Name: RonsGirlFriday (Signed) · Date: 05 Apr 2022 02:49 AM · For: Nobody's Heard From Me For Months

Tag, Jac!

 

So this is like the messy aftermath of friends to lovers?? Ooh. Complicated! There's a lot of interesting hinting in this chapter about their history and the interpersonal dynamics at play. Like we get the feeling that it's so easy for Lily to fall back into... whatever this is... with Scorp, but at the same time she's jealous of the "easy affection" between Rose and Scorp. Maybe because with Rose it's just not fraight in the way it is with Lily because no romantic history (or maybe there is and I don't know yet). I'm so interested to know what exactly it is that's been going wrong in Lily's life -- whether it's romantic or professional or personal or whatever. I'm also digging your Rose characterization here; this combination of traits is not one you typically see for her!

 

I would have forgotten my own name had he not whispered it against my lips.

 

Hrrnnnnggg I love this line so much omg.

 

Melanie <3

Name: Crimson Quill (Signed) · Date: 21 Mar 2022 09:23 PM · For: Windows Boarded Up After The Storm

 

hello,

 

here for the galazy reviewing event :)

 

i love some of the description that you've used in this chapter, little bits of worldbuilding here and there. i love that it's set in the art world. skye seems like a talent artist and i love so much all that vivid imagery of what astoria is like. i don't get to think too much about her but i thought the way lily thought of her was wonderful.

 

Skye seems like a good friend to lily. one that she could very much use right now. I love seeing the mixture of characters that very awkward 'hey, i know someone who would be perfect for you!' was totally awkward. the setting of a dinner party/evening with friends was really nice backdrop like lily can't fall apart there, appearances are important. I think you're really doing a good job with portraying lily's mind and her emotional state.

 

Abbi xx

 

Name: inmyownlittlecorner (Signed) · Date: 20 Mar 2022 08:06 PM · For: Windows Boarded Up After The Storm

Hi Jacquelin! I am here for this dinner/pining fest :D

 

I approve of how Lily goes straight for the kitchen when she gets to the party. I also like to hang out in the kitchen—it’s where all the real action is.

 

Lily’s banter with Albus is adorable. They snark at each other, but you can tell there is love there too. But Albus’s comment about how Lily should have chosen to room with him instead of Rose—well I’m not sure he would think that if he knew about Scorpius prowling after Lily now. 

 

Speaking of Scorpius—I have :heart eyes: over how he catches Lily when she stumbles, and how she feels so stable and safe with him in that moment. It’s quite telling.

 

Oh, how uncomfortable things get when Albus and Rose start “debating.” I get it that some people like to go at it hammer and tongs and say it’s all in good fun, but it can be painful to observe that from the outside if it’s not your thing. I feel for Lily when she starts tearing up, and lo and behold, there is Scorpius calming her down and supporting her quietly.

 

BUT WHAT THE HELL IS THIS WITH ROSE TRYING TO SET SCORPIUS UP WITH SOMEBODY WHO ISN’T LILY—AND HE’S GOING ALONG WITH IT????

 

RUDE

 

And poor Lily has to pretend like she’s cool with it, because why would she care that Scorpius, Albus’s friend, is going on a blind date with some random woman who’s “perfect” for him.

 

Okay and now you’re leaving me hanging in this guest bedroom. Scorpius is teasing her, but then he’s trying to be understanding and connect with her. And then he steps out of the way and she has a clear escape route—but she’s hesitating…

 

Will she stay or will she go?

 

Yours,

Noelle 

 

RttR

Name: inmyownlittlecorner (Signed) · Date: 20 Mar 2022 07:54 PM · For: I Make The Same Mistakes Every Time

Hi Jacquelin! I’m here to catch up on your story :D

 

Ah the morning after. I love these scenes. It’s always interesting to see how people reflect on what happened the night before, and how it all looks in the clear light of day. Lily is clearly regretting her night with Scorpius, and to make matters worse, she has to see him again to at least return his jacket. Although with his connection to her family via Albus, it was probably unlikely that she’d be able to avoid him forever.

