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Ooh, okay, so I'm not I've very often -- if ever -- seen a story that addresses the state of Luna's family after the war, what happened to Xeno, how she'd react, etc. I think in chapter 2 you caught this little bit of Luna that is certainly capable of feeling offended and hurt, in the way she reacted to Hermione about them not telling her anything at Shell Cottage. I also thought it was very Luna-ish when she said, "We were all rather busy for a while, weren't we." XD
And similarly, the way you've acknowledged the fact that so many of these other characters would have been displaced from their families -- like Seamus and the Patil twins. Maybe none of them went to the lengths Hermione did with her own parents, but there'd still be a lot of separation and uncertainty and people effectively "orphaned" after the war.
Also what a super interesting idea about the goblins calling for the trio's arrest for what they did at the bank. It makes sense because the goblins have made it very clear that this was not their war and they weren't on anyone's side but their own, and really what do they care that Harry needed to burglarize their bank in order to defeat Voldemort? (I think maybe I've seen someone acknowledge a similar attitude by the goblins once before -- in After Destiny by cambangst -- not totally sure bc it's been a while -- but other than that, yeah, haven't seen a lot of people exploring the goblins' position on all this! BTW, highly recommend After Destiny, it's a post-war fic like this one.) :)
Ooh cliffhanger at the end here! XD
Back soon!
Melanie
Author's Response:It's been a while, but I definitely read that story by CambAngst! And it's not the same of course, but I definitely see the similarity :D I know! I don't know why no one has talked about Luna's side of things, and I've gotten plenty of positive comments on how I wrote her and need to do one with her as a main character, I just don't know when!! Sigh... It'll happen someday. Also, grief and stress bring out another side in her, so I think it made sense that she felt that way. Her and Hermione have also butted heads in the past so if she was going to be a little snippy with anyone, it'd be her. This was a really difficult chapter, so I'm so glad you enjoyed this. See you soon! -Heather
Hi Heather! I love a good post-war picking-up-the-pieces story. :)
I do like that this is Ginny's POV, at least so far, as we get the least of her perspective in the books, compared to Ron and Hermione (and obviously it's all in Harry's POV, but we get a lot of his friends' perspectives through his interactions with them).
I thought it was really sweet how Harry and Ginny had this passionate reunion kiss and then were both like, "omg I'm so sleepy," lol.
ALSO. The image of Ron carrying sleeping Hermione to bed. Yes, I will carry that in my heart always. (Even though I write almost entirely Percy/Audrey now as you've seen, my original OTP is Ron/Hermione and I still love them.)
Look forward to seeing where this goes!
Melanie
Author's Response:Aww, I'm so glad you enjoy post-war. Not that people shouldn't like Marauders, many forget that post-war can be adorable! Maybe it's because I started reading and writing just before/after the last book came out and people were still guessing the ending, who Harry ended up with etc... there was a really cute one with him and Hermione. But anyway! Yes, I think the kiss and then sleep was adorable. And makes sense, they'd be exhausted after all of that! Yep! Ron carrying Hermione to bed is the Cutest <3 I love them too. I love them all and it made it really hard to keep focus on the actual storyline. In my original I was bouncing to all kinds of different characters, Luna, Neville, George, Angelina etc... I'll still write them, but it may become more of a series than just a story. I'm so happy you liked this chapter, can't wait for you to read it! Thanks for the reviews, you were busy that day! :) -Heather
Hi, Heather! Here for our swap (sorry if I'm a bit late...)
Urgh, these goblins! :/ I mean, I get they're angry, but still, they are violent, nasty things, aren't they? Poor Ron and Hermione, getting that treatment... and right after such an exhausting trip, too... :/ It must've been so scary and confusing... thank goodness Hermione managed to keep her wits (not that I'm surprised) and Ron didn't mess up either... I wonder how this whole thing will be solved, here for them and back in England for Harry. The Trace is definitely a good compromise, I'm almost surprised the goblins were satisfied with that (at least for now)
I really, really loved the description of the beach in the early morning! I think you captured the atmosphere of that scene brilliantly, I could almost smell the salty air, so lovely! I really enjoyed the bit of the sandwich stand, too, and all these "unusual" tastes... it was cute!
