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Can I just say as a starting point, that I LOVE the fact that Percy has been trying to disguise a West Country accent for most of his life?! Ha! Bit snobbish of him, but it may be that he has 'wandering accent syndrome' where he subconsciously picks up the local accent and speaks in that way - I guess at school, it will be neutral, slightly affected maybe. It does have 'fitting in' advantages, but it's embarrassing when other people point it out! Lol. It's also hilarious that Percy is as plastered as he is!
I like the fact that this gift exchange/theft thing extends beyond blood family; it adds to the fun to have other non family members there too. What a bonkers but funny idea for a gift grab! Poor Percy seems to bear a lot of the brunt of gift loss, but if he'd have timed a steal correctly, he could have ended up with the gin or whisky. I guess he's too drunk to think straight! The jumper with the changing initial is such a great magical gift idea, and OMG I lol-ed at Harry giving away an autographed photo of himself, haha!! I also love all the clever naming of the band hello Nickelback/Sickleback) and the series of books that Percy was busy annihilating for inaccuracies, haha!!
Oh. And the poignant ending as they raise a glass to Fred. SOB
This was so much fun to read, even if you did kinda rip my heart out a bit at the end!
Meera x
hii melanie :3 here for the guerrilla gift tag :3 time for a livereview of a story i havent read yet :3
yeah that sounds like george alright
which festivity :eyes:
that also sounds like the weasley gang gotta give it to you
whos?
what a great greeting
that sounds like molly
what happened to get percy to be this way
like i said what
he got drunk bc he had the opportunity?
now im interested in the signs
and so is bill
george is living for it
why would he hide it
bill is so intrigued
even still how
i want to see lunas dress. also are those antlers like wilfs antlers in doctor who
oh that sounds like a pain to do with your hair but it must look great
what even are they talking about
loooooooool so nice of you george
loooooooool
im loving this
im loving the ron bashing in a friendly way and how ginny just doesnt get a break
cant hurt to repeat them
GOOD POINT LEE
omfg
and of course that escalates into a debate
oh the event is just the muggle surprise gift thingie
never tempt ginny
valid point gin
lol and another debate
valid point
of course on percys head
oh good god
that doesnt explain a thing
whats he doing
thats a v good thought audrey. safest for everyone
then what is it
plottwist
lol savage
huh interesting move
as what
id love that candle
ID BE HERMIONE
lol
that plant it would drive me insane
jumperrrrr
everyone is like dying of laughter poor percy
harry is so up to date
and of course ginny goes for it they must have a plan
oh dang
of course you cant george
what did he buy
valid move there audrey protect the hat
rude bill
rude charlie
oh my fucking god i should stop drinking something bc i just for fucks sake
that sounds like ginny
where tf did charlie come from bc romania is not halfway across the world
poor percy
lol course you do
im also laughing too damn hard
charlie come on youre breaking the game
savage
luna i love you
STEAL IT AUDREY
or not bc pouting percy omfg
damnit
how to entertain wizards. give them muggle kid toys
poor percy
lol the plant keeps on going
luna why
that sounds v much like ron
OH MY GOD A RUBIKS CUBE
lol obv he worries about that
blank ones what
poor arthur
why
also why
im w audrey
ron im w u those things are hard
LOL HARRY
lol
so much liquour
oh they gotta share?
omfg
what
no shit sherlock
omfg its too easy
oh thats sweet
lovely story!
Omfg. Melanie. This story was so fucking good. I mean it. It's already gone into my Favorites because it was just so phenomenal that I had to go back and add it before I even left my review.
This story made me laugh out loud. Several times. And I cannot quite explain to you how insanely rare that is. I almost never laugh at stories. But this one... *chef's kiss* perfection.
You started off so strong with Percy (who I hold a very special love for as a fellow rule-abiding nerd in school) being absolutely smashed and thrilled his kids are away for the night, especially Molly and her "psychological warfare" lmfao. And there were just so many amazing Percy moments! Like, "I beg your pardon, do I know you?" directly at. a. plant.
And then. Then. THE PORTRAIT OF HARRY. How much do I love that Harry has leaned into this ridiculous tradition and gone all out with massive, ornate portraits of himself? Because I fucking love it.