 

Fritz is being an arse this morning, but Lily is more sensitive to it than she might usually be, since she’s worried about either Fritz or Rose—or anybody—finding out about her indiscretion with Scorpius. 

 

And when she storms out and runs into Scorpius—wow I’m thinking this means he’s maybe more interested in her than he’s showing. Like he seems to assume that they are going to hook up again, and is surprised when she says they can’t. And then she uses her wiles to get him to show that he’s as fragile as she is.

 

I’m interested to know why Lily is so insistent that they can’t be together. Is it because he’s Albus’s friend? Or is something else going on?

 

I LOVE your comparison of the movement of the waves, and how they crash and reform, telling Lily that it’s okay to change and come back together. That was a lovely image.

 

Scorpius being all flirty was also delicious. I ADORE him twirling Lily’s hair around his finger, and how he is so confident and oops they wind up kissing again. And now we have this dinner that they get to be together at and pine for each other. Not that either of them will admit to pining. Yet. Key word being yet, I hope.

 

Yours,

Noelle

 

RttR

Name: Crimson Quill (Signed) · Date: 20 Mar 2022 03:15 PM · For: I Make The Same Mistakes Every Time

 

hey,

 

here for the galazy reviewing event :)

 

i thought this story has so much potential so I'm really glad to see that you're building on it and updating. i love how you describe lily's mental state like she seems to be floating through life like she doesn't know how to get out of the funk that's shes in or she does but she knows it's a really bad idea. I thought you did really good building up the world that lily lives in here, like london is a totally different world to new york with scorpius.

 

i thought it was cool to see some of the background characters coming into play here to create the cast. i can't get over how good the chemistry between lily and scorpius. so much potential for interesting and maybe messy plotlines in later chapters. i'm excited to see more of this story soon!

 

Abbi xx

 

Name: grumpy cat (Signed) · Date: 19 Mar 2022 08:10 AM · For: Windows Boarded Up After The Storm

excuse me, albus, but ozy is not a rodent he is perfect and i will not be taking questions at this time!

 

lily getting lost in thought before entering al’s flat made me smile just because she’s obviously been though some stuff and being back in london, and now the whole thing with scorpius, i’ve got a feeling it’s all a lot for her, like she’s trying to just keep her head above water after whatever happened and it’s a familiar feeling i really empathise with. especially when she fakes through the telling of stories around dinner, it’s all so real and her feelings are palpable.

 

her reaction to rose and albus arguing and albus hitting his fist on the table has me all sorts of…ugh :| 

 

but scorpius being all nice and reassuring and obviously noticing that something’s not quite right with lily warms my cold lil heart.

 

the little sliver of jealousy lily is feeling about the possibility of scorpius going out with rose and fitz to meet willow is hah kinda spectacular. like she’s so intent on nothing happening between her and scorpius but her actions speak louder than her thoughts :D

 

kris / ss voyager

 

Name: grumpy cat (Signed) · Date: 19 Mar 2022 08:00 AM · For: I Make The Same Mistakes Every Time

ah lily in the morning after not-glow and wide awake has me all awww at just, like, yk *her*. because she seems kinda really sensitive right now and like she needs a proper hug or something. i’m not a hug-y person but i would still give it to her. i’m of course super curious as to what exactly her ex (supposedly it was her ex?) did that haunts her, especially in the context of how she compares scorpius to him but without us knowing what exactly is going through her mind - it’s one of the things i love in your narrators, how they’re thinking things we don’t know but we see the effects of the things that happened to them in their actions, it makes for a very compelling read.

