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Hi, Noelle.
You have put a lot of stuff into this chapter. First, the busy backyard party at the home of the elder Potters. It is good to see more glimpses of Severus's mother in this scene. I'm sure she will be developed in this story one glimpse at a time. And I smiled at the mention of the platter of ingredients for making American s'mores. I loved how the children spoke of the s'mores --You roast the marshmallow on a stick and you eat the s'more with your hands. No wonder Severus declares it to be barbarous (just what Americans would do).
As usual, James and Sirius are clueless about other people's wants and needs, but Miranda sees what is happening and deftly ameliorates it. Another glimpse of her personality and character.
It's just like Sirius to try to draw all the attention to himself by singing a ribald song that greatly offends Severus's mother. Quite in character for him to do that, and a good device to get Severus, Miranda, and Severus's mother out of the party and back to Severus's house.
It would be very hard for Severus to say the words, "I was a Death Eater." I liked how you avoided that by simply having him start to roll up his sleeve, and Miranda, instantly understanding what he is about to show her, putting her hand over his to stop him. An unexpectedly dramatic gesture/image. A good close-up shot in the movie. I also liked Miranda's line "Where I'm from. a man's measured by his grit." It makes a lot of American sense, and I get the feeling that it's an Americanism that Severus cannote denigrate as being of lower quality than British ways of thinking.
And finally we get to the romance <3 <3 <3. Just a tantalizing taste of what's to come, and then we will have to wait for more.
Well, there is some fluff here, but also some serious stuff, because these charaters lived through serious times, and you can't keep that out of the story.
Nice job.
Vicki
Author's Response:The moment where Severus rolls up his sleeve and Miranda stops him is definitely my favorite moment in this chapter.
Poor Sev. Even when I try to write him in fluff, he has to put some heavy stuff in there too.
Thank you so much for reading and reviewing my story!
Hi, Noelle.
Now Severus and Mirand are furthering their relationship over their mutual love of old books by old classical authors, an some new authors, in the attic of Flourish and Blotts I am not sure how I could hold up an end of such a conversation. The Great War? Does that refer to what is no until World War II came along?
It must freeze Snape's heart to hear Miranda speak casually of "clowns who want to emulate the European extremists, Grindelwald and Voldemort." He was one of those clowns. No wonder he changes the subject, but she steers the new subject into probing more into his longterm plans for his ife. He must feel like he's under a microscope..There is rension in this scene, but also some fluff.
The scene at Malfoy's manor is all difficult. Surely Regulus must have known what would happen when he broached the topic of Severus's "new flame." That wasn't a kind thing for him to do. And he continues to make things worse for Severus with remark after remark. I think that in the canon books we assume there is a rdemption arc for Death Eater Regulus, but I guess that none of Regulus's repentance has started to develop yet, so I like him lees and less the longer he continues speaking. With "friends" like this, Severus doesn't need enemies.
And of course Narcissa leaps on the exaggerated news, as Regulus knows she will, and insists upon hauling Miranda into the pureblood Slytherin socail circle. Poor Severus, though I won't say poor Miranda because she will probably kick ass.
The cat will be out of the bag sooner rather than later regarding the political beliefs of these pureblood Slytherins at the summer party, and of Severus's connections with them. This is still not fluffy. I will check out the next chapter...
Good job. Surely the fluff is coming.
Vicki
Author's Response:Lots of dramatic irony in this chapter for sure!
While Severus's friends do tease him, they also do want him to be happy.
We'll see how it goes when Miranda meets Lucius Malfoy in this timeline...
HHi, Noelle.
I like your description of Snape's cottage and garden in Godric's Hollow I can see the bright sky and feel the warm sun and luxuriate in all the colorful flowers. An environment that induces calm and good mental health. It is also nice to see that his mother is resident there also, because it is good to have social interactions and not be alone all the time.
