Reviews For Not quite a honeymoon


Name: WriteYourHeartOut (Signed) · Date: 27 Dec 2023 07:55 AM · For: Prologue - Sobremesa

Hello, hello! Very interesting opening chapter! I'm certainly intrigued by what this curse could be! Also, it's so odd to think of Remus trying to have a normal life at 23, during that in-between time of the first war with his friend's deaths/arrests and turning up to teach at Hogwarts. It's nice to think that maybe he found some happiness during those years, and it wasn't just all heartbreak and grief and struggle for him. I love your use of Italian, too, it made the scene feel so rich and lovely. The chapter is a great foundation for a story, because it raises a lot of questions, but provides no answers, so you want to keep going to find out what is happening and why! It's simple, but effective, and I think you did a good job, too, of capturing your prompt word. Well done!



Name: Cassius (Signed) · Date: 07 Aug 2023 03:37 PM · For: Prologue - Sobremesa

Hey Chiara, here from review tag!

 

So let's jump in, we have two couples, the respectives parents of our two young lovebirds. The setting feels so real, from the relaxed meal to the back-and-forth banter. Even if you're just jumping into the storyverse here, you feel like you know these characters. And having a Mediterreanean mother myself, I definetely know that vibe and you can really feel it here. 

So Remus and Chiara are off to Italy, sound slike it would be a relaxing romantic adventure, except for the fact that these two have an established track record of always getting in trouble. 

The way the news of the disapearance drops at the end was a very effective way of shifting the tone of the scene and leaving a hook that makes you want to keep reading and find out what happens next. Based on their parents' reactions, it seems to be onbrand for these two. 

 

Best,

James



Name: Pixileanin (Signed) · Date: 18 Jun 2023 12:54 PM · For: The feast of San Zeno

Hi there!  I'm all caught up to your last posted chapter of this story!

 

Ok, I love the tense dinner scene, especially the way you bring out the “clattering of cutlery against the plates” as the only sound. That’s Tense! And then the brothers just get into it, which is very Family of them, with everyone sitting around watching tempers rise. Sofia, wisely, keeps her rising temper to herself, though it can’t be easy, with all the hot heads she’s surrounded by. They probably just need something new to focus on, besides the rashness of the boys. I’m glad Sofie has Aunt Vittoria in her corner.


Ah, HAH! A dinner interruption by the Aurors! This is playing our very dramatically, and I LOVE that he’s all, “This will only take a minute,” and then spends way more than that going through the house while everyone stands around. I’m glad he came prepared with all the paperwork and the family was helpless to interfere. It showed a great deal of how this society works, the politics, and the hierarchy involved between the authorities and this proud family. 


So, I’m not privy to the endgame yet, which is good, because it keeps me guessing, but now knowing that the players are starting to doubt the plan sets me on edge. Of course things got complicated, as they do in any good story, and of course they have to be careful, now that the authorities are actively searching for something and getting closer.


And poor Remus! He can’t be enjoying this city, not when Chiara is still missing. How can he, when he’s in the exact spot where the upset started?? His dread is so real here, remembering the few days he spent in that jail, having that upset with the cramped spaces. The resemblance Chiara has to Juliet really is remarkable. It makes me think long and hard about what this plan is, and how it’s supposed to free the families from the curse. I’m not even sure at this point what the curse is really about. Maybe I wasn’t reading closely enough, but I think it has something to do with the ongoing feud… and love… and I really really hope that it doesn’t have anything to do with rituals involving blood, or Remus is going to truly lose his mind. 


AHH!! And Chiara is Right There!!! So okay, there’s something to do with the statue and the festival. Whatever their plans are, they are thwarted for now. I’m with Chiara. I have no idea what the plans are, or how it’s going to stop the feud. I hope Fabiano and Enea have it together, for everyone’s sake.


Vicolo Arcano sounds like the Italian version of Knockturn Alley, and I love Aunt Agnese too! Someone’s got to get to the bottom of this. Pick the card!! Yess!!!  Aww… okay. Danger, check. Success?  To be determined…


Another fun chapter!

 

Pix



Name: Pixileanin (Signed) · Date: 07 Jun 2023 01:56 AM · For: La gattara

Hello, I’m here for our swap, and also to get back to this fascinating story!


Remus is FREE!!! That is so relieving, and I love how you took some time to show what that would be like for him. I’m not sure he would call it a “nice day”, but it’s a better day than he’s had in a while. Knowing that Chiara is out there, knowing that she’s at least alive, makes it better, but she’s still OUT THERE SOMEWHERE, and oh my God, Remus, WHY do you have to mention the patronus to the authorities, they aren’t going to believe something so Dumbledore like that!!?!


That just shows how good of a guy Remus is. All he wants is to get Chiara back safely. I wish that everyone else there had the same mission. 


Oh, well, maybe not, since it would make for a very short story. 


I do love all of the scenery descriptions, really painting the scene with all things Italian. It makes me feel like I’m there, and also that I want to actually be there. 


I love how Silva and Anna are relentless and want to get to the bottom of things that the Aurors just aren’t helping with. I’m so sad that the Aurors either are not in a position to, or do not care to investigate beyond their typical means. I guess that Remus is relatively unimportant to them. But he’s important to ME, so I want to see things get resolved. I’d be jumping in with the moms, just to get things moving.


The cat lady was so fun, and naming her cat Romeo was fun too. I almost expected it to be an animagus, lol! But it’s more fun that she named it after the movie cat. Haha! Your twist on squibs and what makes a squib in Italy was also fun. I suppose if she was a Seer like a Muggle was a Seer… but then, are magical Seers considered different? I guess they would be, since they can do all the other magical things too. Hmm…


I’d be giving the Seer a hard time too, if I thought that she knew more than she was saying. Because she’s a Seer… which means she’s supposed to See things, right?