And talking about cute... Ron's thoughts about Hermione there... wow, he truly loves her, doesn't he?
I think Ron's comment about Lavender was a bit unfair, actually... but he's sort of right, too... they deserve to laugh, after everything... but also, poor Lavender... :(
I'm so glad Hermione's parents are recovering already and that she got to be reunited with them already! I mean, it felt a bit sudden (but maybe that's only because I've seen other takes on the matter in which returning Hermione's parents' memories was much more complex, so maybe I'm biased...) but that's okay because it's one thing less the characters (and, as a consequence, I) have to worry about! :P
Nice chapter! I enjoyed it and that it was a bit more lighthearted (a little lighthearted break is good in mostly angsty stories from time to time :P)
Thank you so much for swapping!
Snowball hug,
Chiara
Author's Response:Reviews lately have been so much fun to read and respond to, it's hard not to give anything away!! I have to let you keep guessing until you read it for yourself lol. It's always stuck in my mind what Hagrid says in HP 1 about them not being very friendly, which for him really means nasty! I went to Australia once a little more than 15 years ago and remember the beach vividly. I'm so glad you enjoyed that and that my memory of the place helped :) I had to put a little fluff in there, I mean, this is the first time he and Hermione have been this alone right?? I know, the comment about Lavender doesn't help, but I can't help but think that it'd be hard to just forget about her too, it took up their whole 6th year almost and then she dies fighting in the war. I hope to balance the Fluff and Angst in this story. Sometimes stories are way tooo angsty and honestly, it's not very realistic. Many times when we go through grief there's still bits and pieces of happiness thrown in. It's confusing at times, but still happens.
Thanks for the review!!
-Heather
Hi hi! Here for the promised review:
I am going to start off by saying I really appreciate how you haven't shied away from the consequences that Harry, Ron, and Hermione have to face post-war. It sucks, but even crimes committed during war times must have to be investigated. Hopefully their interrogations with Bill will help smooth everything over. And could they potentially use Veritaserum? I suppose not in a real trial, but maybe just to hear the full truth of it.
Also, I am curious why you are having them keep the Horcruxes a secret still? Could it be perhaps that all the talk of not knowing who to trust is actually foreshadowing???? I am a *little* stressed about Cora. I love her and Sirius Jr., but I am also a little skeptical and wary of her still. There are just so many things happening all at once, and the dust hasn't settled yet.
Hermione and Ron deal with the Goblins really well, I only wish Harry had some of that tact, lol. I also really love how Ron talks about laughing when they get the chance--I think Fred would approve of that, too. The way you pace the ups and downs of grief post-war seems very true and honest :) One thing I would have to say about formatting is that sometimes your paragraphs can tend to go long. Especially following dialogue, it can be hard for me to follow. Just something to consider!
Anyway, another great chapter from you! What an interesting story about this time in the HP universe :)
Catherine
Author's Response:Thanks for the review! Sorry it took so long for me to respond, I usually do it right away. I'm doing a bunch now because I was trying to write earlier and wasn't writing anything good... So this helps get feedback and confidence :) I'm glad you appreciate the post-war crimes, it had occurred to me that I hadn't read anyone who'd done that. I'm glad it's making you try and guess what will happen next! No comment there ;) I WANT to tell you about Cora, but all I can say is that she appears in my With Sirius Black story eventually, so hopefully that will answer some questions. I'm still a ways off from that however, so I guess you'll have to wait! Harry might have had more tact if he hadn't been hung over LOL. I'm glad you liked how Hermione and Ron handle the Goblins, I didn't want it going tooo well, it's not like Ron is too much more tactful than Harry is, but I feel like Hermione pushes him to be better. It's like in HP7 during the war, he figured out where to get the basilisk fangs and was really driven to get it done. Unfortunately, not that I know much about war, but grief is something I'm accutely familiar with, both the ups and downs... sigh. It makes for better storytelling though. I'll keep an eye out for the formatting, I'll have to take a look, I try and break it up, but sometimes it doesn't work with the scene.
