Name: Stella Blue (Signed) · Date: 06 Aug 2018 11:44 PM · For: Traitor

Hi again :D

This was so well done. I really liked seeing that chaotic day at the Ministry from another POV - it's fun to see canon events pop up because it really ties the story back in, adds background and makes it richer. I think that's why I like Hogwarts era stuff so much.

I really liked the conversation with Umbridge in this chapter - once again she is perfectly in character as she does her act of "oh, I'm sorry, I was just bragging about my important Ministry position and trying to see your reaction about Muggle-borns". Ettie played it well though!

I was really hoping Ettie would have something to do with Mary Cattermole's trial, and I was not disappointed! I love how at the beginning of all the commotion, she just wanted it all to go away, and kept reading boring Floo transcripts haha. I love that she took a stand and decided to help Reg out!

The last few paragraphs were really great too, how she's still wondering what she's doing, but deep down she knows she did the right thing. It's just a hint of how Marietta is beginning to change - or at least, hope that she might do so in the future. I think after an experience like this, she can't easily go back to how she was before, even if she doesn't get found out and stays safe and sound. She'll want to do something again.

I only wish it had been longer, for example if you decide to add a fourth chapter, that could be the one in which Marietta spends her next boring day at work instead sewing a bright-coloured superhero jumpsuit, and then spends the following months saving people from Death Eaters, changing the world and making it a brighter place. :P Or not. Anyway, I really loved reading this story, teh, fantastic job on it!!! ♥♥

Name: Stella Blue (Signed) · Date: 06 Aug 2018 11:42 PM · For: Sneak

Hey! Just saw this was all transferred over now so I'm moving a couple of reviews as well :)

 

This was a lovely chapter! Ettie's forwardness is quite amusing, particularly with Reg because he has no idea how to react to it, haha. Poor guy. I thought it was sweet that she gave him coffee, and wanted to meet with him after work. She seems quite desperate for a friend, since she can't really trust anyone where she works, and even her old friends like Cho don't associate with her anymore.

You write Umbridge really well! :p She was delightfully awful in this, you've written her mannerisms perfectly and I appreciated Ettie's discomfort with being there but at the same time her desperation to stay at her job. I am not surprised that Umbridge is the type to prefer horrifically sugary tea - how perfect to go with those pink cups and kitten-patterned tea plates.

I liked the contrast between that meeting with Umbridge, and the following meeting with Reg at the Leaky Cauldron (of all places!) At first it was just kind of funny, their awkwardness, but then as it got into the conversation about Juniper Swift, and what might be about to happen with Mary Cattermole, it's evident that Ettie is really unsure where she stands, afraid to commit to any one side but regrets her aid to the Ministry's capture of Swift. I can't really blame her though, considering how she got her job and what happens if she makes a commitment to one side.

I really loved this chapter! On to read the last one now :D

Name: nott theodore (Signed) · Date: 12 Jun 2017 01:31 PM · For: Rat

Transferred from HPFF

 

Hi teh!

Yay! Marietta Edgecombe! If I'd have realised that you'd written a story about her I'd have been over here reading it much sooner because she's one of the characters from the series who really interests me. I've always wondered why she really ratted the DA out and what she did during the war especially. This was a great first chapter of the story!

I can definitely see Marietta in some sort of position like this. It might seem mundane and boring but the fact that she's got a position at the Ministry at all does show that she's got the right connections and her family are on the 'right' side during this. It's really interesting to think that there are other people like Umbridge, who'll not only carry on with their jobs but actively persecute Muggle-borns because it gives them a better position in society and within the Ministry. When I think that Marietta's got that sort of background I'm not so surprised that she did what she did originally.

I loved the idea of her listening into the Floo Network and having to transcribe conversations that people are having when they use it. I'm sure the Ministry might once in a while pick up something useful for them, but a lot of it must be boring gossip as you showed with the three witches in the beginning section. It made me laugh that Ettie knew their names and has obviously had to listen to them a lot :P I also love the idea of someone sending the Decoy Detonator (I think that's what it was?) through the Floo network as if they know that there's someone there listening to it!

It was great that you used the 'SNEAK' curse that Hermione put on the parchment and showed the way that it's still affecting Ettie even now. I can imagine she wouldn't want to forgive her for it, it's not a nice thing to live with! But I love stories like this one, which take the tiny details we do know about a character and manage to create a whole story out of it.

I really enjoyed reading the section with Ettie meeting Cho and Cho's obvious reluctance to spend time with her. Ettie's so wrapped up in what she's doing at the moment that she can't see how life might be different from other people and I can understand why Cho wouldn't want to spend time with her - Ettie seems like quite a judgmental person. I don't think her comments on the fact that Cho was working in a Muggle optician's were really out of concern for her friend's safety! That rat part at the end was kind of disgusting but I liked the way that it tied in with the chapter title and maybe gave Ettie a bit of a shock. I want her to pull through and do something for the right side, but I can see her going both ways at this point!

Sian :)    

Name: Dojh167 (Signed) · Date: 07 May 2017 01:50 PM · For: Rat

Transferred from HPFF

 

Hufflepuff CtF Review

I was going to be whiney about reading your long chapters (cause I’m a scaredy cat with low endurance) but this story has actually been on my reading list for years, so I’m glad his event i making me finally read it =)

Omg who in the world rehashes chess games played in pubs 25 year later

I am always creeped out by surveillance state things, and while I hadn’t considered thi for the wizarding world’s floo network before, I certainly believe it.

Haha, fartsmoke. I did not expect that.