This was a fun read! Thanks for the swap!

 

Pix



Name: Pixileanin (Signed) · Date: 05 May 2023 12:58 AM · For: Night and morning

These hot-tempered brothers really can cause a scene after a few thrown insults. The tension leading up to the fighting was really well done. I am still tense, even after the fact. 


“All four Montagues and three Capulets were now engaged in a ruthless fight, no matter that three of them were secretly part of a resistance group that existed with the precise purpose of stopping such fights.”


Yeah, I’m keeping my eye on this. I guess they have to act out their parts so they don’t tip anyone off to the fact that they really don’t want to be fighting all the time. I bet it gets tiresome, and I’m glad some of them are going to try to change that. But man, that’s a lot of fighting history to… fight…


And whew! Tempers do fly! I love how you show Fabiano coming out of the fighting temperament and back to reality, how he’d truly lost his control and hadn’t realized how badly they had all wrecked the place… and each other.


I love in this story how you showcase the weary day-to-day of these characters like Dal Borgo. He seems like a good guy, competent at his job, even when he has to deal with rich families who can buy themselves pardons and such. He’s so bone-tired right now, and dealing with his boss is probably on the bottom of his “I want to do this right now” list. And yeah, from his perspective, arresting a werewolf and holding him seemed like the thing to do… except when said werewolf was important to diplomatic matters and got his boss involved. Eeek. He is not having a good day.


Ack, I know the old and wet scent well. And yes I agree, it hurts the nose! I’m so glad Chiara was able to send her patronus at one of Remus’s low points to bolster him up. He seemed so down and hopeless, and he really needed that lift. 


Your characters are so fun to read, and I found this whole chapter very engaging! Thanks for the swap!

 

Pix 



Name: Pixileanin (Signed) · Date: 18 Feb 2023 09:17 PM · For: Of trust, love and revolution

Hi! I’m climbing a mountain and coming back to your intriguing story with the Montagues and Capulets and WEREWOLVES! I love when a story ties an old story to a new story like you’re doing here.


Ah, Chiara can turn into a bird! But no more, I guess. I wonder how long she’s been in that cellar. She’s mentioned food appearing, so it’s been a long minute already. So many thoughts flit through her mind. Yeah, me too, Chiara. Let’s slap the smug man together, shall we?


Ah, haha yes. She IS an actress. Well played. 


I have a feeling we’re about to find out something super important here, what with the grand room and the assembly and everyone staring at her. Oh gosh! It’s a rebellion to a generations-old feud!  How juicy!!!


I love the airplane thing. It created a little moment of fluff in an otherwise tense chapter.

 

Pix



Name: Pixileanin (Signed) · Date: 12 Feb 2023 11:17 PM · For: New developments

Hello! I had to come back for another chapter to see what everyone was up to!


Fabiano seems super stressed. The mention of the Capulets grabbed my attention straight away, as well as the mention of Dal Borgo’s men, and he seems to have some regrets. I think he thinks he’s in trouble.


I am enjoying the Italian! I am reading it just as if I actually know what it means, and then I get to read the translation and say, “Hey, I knew that…” Which I don’t. I don’t know any Italian except for musical terms (because I’m a musician), but it’s fun to pretend, and the way that you’ve presented the dialogue, it lets me pretend that I’m reading a foreign language fluently. So thank you for that. ????


 Okay, so this is interesting. If there’s a Giulia, does that mean there’s a… no way!


Oh gosh! There is plotting afoot. I LOOOOVE plotting!!!


Oh poor Silvia! I’d be worried too, in a foreign country where my child (grown, though still…) is being held and his fiancee missing. Yeah, I don’t think I could eat at a time like that either. But wow,  I feel like I’m THERE, with all the cool descriptions. I have been to Italy once, and would love to go again. 


Ah, and Remus has to go through the whole story all over again, but this time for his mother, so it’s not any easier but at least he’s not as upset by it… except for the part where Chiara is missing. Argh! That’s a lot for anyone. And he just sits there not being able to do anything. It’d drive me insane!


Oh, and there’s a curse! You mentioned it earlier, but since I haven’t read the other story, this is a piece of it that gives me clues that the mothers know things that I don’t. I’m sure they will come to light accordingly. Curses!!! Those things can be nasty, and omg a werewolf and a psychopath!! And it’s not fictional. 


This is so cool!

 

Pix



Name: Pixileanin (Signed) · Date: 11 Feb 2023 03:15 PM · For: Prime suspect

Hello! I’m here for our swap, and since this is the story at the top of your AP, and also Story of the Month, I shall dive right in! 


After reading, I definitely need to combine chapters. I hope you don’t mind. ????


I love cake. I love apples and cinnamon too, so I was already tucked in at the table when you mentioned it. I am also hungry now. Thanks.


Ok, so the whole dinner thing was delightful! I am not familiar with the previous story, so I am going in blind. Clearly these people have a lot of affection for each other, as well as some history, and I’m glad they are all rooting for the young couple who should be on a lovely trip, except they’re not. And these people have to hear about it over the news. Oh dear!  


You did such a great job of the twist with this chapter. I have to read on to see what happens next, because it was SUCH a turn!!!


Jumping RIGHT INTO THE STORY HERE, and I love the getting down to business part of this!


Obviously, Remus is tired and stressed and doesn’t want to deal with Aurors questioning him multiple times like they do. Argh! And they’re holding him! I feel so bad for Remus!


I like the pluck of these women who have traveled to see about their children. I love the way Anna chattered so much that she made the security man hurry with checking them in. Great plan! And Silva, she’s definitely out of her element, having been gone for so many years, but I bet she has some inside information that will come in handy. 


And ooooH! A Note! I am intrigued. 