I'm So happy you like it! I hope to keep it going a long time! I'm really excited by the new readership :)
-Heather
Hi, Heather.
I wanted to let you know how impressed I was with the section of this chapter that begins with "So, what the bloody hell happened out there?" and ends with "You really love me?" This dialogue is so great because neither Ginny nor Harry is going off the deep end. There is expression of strong feelings, of misunderstandings, of explanations, but also of apologies and reassurances. Both people are trying to stay calm and caring, to ask their necessary questions and listen to the answers.
This scene could have descended into a shouting match in which neither one was actually listening to the other, and that might have been very dramatic and action-packed, but it would have been ultimately unsatisfying to the reader because Ginny and Harry would have been behaving stupidly, and I really don't like scenes in which people are being unnecessarily stupid. Life is hard enough as it is (the Second Wizarding War?) without our going out of our way to make things harder.
So I think you dealt with this whole subject very well, and not all authors do.
The rest of the chapter is sweet and sensitive and shows a lot of caring, but what I mentioned is what stood out the most for me. Well done.
Vicki
Author's Response:I'm so happy you enjoyed their interactions. I completely agree, after a while, people who go through lots of grief don't want to go through unncessary arguments. I see them discuss what truly bothered them and move on. They understand each other more than most teens would because of what they've been through. I'm so glad you understood where I was coming from. I hope you enjoy what else comes in future chapters if you'd like :) Thanks for reviewing!
-Heather
Hi there, I am here from the forum for a review!
I love reading from Ginny's POV. I don't really get to a lot of stories that feature her, so I am so glad you brought this to my attention! Oh man, that realization that the twins will never tease her again is so wrenching. You do a really great job of taking the audience through Ginny's emotions at this time.
It's interesting how Kreacher is so keen on Ginny, even though she is a Pureblood because he has previously been so against the Weasleys. I guess, as said, they finished Regulus' work. I wonder how he will function now without any agenda to attend to. Your Ginny is so great and reminds me of book Ginny! I love how forward she is with her feelings and opinions. She really aligns with my view on Ginny. Oh, and now he has to tell her about Dobby :(
Lol I love how Hermione and Ron are in a honeymoon phase sort of thing, where Harry and Ginny are a little more...lived-in, if that makes sense. Like all the blushing with Hermione while Harry and Ginny just share sandwiches. So quaint and content. (Oh, they get to hear from Kreacher about his politeness)
Wow I love this ending with Andromeda, too. So many people coming together, I wonder how all their post-war stories will intertwine! Thank you for bringing your writing to my attention, it's really fantastic. I can't wait to see where you are going with this story, and I really appreciate your personal connection that you've shared with us at the end of the chapter <3
Catherine
Author's Response:I'm so happy you enjoyed it! It's true, I don't read too many stories from her point of view, but I get really inspired by her character in the books. Kreacher isn't perfect, but I love what I do with him later, it's really sweet. I had to do something with Andromeda but it was heartwrenching to write. This feeling lasts for a couple of chapters, but will eventually be more about many other topics! I can't wait for you to read more about what happens, I think you'll really enjoy it based on what you thought here. Thank you so much for your review, I truly appreciate it! It makes me want to write more.
-Heather
Hey, Heather! Here for our swap, sorry for the lateness...
Well, this was an eventful chapter for sure... I'm not at all surprised that the goblins want to take revenge on Harry, Ron and Hermione to be honest... I do wonder how they are getting out of this one... those goblins don't seem like they want to hear reason... :/ What a cliffhanger to end the chapter on!
But let's go back to the beginning and try to review this in some kind of order... :P
Those poor kids... I'm not surprised they're all having trouble sleeping... it's nice of Molly and Arthur to allow the couples to sleep together, btw... I'm not sure if I should be surprised or not, but anyway it's nice.