The conspiracy against Percy made me laugh so hard. I have three sisters, and that's something we'd absolutely do if we were drunk enough. Except one of us would almost certainly start taking it personally, which would mean things would devolve into chaos. So we'd have to pick carefully as to who we'd shamelessly bully. xD
AND SICKLEBACK! xD xD xD I am crying.
And then Percy's Definitely Not Harry Potter books. Omfg. "Jesus, what an air traffic nightmare, can you even imagine?" ... "It's inaccurate is what it is!" I'm obsessed. I'm so obsessed. I honestly laughed so hard I startled the cat.
But really, what tied this whole story together was the absolutely lovely ending. It was so touching. I wasn't prepared for it at all, but the tribute to Fred is absolutely something the Weasley siblings would do. It's a perfect moment to cap off the night. Because the White Erumpet Gift Exchange is absolute chaos and nonsense, and Fred would have loved it.
Fabulous, fabulous job with this story. I adored it so much and I can't wait to recommend it to other people. Your talent never ceases to amaze me.
xoxo,
Emily
*for the Fairyland review event*
Hi there!
Omg , this was amazing! I loved how you managed to write a whole group ensemble without making any of them feel forgotten. The idea was so much fun, and something I can totally see them doing and I loved the little traditions within this tradition, like Harry's picture and if it looks like liquor, it's not liquor. The whole fic was so funny and amusing but then the end was really quite touching, when they were saying the poem(?) and toasting to everyone and then Fred, it was really touching. I've never taken part in this, but you make it sound like a lot of fun!
A really great fic!
Shaza
Written for the winter in fairyland review event.
hellooo melanie, i am back on your ap, this time for the fairyland event!
i absolutely loved this. your first line is so good, and so fitting for george. i like that even after everything that happens, he's still organically himself, the life of the party, bringing all of his siblings & their respective partners under one roof, even if it's just for a night. it was so much fun to see the gang all together and that there were very strict rules. most of them, obviously, being that there were no kids allowed and no parents, letting them relax and be themselves. and ugh, how do you write the weasleys so freaking well??? i mean, you write well in general, but none of them seem to lose their voices -- not even percy, who's absolutely hilarious while he's drunk. and audrey was so sweet; i loved the line where she'd taken percy's wand hostage and tucked it up her sleeve because she just knew that if her husband still had his, it would be a disaster. that's true love and partnership there
this is the kind of christmas event all of these weasley-potters deserve. i honestly cannot express just how much fun this fic was, and getting to see bill and charlie was just :chefskiss: and the fact that charlie's the one who cheats, but as bill says, it just means he knows the rules and disregards them :P i love how seamlessley everyone fits together as this one group. the gift exchange was so much fun, and i love how no one was left out. there was a part where i was wondering where harry was, but then he showed up, and so did neville, and just. it's honestly so wholesome, melanie, i love it
OKAY BUT THEN YOU GOT ME IN THE FEELS AT THE END, GODDAMN. i mean, i applaud you for the shift in tone, and of course they would honor fred, and i should've known where the toast was going, BUT STILL. HERE, HAVE MY HEART, UGH
this was so good and so much fun! thanks for sharing your weasley wisdom with all of us ♥
So words cannot explain how much I love this! The first few lines put a smile on my face and it stayed there for the rest of the fic.
I love the way you like (drunk!) Percy and Audrey is a nice addition to the gang - it can be hard to write OCs with lots of beloved canon characters but I think she fits right in! It’s so hard to choose, but I have to say George is my favorite, he’s just so funny and the toast to Fred felt perfect. Just the right sad note, it matched the lighthearted tone with just a hint of bittersweet.
The gifts were so fun, I loved the rule about the best alcohol being shared with everyone, and Percy reading the Muggle books about “wizards.” Did you have to make a spreadsheet to keep track of all the gifts and what everyone was doing on their turn? I know I would have just to keep it all straight!
This is truly the perfect Christmas fic, thanks so much for posting!
**Written for the winter in fairyland review event**
Melanieeeee
this was so amazing! i was grinning and laughing throughout the whole thing. Your writing is such a treat, every single time, I swear. Your witty sense of humor and perfect characterization, however rbiefly mentioned, of the Weasleys and also other characters is brilliant. I have also never heard of this Christmas game and now I really want to try it, lol, it sounds super fun!