Also, this place, the Mezzaluna sounds very interesting. Italy’s version of Diagon Alley, or some such? Very cool. I love the small things happening in the background, the way that Dal Borgo notices one of the kids sneaking off as he’s talking to the mothers, the way that his partner just goes up to the bar during the investigation… it hints at a lot of movement in the background which I can’t wait to see up close and personal. I am glad that he offered to let them meet with Remus. It seems like he’s just following the book for this arrest. Without any further leads, it will be hard to do any other investigating. I hope something drops soon, for everyone’s sake.


This is certainly an intriguing setup for a story! Color me interested!


Pix

 



Name: PinsandKneazles (Signed) · Date: 29 Jan 2023 08:58 AM · For: The feast of San Zeno

Chiara!!! I see you've updated this story! And the plot thickens. I wanna know HOW the kidnap of Chiara is going to help the families reunite, and she seems to be going along with it for now so I'm guessing she knows more than is being let on, with Fabiano telling her not to ruin the whole operation?? It must have taken all her restraint not to run towards Remus - she must know how hurt and worried he is right now. 

 

I feel so bad for Sofia, in love with a forbidden person - the Montagues and Capulets are at it again - but not only is Giulia a Montague, as a woman does this union go against Sofia's father's traditionalism too? The family dynamics are both complex and fascinating, but what a tangled web has been woven; how will the separate threads unravel? I admire Sofia's restraint here, keeping her feelings contained in this moment. Lashing out would be pointless, much as she probably wants to.

 

Hmm. Dal Borgo's insistence that the Lupins and Mrs Nightingale stay out of all this makes me wonder what he's got to hide? He's not exactly doing a sterling job of uncovering this mystery - either he's a lousy auror or he's hiding something. I'm tempted to think he's just not very good at his job, but is there another cunning little twist to this story?

 

POOR REMUS :((( Some honeymoon he's having. First he's arrested, and then he's lost his wife. And she's SO CLOSE BY but he doesn't know that. Ugh, the tension is killing me!!

 

The ending to this chapter is ominous; Agnese's parting shots of 'try to be careful' makes me very suspicious that something is about to go horribly wrong with Sofia's plan...

 

Please don't leave us in suspense too much longer! Really enjoyed this chapter <3

 

M <3



Name: prideofprewett (Signed) · Date: 21 Jan 2023 09:16 PM · For: The feast of San Zeno

Hi Chiara! 

 

Here for a little review tag and also to catch up on this story that I see you've updated! Yay for me to get another chapter of this very compelling tale with Romeo/Juliet vibes. 

 

I know I probably mention this in every review, but I love the Italian! It really gives a lovely quality to this story that feels very in tune with your writing style. :) 

 

The family dynamics you present to us are complex. There's tension. Similar mistakes are being made (and not listened to by the patriarchy, so therefore, being made because of constraints placed on those making them). 

 

I do enjoy the consistent nods to Romeo & Juliet sprinkled throughout. In this chapter here, being the "that's the balcony," moment that Remus has when he's trying to recall where Chiara and him might have gone. 

 

Oh but Chiara can see him and knows he is near by! That ache was too real! And the bickering between her jailers...one of them is bound to defect and release her, right? I mean, they're sort of losing focus on the task at hand. Which, makes sense and makes them more interesting villains than if they were just pure evil, ya know?

 

Anyway, I was so delighted to check out this story again! I do hope you finish it this year and I look forward to seeing where it goes from here as well!

 

<3 Courtney



Name: quill2parchment (Signed) · Date: 19 Jan 2023 03:04 PM · For: The feast of San Zeno

I really enjoyed the way you wrote that family scene at the beginning. It very relateable. Like, obviously, I can't relate to what they're arguing about, but having the father getting after the boys, the sister poking at the brother, the brother snapping back at her, the aunt coming to her defense... yeah, that's all spot-on family drama dialogue lol 


It feels like the Aurors are finally on to something and my heart went racing, wondering if they were going to find any sort of helpful hints in there. They didn't, but I have the feeling they're going to continue piecing things together and getting closer to the truth. 


Ugh I just love Remus. He's such a good soul. The fact that he's not even angry about being unfairly imprisioned because he can understand their prespective is just so telling of his character. 


And little did he know that Chiara was so close! Ahhh!!! My heart ached for her. I can't imagine being at such short distance of him, knowing he must be hurting, wanting to go to him, and not being able to do so. 


Like her, I also have so many questions about this plan and how it's suppose to bring the families together. Even the main conspirators don't seem to be too sure of it or its success but I'm staying hopeful that everything works out for everyone involved. 


Thank you for updating this story. It was wonderful to get lost back in this wonderful world of yours. And thank you for the the swap opportunity. It's always such a pleasure<3


Love, Quilly. 



Name: RonsGirlFriday (Signed) · Date: 09 Jan 2023 09:18 AM · For: The feast of San Zeno

Hi Chiara, here for another swap! :D

 

This chapter was worth the wait! There's so much happening here. Once again I really do love your OC's and the family dynamics you've created. These feel like real arguments and tensions. And I really enjoy that the OC's feature in this story so heavily, and have their own scenes apart from the canon characters we know, so we get a richer view of this story -- especially as we're able to finally start seeing a little bit of what's really going on here.

 

History keeps repeating itself, not only with the feud between the Montagues and Capulets, but in their descendants again falling in love in defiance of it. And it looks like maybe, a few members of the Capulet family have had enough of this war? And they need Chiara for something, I don't know what, in order to end it. It's intriguing and surprising that Chiara is hiding with them willingly (sort of). I wonder what they could have said or done to induce her to participate, if it meant she had to disappear without a trace and leave Remus no information. It definitely doesn't sound like Chiara actually wants any part of it! (Maybe they did kidnap her, initially?)