And it was nice to see a bit more of Cora and Siriur jr :P I am very curious to find out more of their backstory, and yes, it is weird that Sirius didn't tell anyone about her, but I guess he was too preoccupied with other things... and maybe, if he feared she could get in trouble because of him, maybe he thought the less people knew they safest she'd be? But still, I can see how Harry would feel sort of betrayed... and how sad is it that all three Marauders (not counting Peter here :P) left orphan children behind? It is kind of unfair... but at least they all have some kind of family around... because, yes, family is not necessarily determined by blood, it's also the people you choose/who choose you to have around and love, and that's a lovely concept! <3
(I still hope you'll have more of Cora and Harry talking about Sirius and how Cora and Sirius met, because I'm really curious about it all... :P)
It must be so hard for Harry to see Ron and Hermione leave, after everything they've been through together. I'm quite sure they won't be gone for too long, though, so that's good! ;)
But yes, who will snap Harry out of his guilty thoughts now? I loved the way Ron intervened there, btw! You could really see how deep their friendship is and how well they know each other, which is nice because sometimes Ron isn't given the justice he deserves!
Poor Luna, though, seeing her father like that. And Neville can surely symphatize, much more than everyone else can... I hope Xenophilius will get better!
I thought it was kind of funny how Harry got drunk... :P I can see why he would be drawn to George at that moment, though. Like he was feeling a bit of an outsider and wanted a bit of quiet, it makes sense... it was also sad, when Fred came up... it's really painful, you know?
Looks like he chose a bad timing to get drunk, though, with Ron and Hermione's sudden leave and then the goblin mess... again, I wonder how they'll solve that one... I feel a little bit bad for Kingsley, too. He has quite a lot to deal with, doesn't he? :/
Interesting chapter! Well done! ;)
Snowball hug,
Chiara
Author's Response:Hi! Thank you so much for the review! This was a tricky chapter but I got through it. I thought it was fitting for there to be a "drunk" scene with George. It makes sense. Originally, I had a lot more with Luna, but I realized I'll need to give her her own story because it's a little confusing to give her whole chapters here and there. This story needed more focus about H/G and H/R. You will see more about Sirius and Cora in my short story With Sirius Black. I need to add another chapter to that soon too! There won't be more about them in this one until I get to write about Christmas, which I'm not sure I'll get to on time. We'll see. Yes, Molly and Arthur let them sleep together when they have trouble sleeping, but don't encourage them to do it all the time, just when they have nightmares. I used to give people trouble for ending on cliffhangers, but as the author, I get it. It really helps me keep myself interested too, like I have to keep writing! I feel bad for Kingsley too, he really does have a big mess to clean up.. I'm so glad you liked it! Thanks for coming!
Hello! I'm glad you're continuing this, I've been looking out for updates! First off, I really liked the end part with the goblins, it made a lot of sense that they'd be angry about the break-in and it feels really realistic that things are (sort of) continuing as normal. After all, the world keeps turning and I really liked how Harry says 'I never realised after the war was over that we'd still need to be this secretive.' When the battle is over in the books it's all peaceful and quiet, but of course things wouldn't stay like that and I like how you've shown it here. I'm intrested in where this is going to go and what other repercussions might surface for the Trio. I'm sure Kingsley will have their back, but I'm sure the road will still be hard.
I also liked how you delved a bit more into Cora and how Harry feels about it all, it felt very realistic, as did the conversation with George, and how he couldn't bring himself to say Fred's name. I hope we see more of Cora and how her relationship with Sirius all began. It's so sad that she only got to spend a few months with him.
You said in your authors note that you struggled writing this and deciding who to write about, and I do think that shows a little. There was a lot of content in this chapter, which at times was great, but sometimes it did feel like there was a bit much, I do think things could have been condensed down a little to make the chapter more precise. Until the part with the goblins the chapter felt slightly directionless, which I do think mirrors how the characters are thinking and feeling after such a momentous, life changing event, but it did start to leave me wondering where this was all going.
After that ending though, I really cant wait to read more!