I see that my guess was correct, that Miranda had been delayed in getting to the pub because of her risky line of business, but I'm glad that she did eventually turn up there because it is the only way she could have otten Snape's home address from Lily. Nicely arranged by you. So Severus and Mirandaget to avoid meeting in a loud, rqaaucous pub and can get to know each other under more peaceful, personal conditions.
They certainly spent a lot of time together in his garden (3 chess games plus personal histories). And he;s more suave than he gives himself credit for; his instincts are correct.
I had to look back to see how many chapters this story encompassed (six) and whether it's completed. :(
So I will just keep reading to see how much more of this story you can tell by the end of chapter 6. Intriguing!
Vicki
Author's Response:Getting Severus out of Spinner's End is my mission in life.
Unfortunately, this story is on the back burner for now. I do plan to finish it, but I'll be focusing on finishing The Moonlight Quartet and Breathing Underwater first.
Thank you for checking it out, even if it's not complete!
Hi,, Noelle.
This was actually a sort-of sad chapter. I loved your description of the pub in Phyne Alley (food name). I had thought they were all going to see a theatrical performance, not a hard rock band, so I was a little surprised, but maybe it's for the best that Miranda was "otherwise engaged," (something to do with her bounty-hunter job?) and didnt join this raucous group of Marauders, such as Sirius, who always like to make himself the center of attention, not always kindly or politely. That wouldn'thave been a good setting for a first date.
I liked the apearance of Regulus in this pub gathering, and the mention of Lucius and Narcissa and James's fund-raising activites for his charities. The whole wizarding community is different from the canon because James and Lily survived.
It makes me think about how much this alternate universe is altered since there is (apparently) no event of Voldemort's trying to kill Harry and getting himself fried as a shocking complication.. Is there even a Second Wizarding War in this AU? Perhaps not, since the story is described as fluffy, but I wonder if it will veer down into inevitable darkness by dint of an irresistable literary force?
Nicely done.
Vicki
Author's Response:Since this story is Severus's fantasy of a "more perfect life" there's quite a bit of heaviness in it. At the point in Moonlight where he's daydreaming about this, I don't think he's able to allow himself to imagine a life that would be all happiness and light. So we see here that even though he's nominally "friends" with James and Sirius, they still treat him poorly.
In this AU, Voldemort is dead and gone. There are no Horcruxes, and the good guys won. So there will be no Second Wizarding War.
There may be some other complications though. We'll see.
Hi, Noelle. As you can tell, I am trolling through your AP, catching up on some of your stories that I neglected to read, over the years, but during the review drive it's the perfect time to remedy that error.
What a great idea, to take Snape's imaginings in Moonlight of how his life might have been if he had made different, better choices in his youth, and turn it into an AU vision of how that alternate life may have played out for him, Lily, and James.
But I see that you haven't changed everything. He still has his Dark Mark and his now-regretted entanglement with the Dark Lord, and much of his personality is still there, though the hole in his heart caused by Lily's canon death has not worked its effect on him.
He has a firm connection with Lily and her family as a good, trusted friendm,and since Lily is married now, he is free to develop other romantic connections, encouraaged by Lily. I love the description of his first meeting with Miranda Rose and her conversation on that occasion. Severus must have been, at first glance, more attractive than he realized. (Imagine a 30-year-old Alan Rickman.) And his respected work in Potioneering also makes him quite respectable, a good catch.
lily is quite the matchmaker in the closing paragraph of his story. Has she done any matchmaking or at least suggestion for Snape previously? Does he go along with it this time because Miranda ahs made herself so accessible (in a friendship way)? You say that the story is fluff, so I expect that nothing bad will happen, and maybe it will all turn out happily for Snape. :) :) <3
I am enjoying this story!
Vicki
Author's Response:That meet cute was super fun to write.
Lily just wants Sev to be happy, and she's a little pushy, hence the playing matchmaker.
Hi! I'm here to woo Medusa <3
The summary alone came with so many bittersweet feelings because I really wish life had played out that way and Sev and Lily and just everyone would've been able to get their happy endings. But, anyways, it's been a while since this chapter was first posted, and the need for fluff is as great as ever so I'm really happy I came around it and that I got to read it.
