Name: Ameripuff (Signed) · Date: 16 Mar 2022 10:06 PM · For: a nonet

For the Galazy review

Melanie, 

Always a challenge to write a 500 character review on a 47-word poem, but here goes.

So with a nonet, you were really tied into the form, but the ‘unopened’ prompt seems to have so many opportunities.  I’m curious about why you chose that bent-up, forgotten granola bar at the bottom of your purse unless you were there digging for ideas and came across it.  

I love that you gave the granola bar (and I would imagine the other forgotten relics) a personality as if it had become lonely.  I find myself lingering on ‘where naive persistence meets Daliesque existence’.  It’s great in that it’s thought-provoking, provides an image (Persistence of Memory comes to mind where the granola bar is just as limp as the clocks dangling over tree branches),  and rhyming.  It does make me wonder whether the naive persistence yours (in thinking that you’re ever going to actually eat that granola bar) or is the naivety on the part of the granola bar, thinking that it will be something other than an un-collected insurance policy against starving to death. 

This was very well done and quite enjoyable, so thanks for taking on the challenge and coming up with something so clever and interesting (even if you have no good explanation for it.)  What is true is that I will never look at that granola bar in the bottom of my bag the same way again.

 

-Drew

Name: magemadi (Signed) · Date: 13 Mar 2022 01:44 AM · For: a nonet

Hi Melanie!

 

I don't really have a good response either to what I just read, but I think part of that is because of the title of this poem. :joy: I don't know that much about poetry or the different forms/styles of poetry, so your skill with it is very apparent to evoke such strange, mixed emotions from me with literally 31 words LOL. Like, I literally cleaned out my purse not two weeks ago but this poem made me want to check it again, just to make sure I didn't have a granola bar in there, so I hope you're happy! :P Also, having to work with syllable counts and not just word counts seems infinitely harder to me, so kudos to you for having a good idea of the language available to you to get the meaning across without sacrificing fun words like "daliesque". Great little poem!

 

Madi

RTTR

Name: PinsandKneazles (Signed) · Date: 19 Jan 2022 05:32 AM · For: a nonet

Oh hey, tag!

 

It's only 5.15am here and I've already learned two definitions today: nonet and daliesque. Both such lovely words, and 'nonetry' is such a simple yet effective way to convey a tale. I'll get to daliesque in a bit. But first, the granola bar. We all have one that we stashed into our handbags, either as a snack we meant to eat later, or because we bought it on a whim (ooh, new flavour!), or because we keep one in there for 'emergencies' (whatever form an emergency can take that a granola bar could be beneficial). And it normally winds its way to the bottom of the bag to lie there forgotten until it's been mashed into a million pieces by all the other 'stuff' that we, as women, feel the need to carry around with us everywhere. Largely because clothes designed for women tend to lack pockets (grr). If decent pockets existed, we'd have no need for handbags, and granola bars would not get crushed under the weight of a thousand artefacts.

 

I loved delving deeply into this poem and eking out hidden meanings, such as crushing oppression, suppression, loneliness, grudges...and then I read that you had no explanation for what you'd written, but that can't be true because is it possible to write something without any intention whatsoever?? (I might try it later). 

 

The construction of the poem intringued me; nine lines, each diminshing by one syllable, yet still managing to tell a story. So cleverly done, and with a wry twist of humour too. And daliesque - what a WORD - my bag is definitely a daliesque existence, probably most resembling 'The Persistence of Memory', but with a greater number of till receipts than shown in the painting.

 

Today, I'm going to rescue 'my' granola bar and eat it, in honour of this nonet. Thank you for introducing me to some wonderful words and this fascinating poem!

 

Meera <3

Author's Response:

"a greater number of till receipts than shown in the painting" hahaha yes. Me too. My purse is embarrassing.

 

I mean, I really can't recall how I came up with this initially based on the prompt, but I don't think you're wrong to be reading all those things into this. I did have some thoughts as I was writing it. Like all these items having been forgotten (and having the sentience to know they have been). Sort of guilting you with this realization. That granola bar you put in there so you can have a healthy snack available but you never eat it because the fries or candy bar always sound better (that's just me, anyway). The granola bar kind of represents a futile attempt at being disciplined, maybe, and instead it's just buried in this hellhole of random things you haven't bothered to clean out in 2 years.

 

I really need to go clean out my own purse right now actually. XD

 

And Daliesque was super fun to work in there. :D

 

Thank you for stopping by to read this silliness!

 

(Alsooooo I'm just throwing it out there since I have no idea whether you actually saw it in chapter updates -- but there IS a new chapter of Burrough House up.) :D

 

<3 Melanie

Name: inmyownlittlecorner (Signed) · Date: 05 Dec 2021 08:01 PM · For: a nonet

Hi Melanie! I’m here for your challenge entry review :D

 

I love this! Plus 1000 for the use of the word daliesque. Is there anything sadder or more absurd than the smashed up granola bar at the bottom of your purse that you forget about for months (or longer) and then find along with all the pits of paper and pens and everything that we thought was important, but obviously wasn’t that important because we let it get smashed up into a forlorn mess that we sigh over and throw away. I love how the granola bar is like the keeper of the memories, patiently waiting there to be noticed. I sort of feel like the granola bar is judging us too.

 

Excellent job!

 

 

Yours,

Noelle

Name: Oregonian (Signed) · Date: 20 May 2021 09:39 PM · For: a nonet

Oh, Melanie, I just loved the title of this nonet, and the poem itself did not disappoint!

 

I loved the idea of an old, overlooked item in the purse taking the initiative to talk to you, and not in a particularly sympathetic voice.  To be taken for granted, ignored, neglected for a very long time, downright forgotten about (!)

 

We can all relate so well to this moment, finding usable (or once usable) stuff way down in the bottom of the bag, along with all the tiny bits of un-identifiable lint and tiny rubbish that was stuffed back into the purse because there wasn't a trash can nearby.  Little items that are not quite trash but still not valuable unless we find ourselves stranded somewhere for a prolonged period of time, days, maybe, and then the antique granola bar is suddenly a treasure, a marvelous find.

 

I love that you have made this random little item sentient, and not only with the power of communication but also with a sense of ethics: shame on you for forgetting about me and all my fellow bits of Stuff down here in the dark depths of the purse.  Time to turn the purse upside down and empty it out!

 

Great job!

 

Vicki

Name: prideofprewett (Signed) · Date: 08 May 2021 01:06 AM · For: a nonet

This is pretty comical, like ngl. I probably wouldn't have known it was a granola bar speaking if you hadn't titled it as such, but like, no matter. I think the title is actually perfect. And adds levity to everything in the poem itself. The reference to Dali was nicely done. Even though admittedly I forgot what that word meant (we'll blame alcohol), but once I looked that shit up, I was like "suddenly this makes a whole lot of sense." And gosh, describing the shit at the bottom of your purse as "relics" and "the land that time forgotten," is pretty valid. I found an eyeliner sharpener (that I had been searching for, for months) in mine the other day, so like, you capture the concept of forgetting what exists in your purse very nicely in this.  

 

Nice job!

<3 Courtney 

Name: victoria_anne (Signed) · Date: 08 May 2021 12:28 AM · For: a nonet

Haha this is so sweet, and super clever with the syllables! Picturing a disgruntled granola bar speaking made this very entertaining :P