Author's Response:This was such a lovely review! It really really helps me to figure out what to iron out if I want to and also what works. I think it's so long because my previous chapters are too and if I cut it too short or rush through it that can be jarring for a reader too. It's funny how the "directionless" aspect of the chapter actually completely reflects how Harry feels specifically. Though, maybe I can show that through his character more and less with my own writing LOL. I'm glad you enjoyed it so much but reading about what didn't stand out to you was actually helpful too. I might know where to edit and it might be just enough to still be comparable to the last chapters and be a bit more focused. I'm so glad you enjoyed it! I figured out a few plot twists with the Goblins, it's been really fun to write. I'll be back soon! Thanks for your great review :)
Gosh why do you have to go and make me cry... multiple times?!?! Jeez.
But seriously, good read. I'm moving onto the next chapter immediately!
Author's Response:Aww, thank you so much! They won't all be tear jerkers, but it's an emotional time at the moment. Can't wait until you read the next few :) Thanks again!!
Sorry this is a little late!
Oh my goodness! I did not see that coming with Cora! Is it strange that I felt a little betrayed? Haha! It was a very interesting introduction and I wonder what's going to happen. I do think though that the characters' reactions to finding out Sirius had a secret wife and son was a little glossed over, I would have thought they'd be a bit more shocked and would dwell on it a little more. I think Hermione would be concerned about how Harry would deal with it as well. I think she would know that Harry blamed himself for Sirius's death and would worry that he'd be feeling all sorts of guilt knowing that Sirius placed looking out for him above his wife and child.
Luna... I think you wrote her really, really well! Definitely everything she says I could see book Luna saying. I really liked as well how she was upset with Hermione and how she broke down. I don't often see Luna written in this way and I really liked it. You did a really good job with her. Another character I think you write well is Ron. He seems appropriately bamboozled when confronted with Sirius James yet was great at stepping up. I think that's a really realistic portrayal. He's also really supportive of Hermione and I think that's how he would act too.
There were some lines that I really loved too. The first was Flitwick's:
'It's been a long time since I've seen someone that energetic.'
This may have been a throwaway comment, but I think there is so much meaning behind it. They've all just experienced a really traumatic year and I think that focusing on the little bits of joy that come along is a really realistic thing to do. It seems really fitting considering what's just happened.
The other was this of Hermione's:
'You and Harry's adventure ended with Voldemort, mine is still underway.'
I don't know, I just really love this line.
I'm also really glad you kept the bit about the castle repairing itself! I really liked that detail in the first chapter, it seems like something it really would do and seems such an original idea! I'm glad it made it into this chapter.
Author's Response:Thanks for transferring my reviews! I'm sorry I didn't get a chance to do the same.
I'm so glad you liked Cora! Considering it was a surprise, I expected you may feel a little betrayed. Though, I'm not sure Harry still blames himself for Sirius' death. I think he learned a lot since then and knows, like his parents, their choices were ultimately their own. I also think that Hermione has a lot on her mind and may not worry too much about Harry, maybe a little, but not too much to mention. I tried to emphasize their shock with speechlessness and Hermione trying to gloss over her own shock by offering help to Cora and Sirius James.
I really need to write a story with Luna! I do connect with her a lot and many people enjoy how I write her, I'm glad you do to!
Loved that you thought Sirius James brought out Ron's personality well.
The line with flitwick I love. I wasn't expecting to write it but surprised myself when I did. It really fit the scene.
That line of Hermione's, I wasn't sure of. I thought it was a little dramatic, but I couldn't bring myself to cut it either. I'm glad you liked it!
The castle repairing itself I HAD to keep. That was one of my favorite ideas from the beginning.
Thanks so much for the review!
Heather
Hi Heather! I'm here for our swap :)
There's just so much sorrow wrapped up in the elation of having defeated Voldemort. All the losses are so hard to take. I'm glad you didn't shy away from that in this chapter.
I loved seeing Kreecher being so helpful; and Ginny trying to get her barings with Harry again. In their year apart so much has happened, to each of them, and while they still love each other it must have felt very strange trying to catch up with everything they'd missed.
Andromeda bringing baby Teddy so she can see Tonks's and Remus's bodies broke my heart.
I loved seeing Harry and Ginny bouncing the baby though.
