Name: Hawksquill (Signed) · Date: 03 Feb 2021 01:02 AM · For: Chapter 1

Well just from seeing the poly tag I'm excited - I've not really thought about the Marauders being poly but I'm intrigued!

Lily's reflections on death and becoming a ghost made me so sad - the idea that she was planning to live into old age surrounded by her loved ones!  But the note of levity of Sirius still wanting them to die horny as ever balanced it out perfectly, and also feels very in-character.

Lily discovering that ghosts can't vomit but can feel faint and cry had me near tears - poor Lily! You capture her grief perfectly, and her angst and ambivalence about being a ghost in the first place.  But at least she has James.  I love the sad, twisted irony of them having both said they would NEVER be ghosts, and yet here they are.

Ohhhh it had never occurred to me that Voldemort offered to spare Lily because of Snape.  That's a little tidbit I'll be thinking about for a long time!

James and Lily being ghosts does have interesting implications for the Sirius and Peter mixup - I hope Dumbledore does eventually believe them.  Then maybe Harry could grow up with Sirius and Remus?  And wow, you can really feel the rage boiling off of Lily in the last couple paragraphs!

This fic took me on such a journey from sad to angst to anger to hope -good job!

**Review left for the winter in fairyland event**

Name: Crimson Quill (Signed) · Date: 30 Jan 2021 08:37 PM · For: Chapter 1

 

Hey!

I'm here for the reviewing event!

 

I thought this was a really brilliant character driven piece that you've crafted here. I love how you created Lily's inner thought process, how hopefully she was about the future. How much she loved her family/future family. I think you really showed this wonderful caring side to Lily's personality which fits nicely in with canon. 

 

I love this idea that you've come up with that Remus/James/Sirius/Lily had something going on together in a romantic sense. I would never have thought of it but that's such a cool idea. I think you've done a fab job of describing what their life was like together. It's so sweet which I think makes it double heartbreaking that they died and sirius went to prison. The world isn't fair, this story packs quite the emotional punch.

 

I think Lily and James are pretty spot on about being ghosts, it does sound exhausting. I never thought about it before but yeah. It's just depressing to be living half a life. The scene with dumbledore, I enjoyed seeing how Lily and James would have felt about the decisions that dumbledore made for them. I thought that dumbledore knew about their secret keeper swap to begin with but remembered then dumbledore would have known sirius was innocent and stuff which wouldn't sense. I was a bit confused but yeah, it was obviously very frustrating for them to not be believed. good job on this piece!

 

Abbi xx

 

Name: prideofprewett (Signed) · Date: 12 Dec 2020 11:23 AM · For: Chapter 1

Hi Dottie! Just by for some reviews for the fairy princess' birthday! I also know I promised to check out your work whenever we first joined around the same time...but here I am!

 

I love how you write so introspectively! You capture such deep emotions and really give life to Lily's character. I also like how you show that we're all afraid of death in the end, what with James' sudden desire to become a ghost and Lily's brief moment of heistation at what Voldemort promises here. Obviously, they face it like heroes in the end and are far braver than most, but you make their feelings so realistic and accessible to the average person with this moment. 

 

Lily's thoughts about Remus and Sirius were also very valid and heartbreaking. She was hoping Sirius didn't do something reckless and Remus didn't fall apart...gahhh my heart when I read that moment. Because we know how things end up in canon. Also, the bit at the end with Dumbledore felt very realistic. And we get the sense of Lily's kindness and the depths it extends to because she cared for Peter. But she's also the type that couldn't forgive this sort of betrayal because she expects a level of loyalty from all of her friends. 

 

Anyway, I enjoyed this one shot immensely! I think you have a firm grasp on how to write character's thoughts and feelings in a way to hold the reader's interest and to also make them feel all the things. Thanks for writing!

<3 Courtney