Omg drunk easley boys are my favorite, especially Percy. He was like this hyper child but also self-aware and it made me giggle so much. I think it was great how you made him the center piece of this ensemble, he is such a joy handled in your hands. Also, the atmosphere! There was just this absolute coziness breathing off of the whole story, and I love how it wrapped me in like a soft woollen scarf.
That ending was beautiful. I stopped breathing for a second. Yet it was wonderfully conveyed, because there was a hint of sadness, it was also the sadness of people who now remember with love rather than pain, and i loved that.
I really really loved this so very much. Thank you for sharing. You are a brilliant writer, I'm always super excited to read whatever you come up with. Keep going :)
Happy new year, friend! <3
Eli
Melanie, how is it that I have yet to stop laughing at this story? Dear heavens, this is absolutely hysterical! You are a master Weasley writer (well, a master writer in general) and this fic had me lol-ing during AND after!!!
Oh, BvB before I forget. ;)
This story has everything: inside jokes, hotly contested debates, alcohol, no kids, presents, a very drunk Percy, lololol.
Everything was knitted together as well as a Molly Weasley Christmas jumper, seriously. From beginning to end, every single word, every detail, was deliberate and drove the narrative of a close family upholding traditions, a moment in time of celebration and merriment and letting loose. It was delightful seeing a bit of an update with the Weasley clan, post-Potter series, all married and raising kids. I also loved exploring your head cannns of these characters, and you do such an incredible job of having this ensemble cast all have a unique voice--well done!
A few things that I liked: the prank on Percy (he's plastered and everyone is stealing from him, lol); Charlie "cheating" by choosing his own gift; Hermione stealing that candle and then no one dares steal from her (at least, that's the vibe I got. Respect, Hermione, respect), Harry not realizing that the first "P" of the jumper can stand for POTTER ("but that's not my initial" Pfffft. I suppose the savoir of the wizarding world doesn't need to think that much or know the alphabet, ahaha), Ginny getting the Harry portrait (lmao, what an incredible running joke), SICKLEBACK (see my tweets for more info), George loving how he and Angelina got the weirdest gifts, just everything.
And the ending is just... perfect. You spend the entire fic just laying on joke after joke, emphasizing the closeness and the joy of such a celebration, with a bit of nostalgia of holidays past (even for those of us who no longer enjoy them), and then WHAM. The toast to Fred.
Just like that, you add another layer of complexity to this humor and fluff. Yes, yes, yes, yes--I was curious to see if Fred would be mentioned at some point while reading this, and then to have him mentioned like that at the end... of course good times are had after the loss of a loved one, really, really good times at that. But that bittersweet ending just makes this story all the more meaningful, each joke that much more powerful. Look at them now, laughing, drinking, loving. What a way to honor Fred. What a way to end a story.
When I realized this would be a ‘Weasleys getting together’ fic I got really excited because the Weasley family chapters in Irrational are my favourites! You write their family dynamics (read: chaos and a lot of banter) so well, so this fic was an absolute joy to read! I was a little sad that Molly and Arthur weren’t at the party, but you cleverly managed to still weave them in this story by the kids mentioning them a couple of times, so no complaints here!
First off, drunk Percy! I love it because you show a totally different side of him that we normally don’t get to see, not even in Irrational. He’s so very adorable because he’s so sweet to Audrey! *heart eyes* Also, side note, I love all the words you chose (off his face, smashed, trollied…) to describe his state instead of just telling us he’s drunk.
Then what a brilliantly hilarious idea to let everyone steal Percy’s gift! I’m not drunk (unlike the Weasleys) reading this, but I really had to laugh out loud (or better, try really hard not to, because my family would have looked weirdly at me if they saw me laughing at my laptop).
All the gifts btw, so so funny as well! When Percy picked the second woolen jumper, I lost it like George and Ron! And omg Sickleback! Bril-li-ant!
And aaaw the ending! Made me very emotional! What a sweet way to remember Fred. I was kind of hoping you’d do something like that! It was the perfect way to end it.
So yeah, I really really loved this story! Again, your writing is so brilliant! You always nail the characters and their dialogues! You make me wish I was part of this family so badly!