Nice job and thank you for the swap!
Yours,
Noelle
Author's Response:This is the Umpteenth time I've edited this chapter so part of me did want to shy away from it since I've written it so many times... But I finally got to a point I'm happy with it so I'm glad you are too. Kreacher turns into a great character and love including him, you'll see more of him in later chapters. I liked including little glimpses of how they all become more "parent-like" not all at once of course, but hints of their future selves are fun to write. Thanks for the sweet review! -Heather
Hello, Heather, here for our swap! :)
Wait, so Sirius got married and had a child while on the run during GoF? :O I was totally not expecting this! :O
And little Sirius is very cute, although, poor child... finding out your dad is dead when you've never even met him... it must be hard... but he's still so little, so he probably didn't even fully understand it, and he has his mum and all these new friends, so maybe not quite as traumatic as it might've been, I suppose.
I am very curious about Cora's backstory, though, so I'll probably need to check out your other fic at some point... ;)
Poor Hermione, I do understand her so well... of course everyone's suffering, but missing your parents and seeing families (re)united around you... it's hard... and of course she would have doubts, locating her parents in a whole different continent and fixing a memory charm that she's not even sure can be fixed... it would be an overwhelming prospect, to say the least. I'm so glad Ron is there for her and so determined to help! He's so sweet and caring in this chapter!
Speaking of Ron, I love how panicked he was about looking after Sirius at first, but then he just took to the child so easily... I bet he'll be a wonderful dad when the time comes! ;)
I really loved McGonagall's line about how grateful she was that Hermione was with Ron and Harry during their mission! They really wouldn't have lasted a day without her... lol :P
If you don't mind a little CC, I feel like sometimes the pace of your narration is a bit rushed, like a lot of things happen in quick succession and it's a bit hard to keep up... maybe you could expand on things a little bit more, maybe including a bit more description here and there? Of course, this is only my personal opinion, so feel free to ignore me... :P
All in all, a good job so far! I like the way you are focusing on the characters' emotions, they've all gone through a lot and there's still a lot they need to work through and it really comes across in your writing... I think you capture everyone's reactions and feeling really well! I'm looking forward to see what happens next and how everyone will deal with it, and I'm especially curious to learn more about Cora and Sirius and see how they fit in with Andromeda and with the whole clan. :D
Thank you for the swap!
Snowball hug,
Chiara
Author's Response:I'm so glad you enjoyed this! Yes, please feel free to read With Sirius Black, you'll get more backstory there eventually. I really enjoy tuning into the characters feelings so it means a lot that you liked them so much! I love CC and I completely agree. In my journey to edit my original version, which was ten times bigger, sometimes I condense things a little too much and it feels rushed. I'll go back and see what I can do to fix it. I'm also a bit perfectionist so it's important to me. I'll be by to review a story of yours soon! Thanks again!
*Transferred from HPFF*
Hello!
Thought I'd drop by as promised and R&R this chapter. I read both to get an idea of your story from the beginning. 'After the battle' is a difficult place to start from but I think you've done a fantastic job of re-creating the atmosphere and describing how different characters are responding in the aftermath. I especially love Luna's characterisation; I think it's very hard to write Luna well without going overboard with her dream-like tendencies, but I think you've got her spot-on here.
The line:
“You did save the wizarding world, I think you’ve done quite enough.”
- is exactly the sort of sentence I can imagine Luna saying in that moment. It conveys an enormity in such a simplistic way, as many of Luna's more profound statements do.
I was excited to read about your OC's! I'm presuming Cora McKinnon is related to Marlene. Were they sisters or cousins, or perhaps more distant relations? In canon, all the McKinnons died during the first wizarding war, but there's no requirement to follow canon, obviously, or maybe only Marlene and her immediate family were killed? I'd love to know more about Cora and how her relationship with Sirius began, how they managed to keep that relationship going whilst he was on the run. I'm hoping you'll reveal more in subsequent chapters.
Sirius James spells trouble!! Haha! So much cheek; poor Professor Flitwick! This bit of dialogue:
“Young man?! I’m a kid! You’re a silly little guy”
- Little horror! Does he have no respect for his elders?!