The Potter boys sound adorable. Chaotic, but adorable. I could very well see Sev fitting in their lives in this manner. Being kind of authoritanian and serious with them but in a very heartwarming manner.
"And your boys are delightful."/ "I'm glad to hear they fooled you." Again I'm loving this world were all is well and Lily and Miranda get to meet. Also - I love Lily playing the wingwoman and being all "see? told ya!" There's that playfulness about them that you've alluded to in some of your other works - but there's no bittersweetness here because it seems as if their relationship is truly platonic and both sides and they'll all be allowed their happily ever after.
Such a wonderful first chapter. So glad I came across it <3
Love, Quilly.
Author's Response:Hi Quilly! Thanks for coming by my story :D
I agree--I also wish that Sev and Lily had been able to work out their differences in canon. Everything would have worked out so much better.
It was super fun to write the Potter boys and think about what Harry would be like if he'd gotten to grow up with his family. I see Sev here as stern but fair, and that he would do pretty much anything for Lily and the boys.
I'm so glad you liked Lily and Miranda meeting, and Lily as wingwoman. I totally see her trying to push Sev out of his comfort zone here, but in a good way.
Thanks so much for this lovely review!
A QUARANTINE PLOTLINE. How… topical. XD
There were so many delightful details that jumped out at me in this chapter. The knick knacks scrambling out of the way of Eileen’s spell; Prospero taking the dinner order to the restaurant (omg how cute, and also, my cats are SO useless); Sev commenting to Prospero about the baby being a girl “as if the cat had asked.”
Harry’s adorable, all the kids really, and I just love how they play off Sev and what an excellent command he has over them even while seeing them as total agents of chaos, and how much he clearly loves them and accepts responsibility for their care without question even though this is the WORST timing and he definitely does not need this shit right now. Miranda’s a natural, too, and I just need them to get married and have some babies, please.
“It is an honor to be third on your list of acceptable temporary guardians.”
^I died. Hysterical. One of your greatest gems (though there are many).
“They can’t be worse than No-Maj doctors.”
There was a bitterness in her tone that gave Severus pause. “Have you reason to complain of Muggle care?”
“That’s one way of putting it.”
“I am sorry that was the case, but I am glad that you came through in one piece.”
“Well, mostly.”
Urgh noooooo, I see that they really are the same as their counterparts from Moonlight, just in different historical circumstances, and I am so not looking forward to having to relive this heartbreak again.
But also. I am not entirely sure how I’m going to withstand the sexual tension of these two being trapped in one house together for a week (with his mum and with kids, omg).
Eagerly awaiting the next chapter!!
<3 Melanie
Author's Response:THANK YOU!!! I didn't actually set out for this to have a quarentine plotline--I guess it was just on the brain while I was writing--and so here we are.
I don't know how I'm going to stand the sexual tension either. It should be fun to watch though.
I LOVE writing Sev in this context. I think that he could be very good with kids, given a better set of circumstances.
It will also break my heart to unfold all Miranda's past this time. But I hope it will be worth it in the end.
Thank you for this lovely review!
THIS. CHAPTER.
<33333
It’s so fun and weird (in a good way) seeing all these characters interacting with one another like this, but I do love that you’re still keeping them in character, like James and Sirius being prats sometimes and not necessarily thinking of what others want when they want to do something fun/brilliant (even if they are very giving and noble on a larger scale — there’s still some self-absorption there when they’re among friends and having fun). Your characterization of Eileen feels so real and engaging, and I love that Sev takes care of her like this and that she’s so welcomed and treated well by everyone (putting aside Sirius’s song choice).
Thank you for having us.”
“And?”
He snorted. “And for inviting Miss Rose.”
I LOVE THEIR FRIENDSHIP, it’s perfect.
