one a bit). As for the references - I think that was the most fun! I couldn't help but trickle in the world I love so much into my story - I wanted to make the story approachable to those that don't know the world of Dragon Age and yet give nods to those who know it so well. I am hopeful that I achieved that. And yes Mage Templars - I couldn't resist and there is a reason both tenants are used here. Gah it makes me kind of want to consider doing more of the story featuring other characters. I've touched on Dorian, Varric, Cole, Zeveran and Morrigan, there are others and there is more story to be told. As an aside the world state that I've alluded to in what I've written thus far is not entirely reflective of any of the play troughs I've done. (I've not chosen to make Cole a spirit nor did I play a male inquisitor to be with Dorian - also I'm trying to avoid as many world state decisions as possible to keep things open.)

Name: Stella Blue (Signed) · Date: 31 Jan 2018 01:59 AM · For: An Age of Change

Hi and congrats on your FROG nomination!!

 

I admit that I have actually 0 familiarity with this fandom, so forgive me for being a bit clueless as some details are lost on me. But overall I understood it well enough to follow the story, and it was very exciting. I thought you paced it really well, from Varric's relaxing/playing cards at the pub, to this weird message he receives, to the battle at the end. You built up the story wonderfully, and I love the way you set the scenes by providing just enough detail that I can get a solid picture in my mind of what everything looks like.

 

The opening section provides a good introduction to who Varric is, and even though I know nothing about him from the original game, I still get a good sense of what kind of person he is from this exchange.

 

I'm intrigued about Cole, who seems to be a ghost, or somewhere in between a human and a ghost, and why he's still around after he's appeared to have died. He certainly isn't good at being straightforward XD  That would have saved a lot of time. Maybe that's something you sacrifice when you *move on* though. I'm also curious if he exists in this ghost form all the time and just, for lack of better description, Apparates from place to place (I know that's probably not what it's called), or if after he disappears from the pub, he just disappears and is back on the other side. I also wonder if I'm reading far too much into this if the particulars turn out to be unimportant or are already explained in the source material XD But, anyway, he is interesting.

 

It's funny that Varrick calls the Guard Captain 'Freckles', though I suppose when you are the Viscount you can get away with things like this.

 

This line was quite clever:

"I am going to live to regret this."
"That’s the aim: living."

 

Your battle sequence is quite impressive, I love all the detail you put into it and I can see the whole thing playing out almost as if it were a movie.

 

Glad to see he's still alive at the end! And the closing lines about Cole are so interesting. There's still so much mystery left at the end - this is very well set up for the trilogy it's a part of ;)

 

This was a great read, you did a wonderful job! Good luck in the FROGS :)

Author's Response:

Stella, thank you so much for the congrats and the review!  It is very sweet of you.  I've learned that a lot of people do not have a familiarity with the World of Dragon Age though I feel that it is very much in the wheelhouse of a lot of HP fans -or at least high fantasy fans.  It may be a video game but it has fantastic lore.  I am glad that despite the lack of knowing the world that it was easy to follow and understand.  That was very much my goal with this story and its companion pieces.  I wanted to make the world and story accessible to those new to it and yet not tedious to those that are familiar with the universe. 

I am glad I was able to give you a good picture of Varic and apologize that I could not manage the same with Cole.  He is a very elusive character in the games. He is actually a spirt - more aptly the spirit of Compassion and he likes to help people, he came to inhabit a human body and in the game there came a point where you can help Cole become more human or more spirit.  In this story, I opted to have him become more spirit and thus he went to the spirit realm called the fade.  As a spirit he helps and then is forgotten as well so I played on that as well but his cryptic speech was very much a part of the game.

You are right that Varric doe get away with things as Viscount but he never calls anyone by their real names save for Freckles' mom and a character named Hawke who you play as in one of the games.  Everyone else gets nicknames that are either descriptive or ironic thus the child of a person he knew that is now his Guard Captain get's dubbed Freckles. Anyway, I feel like I'm rambling, so I'll stop here and thank you for your continued kind compliments about the dialogue and the battle sequence.  This was only my second battle to write and I was so freaking nervous in doing it - I had to stop and give a lot of though to game mechanics and how they would translate in real life.  It was fun to experiment with but admittedly the almost death of Varric was me coping out because I didn't want to write more of the fight lol.

Again, thank you so much for the review and I am glad you liked my little tale.

Name: Rumpelstiltskin (Signed) · Date: 11 Sep 2017 09:35 PM · For: An Age of Change

I'm back! Coupling a MAGIC review and a challenge review (finally).<p>Bran is kind of right -- The Hanged Man can be a little ridiculous, but Varric seems right at home there anyway.

