Name: ShazaLupin (Signed) · Date: 02 Feb 2021 07:39 PM · For: Chapter 1

Hi there!

 

This was a brilliant character study, and a brilliant fic as well. Petunia and Lily's relationship had to have been so complicated and it's so sad that they never got to reconcile or even talk much before she died. And Lily was so young when she died.

 

I know this was focusing on Petunia, and  I think you did  a great job of showing the conflict she must have been going through especially along with just having suffered a miscarriage. But I also really love the way you've written vernon, he's still so straight talking and very much focused on work but you can tell he does care for her in his own way. Even if he's very unmoving on their plans. 

 

This was a really interesting fic! 

 

Shaza

Written for the winter in fairyland review event.

 

Name: RonsGirlFriday (Signed) · Date: 31 Aug 2020 10:58 PM · For: Chapter 1

This was a really moving examination of Petunia and her life at that time. I don't make excuses for what she did in the books, but she really is a complex character, and I don't fault her for her feelings, only for the way she allowed her feelings to direct her abusive treatment of Harry. And I always found Vernon so much more rotten than her, and you deliver here with this just loathsome depiction of him, intolerant, lacking compassion, and almost downright unfeeling, even to his own wife. 

 

The addition to Petunia's story about her desire and inability to carry a second baby to term makes her decision with respect to Harry all the more critical since apparently three children is right out of the question. I thought her complex emotions here were really realistic, her grief over Lily, her wish that they'd been able to make amends, her logical thoughts that the falling out was all silliness in the end, but then back to her really dark and envious and spiteful feelings towards her sister for always being the lucky one. And the candor with which you treat the intrusive sort of thoughts she experiences, like leaving Harry on the porch and pretending it never happened, or leaving him alone in the bath. These are the icky kinds of thoughts nobody likes to talk about but happen all the time, and especially since Petunia is reeling from the trauma of her miscarriage, not to mention Lily's death.

 

I really love to see this kind of exploration of her character.

 

Melanie

Gryffinclaw Take Flight Review Event

 

Team Tressym *mrow*

Author's Response:

"I don't fault her for her feelings, only for the way she allowed her feelings to direct her abusive treatment of Harry. "  That basically sums up my feelings about Petunia perfectly!  What prompted this story was definitely me thinking - gosh, imagine all the awful emotions Petunia must have been feeling in those first few days with Harry there.  The trauma of finding a baby on your doorstep and finding out through a letter that your sister has been murdered!  I also totally agree that Vernon is a neglectful husband and father so that totally adds to the stress on Petunia having to care for 2 children under the age of 2. 

Glad it worked for you, thanks so much for reading and commenting! 

Name: prideofprewett (Signed) · Date: 26 Aug 2020 09:06 PM · For: Chapter 1

I love this exploration story of Petunia as a character! The Dursley's are portrayed as being truly awful in canon (and I mean, they totally are), but this definitely serves to explain some reasons why they are like they are. I think we often forget that Petunia is Lily's sister and maybe it's because her behavior is so abhorrent towards Harry. So fics like these serve to remind us that she lost her sister the day that Lily died. And I also never understood why Petunia was with someone like Vernon. He always seemed to be super toxic and aggressive in comparison? Maybe they just kind of fed off one another in a "misery loves company" sort of way. 

Anyway, I'm rambling. I loved this story even in all its sadness. Thank you for writing!

Author's Response:

Ahh another review!  I totally agree about the Petunia and Vernon dynamic - part of me feels that she didn't have a lot of self-esteem and married the first guy who paid her any attention.  He's definitely toxic and awful to her, and then that dynamic just trickles down to Harry and Dudley. 

I'm glad you enjoyed it, even if it's sad!  I was worried people would hate this little fic for being too depressing, or for making Petunia too sympathetic.  I didn't necessarily want to make her sympathetic, but to maybe show a different side of her.  I think people feel uncomfortable when they see their least favorite characters in a vulnerable or even somewhat sympathetic light, and they can lash out.  So it's a relief that this hit the right buttons for you :)

Thanks again! 

Name: dottie-wan-kenobi (Signed) · Date: 24 Aug 2020 08:29 PM · For: Chapter 1

Hi!! I love character studies and I love exploring Petunia's psyche so I'm excited to read this! I'm not great at reviews so I'm just gonna live blog it lol.