Okay, but the important bits of this chapter! I liked how the Death Eater reveal was handled, honestly that was just perfect — I like how blunt he was in taking responsibility, and in turn how Miranda reacted with understanding and acceptance.
AND LET’S TALK ABOUT THE KISSING SCENE, okay, this is really the only thing I wanted to talk about when I read this chapter, IT WAS LOVELYYYYYYY. OMG it might be one of the best kissing scenes I’ve ever read?? You have such a way with emotions and sensations and it’s tantalizing and classy all at the same time. (But like, before that you have him overeagerly bumping the table and spilling a teacup, which was just PERFECT and comical and adorable.)
MUM, OMG, LEAVE US ALONE. XD
Ahh I’m so into this story, thank you for writing it, it’s just fluffy and pure and I love it.
Melanie
Author's Response:AHHHH THANK YOU!! It's been a balance trying to have Sev be friends with the Marauder's crew, and not exactly be friends. I think he and James and Sirius are kind of frenemies--not unlike the relationship Sev and Lucius have in canon. Hopefully they will all come around to being real friends by the end of this fic. I also wanted to preserve the way that James and Sirius can be kind of callous at times. Like, I think they've matured some by now, but it's still part of their character, and it still pops up from time to time.
I'm so thrilled you liked the kissing scene!!! It was my favorite thing to write in this chapter--even Mum's interruption.
Thank you so much for this lovely review!
Hi Noellleeee!! Please forgive me for how long I’ve been absent from your AP. <3
Your descriptions in this first paragraph, setting the scene, are stunning. I love your way with description, and how natural and fluid you make it sound. It doesn’t sound like just listing excruciating details that make the reader’s mind work harder. Your descriptions make the scene feel alive. Like:
Rare books bound in oiled leather with gold edged pages overflowed the handsome inset bookshelves, coquettishly waiting to be admired like debutantes who know their worth.
Beautiful simile!
Sev and Miranda’s banter is enjoyable, smart, witty, but realistic, which I love. I also love Miranda’s dogged loyalty to baseball.
I’m SO interested to see how Sev’s involvement with the Death Eaters played out in this AU, especially considering the dynamics we’re seeing where everyone is… cool with each other? But the wizarding war clearly still happened? Anyway, Lucius and Narcissa meddling in people’s love lives is something I didn’t realize I needed. XD
Melanie
Author's Response:Hi Melanie!
Thank you so much--I'm always glad to know my descriptions are working. They don't come naturally to me.
Lucius and Narcissa are the ultimate matchmakers, even in canon I think. I should do a 5 + 1 sometime of them setting Sev up with people...anyway, yes, in any universe Miranda loves baseball.
Thank you for this lovely review!
Noelle!!
WHYYYYY slow burn? I mean, you do it so deliciously, but... but... you're delaying my gratification!
That said. You do it so well, with little lingering touches that are chaste but hint at more, and subtle, intelligent flirtation. Their intellect is so well matched, and Miranda retains that boldness, tenacity, and that daring quality about her (e.g. in her profession) that seems to equally impress and appall him sometimes.
“I don’t slip it into my acquaintances' tea if that’s your concern.”
^Ha! I loved that.
Dangerous magic, this.
So good. I like how the voice that you've cultivated for Severus in your writing is still here, exactly the same, except... happier.
I really am liking how so many things from the Moonlight series are familiar to us here -- from Miranda's demonstration of the Homing Spell to the fact that, back in chapter 1, she recalled reading his article in the potions journal -- they are really the same people, with the same connection, but under much better circumstances in life.
BTW, how wonderful that his mum lives with him, in Godric's Hollow! Yay. And that Miranda is able to connect with Eileen in a way that apparently so few are able to.
“Your book is inside. Would you like to come in and get it?”
Mm-hmm. I notice that she did not say, "I'll go grab it and bring it out for you"!
This whole part at the end is such excellent romantic tension, argh! And the potions metaphor, just perfection.
I love all of it so much!