It's so weird seeing the characters post-war time but I absolutely love that you're writing in this section of time. They're growing older but they're still super awesome, and I absolutely adore how you're keeping their characters intact.

Ooh, ghosty Cole! Awesome job with his dialogue. I can't remember is Cole is from Asunder or Inquisition, but either way, I like what you're doing with him. I also love that you chose Cole to come to Varric in order to set the plot in motion -- sweet move. It's ominous and full of foreshadowing and I'm super stoked to figure out how Cole needs help from 'wherever spirits like him go'.

" "Shit," said Varric finally as he realized that he was on the precipice of another world saving adventure and this time he might very well be alone" -- Oh my goodness, I'm absolutely in love with this line. For whatever reason, I'm finding that it's not only summing up Varric as a character (just that one simple word) and telling me what's going to happen next in the adventure.

It's a good thing Varric can decode Cole's cryptic dialogue (using the Eluvian is such a clever idea by the way) because, as you're probably aware, I'm not so great with riddles.

Hooray! I guessed right -- the four from Assassin's Creed that were transported are going to be the link between these (other than the obvious DA and time-period, etc.), or at least I think that's what's going to happen, given the letter from Divine Justinia.

(Lol, Freckles :p )  And it's true, Bianca may be the most awesomely badass crossbow in all the lands, but Varric's probably going to be needing a little more help this time, especially if they're headed to Dark Town. (It almost feels like we're headed for Dragon Age: the Next Generation, with everyone starting to age and the younger AC members running amok lol!)  

Mage Templars! I'm assuming we're falling a little into the AC mythos now?  So much fun. Also, I want to take a brief pause to tell you how lovely your descriptions have been -- they're not these blocky, overdone paragraphs of description (that take me three coffees to get through), but how you throw just enough in here and there to help the reader imagine the scenes.  For example, while moving through Ander's old clinic, you've been dropping bits of excellent description here and there ("thin worn blankets and a meager smattering of hay") between action, plot, and dialogue sections. (Thank you!)

Also, I found the dialogue created from you doing a fantastic job with Varric and Cole's characters to be phenomenal! They just work so well together.

Again, another awesome fight scene.  Flow and pace are excellent, with just enough detail to slow me down where I need to.  The sentences aren't overly choppy, but short and sharp enough to add to the flow of the fight (ex: " Her bowstring thrummed as three bolts flew in rapid succession, one for each mage.")

Aand I totally thought you were going to kill Varric (I'm sensing a trend).  I'm also completely relieved to see that you haven't.  

""Maybe there is still a bit of human left in him after all," -- Oh my goodness, did you just leave me with a companion piece cliffhanger?  Hooooowww?! 

Amazing job!  I really loved this -- Varric was perfect!  Cole was awesome, and I loved Freckles :P.

Excited for the last installment

-Rumpel

Author's Response:

Honestly writing the characters older was not something I initially planned but Dorian started it and I ran with it and honestly it is a lot of fun writing the characters old and yet still badass.  There is something to be said for an experienced character who holds a lot of memories and knows the status of their life.  It's fun to explore and honestly easier to write sometimes too.

As for Cole he's one of the companions in Inquisition.  He was also in another portion of Dragon Age I believe like part of a DLC.  I know this is jumping to the end of your review when you mention the line about there still being human left in Cole and asking about it being a cliffhanger.  It isn't intended to be a cliff hanger at all.  In DA:I as the Inquisitor you are left with a difficult decision to make, help Cole become more human or have him go back to being more Spirit like.  On either side of this debate are Solas and Varric, Solas for Cole being a spirit as that is what he is and Varric for Cole being more human.  In this universe the Inquisitor choose to help Cole let go of things and return to being more spirit like which honestly saddened Varric at the time so the line was giving Varric a bit of hope.  But I am glad he did play well - I didn't want to make him a spirit (I sided with Varric in game, but the Iquisitor of this world is not my Inquisitor) but the story needed something to push Varric forward and spirit Cole was the answer.

As for Coles cryptic dialogue I watched so many videos of him on youtube and then tried to recraft it to be cryptic - lucky for me I know more of what he meant that what was said.  Some of what he is talking about was an allusion to stuff I haven't written yet though, in re-reading (cause honestly I forgot some things, I'm reminding myself of things I might have to craft as well).

 

As for Freckles, Varric likes nicknames and I had 0 ideas for what to name the child of Avaline and Sir Donnic so I stuck firmly with the nick name, it killed me having to dame the hound! (I so suck at names particularly ones that fit this world)  

Mage Templars, I loved the DA oximoron there that I couldn't resist and it is a play on the AC mythos and plays into how I see the HP and and AC worlds crossing over with one another.  Seriously I have like a whole universe up here *taps head* that melds all three worlds of DA, HP and AC - and you are to blame for it, thank you.