Looking forward to reading more of your Weasley family in 2021!! Happy New Year!
Emma
Hi, Melanie, my dear! Here for your wishlist! Happy holidays! :D
You know I had to stop by here, right? A bit Weasley Christmas gift-exchange tradition? How could I skip that? :P (I've never heard about White Elephant Gift Exchange before, but I'm neither American nor particularly social, so hardly surprising... :P In any case, this is exactly the kind of chaotic tradition I can imagine the Weasley clan to have, and it was an absolute joy to read! :D)
I love how Percy was already drunk before the party even started... or at least before everyone was even there... :P and poor bloke... was the stealing every single gift he picked from him planned? Or was it just something that came up naturally during the game? Just wondering... :P
I loved the gifts, btw! Harry's framed, signed photograph was genius! And I also loved Neville's plant, and the Muggle book series, and the Weasley jumpers with the changing initial! Just brilliant! :P
As usual you captured allthe characters' personalities brilliantly! The dialogue was great and everything flowed so easily and was just so much fun! But what else could I expect from a Weasley queen such as you? ;)
The toast to Fred at the end gave a hint of bittersweetness to the piece, but it was so touching and I love that you included that! I just really loved everything about how you built this one-shot! So good! <3
Lovely, lovely job with this! Happy holidays once again and the hugest snowball hug ever!
Chiara
Hi, Melanie! Merry Christmas to you!
This is a great holiday story. I really, really love the scene you created. My friends and I have always done a New England variant of the White Elephant Exchange called the Yankee Swap. Similar in concept, except each person in sequence opens a new gift /before/ they decide whether to swap with someone else, so there's no sort of "chain swapping" on a single number. Also, no limit on how many times a gift can be swapped and at the end, Number 1 can swap with anyone. But the atmosphere is almost identical. Some people bring highly desirable gifts that get swapped multiple times and other people bring gag gifts that someone ends up getting stuck with. We enshrined a number of additional rules over the years. 1) No porn. 2) No fast food (after the year someone wrapped up a Triple Cheeseburger from Buzzy's in Boston). 3) No hiding your gift from view when someone later in the game is considering a swap. 4) If you get a gag clothing gift swapped to you, you must put it on if at all possible. 5) No leaving your gift at the host's house at the end of the night. (#5 was a rule the host tried to make. It is routinely violated.)
Anyhow, on with the story. Like I told you, I was hopelessly in love with this from the moment I read Percy’s off his face. Legit, there was no turning back from that moment. I knew this was going to be a wild ride.
I want to pause for a moment and say that I hope most of the grandchildren are at The Burrow. That sounds like a very different but equally fun night in its own right. It appears that Molly and Lucy are with Audrey's parents, but I hope the rest of them are at the Burrow.
“ ‘Zackly!” was the enthusiastic response from Percy, who for the past half hour had been lapsing into the West Country diction he’d spent the better part of his life trying to hide. -- Aww... I can totally imagine Percy being this way, and I can also imagine the odd sort of comfort and relief that he experiences from lapsing back into his native tongue. Also from being drunk.
Maybe it's bad to say, but I'm also kind of glad that Neville and Luna are at the party solo. Their significant others... it just wouldn't fit. Lee, on the other hand, seems to have found a real keeper.
Aha, I see you've slipped in a bit of your world-building from Percy's relationship with his elder daughter. I don't know if it even counts as psychological warfare coming from a teenage girl. It's just quasi-random emotional turmoil, but I can see how it would seem to Percy that there's a coordinated plan behind it. Regardless, I like how you tie your different stories together.
I have a bad feeling that Percy is the sort of person whereby it will always seem as though things peaked for him just before the present moment. He's like that.
OK, so on to the game. First off, brilliant touch on everyone trying to tweak and lawyer up the rules. If people aren't trying to wheedle out every last advantage, they just aren't trying very hard. And the Weasleys are not the sort of family to give in that easily. My college friends and I have also had many spirited discussions over the years (it's the nice way to say arguments) about whether strategizing and coordination between significant others is allowed. Or encouraged. Or grounds for having a shot of tequila poured over your head. Or perhaps all three.