 

I liked seeing Agnese again! And the use of her tarot readings to signal things to the reader about the likely outcome of the situation. It's a really good way of adding some more context while still keeping things mysterious. :)

 

So happy you updated this imaginative story!

 

<3 Melanie



Name: Oregonian (Signed) · Date: 09 Jan 2023 01:02 AM · For: The feast of San Zeno

Hi, Chiara!  Here is my review for the review swap, and it was worthwhile to read the entire story over again (it's not really that long -- a quick read) to review all the action and developments and get a good overall picture of what is going on.  And another chance to get all those young men straight!  

 

An interesting glimpse of Teodosio's family at the dinner table.  He's not a happy man.  His sons are brawling with the Capulets, the Aurors are suspecting him of being involved with the disappearance of the English actress and he has to submit to the humiliation of having his house searched, and his daughter is not making any steps towards finding a husband.

 

I was glad to see Aunt Agnese again.  I like her no-nonsense wisdom.  And somehow she already knows that Sofia is mixed up with the abduction of the English actress.  Can we also assume that Aunt Agnese knows about this resistance group of Montagues, Capulets, and concerned Veronese citizens that are somehow going to end the feud? 

 

Sofia says, "We have a plan," but it sounds as if the plan is vague and not well thought out.  Hardly foolproof.  We don't know what the plan is, but Enea says, "...San Zeno's feast is in four days; we only need to resist until then.  We'll get through this, one way or another."  So now we know that their plan has a four-day timeline.  Then we see the conspirators hiding in the patio of Juliet's House, waiting for an opportunity to get the the statue of Juliet (despite the crowd of tourists).  So now I have to wonder: what is so special about the statue?  Does it contain a secret compartment in which is hidden some extremely important object?  Or does it cover the opening to a tunnel leading to some extremely important place?

 

I notice that this one chapter, like all your chapters, is broken up into several discrete scenes (in this chapter, four scenes), so that the story skips along at a brisk pace.  You are juggling the points of view of many different characters, and I'm not sure who the main characters are (not that it matters).  Anna and Silvlia? Sofia and Giulia?    Sofia's brothers?  Giulia's brothers?  Even Chiara and Remus, although Remus hasn't had much of an active role in this story so far; Chiara is much more interesting.

 

I appreciate how you have transferred so much of the background and technology of the British wizarding world (which is the wizarding world we all learned first) to a different country, Italy, but with the basic structure still intact.    I feel so immersed in the Italian society and culture that it always comes as a surprise when a bit of wizarding culture pops up.  I think to myself, "Hey, wait! This thing isn't supposed to be here," and then I remember that this is a wizarding story.

 

Hopefully we will see another chapter soon.  :)

 

Vicki  <3

 



Name: inmyownlittlecorner (Signed) · Date: 07 Oct 2022 02:46 AM · For: Night and morning

Hi Chiara! I’m here to woo a Mummy :D

 

I really love what you’re doing with the magical world in Italy. I noticed your Author Note about how you see it as being much more fragmented than it is in the UK, since Italy has only been a unified country since 1861. I think that makes a lot of sense.

 

I feel bad for Fabiano at the beginning of this chapter. HIs guys night out is not going well, is it? (Side note, I love the name of the bar, it’s adorable0. At this point, I’m not sure if it’s better that the authorities caught them, or if it would have been better for the Montegues and Capulets to fight it out on their own :grimacing:

 

Dal Borgno is not having a good night either. First he’s dealing with the Montegues and Capulets, and then he’s getting talked down to by his boss about this potential International incident with Chiara and Remus. I loved the part about how Dal Borgno felt like a naughty child when he was called by his first name by his superior.

 

OMG, poor Remus!! I loved how you wrote him here. You captured how his mind is running around in circles tormenting him, how the cell is awful for his heightened wolf senses because of the smell, and even the MOSQUITO bothering him! Mosquitos are the WORST, just adding insult to injury here. And then, when he finally gets word from Chiara that she is (mostly) safe, he’s getting hauled out of his cell to talk to Dal Borgno.

 

I’m very curious to see how this all plays out. Remus about to talk to the authorities again, Chiara still trapped, and both their mothers turning the city upside down looking for Chiara :eyes:

 

Lovely job!

 

Yours,

Noelle



Name: quill2parchment (Signed) · Date: 26 Jun 2022 12:42 AM · For: La gattara

That was such a lovely moment between Remus and his mother. He felt safe in her hug. He felt at home. There's just something very relateable about that. After all, it doesn't matter how old you get, your mother's arms always remain a safe haven. This isn't true for everyone, sadly, but it appears to be true for Remus and that's beautiful to see. 


I don't know if I've said this before but I love Zanin. He's adorable. His little "I knew it!" was such a nice comic relief to a very tense moment. 


I love seeing Sylvia and Anna playing detectives. I can understand feeling like what the authorties are doing is not enough. After all, to an auror, it's another case, but to a mother, that missing person is her child and she'll do anything to find her. I was really weary of the man from the bar sending them to the cat lady. I kept thinking it was a trap, and I was so relieved to find that it was not. By the way, I adored the cat lady. She was so mysterious and just absolutely fantastic. 


Honestly, all of your OCs have been wonderful and I wouldn't at all mind being introduced to a million more. I can't wait to read an updated. I'm incredibly invested in this story. I totally understand that feeling of struggling to write but you've done an incredible job with this story. 


Thank you for the swap!


Love, Quilly.



Author's Response:

Hi, again, Quilly, my darling! <3

I'm so glad you liked that moment between Remus and his mum! Yes, you're never too old for a motherly hug, and your mother's arms will always be a safe haven! <3

Ahahah! Love Zanin, too! He's so pure, isn't he? And definitely the needed comic relief in that moment! <3

Anna and Silvia playing detectives are the best! :D An Auror would never care quite as much as a mother, right? ;) Oh, the man at the bar was just an old, nosy guy who liked to be seen as the one who knows things... :P Glad you liked the gattara, I do love her character! <3

So glad you are so invested in this story! Hopefully I'll find some time/inspiration to come back to it at some point!