How old is Sirius James in this chapter, by the way?
I really felt Hermione's anguish over wanting to reunite with her parents. She took such a risk meddling with their memories and sending them to Australia. Will she manage to find them and reverse the enchantments? I look forward to reading and finding out.
Thanks for the recommendation - great read so far!
PnK
Author's Response:Thank you so much for transferring the review! Just so you know, I have since edited a little bit and talked a little more about how she was related to the McKinnons. I've also just posted Chapter one of With Sirius Black that will eventually go into how he and Cora meet. Sirius James has become one of my favorite characters to write. He's adorable. I'm also glad you liked my characterization of Luna. I've come to the conclusion I have to write a story with her. It just has to happen. Thanks again!
Hi there! Harry/Ginny isn’t something I read very often but I liked this. I thought their reunion was very sweet and I liked how Ginny was both concerned about Harry and a little bit angry that she’d had to deal with not knowing where he was or even if he was alive.
Ginny looked up at the sky and scowled at it. With everyone so laden with grief it should have, at least, been grey and raining. Instead the sky was blue and cloudless, almost as if it had won a triumphant victory of its own.
I loved this bit, really good. If I have a critique it would be that the beginning was a little rambling at times, Ginny’s thoughts could probably have been condensed a little more without losing any impact. But I did think her grief felt very realistic. Overall, good job!
Ah darn, I can't leave another review but hopefully I can edit this one. I think this is a much better chapter! It's much more concise and has more impact than the previous two. I really loved the inclusion of the Slytherin girl and it's lovely that it actually happened to you in real life. What a wonderful person that was, and I love how you made the girl a Slytherin. The book gives Slytherin house so little redemption, it's nice to see that represented here.
I also like the air of grief that hangs over the whole place, it feels very realistic after what has happened and I like the little snippets of detail, like Ginny and Molly helping to deliver Teddy. I feel like Molly would have made a wonderful midwife!
Good luck with all the editing, I really look forward to reading more.
Author's Response:Thank you so much for transferring your review from hpff <3 Again, I'm so glad the edits were done well and I hope to continue that. The entire story will be much more condensed than the original! I'll be over to review you too :)
Hey, Heather! :)
I will definitely stop by your Jily at some point (probably tomorrow, it's pretty late here now...) but I first wanted to transfer the review I left you on HPFF ;)
Hello, Heather! Here for our swap!
Aww... this was so sweet... sad, too, of course, but I loved the way you handled Harry/Ginny and Ron/Hermione and little Teddy... especially little Teddy... (I have a big love for the Lupins, in case that wasn't obvious... :P)
I think you captured the aftermath of the battle really well, I could feel the exhaustion, the grief, the comfort/relief, so many different emotions, and you managed to show them all, so well done! I also really loved that little moment with the Slytherin girl, of course not all Slytherins would be on the dark side, and it was a lovely moment of human compassion... although, ouch, that sudden reminder of Fred hurt!
I bet there's so much that Harry needs to explain to Ginny... we know the story by heart, but it would all be pretty crazy to listen, wouldn't it? I can't blame Ginny for being angry, although poor Harry has been through so much, too... but at least they know they love each other and that's what matters!
(I loved Ginny's surprise when Kreacher was so helpful all of a sudden Although, the reminder of Dobby also hurt quite a bit...)
Harry with Teddy was absolutely adorable! I loved how reluctant he was at first, but then it just worked out and it's so cute! I've never forgiven JK for making Teddy a orphan, but Ginny is right, it won't be like it was for Harry... Teddy won't have his parents, but he will be surrounded by love!
This review is sort of inconclusive, lol... but I enjoyed reading the chapter!
Thank you so much for the swap!
Snowball hug,
Chiara
Author's Response:Thank you so much! I appreciate you transferring it. I'm really glad you liked it, it's been really hard to keep editing this chapter, but I think it finally came out well enough. I thought it captured, they're hurting right now, but things will get better and they'll be there for each other all the way. I hope you like the next chapter too! -Heather
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