Ohhh man I was so ready to hate Vernon. I still do sort of, but I'm glad he's able to be kind to her in that moment. In a dark kind of way, I love how she "cradles" her stomach, and how that word is like. something usually reserved for happier situations, though I'm also thinking about those dramatic death scenes where someone is held in another person's arms. I also really enjoy how pervasive the blood seems to be in the scene -- I can really picture Petunia's hand poking him.

The next part :((( omg. I know how little one year olds act and you've got that down PAT but also. It makes me so sad that Petunia has to deal with Vernon being a bit difficult and Dudley being VERY difficult in such an awful moment :(

Ahh okay, I was wondering if she'd miscarried the first time before or after Dudley was born. "but she felt nothing at all.  She was empty." omg nooo :( this is so good. and "“Excuse me, but I’m actually talking to your wife,”" HELL YEAH doc.

I love how you're showing that Vernon is still. Not Great. while also being sort of okay? Like I'm glad he's helping care for her but also. RED SHEETS? Bro. Shut up. kjdshfhdajh. "And yet Petunia felt an overwhelming desire to leave the baby on the pavement for someone else to find, to go inside, to shut the door, and to care for her one living child as if nothing had happened." I...I kind of love this too? Like on one hand, I saw a theory about how Harry being a horcrux affected the Dursleys' behavior and this really rings of that -- she wanted to do the right thing, but now she's considering doing something horrible. But ignoring that, it really shows too how she's feeling -- I didn't get the sense of her being able to do something like this before, but now that she's empty and alone with Dudley and that moment of hope is crushed, I can see her doing this. I can see her having this thought. Really great line!

"the other baby" oh my god how have I never thought about the fact that they had two one year olds at the same time. That sounds sooooo stressful.

I was about to say "ohh I feel so bad for Petunia" when she was thinking about Lily and their possible future but then she just. She called Harry an "it"?? and he's not part of her family, even though he's all she has left of her sister, who just a second ago she was mourning? Ma'am???? 

Okay I stand corrected. Veron DON'T CALL HIM AN IT. PLEASE. dkshfjkah and Petunia actually does realize he's all she has left....it makes me sad but I'm happy she came around a lil bit too. I'm back to hating Vernon but also "“Don’t their lot have orphanages?" I kinda wanna write something about this now? or read something about it? Anyway. The mention of James and his family...I'm too emo lol. 

"Petunia had moved him to the playpen while the family ate dinner.  They didn’t have a second highchair." FORESHADOWING KDJFAJKHD

"Lily always managed to avoid all the hard things in life." MA'AM??? SHE'S DEAD AT 21? how is that easy omg kdsjhfkjdhah

OHHH my god this last bit. oh my god. I have so many thoughts I don't even know where to start. I love how Petunia is so like. Cold. I mean I hate it for Harry but in the context of this fic haha it's perfect. The fact that she never calls him by his name hurts in the best way (but also thank god she doesn't call him an it omg). And the part about how he looks like Dudley... idk why but that just really hit different. Like he's so obviously Not Part of the family but then...he looks like Dudley. He looks like their actual baby. I really like that.

PETUNIA WAS GONNA-- oh my god. I'm not surprised but omg. Especially with the last line? I can't imagine what it must be like, to hate a child so much and even consider drowning them, but also indulging in moments where she imagines he's hers. Just. Wow.

This is absolutely amazing!! You gave so much depth to Petunia here and it kind of feels like we've only dipped our toes into her thought process and everything. I'm amazing and in love with how you make her so sympathetic while also making her like... just as awful as in canon. Thank you for writing and sharing!!

Author's Response:

Oh my gosh thank you so much!  This is probably the longest review I've ever gotten and I love "live blogging" and seeing how you respnded as the story progressed.  I definitely wanted to make both Petunia and Vernon a bit sympathetic but still not great people - for instance, Vernon is not a good person but I do feel that he loved Petunia and thinks he's doing his best.  Petunia is definitely in a state of shock and still processing her trauma and grief, so in some ways I give her more of a pass than I give Vernon.  But this definitely isn't meant to be a redemption arc for her, maybe just more of a glimpse into why she is the way she is.  A reason isn't an excuse, after all! 

 

I'm so glad some of my stylistic choices (like Petunia not using Harry's name throughout the whole fic) worked for you!  Seeing your visceral reaction to some parts made me feel really good about conveying what I was trying to convey.  Thanks so much for reading and reviewing!