It didn’t occur to me that Marietta would be old enough to work in the ministry by 1997, but it makes sense, especially in such a thankless position.

Wait, is this the real Reg Cattermole, or Ron polyjuicing as him? That would explain his peculiar behavior. Ased on his dialogue it doesn’t really look like that’s the case though.

I’m really curious about what Juniper Swift did that makes her considered a traitor. With the state of the ministry right now, it’s hard to say if they’re targeting Death Eater sympathizers of OotP sympathizers.

I wonder if Marietta started her job before or after the ministry takeover. Did the surveillance exist to a similar degree before that?

Yikes at getting a recommendation from Dolores Umbridge. Welp, at least Marietta got something positive out of betraying her friends? I find it notable that Umbridge rewarded her that much, instead of punishing her for being part of the DA in the first place.

Oh, I had totally blanked that Marietta would still have the SNEAK on her face/wore a balaclava.

I’m confused by the ending I thought that the owl would be delivering some kind of threat or something, but there’s no new information there. Unless perhaps someone will be targeting those people in the next chapter? I’ll have to come back to find out.

I think Marietta is a really interesting MC for this story. She is kind of somewhere between worlds here - she had initially sympathized with Harry, having joined the DA, but after betraying them and being assaulted by Hermione, you can’t blame her loyalties for having shifted. Still, I don’t imagine she truly shares the new regime’s views, although she goes along with the status quo and seems disgusted by the thought of mixing with muggles.

I’m really curious to find out what happens next!

Sam.

Name: Felpata_Lupin (Signed) · Date: 26 Apr 2017 02:38 AM · For: Rat

Hey, Teh! Here for CTF!

 

A Marietta story? I've never read one (I must admired I don't have particular admiration for her character...)

 

It's interesting to see how people lived during that time, you could feel the mistrust and fear among Ministry officers. Also I found the sabotations so intriguing, is someone from the Order or the DA behind it? I doubt it, I guess it's someone else, and I'm wondering who they might be.

 

Another thing that I found quite shocking was Marietta's job. It's pretty unsettling to think that they are all constantly spied, that every conversation is intercepted and registered, even if for the most part is uninteresting gossip and futile chat (I have to say, the part about the two old men discussing chess was hilarious). Anyway, it makes me think about how serious the privacy issue can be.

 

Aww, Reg... how adorable is he? I'll tell you, a lot. I loved his shyness and his innocence, the poor thing. I guess he must be so worried about everything going on and so scared for his wife...

 

Juniper Swift's story was interesting too (by the way, you had some great description of her office, and of everything else too) I wonder if there will be more references about her and the reasons for her death later on.

 

The meeting with Cho was interesting as well. It did feel quite strange to imagine Cho getting a Muggle job, but it gives the idea of how hard the times are. And I found a bit sad that she doesn't trust Marietta anymore, even if I can see why. Also, I felt bad about Marietta still suffering from Hermione's curse. I thought it wouldn't last that long, that was honestly a bit cruel.

 

Oh, Merlin. The ending. That was scary. It's such a evident treat and even if I can get the hate for the Muggleborn commission, I still feel bad for Marietta and her mother.

 

Great chapter, loved it!

 

Much love,

Chiara

Name: Stella Blue (Signed) · Date: 05 Feb 2017 06:22 PM · For: Rat

*Review transferred from HPFF*

 

For the 6th day of 12 Days of Reviewing.

Teh! I had meant to check out this story for a while now, so I'm glad this challenge has given me the opportunity to do so!

This is such an original idea. I love seeing this period of the war from a different perspective other than the Golden Trio's (I believe they were camping at the time, anyway) and what a cool part of the war to focus on. The descriptions of how creepy the Ministry got what with their spying on people's conversations gave the chapter a very 1984-esque feel (and that's a huge compliment, btw. 1984 is one of my favourite novels). I laughed at the part about the ladies gossiping though! Of course, the Ministry can't always pick up relevant things.

I could really identify with Ettie's hatred of her job. I've had a dull job like that too once - so I could really sympathise haha. You wrote her so well - I can see that although the job is dull and she is a little embarrassed about how she got the job, she is still very glad to have it.

I loved the appearance of Cho in here. This is exactly how I would imagine her to be after leaving Hogwarts - kind of trying to escape the wizarding world, still not over Cedric - and when she sees Marietta she's still kind of blaming her for being the reason Harry split up with Cho. And the end - ugh. That's awful... but not surprising. Poor Ettie :(

By the way, that's another strength you have as a writer. I don't even like Marietta, but you're able to write her as a wonderful protagonist and I'm really cheering for her! Mainly that she'll open her eyes and stand up for herself, but eh. Nice touch adding the bit about the SNEAK curse Hermione put on her. It was a little amusing in OotP, but here it's quite sad, as Ettie still has to deal with it and Hermione probably doesn't think about it at all anymore!

And Reg! Haha, I remember you commenting on my Reg fic that he was a bit of an idiot in yours, and yeah he does seem to be quite the bumbling and nervous guy. But I think that's partly because Marietta is intimidating. I mean, her mum is on the Muggle born Registration Commission, and Marietta herself is a rather forward and no-nonsense person, so I think you wrote Reg really well in character, especially considering who he's interacting with. Anyway, I liked that he showed up here. (one thing though, you refer to him as Reg before he actually introduces himself - it says Reg shifted from foot to foot, but then he tells her his name two paragraphs later, so maybe that should just say "the man" or something.)

Overall this is a wonderful chapter and I will favourite the story and definitely come back to read the rest! Lovely work teh :)