Thank you so much for another lovely review! <3



Name: quill2parchment (Signed) · Date: 22 Jun 2022 11:07 PM · For: Night and morning

I loved the way you described the Asticello Blu! The music, the hard-to-breath air, the semidarkness - I can see why Fabiano wouldn't like it and why his younger brothers. It seems like the kind of place you think is cool when you are young and wanting to rebel a bit. It was really great to see the fight unfold (well not great - I'm not glad that they fought, just that you did a great job describing it) and the way the police came in at the end was just perfect. 


I am also really enjoying the way you brought in the international conflict that would arise from this. I can't think of an example right now, but I know there are many times when a tourist gets trouble abroad and it becomes this whole issue between their birth nation and their visiting nation.


Poor Remus! He was going half crazy with worry and having to add the full moon to that - I hadn't even thought about that and the idea instantly made me anxious for him. Chaira was so clever to think of sending her patronus to him though. I really like how she doesn't ever give up. 


I wonder if Remus and Dal Borgo will work together... ? 


I'm really loving all the mystery - and I LOVE every time you add an endnote that gives us those extra pieces of information, like how wizarding Italy would be constructed/organized. I'm already eagerly anticipating the next chapter! Luckily, I still have one posted to go!


Love, Quilly. 



Author's Response:

Hi again, Quilly! :D

So happy you liked the description of the Asticello Blu! :D Yes, it is the kind of place you'd enjoy when you're younger and wanting to rebel a bit... definitely not the kind of place a person like Fabiano would enjoy... :P I'm so glad you also liked the way I wrote the fight (action is hard, so I'm glad that it worked) and the Aurors' intervention ;)

Yes, it does happen when a tourist gets in trouble abroad... glad you liked that aspect!

Poor Remus, indeed... worry is his middle name, and in this situation it would all be accentuated... and no, if he were still in prison when the full moon came it probably wouldn't be pretty... :/ But yay for Chiara for managing to contact him with the Patronus! Brave, clever girl! ;)

Not sure if Remus and Dal Borgo will work together... I don't think they really trust each other... but at least they're not completely against each other?

So glad you are enjoying the mystery, and my little historical notes and headcanons on wizarding Italy! :D

Thank you so much for another lovely review! <3



Name: quill2parchment (Signed) · Date: 18 Jun 2022 03:48 AM · For: Of trust, love and revolution

Chiara! I was so happy/relieved to see her but I felt so sorry for her too. I can only imaginer her desperation, not knowing why she was there or how long she was going to be kept in there or who had brought her. I have to say I admire her bravery and strength of character. While in there, she continues to try and find ways out of there. I might've been a puddle of tears in her place but she fights as hard to get out of there as people out of there are fighting to find her. 


I KNEW it was Primo even before they called his name JUST by the way he was talking/looking at her. It must've been daunting to go from not seeing anyone to seeing twenty people gathered! Oh but I LOVED the twist on Romeo and Juliet! I can totally see how their families would get tired of that stupid feud (really, guys, give it a rest and get along!) and want to rebel against all of that. I'm curious to see what role Chiara plays in all of this.


I ADORE Sofia and Giulia! Their love is so strong and genuine, and I feel for Giulia's frustation at not being able to show her love in public. 


Every chapter manages to make me more and more intrigue and the characters you are shaping up are incredible!


Thank you for swapping with me <3


Love, Quilly. 



Author's Response:

Hi, Quilly! <3

So happy you're happy to finally meet Chiara! :) Yes, poor thing... what a desperate situation, am I right? But like the true Gryffindor she is, she doesn't surrender to the desperation and fights to find a way out! ;)

Of course it was Primo, he has that attitude, right? :P Yeah, must be daunting... happy you liked the twist on Romeo and Juliet and the idea of the rebellion (a centuries-long feud can get old... :P) We'll see what Chiara's role will be (if I ever feel inspired enough to finish this fic...)

So glad you liked Giulia and Sofia! <3 They are adorable, aren't they? And yes, it must be so frustrating having to hide their love... :/

So glad you are enjoying the story and my characters! Thank you so much for the lovely review! <3



Name: quill2parchment (Signed) · Date: 16 Jun 2022 09:05 PM · For: New developments

Here for part two of our swap <3


Why don't I like/trust Primo? 1) Because he seems a bit condescending when he calls Fabiano 'little brother' 2) Because he's homophobic 3.) Because he thinks Remus being imprisioned is a good thing even though he seems to know that he's innocent. 


Fabiano, Giulia, and Sofia, on the other hand, I'm liking - but they all seem to be holding secrets so I don't one hundred perecent trust them either. Honestly though, at this point, can we trust anyone?! And who is there guest? Is it Chiara? IS IT? okay, I'll calm down. lol


Anna's reaction surprised me. At first, she seemed a little too optimistic and then, with Remus, she seemed to not entirely trust him. It seems to me that's something happened before, with the curse, and it's all somehow tied to Romeo (who was a werewolf?! how cool!!!) and Juliet. Also - Juliet is descendent of Romeo and Juliet - so does that mean they had children together?


I'm loving the heightened sense of mystery and the characters that are we are getting to meet (not to mention the lovely descriptions of Verona). I'll soon be back for more, dear.


Love, Quilly.