(P.S. Total tangent - Have you ever heard of a drinking game called 'In You or On You'? It's every bit as stupid and pointless as it sounds. It was still too intellectual for my college friends at the zenith of our early-20's lives, though. So at times, it got dumbed down to a new variant called 'On You.' We were terrible...)
“Have another drink, Perce,” suggested Bill. -- The best answer to any such complaining. "Have another beer, Larry, she's just kidding..."
Audrey may feel like she's a bit out of her depth at times when she's with Percy's family, but she really comes across as the true genius of this party. Taking Percy's wand away was a great call.
OK, it was kind of brilliant to make sloshed Percy open all the gifts. At least until the discipline broke down, but still, getting his up-close reaction to each gift seems like high comedy. Also, Hag's Reserve Gin may be the best branding concept in the history of HP fan fiction.
You know, before Neville volunteered, I thought the Inappropriate Touching plant was something Audrey took from her father's greenhouse. Makes just as much sense coming from Neville, though. If I would change anything, it would probably be to make the plant make things a little more uncomfortable for somebody.
Ron and George with the counterfeit Weasley jumpers... Now that was inspired. Plus, they're creating magical paradoxes to further blow Percy's already debilitated mind. A very clever idea.
Harry's gift was also inspired, and I do like the idea that once a year he'd let his guard down a bit and have some fun with his unwanted fame. Then we have the muggle gadgetry. I wonder whether Arthur has worked out to slip into the host's home on the day after the party and retrieve some treasures? Or perhaps people just give them to him.
God. Sickleback. I hate it and I love it and I hate myself for loving it. You are evil and brilliant in equal measure.
Hah! It's the in-universe Harry Potter series! I love the idea and I adore how indignant Percy gets about the whole thing. It's so upsetting to him. Just perfect!
I'm going to assume that you wrote the rhyme at the end, and it is lovely. The sentiment and the words were perfect. Each person's words also fit them so well. Right down to how you set the scene. The sudden seriousness, and the space between them that Bill's words began to fill. Just beautifully done.
I feel like you must have worked for weeks to come up with all of the brilliant, thoughtful little elements that make this story so amazing! It's so densely packed with great lines and great ideas and perfect little moments. Bravo, Melanie! Bravo!
-Dan
Ok, so of course I loved this and cry laughed a lot throughout. And also laughed out loud so much my husband was actually like: "Are you working today or just dicking around on your computer at home today?"
Also, yes, lemme tell you, I totally pulled a Percy the first time I was without my kid for a couple of days/nights LOL. Hard relate. And hard consequences LOL. Good thing he has an Audrey to remind him to stay hydrated and to keep him from doing some damage with his wand hah.
I love all your festive little details throughout this though! Tony's reindeer antlers, Luna's tinsel's dress, the colors in Angie's braids, the gold stars twinkling on the tissue paper...it all just really brightened everything up! <3
Also I love that they were messing around with Percy in this hah. But in a totally harmless sort of way. I wondered why they picked him first and then it kind of became clear after the third gift that yeah, they were totally secrewing with him. And then he's somewhat self aware but not, which is totally believable because he's like half drunk paranoid and half drunk I just don't care...yeah that's a relatable level of drunk for sure.
And Charlie's refusal to go along. Always gotta have one rebel in the family. Followed shortly by Luna. Makes sense. I appreciate it.
And Jesus Christ Percy ignoring everything else and reading the books! "What a traffic nightmare!" LOL. Accompanied by everything else...I just can't. That dude had me cackling so hard.
LOL George regifting the cassettes to Arthur LOL. Brilliant and also I mean...he would enjoy them LOL!
And omg their toast at the end...I am an emotion. But for different reasons. My little fangirl heart *clutches it* That was so sweet. This whole thing was hilarious and so full of good Weasley-ness. Once again, you write them all so well. Thanks for writing and happy holidays!
<3 Courtney
When I read that you had a Weasley Christmas story coming, I was beyond excited! And this little story did not disappoint. You are so amazing <3
I just loved everything about this, it was so much fun and so entertaining, it just had me smiling the entire time. I loved seeing the whole family all together, and they all just know each other incredibly well. And the little moment at the end was a bittersweet touch.
Love love love!
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