And yay descriptions!  I hate doing them, but I know they are important.  Dialogue and emotion or my forte's and I am trying to slow down and learn how to paint the scene for the reader and these three stories, particularly Dorian's where I really tried hard to focus on it. It was kind of the start of my practice, of making descriptions and visuals part of the story.  

Also, yay fight scene and it playing out.  I will make a few confessions here now.  Confession 1: the bowstring thrummed... that was a good portion Alexis, she offered the word when betaing to improve whatever the original sentance was, and I loved it.  Confession 2: I dreaded this fight scene... it was hard enough doing the one before thus I decided to cheat and cut it short by knocking Varric unconcious.  Thus my intent was never to kill Varric I just didn't want to write more and viola you have what happened.  Confession 3:  Okay this isn't a confession but I wanted a number 3 but I am glad the pacing was good that is something I worry about, keeping the pacing and yet getting the visuals in and this is why I avoided fight scenes till Dorian and knew I had to write one here as well.  There were no ifs about that.

Overall, I am really glad and excited that you have been enjoying the story!  It was a real treat writing them and I have loved every second of you reading them.  Like I can't even.  Just lots and lots of happy.  I would say I'm excited to read your thoughts on the last piece but I already have so next up... responding to that!

Name: Dojh167 (Signed) · Date: 28 Apr 2017 11:02 AM · For: An Age of Change

Age of change

 

Hufflepuff CtF Review

 

Not gonna lie, it’s pretty nice and convenient that your three longest one shots longest to shortest are in order in this series. Not as convenient as if you’d put them all in the same story, though ;)

 

Aw, so no Dorion this time around. While I like the idea of focusing on a different character in each of these stories, it’s a bit of a bummer, because I was just starting to understand the context of the characters in the first story XD  Ah well

 

This story spends less time with initial exposition and jumps right into a scene, which is just as fine by me because exposition I don’t understand only helps so much, plus I think this is a more engaging way to start a story.

 

“funny as Andraste's dimpled buttcheeks” was a delightful phrase I didn’t expect to encounter XD

 

I was kind of confused who was speaking with “Alright ladies.” I think it was Varrick, but it was strange how you described him, almost as if it was a character’s first introduction, which didn’t make so much sense here, particularly as you had already noted his gravelly voice.

 

I really enjoy the rhythm of “since becoming less human his words made less sense.”

 

This story certainly feels more accessible to someone who doesn’t know the backstory. The card game and banter was very grounding, and although I don’t totally understand who Cole is, the fact that Varrick doesn’t totally understand what’s going on either helps me feel less out of the know.

 

Bahaha at “"Shit," said Varric finally as he realized that he was on the precipice of another world saving adventure”

 

Ooh so maybe this will be kind of linked to the events of the first story after all

 

Again, our wit is very engaging. Another favorite is "I am going to live to regret this." "That’s the aim: living." And “Signed, your gullet.”

 

Okay, so the more I read the more I get curious about the plot of the games - that’s definitely a good thing!

 

Again, this story ended feeling quite unresolved, leaving me to wonder how it will be connected to the third story. The Divine is who connected the first two, and since Varrick is reporting on ehses events to her, I expect her to show up in the third one.

 

Well done!

 

Sam.

 

Author's Response:

Hello again Sam.  I am glad you like Varric he is probably one of the most relateable characters of the Dragon Age series and is one of the biggest fan favorites featurring in two of the three games that have been produced thus far.  I am glad you like the wit found in this story.  That was my favorite part of the story and very much Varric as a character in the games.  Though I'll credit the "Signged your gullet" the games though he said spleen in the games thus why it isn't marked as a direct quote.  But I think you might like the Dragon Age Games - I think most any Potter fan would potentially appreciate the Dragon Age world it's got magic and monsters it's just a bit more midevil fantasy while Harry Potter is more present day.

 

As for the third story the Divine is not exactly involved.  The Divine in the games can be one of three people based on how you play the games and I wanted to leave her ambigious.  In the 3rd story Leliana could very well be her and I think in my head The Devine is Leliana but I don't make that clear so a player of the came can easily imagine their chosen devine.  The story actually focuses on yet a nother character told from his perspective.  There are a few more stories half in my head to kind of help bring things full circle I just haven't had the muse to write them.  As for them being sperate I wanted them to stand alone and yet be connected and for the challenge I joined the rules said 3 seperate stories so thus you have it 3 sperate stories.  Decreasing length was just a coincidence.

 

Also the confusing line you point out that is something that I have been mulling over on how to fix that "Allright ladies was another person, and was more confusing before than it is now, so clearly that needs a bit more work.  

 

Anyway sad you landed on this story simply becuase it was the flag - but good game.