Author's Response:

Hi again! :D

No worries, I don't like Primo either. For the reasons you listed and then a couple more. :P

Fabiano, Giulia and Sofia are definitely more likeable, even if not fully trustworthy... :P Is Chiara their guest? Maybe? (You already know the answer to this one, too :P)

I think Anna's optimism was more to lift Silvia's and her own spirit... as for the way she talked to Remus... yes, there is a backstory there. And she does love Remus, but right now she's just very worked up about Chiara's disappearence and lashing out a little. And Remus was responsible of Chiara's disappearence the previous time, although unwillingly... I don't remember if you read TLATN and if you did to which point, so I'm not sure if you know what I'm talking about...

Yes, Romeo and Juliet had children together, and Chiara is their descendant. And the curse is linked to them. Again, you might know more if you've been reading TLATN as well ;)

So glad you are enjoying the mystery and the characters, and the descriptions of Verona! Thank you so much for the lovely review! <3



Name: quill2parchment (Signed) · Date: 16 Jun 2022 02:41 AM · For: Prime suspect

Hi Chiara! Here for part one of our swap <3


Oh wow, this story really picked up speed in no time at all, and now we're full on trying to solve this mystery. 


I feel absolutely terrible for Remus. It's devasting enough that his fiance has disapppeared, but he also has to now deal with being treated like the prime suspect and, honestly, the way they're speaking to him, they're treating him more like a convicted criminal than a mere suspect. It sort of makes sene - the boyfriend/husband is always the prime suspect in these cases. However, it doesn't seem fair that they're holding them while they investigate. 


I love that the mothers spring into action and go search for them. It does feel like a very motherly thing to do. Of course they can't just sit back and relax while their children are going through all of this. 


I'm very curious to know more about this feud. Also, what does it matter that Chiara looks like Juliet? Did they confuse the two? Ah, so many theories running through my head! 


Love, Quilly. 



Author's Response:

Hi again! <3

Straight into the action, am I right? :P What can I say, I'm not the most patient of writers... :P

Poor Remus... it is very unfair that he's been held when he's just a suspect (it's unfair that they are suspecting my sweet boy in the first place...) but he's the most logical culprit and the Aurors don't really have any leads, and he's a foreigner and he could very easily attempt to escape, so... but yeah, so unfair and sad... :/

Of course the mothers are coming to the rescue! That's what mothers do, right? <3

Again, you already have the answers to those questions ;)

Thank you so much for another lovely review! <3



Name: quill2parchment (Signed) · Date: 14 Jun 2022 03:12 AM · For: Prologue - Sobremesa

Hi Chiara, here for some tag :) 


Spanish is my native language so I was really intrigued by the title of this chapter. I think you did an excellent job showcasing the essence of the word. It's really more of a feeling than it is a specific thing and we see this all throughout the chapter. There's the obligatory feeling of being too full and then that laid back conversation between the people you shared a meal with. 


I also really enjoyed all the italian dialogue. I don't speak the language but I adore hearing it and I had a lot of fun trying to make it out before reading your translations. It's not so different from Spanish so I was able to get very close to the accurate translation. 


There's a curse? Oh my. And "In theory, no.." is not at all a reassuring answer. 


That feels like an awful way to find out that you're daughter has disappeared. I want to know what's happened to her, what's happening with Remus, what's with the curse, is the curse even a part of that disappearance? Although I'm sure all questions will be answered in due time. 


This was a great start and I can't wait to dive into this story some more! <3


Love, Quilly.



Author's Response:

Hi, Quilly! <3 <3 <3

I'm glad you feel I captured the feel of the word right. We don't have a similar word in Italian, but the mood is one that we know quite well, lol! :P

I'm so glad you enjoyed the Italian dialogue as well! :D I have a lot of fun including it! And yes, Spanish is close enough, so I'm sure you could guess it pretty well ;) (I don't know any Spanish, except for very few words, mostly from salsa songs :P, but I can get the general meaning if I happen to read it)

There was a curse, yeah... no, "in theory" is not comforting... :P

Not a great way to learn the news, no... but I suppose it wouldn't be nice in any other way either... and you already know the answers to most of those questions, right? ;)

Thank you so much for the great review, my dear! <3



Name: Oregonian (Signed) · Date: 13 Jun 2022 09:00 PM · For: La gattara

Hi, Chiara!

 

Here for our Review Swap.  First let me say that you can introduce as many OCs as you would like, if they are all as interesting and attractive as Agnese Capuleti, the old 'cat lady.'  She states she is a seer, and that certainly appears to be true, since she can predict what Anna and Silvia are thinking before they say it.  But it is interesting that Anna is unwilling to accept the old woman's divination that the disappearance of Chiara is a part of the destiny of all of them, that Chiara will reveal herelf when she is ready to, at the right time, and that "fate is on our side, you only need to be patient."

 

Obviously Anna doesn't want to wait patiently.  Her motto seems to be "Don't just stand there, do something!"  What will that thing be?  And will she just make matters worse by trying to interfere with the predestined course of events?  And is tired, weepy Remus going to be able to contribute anything?

 

Speaking of Remus, he still seems to be in a daze, even after he's been released from prison.  He can't communicate effectively with the Head Auror, such that Dal Borgo says, "Are you trying to make me regret releasing you, Mr. Lupn?" and Anna has to step in and explain what Remus was meaning to say.  And while Chiara's patronus-message was not heavy on specific facts, Remus can't even retell the whole message; he omits mentioning that the captors gave Chiara her wand back.  Not exactly the Man of Steel at the present moment.

 

So Anna thinks that she can do the detective work herself, and she starts by chatting up the young bartender at the hotel, but the mysterious beer-drinking man at the bar is the only one who can give her any hints and who directs the women to the old cat lady.  I'm sure we'll find out later who this mysterious OC is.  I sense that he's not a member of either of the two feuding families, but he certainly seems to have some inside knowledge.