 

also i loved that little morning exchange between lily and scorpius, it was both funny because they’re both kinda nervous even though scorpius might really try to hide it, but kinda charming at the same time? despite lily telling him the exact opposite haha, that brief contact had me going heart eyes for them sooo

 

ahaha i’m cacklin at ‘i don’t pine’ and fucking hell that scene where they kiss again is all sorts of spicyy and i love it. especially love how skye is just casually asking how long they’ve been snogging, it’s hilarious when lily was like…yeahhh i’m gonna keep this a secret. like that’s possible when they can’t keep their hands off each other :D

 

kris / ss voyager

 

Name: blackballet (Signed) · Date: 18 Mar 2022 09:23 PM · For: Windows Boarded Up After The Storm

Hi Jacque, back for the galazy!

 

Okay just the chapter sumary has me hooked <3

 

OOF this one was sort of...heavy? It starts out so exciting, with Lily and Albus, and then SCORPIUS puts his hands on her waist and catches her again right in front of her brother. And poor oblivious Albus is like "don't tease my sister, bro,", little does he know :eyes:

 

Then we get into the conversation between Rose and Albus, and to be honest, I'm sort of like that with my boyfriend's brother, and I know that other people really don't like it when we "fight". But it was so sad to see Lily break down like that, and I hope that I never make anyone feel like that :/

 

It seems like this man in New York was much worse than just a heartbreaker. I don't want anything bad to happen to Lily, and no, he doesn't only want you because you're twisted and a little messed up right now <3 Lily!! please, see that Scorpius is obsessed with you <3

 

I'm so ready to find out what happened in New York, whenever you're up to writing it <3

 

Thanks Jacque!

Name: blackballet (Signed) · Date: 18 Mar 2022 09:12 PM · For: I Make The Same Mistakes Every Time

Hi Jacque, back for more! (and the galazy)

 

Okay, so there is a mysterious man and there seems to be real mystery behind him...what did he do to her a month ago?? Who is Scorpius going to fight on behalf of Lily?? (at least, we hope)

 

I feel more of her clumsiness from the night before coming into play in this chapter lol. Spilling her tea on mere sound of Scorpius is not very cool and collected of her. I love it, and I'm sure he does, too. And she lets her flusteredness get the best of her (IMO) when she tells Scorpius it's never happening again. BECAUSE IT IS. and also because she can't help but kiss him <3

 

AH okay, so Skye doesn't know exactly what happened with Lily and the other man either...secrets, secrets (but she can tell they're snogging, which, who couldn't, the way they act around one another). I love how they couldn't even go a week or so before falling into each other again. I can't wait to see how Albus reacts to them, and I'm hoping this dinner will be eventful :)

 

Thanks Jacque!!

Cat

Name: blackballet (Signed) · Date: 18 Mar 2022 08:46 PM · For: Nobody's Heard From Me For Months

Hi Jacque, here to start another story of yours for the galazy!

 

I feel immediately pulled into this environment, with Lily's moodiness seeming to darken everything <3 And even Rose kind of juxtaposes Lily. She's bright and quick and Lily is sort of dragging, onlyseeing things behind a fog. (and also...who is the man against her collarbone?? was it Scorpius once upon a time? or another man we have yet to meet?)

 

I love the way that they move towards the kiss a few times throughout this, only to be interrupted by Rose, then Rose and Fitz, and then when they are alone they finally give in. I wonder how long Lily's been thinking about Scorpius, and how long he's felt this way about her, especially knowing he and Albus are close, and also that Lily thinks she is always pushed to the side

 

And that last part really makes me feel lik this has been building for a while. The way they are so desperate for each other, stumbling and spinning :) I love it.

 

I can't wait to see where you are going with this!!

Cat 

Name: grumpy cat (Signed) · Date: 26 Feb 2022 11:52 PM · For: Nobody's Heard From Me For Months

so when are we getting the next chapter of this??? because this gremlin needs it because it’s fucking a++++

 

the chemistry between lily and scorpius is insane and i love how you played into the we play dumb, but we know exactly what we’re doing from new romantics without spelling it out. like, from the moment they meet at that bar it feels almost inevitable, as if there was no other way the night was going to end. despite lily obviously going through some shit and her life being messy, and then scorpius when he says ‘something like that’ to her comment about his life as a curse-breaker being too exhausting makes me think he’s also going through some shit, they really kinda just couldn’t stop themselves and i love that.

