Name: Goatspeed (Signed) · Date: 09 Apr 2023 06:38 PM · For: Chapter 4: Pairs

Lucky for me I didn't see this until chapter 4 had been posted - the pacing is at least half the fun in reading this story.  You've got me really eager for the next sentence, much less chapter, and with a suspense/action/adventure thing that's so important.  I like how you've kept each character's distinctive voice, too, and the details of your description make everything convincing.  Great job,

Name: Felpata_Lupin (Signed) · Date: 13 Jun 2021 10:30 AM · For: PB&J

Prize review 3/3!

And you'll need to write on here, because I need to know what happens next! :P

Ahahah! Harry high on Felix Felicis is so hilarious! I love the way you write it! :D And poor Draco, I can't blame him for being scared... :P I also loved how condescending he got once he learned what was going on with Harry... and, oh, I love the idea of them collaborating on this so much! I'd love to see it! And I love how Ron and Draco still can't stand each other, even after all this time, I'm already pretasting the drama (as I said before, you'll need to keep writing, lady... :P)

Speaking of Ron... yes, that was a very bad idea, Harry! Glad he went back! And... yes, good point... why was the Daily Prophet building empty? Mmmh... something strange's going on... And... Ginny Imperioused? Astoria and Scorpius disappeared? What are you plotting???

(Just so you know, since you mentioned it in your notes, I loved your Draco! He's haughty and sarcastic and just perfect! I can totally see an older Draco being like that!)

Wonderful job on this story so far!

Big snowball hug,

Chiara

Name: Felpata_Lupin (Signed) · Date: 13 Jun 2021 09:46 AM · For: Mortal Peril

Prize review 2/3

Yes, she's definitely trying to get revenge on Harry... although I'm wondering what for exactly? Can't be their messy teenage relationship, can it? Maybe she blames him for something that happened during the war? Or later? Guess we'll find out as the story progresses, right?

I loved Ron's little speech, about how it always goes :P Because, yes, that's how it always goes :P I do feel bad about the Petrificus Totalus, though! That was uncalled for, Harry (gave me fond memories of Neville in Philosopher's Stone, though :P)

Oh, and I love the Felix Felicis bit! He's going to need it! I'm so excited to see what happens next, this is so very intriguing, and you have such a lovely style, too! :D

See you on the next one! ;)

Love,

Chiara

Name: Felpata_Lupin (Signed) · Date: 13 Jun 2021 09:21 AM · For: Chapter 1: Clock on the Wall

Hi! I'm here for your prize reviews (1/3) :D

Well, this surely was an intriguing start... and Ginny? In mortal peril? What??? I suppose it has something to do with Cho's case? Is she trying to get back to Harry? What's going on? :O

I like the idea behind this, btw! Cho Chang as a serial killer is kind of amusing, but also kind of fitting :P And poor Harry, he's really struggling, isn't he? I can totally picture him, with his head in his hands, trying to figure out her riddles, exhausted but not wanting to let go... and Ron trying to make him leave... so typical, I love it! And you wrote it all so perfectly! ;)

I love this tradition for memorial day! Big Weasleys gatherings are always fun to read! You give just enough sense of the chaos without overdoing it, and again it's so good! I love how you use the clock as well! It must be really overcrowded at this point... :P

And then, of course, the immediate change of mood as soon as Harry and Ron notice Ginny's hand... :/ I need to know what happens next, so I'll move to the next chapter now! ;)

Great job so far!

Snowball hug,

Chiara

Name: Crimson Quill (Signed) · Date: 31 Jan 2021 05:19 PM · For: Mortal Peril

Hey!

I'm here for reviewing event!

 

I like how you build up the tension when Harry is checking out the property. He is looking around for her. I would have thought that Harry would really act a bit differently being a trained auror for these situations but he still just dives into any situation as foolhardy as ever. It's kinda endearing though?

 

I love the comment about how messy Ginny is, how he notices this is different to her normal style. it's just so cute that he knows her so much that he can pick out all these little details about her which might help him find her. I probably would have cursed Ron if he just popped up like that during the tension of that scene. he could have been anyone.

 

I love that dialogue between Harry and Ron, it has the echoes of History which is really nice to see that. It says a lot about what Harry has been through. He needs to protect Ron and those feelings haven't really gone away. The war's after effects are still very much in play. I like the idea of Luna as a potions master too! I can imagine this! 

 

I'm so excited for the next chapter of this! It's such a cool idea. I'm hoping that we might get to see some of Cho next! so many emotions right now :P can't wait to hear more from this story. 

 

Abbi xx

 

Name: Crimson Quill (Signed) · Date: 31 Jan 2021 05:01 PM · For: Chapter 1: Clock on the Wall

 

Hey!

 

I'm here for the reviewing event!

 

I thought this was such a cool concept! I haven't really seen anything like this, there is lots of crime about but it's interesting that killer is already known and it is about the dynamic between the two. I love how you've world build this crime, The MO on the crime is such good details, the red lipstick kisses on the murder victims and death eater connection seems to be a theme too. I want to know more about the motivations of Cho. So many questions even knowing the murder. I can't wait to see Cho in this story in person. 

 

I love the characterisation of both Ron and Harry in this story so far. The family dynamics that you've created works really well and it's believable. I think Molly would be very passionate and insistent on family time particular on the anniversaries. I love how Ron is still a bit scared of turning up alone because he knows his mum won't be happy. He might be a grown up but his mother still scares him. perfect haha

 

This story has so much promising! I'm going onto chapter 2 because drama levels in this chapter is peak. I want to know what happens next. that's the mark of a good story though. you've lay out enough to interest the reader but still does a lot of mystery in it. good balance.