 

I liked your description of Vicolo Arcano.  I can envision it like some of the extremely narrow medieval streets I saw in the south of France, not even wide enough for one small European car to drive through, barely wide enough for one person with a donkey or a wheelbarrow, or two people walking side by side.  I always wondered why the people of those times built such extremely narrow streets.  I had to smile when I read in your end notes where you reassured us that Vicolo Arcano was not a real street in Verona! :)

 

An enjoyable chapter, and I am eager to find out what Anna does next (or should I say what she gets mixed up in?)

 

Thank you for the review swap.  Now you really have to write more Honeymon, or I shall be forced to read fluff!

 

Vicki



Author's Response:

Hi, Vicki!

Thank you for coming back! :D

Ah, I'm so glad you liked Agnese! There are way too much OCs in this story, but it's good to know that you don't mind and that you are enjoying them! :P

And yes, Agnese is an interesting character... a disowned Capulet who lives in a bad neighbourhood surrounded by stray cats... a Squib but also a Seer... am I right?

Anna is a practical woman, and one who doesn't like to just sit and wait. And the sort who would be sceptical of divination in general. So, no, she doesn't particularly like Agnese and her card reading...

Poor Remus has been through so much and he's just exahusted at this point. I don't think he was ever a man of steel, especially not when he was younger... I've always thought of him as a very sensitive person, and yes, he tries to be strong and keep it together, but life is so often so harsh to him, and sometimes it just becomes too much.

Can I be honest? I wasn't thinking much of the beer drinking man... he's just some old guy who enjoys being nosy, and we know that the Montagues and Capulets would be a great source of gossip for the wizarding community in Verona... :P But who knows, maybe he'll have a bigger role later... sometimes my brain makes strange decisions...

Glad you liked the descriptions of Vicolo Arcano. Yes, definitely one of those extremely narrow streets.

Thank you so much for another great review! :D



Name: Oregonian (Signed) · Date: 09 Jun 2022 08:22 PM · For: Night and morning

Hi, Chiara!  Here's the second review that I promised you for one review on Chapter 11 of The Crofter and The Snake.  I think the word counts are about equal. :)

 

I very much liked the fight scene in the discopub between the young men of the Montagues andd those of the Capulets.  Even though the numbers weren't even (four against three), the fight seemed like a standoff.  A good illustration of what the family feud was like, and what the people are up against who are hoping to put an end to this animosity.

 

I also liked where you described the Montague boys with single words: Primo's arrogance, Luca's rebelliousness, Fabiano's pedantry, and Andrea's accommodation & reasonableness.  It helps me to keep them straight and recognize how they are behaving.

 

Poor Dal Borgo -- he's trying hard to solve the mystery of the English actress's disappearance, and all this pressure from Head Auror Michele Ferrario isn't helping.  Does Ferrario think he can get results simply by demanding them?  He's just passing on the pressure he's getting from Scrimgeour, who also thinks that he can get results simply by demanding them.  Good luck, guys.

 

I was surprised when Chiara was apparently able to send a Patronus to Remus.  Good that she was able to reassure him that she was alive and not harmed, but too bad that she can't tell him the location of the place where she's being held.  That's one of the problems with sending messages by Patronus--the Patronus doesn't last long and can't deliver a very long message.  But she says that her captors have given her wand back to her, which suggests to me that they have disclosed to her what they need her to do, and that she has agreed to do it (or at least pretends to agree.)

 

Poor Remus obviously has no idea what's going on.  His girlfriend disappears, he gets arrested and thrown into prison, he gets released the next day, no explanation given to him for any of this.  I can see that it will take rather a while for this plot to be fully revealed!

 

An enjoyable story, fast pace, lots of mystery, original and well-drawn characters, appealing setting, what more could I ask?  Good job.

 

Vicki



Author's Response:

Hi again, Vicki! :D

Glad you liked the fight scene! Action isn't the easiest thing to write for me, so I'm glad it was effective and that it gave a good idea of what the feud was like.

I'm also glad you liked the Montague boys and their different characteristics! :)

Poor Dal Borgo, indeed... and yeah, sometimes bosses tend to think that they can get results just by demanding them... it doesn't really work that way, though, does it?

Yes, now Remus knows that Chiara is unharmed, at least! <3 Yeah, you can't deliver very detailed messages through Patronus, and Chiara was doing it secretly, so she didn't have much time... but yeah, she has agreed to help them, although she isn't very enthusiastic about it...

And yes, poor Remus must be so confused by everything that's been happening in such a short time... :/

So happy you are enjoying the story so far! :D

Thank you so much for another great review!

Chiara



Name: Oregonian (Signed) · Date: 08 Jun 2022 03:21 AM · For: Of trust, love and revolution

Hi, Chiara!  Here for our review swap.

 

I liked how you opened this chapter with such a dramatic change of scene, a cellar dungeon, so different from the Italian-architecture scenes of old Verona.  At least it's good to know that our heroine is not dead  I imagine that Remus and the two mothers have been worrying about this, that her body would turn up somewhere in an alley or a river.

 

The scene in the drawing room was surprising, with Guilia acting as the host of the meeting.  I wondered if she was really the driving force behind this group of Montagues, Capulets, and others, who are trying to end the feud, or if she was merely assigned to play this role at this meeting with Chiara.  I suppose I'll find out. You end this scene with Giulia saying to Chiara, "...And now that you're here, I think we could use your help."  I'm not sure Chiara has a choice in the matter.  Doubtless, in the narrative world, the conversation went on from there, with Chiara asking what kind of help they thought they were going to get from her, and Giulia answering in some fashion, but of course you are not telling us any of that right now!