 

i also loved the constant mentions of the night sky and the stars and the wind, it gave this really atmospheric feel to the chapter, and like both lily and scorpius got swept up in each other like lily was swept up or wanted to be swept up in the wind at the start of the chapter…if only to not think about all the other stuff they’ve got going on.

 

pls write more because i loved this

 

kris / ss voyager

Name: Crimson Quill (Signed) · Date: 17 Feb 2022 07:44 AM · For: Nobody's Heard From Me For Months

 

hii - here for galazy reviewing event :)

 

 

Ahhh! I love this first chapter, the description is so amazing and really creates this amazing aesthetic for the story. I feel like I can picture them perfectly in the club together. The darker tones of Lily's thought process really worked for me. I love that her inner monologue is really defined. I liked how you really portray that hollowness that she is feeling and makes me really interested to know the history behind her feelings there.

 

 

I like the pairing of Lily/Scorpius - (Sily?) and I haven't seen it done many times before. I love the chemistry that you've built for them in this chapter. I love how instant it feels within the story but it does really feel there is a lot of history between them. I'm really looking forward to unpacking all of that. I can't wait to see more of this story because it's so promising!

 

 

Abbi x

 

Name: inmyownlittlecorner (Signed) · Date: 16 Feb 2022 09:08 PM · For: Nobody's Heard From Me For Months

Hi! I’m here for Prize Review 5/5 :D

 

This story is so atmospheric. You did a great job capturing the feel of the bar, of the balcony, of the rooftop. And all of the settings are in this haze of a sorts—a haze of the buzz you get from drinking, a haze of emotion of realizing you’ve got deeper feelings for your friend than you thought you did, the anxiety if wondering if that friend feels the same way. 

 

The pacing from when we first see Lily, feeling sort of alone even in this crowded bar, to when she and Scorpius finally kiss was good. There was a good build up of the will they or won’t they. Since it was from Lily’s point of view, it was fun to wonder whether or not Scorpius felt the same spark she was feeling.

 

They both seem a little surprised that they a) spent the entire evening together and b) had fun the whole time—more fun than they’d anticipated. And then the kiss where they come crashing together was the lovely pay off.

 

Yours,

Noelle

Name: Sleepy Enigma (Signed) · Date: 10 Dec 2021 06:51 AM · For: Nobody's Heard From Me For Months

Hi Jacquelin! Nice to meet you, I'm Della and I'm here to introduce myself with a gift review for the Arctic Adventure! (I also picked this one cos it looked lonely without reviews haha)

I really enjoyed your take on the friends you are dating but don't realise it trope, and I love the Scorpius/Lily ship! (It's a rarepair in my book and I'm fond of those hahaha). I think you also showed the angsty tension between them well as well as the familiarity they had with each other as good friends. I really liked the hopeful ending that wasn't a cliche "lets date"/kiss etc.

I'm SO happy you made a reference to Ozymandias, its actually one of my favourite poems (the one by Shelley) and I thought naming a kitten Ozymandias is such a subversive and adorable choice!

Overall, I thought it was such a fun and sweet piece with the perfect amount of angst and tension that's beautifully tied together with your ending!

Della

Author's Response:

Hi There Della!

Thanks for leaving me such a sweet and thoughtful review on my newest story :D I've been trying to write something Scorp/Lily since one of my older novellas where they were actually just best friends, but hadn't ever found the write prompt or story beat and then this challenge came up and I went all :elmo fire: 

- Jacquelin

 

Author's Response:

Hi There Della!

Thanks for leaving me such a sweet and thoughtful review on my newest story :D I've been trying to write something Scorp/Lily since one of my older novellas where they were actually just best friends, but hadn't ever found the write prompt or story beat and then this challenge came up and I went all :elmo fire: 

- Jacquelin