 

Abbi xx

 

Name: Unwritten Curse (Signed) · Date: 31 Jan 2021 02:54 AM · For: Chapter 1: Clock on the Wall

WHAT. OKAY, this is SO interesting! I just adore this concept! Cho turning into this dark vigilante--YESSSSS. I mean... I know murder isn't exactly great, but these *are* former Death Eaters and I'm kind of not terribly mad about it? I LOVE the idea that she kisses the people she murders and leaves clues--it's like she wants recognition for her handywork and she's not afraid of being caught. That second clue seems like it was intentionally for Harry, like she knows he's investigating the case and she's just taunting him, which is ALSO SO BADASS.

 

The Weasleys gathering at The Burrow was so beautiful and the line about how Fred would have loved it made me a bit emotional. Molly is wonderful, as always. Getting mad at her daughter for not being on time for dinner... classic. <3 BUT THEN... Ginny's in mortal danger! There's a part of me that thinks this must be Cho. She's already been baiting Harry with the clues. This seems like a way to lure him to where she needs him. Although... what if someone else finds her first? I hope someone else doesn't get killed because they're just trying to help. Eeeeeek now I'm nervous.

 

THIS IS GREAT.

 

xx Gina

Name: magemadi (Signed) · Date: 30 Jan 2021 10:34 PM · For: Mortal Peril

Hi again Chelts! :)

I’m so glad you updated this!! I really love the pace you’ve already set within these first two chapters -- it’s fast, it’s anxious, but it’s not breakneck speed, which allows for more build-up to the ultimate confrontation between Harry and Cho that will happen (hopefully). You do such a great job with the scene/setting description in this chapter, and it emphasizes how out of sorts and the not-quite-right-ness that lingers about the Daily Prophet offices. Harry stopping off at home first to pick up some felix felicis (nice touch with Luna being a master potioneer, by the way!!) and hoping for the best feels so much like an echo from HBP, which I enjoyed a lot, even though this situation in which he’s using the potion is much more dire. Aw no, Harry petrifying Ron so he doesn’t call for Hermione’s help to try and have the two of them follow Harry is heartbreaking as I’m sure it’ll be a bit of a strain on their friendship if this all goes to shit. Onward Harry goes, and here I shall anticipate the next chapter! :D

~Madi
Fairy foxy review event (the bridge)

Name: grumpy cat (Signed) · Date: 30 Jan 2021 10:23 PM · For: Mortal Peril

i wonder why would cho take or attack ginny? is it just to trap harry, like ron seems to think? i guess it's possible but i feel like there is probably an ulterior motive here. i loved your descriptions of harry surveying the scene of the crime, how he analysed the curse scorch marks on the wall, deducing how ginny must've taken out her wand and what curse she might have used, or at least in the way she used a curse, he could surmise that there were multiple attackers - it was just really clever and i love all the detective-y stuff you've incorporated here, i mean, some of the stuff he was noticing are things i would probably never think about so i think it's amazing you've written it that way! (but also, yeah, if someone asked me who would win in a duel, ginny or cho, i'd always say ginny without having to think about it at all). also loved ron's comments, but uhh harry and his hero complex of course mean he did leave him there eh. but at least he drank some felix felicis, which is definitely good! can't wait to see what comes next!

(for foxy glory! - the over the bridge task)

Name: grumpy cat (Signed) · Date: 24 Jan 2021 07:09 PM · For: Chapter 1: Clock on the Wall

i love the premise of cho, the vigilante super hot beautiful avenging femme fatale murderess going around, killing former death eaters. like, i know that's not exactly great, but after the treatment she got in the books, cho deserves to be a badass femme fatale, even if it means murdering (former) death eaters. the fact that she keeps leaving clues and puzzles for the paper and harry especially is super interesting, i know it's a thing some serial killers did, but i don't think i've ever read about why they did it. possibly fame or wanting admiration for the work they do? with cho, it just seems like she wants to prove a point, yk, and i guess that's valid, i bet she's suffered during the war, and is now also suffering from ptsd and this is her way of (not really)dealing with stuff. i love that the weasleys and weasley-adjacents gather together every year for fred's memorial and harry's comment about how there's more than magic that keeps the burrow upright - functional and loving families always make me feel jealous but i like reading them. but damn ginny being in mortal peril just as harry is investigating cho is uhh definitely not good, though i kinda doubt cho would hurt ginny, it doesn't seem like she'd be her intended target. all that to say, you absolutely have to write more because i need to know what happens!

(for foxy glory!)

Name: magemadi (Signed) · Date: 24 Jan 2021 03:45 AM · For: Chapter 1: Clock on the Wall

Hey Chelts!

Um, okay, so this is NOT A COOL ENDING BECAUSE I NEED MORE OF THIS FIC NOW!!! You can’t just leave the readers hanging like that! *Ahem* But seriously this is a really cool premise for a fic and I love too that you’ve taken a somewhat common fic idea of former death eaters meeting an early demise but turning it on its head here, with Cho Chang. Also, how could I not dive right into this fic with a summary like that?! I really like your characterization of Harry from the get-go as it shows he’s obviously a well-qualified and experienced Auror, but also that he’s still human and has imperfections like wanting to work late even though he knows he isn’t supposed to particularly on this night. Ron knowing his tricks too at the floo is great and that does a lot to let the reader know their friendship is as strong as ever. All the Weasley-Potter clan at the Burrow, I love it!! NOT GINNY IN MORTAL PERIL *scream emoji* Circling back to the start of my review: HOW COULD YOU END IT LIKE THAT?! I hope you get more of this written & posted soon because I am SO into this story!

~Madi
Fairy foxy review event