 

The final scene of this chapter was surprising also, because Sophia's rremarks about being scared and worrying about going to jail make it sound as if what was originally just a light-hearted, clever 'caper' is turning into something much more serious and dangerous.  What makes Giulia (if indeed she is the mastermind of this plan) think that she can put an end to a feud that has been going on for centuries and involves so many people?  I'm thinking with my Muggle brain now, remembering how in real life, groups of people can harbor hatred for each other which is more deep-seated that a magical curse that can be lifted with the wave of a wand.  Reconciliation can take a very long time.

 

Very interesting developments here, and interesting Italian characters.  Good job!

 

Vicki



Author's Response:

Hi again, Vicki! Thank you so much for coming back again! <3

Glad you enjoyed the sudden change of scenery! :) Poor Chiara... but yeah, at least she's not dead! ;)

Giulia and Sofia are the leaders and masterminds of the rebellion. And no, Chiara doesn't have much choice on the matter... obviously the conversation went on after that, but all things in due time, right? ;)

Things did start as a sort of fun "caper" and then grew more serious... and yes, it is going to take a long time before the two families will get to a full reconciliation, but maybe Giulia's plan can put the basis for it? We'll see if/how it'll all work. ;)

Thank you so much for another great review, so glad you found the chapter interesting! :D

Snowball hug,

Chiara



Name: Oregonian (Signed) · Date: 06 Jun 2022 10:36 PM · For: New developments

Hi, Chiara.  I'm here for our review swap.  I have decided to review this longer story of yours instead of one of the short fluff pieces because that will be more equal if you decide to review chapters of The Crofter and The Snake, don't you think?

 

I love the description of the town of Verona, with the Renaissance Mediterranean architecture.  I spent some time in Provence, in the cities of Aix-en-Provence and Avignon, and the countryside surrounding them, seeing the still-occupied buildings dating from the fifteenth and sixteenth centuries, and the unbelivably narrow streets that wove around with no overall pattern in the medieval centers of the towns.  Verona must be something like that, so as I read your chapters (all that you have written so far), the scenes spring to life in my mind's eye.  (My son lived in Italy for a while, in 1996-1997, and he went to Verona to take a college entrance exam, and I think he visited Juliet's house.)

 

I very much liked the detail that the ancestral house of the Montague family had been abandoned by the Montague descendants in favor of more modern and comfortable accommodations, but that the old house, unoccupied and untended for so long, had still remained in fairly good condition, due, no doubt, to the mild climate of Verona where the weather is less harsh than it is in more northern locations.

 

I love how you have given us the dialogue in both Italian and English.  Not only does the Italian dialogue really heighten the flavor of the story, but it is fun to try to translate as much as I can of it, based on cognates from French and Spanish.

 

Your plot is becoming steadily more complicated.  In this chapter you seem to be saying that the mysterious unknown person or persons who kidnapped Chiara are the Montague family, but what they want with Chiara is not at all clear by the end of this chapter.  It is good that Remus is granted a jailhouse visit by his mother and Mrs. Nightingale, but this visit must have been dissatisfying for them all.  They really didn't get any new information.  They are all still completely in the dark.

 

I am enjoying this story very much, and the opportunity to leave Hogwarts for a little while and see a new location.  Thank you for writing.  Great story so far!

 

Vicki



Author's Response:

Hi, Vicki! :)

Here to try to catch up a little with my way too long unanswered reviews list... sorry for the belated reply and thank you so much for the lovely review! <3

I'm very happy you decided to pick this story! I really need to get back to it soon... :P Glad you enjoyed my descriptions of Verona! It's one of my favourite cities in absolute... I suppose many medieval centers of European cities tend to be similar, although with their specific characteristics, so I suppose what you were picturing was pretty faithful ;)

So glad you liked the Italian dialogue, too. I did the same in TLATN (although Italian is much rarer in that story) and I enjoyed it, so I decided to do the same here :P It's always fun to try to figure out the meaning when there are different languages in a fic, isn't it? :D

Well, some of the questions you have are answered in the later chapters, so you already know (although the precise purpose of Chiara's kidnapping is still not precisely clear, I guess... :P) Poor Remus is having such a rough time... it is a small comfort that his mum and Anna Nightingale could visit him in prison... yeah, it wasn't particularly productive, but at least Remus knows that there's someone on his side out there! <3

So glad you enjoyed the fic so far, and the change of scenery! Thank you so much for the lovely review! <3



Name: Crimson Quill (Signed) · Date: 20 Mar 2022 05:12 PM · For: Night and morning

 

hello chi,

 

here for the galazy reviewing event :)

 

i love how you set the scene in your first section, the imagery and atmosphere of the nightclub is so cool and very vivid. you can obviously tell quite a bit of the family dynamics here, you've really build upon that to give a better idea of who this family is. the fighting was very dramatic which I really enjoyed. it showed the depth of the fund in a really visual way! then the police burst in! omg!

 

i'm feeling a bit sorry for del borgo who seems so desperate to solve the case and get something on the two families that he is literally just falling asleep on the job. trying to make something stick for them.  Ferrario is such a boss! like his entrance was amazing, poor del borgo again getting told off but tbh he did arrest remus for no reason. I love the pretty pretty imagery of chiara as the bird giving him a message, yay! she's alive! now go get your girl, remus!

 

Abbi xx

 



Author's Response:

Hi again, Abbi! <3

I'm so glad you liked the atmosphere of the pub and the relationship/characterization of the brothers and the Montague/Capulet fight! It was very dramatic, yes, but that's the whole point of feuds, isn't it? :P And yes, of course the police had to intervene to cut it off... :P

Poor Dal Borgo, he's so exhausted and frustrated... :/ So glad you liked Ferrario and the way they interacted! (Yes, Ferrario was pretty harsh, but Dal Borgo deserved it for the way he treated Remus... :P) I'm so glad you liked Chiara's Patronus! Yes, now Remus is finally free and can do something! <3

Thank you so much for another great review and for sticking with this story! <3



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