Name: magemadi (Signed) · Date: 13 Jul 2020 07:41 AM · For: Needed

We yeet again!

 

Greed makes an appearance through ridiculously overloaded with alcohol James and Remus coming back from Hogsmeade. Cheeky boys! Of course they have more than they should have gotten, they were greedy little sneaks and flirted with Rosie (is this Madam Rosmerta but younger??? *scream face emoji*) Remus is, of course, lamenting the amount of alcohol they’ve gotten now that his charm is wearing off, but James makes an inscrutable face at him, and I really really really hope that ending indicates he goes in for a kiss. I s2g if these boys do not kiss in this fic, Melanie, I will RIOT! At any rate, I like the sly way James explains his reasoning for Remus going with him as being more easily able to fit under the invisibility cloak with him and because Rosie likes him better over Sirius, but I also think it’s because he wanted to be with his boyf :P Great job!!

 

~Madi

Broom Racing

Name: magemadi (Signed) · Date: 13 Jul 2020 07:29 AM · For: Protected

Yeet!

 

Melanie!! I. LOVE. THIS. TAKE. We get so little about this scene from canon, but even just with this fucking drabble you really expand the repercussions of Sirius’s prank with Severus to the rest of the Marauders so easily, it’s amazing. Also YES James is absolutely not overreacting, wrath is definitely called for in this situation. I think Sirius had forgotten how much of a risk it still was for Remus every full moon, but realizing the depths of his mistake by pulling that prank and getting a sound scolding/yelling at by James *after* they’ve already been in the headmaster’s office about it (I’m sure) is perfect for this deadly sin prompt. James exploding with rage regardless of it being because he has romantic or platonic best friend feels towards Remus totally works either way here too, which is fantastic. 10/10 for your choice of canon scene for this one, Melanie!

 

~Madi

Broom Racing

Name: magemadi (Signed) · Date: 13 Jul 2020 07:16 AM · For: Seen

I’m back!

 

Okay Melanie this one f*cking hurt, damn!! I was wondering if you were going to pull in Lily Evans or not and I am so glad you did! Mostly because that meant this drabble would be envy AND it would be a Remus-centered chapter which makes my heart happy. <3 Although it’s not happy to see my boy being so envious of Lily because he’s a little too in love with James to notice just how much James also looks at him!! REMUS, you silly silly boy, the boy is in love with you too, even if he’s looking at Lily a lot more than he should be. Y’all just need to communicate, okay?? But really, great work with this one, I feel like this would probably have been one of the easiest ones for you to come up with with this ship?? Please let me know if I am correct or not!! ALSO, love the descriptive writing in this one too, especially all the different eye color talk. Tis very nice. <3

 

~Madi

Broom Racing

Name: magemadi (Signed) · Date: 13 Jul 2020 07:03 AM · For: Humbled

Hi again Melanie!

 

This prompt was pride and OF COURSE James is overly prideful about his antlers when he’s a stag, and Remus totally calls him out on it, YES! Then of course James has to complain to his other best friend Sirius about Remus’s complaint, fully expecting Sirius’s support but gets slapped with a hard no. *joy emoji* I also love the touch of Sirius trying to get the muggle vinyl records to play in his wizarding record player and failing miserably. RIP to those melted records, lol. You have a really good sense of each of the boys’ voices, and this little banter is just spectacular. James literally not knowing that male deer shed their antlers yearly is hilarious and his grumbling about his not falling off is perfect for the prompt. Well done!

 

~Madi

Broom Racing

Name: magemadi (Signed) · Date: 13 Jul 2020 06:33 AM · For: Nourished

Hi Melanie!

 

I am very excited about these drabbles because, uhm, the seven deadly sins plus it’s James/Remus so like, how could I not? First up is gluttony, which is typically a difficult sin to write about, but you’ve absolutely nailed it! Also,,, love the “Stag Night” ship name SO MUCH! James coming in and literally eating a ridiculous amount of food while Remus eats nothing shows the extremes of “gluttony” as a deadly sin without being over the top about it. Then you expertly show James’s concern for Remus’s health as he’s told discreetly Remus hasn’t eaten anything, and that Gryffindor bravery/thickheadedness comes through as James will stick with Remus all night if he has to just to get him to eat something, full moon approaching or not. Ugh, I am so excited for this ship, thank you for introducing me to it, Melanie! 

 

~Madi

Broom Racing

Name: maraudertimes (Signed) · Date: 12 Jul 2020 08:56 PM · For: Loved

Hello hello Melanie! I am here to review your entry to my challenge and I am so very excited to start!! Also for some broom racing because I am devious <3 ;)

Oh man, am I ready for this last chapter? Who knows, but let’s DO IT!!!

Oh man oh man, the fake cough. As always, so in character and so funny. Although I’m going to be devil’s advocate and say that if Madam Pomfrey were to catch them kissing, she’d probably throw James out of the Hospital Wing for disturbing her patient.

Okay I got the swoony chills. The ones that go up and down your arms and make your heart hurt a little bit. I don’t know if it’s because they’re laying down together (such a vulnerable position), or James is running his fingers through Remus’s hair (what a sweet yet sensual thing to do), although if I’m being honest it was the kiss on the temple. And the “I’ll be here anyway” line. <3 What babes!!

Okay, so I totally went into this story like “JILY 5EVAH” but now that I’m through it I’m like “Jily sometimes, but also James/Remus other times is super cute too”. Which is a testament to your writing because Jily is one of my all time favourite ships. But something about these cuties just took me by the heart and made me fall in love with them. This was definitely a swoony AF story, I loved every word and I think you completely smashed the sin drabbles!