Melanie
Author's Response:I sort of wish this weren't a slow burn either, tbh. But I will say that it's fun writing the almost kisses too.
I like to think that Sev is reacting in this story the way he sort of wishes he'd reacted in Moonlight. He's being purposefull here, where in Moonlight he did a lot of reacting instead of thinking first.
It's also super fun to write some Snape-y fluff.
Thanks for this lovely review!
Oh nooooooo. After that first chapter? I guess even with fluff you must torment us a little. :P
Poor Sev, and on top of being stood up he had to go to that pub for nothing (although I was greatly amused at his thoughts about that place). I love, by the way, that through the character of Genevieve you point out that for a few years there when he first became a teacher he would have been teaching some students who had been fellow students with him! How awkward!
Puck’s Own came crashing in through the alley entrance, laughing and shouting with their ripped clothing, spiked hair (in colors never before seen in nature), and instruments that were an unholy alliance of dark magic and Muggle electronics. Within seconds the pub was full of a racket that brought to mind cats in heat, signaling that the band was “tuning up” in preparation of making “music” for the “delight” of the pub’s patrons. Perfect.
^Hahaha, I loved all of this. He's only 30 and he's such a cranky old man. :D
From a standpoint of reality and keeping everyone in character, I like that you've retained some of the tension between Sev and the Marauders -- but wow, they can still hit below the belt! I mean:
But we all know that he’s good at being passed over; don’t we?”
Bad form, Sirius!
James is interesting to try to get a read on -- it seems maybe he's not 100% on board with Sev but most of the time he is trying?
I'm eagerly awaiting the next chapter so I can get some more fluffy Sevranda feels!! <3
Melanie
Author's Response:I know! I'm sorry! It won't bee too long, I promise.
I think James and Sirius have accepted that Sev is Lily's friend, and he's not going anywhere. BUT they haven't forgotten everything that went down at Hogwarts, and they let it slip out sometimes. Especially (in Sirius's case) when he has an audience to perform for, like at a bar.
Thank you so much for this lovely review!
Yes, we could all use a little fluff right now -- or a lot, really -- and I'm so engrossed in this. If I didn't already ship Sevranda, this would do it. I love a good meet cute (kids seem to really help in that regard -- what is it about a guy with kids??) and their flirting was so good, sparkling but also subtle, one of your many wonderful talents. I don't know, sometimes I get bored really quickly with aggressive flirting in fiction, heavy handed double entendres, smarminess, etc. You have a really nice, light touch when it comes to dialogue like this. I felt so legitimately happy and giddy reading this whole scene, and their charming, breathtaking, tongue-tied instant connection. It all jumped right off the page (screen?) Argh! So fluff! Such happy! I am a hopeless romantic under my shell and I live for this stuff.
"What useful information to have." -- This is the absolute best, I don't know why I like this line so much but I do. It's so cheeky and funny. I wish I had come up with a line like this in my life.
The kids are so cute!! I'm loving Lily as a boy mom, it seems to suit her. The boys' personalities are so well developed already. And Sev seems to low key love them, which is just, ugh, heartwarming -- even while he tries to convince himself he is Extremely Annoyed With Them. "Used small, precise words," LMAO, he kills me.
Lily is an A+ wingman, good for her. And I am very taken with 1) how much Sev enjoys that Miranda also takes notes in her book and is intrigued by them, and 2) how he wants to respect her privacy by not reading them.
I can't wait to see what happens next. I now ship Sevranda in multiple universes, this is fabulous. :D
Thank you for writing this; it is the fluff content I am here for.
Melanie
Author's Response:As fun as the meet cute with a vampire in Moonlight was, I really enjoyed writing something more lighthearted here. It was fun to have both Sev and Miranda just being happy and free.
I loved writing Harry with siblings so much. It breaks my heart that Harry didn't get any in canon. Well, he got the Weasleys in canon, but you know what I mean.
This is the first time I've written Lily, so I'm glad she was coming off well.
I am also delighted you ship Sevranda in the multi-verse :D
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