Which, by the way, I did notice some of them were opposite (I definitely mentioned that in the last chapter), and I really liked it. Also I really appreciate you explaining your thought process for this one, because I wouldn’t have gotten the mental aspect of it and rereading this with that lens, I really love it.

 

Thank you so much for writing this for my challenge Melanie! Swoons all over! I really loved this story. The chills! I GOT THE CHILLS (™)!! <3
Lo <3

Name: maraudertimes (Signed) · Date: 12 Jul 2020 06:26 PM · For: Respected

Hello hello Melanie! I am here to review your entry to my challenge and I am so very excited to start!! Also for some broom racing because I am devious <3 ;)

Oh man, starting right into the action that I was so looking for by the end of the last chapter! I am here for it! (although plz still write me things <3)

I’m going to be speculating for a second so bear with me - have you written Remus with asexuality in mind? That’s what it kind of feels like to me, and I’m checking the tags, and YASSS!! I am here for that representation! As someone who isn’t ace but kind of falls in that area, I am so here for it!! <3

Also the way that James completely takes this in stride is so heart-warming and I love it! I mean he’s still a little shit with his medal comment, but also like, what a guy. I don’t know if this is what you were going for, but it feels very much like he’s just trying to use humor to make Remus more comfortable, and if so, what a lad! Such a sweetheart!!! <3 

I have to wonder if Peter is aware of what’s happening, or if he assumes James has… other company? I’m going to go with Peter knows and is cool with it, and that Sirius knows as well but he’s in detention so… :P

I don’t know why but the fact that you used the line “drifted to sleep, safe, contented, and adored” is just like… so fluffy and swoony and cute? It’s specifically the word ‘adored’ that gets to me and I really loved that line.

Also I had to double check what sin this was in reference to and I really enjoyed that you wrote this in context with lust, and also with Remus’s asexuality. The juxtaposition between what is normally seen as a very smutty sin (like literally the smuttiest sin), and this almost chaste scene is really great, and I really liked it!

Thanks again for writing this Melanie!! I’m loving this story and I’m so excited to get to the penultimate chapter!! See ya soon!
Lo <3

Name: maraudertimes (Signed) · Date: 12 Jul 2020 02:38 AM · For: Needed

Hello hello Melanie! I am here to review your entry to my challenge and I am so very excited to start!! Also for some broom racing because I am devious <3 ;)

Oooooh!! Debauchery! I am always down to read some delinquency! I liked the note that they really shouldn’t be anywhere near Hogsmeade, I think it just really adds to the humour in such a simple way. And ooh, are they planning to share with the other two at least? Also full disclosure I had to look up the word libations just to make sure it was what I thought it was, and it was, but just thought you should know that tidbit ;)

Alright James, I’m sure Rosie is the *only one* who thinks Remus is adorable, lol! Although the “for some reason” was unnecessary (although I totally would’ve pulled that kinda shit too, to try to throw off suspicion. Although huddling with your best friend under a small cloak really isn’t doing you that many favours in the subtlety department my deer boy (lol, deer pun!)

OHHH!!! The Kiss(™)!!! Awww they’re so adorable! And again, your characterization is on point with Remus being the one to hesitate and James being the one to go for it! Although you didn’t make it super obvious that they kissed (I mean you only had so many words), I think that it kind of lends itself more the swoony aspect. When they kissed did they drop any bottles? Do someone push the other up against a wall with the bookbag/bar smushed between them? I just wanna know!!

Thanks so much for writing this Melanie!!! I’m having such a fun time - although again, if you want to write me the kiss scene, I want it like yesterday, I would be so down!!! <3 Seriously tho, these small moments are leaving me wanting more, I’m truly very very selfish :P See ya soon for the next one!
Lo <3

Name: maraudertimes (Signed) · Date: 12 Jul 2020 01:03 AM · For: Protected

Hello hello Melanie! I am here to review your entry to my challenge and I am so very excited to start!! Also for some broom racing because I am devious <3 ;)

This chapter is very in line with what I think probably would have happened irl, and I really like your endnotes about how this is how you pictured it going even without feelings between them. I think it makes everything feel a lot more real and very possible in the context of the small amount we know from marauders era! As of this moment, I think this is my favourite chapter out of them all - it shows a really bad moment but it completely humanizes them and I really really love it, and it’s amazing that you managed all you did in such a small amount of words!

I think what really made it for me was the last line about James losing something. I mean personally I take it as losing Remus by way of getting expelled, maybe Sirius in the same way for how Sirius was the catalyst, and then knowing James’s story and the losses he will suffer (his parents, friends, then inevitably his life), I don’t know, that line just makes me incredibly sad for this poor boy. And obviously I’m mostly going to take it as James losing Remus, the person he’s not-so-subtly in love with, which makes it even more heart-wrenching (so you better be making me happier swoon, I want some happy happy kiss kiss!)

Thanks so much for writing this Melanie, the journey you’re taking me on is a fun (if currently melancholic) one. Be back soon for the next one!
Lo <3

Name: maraudertimes (Signed) · Date: 11 Jul 2020 09:36 PM · For: Seen

Hello hello Melanie! I am here to review your entry to my challenge and I am so very excited to start!! Also for some broom racing because I am devious <3 ;)

 

I have to admit, I'm not overly fond of Remus calling Lily a ‘monster' although I can kind of see the parallel there between jealousy(envy) and Lily actually having green eyes. So I think I get what you were going for, I just don't think I'm a big fan of the actual calling Lily a monster.

 

I do like how you made sure to mention that Remus doesn't hate Lily, and actually that part was incredibly relatable. Being in love with someone who is in love with someone else, you really do want to hate them, and when you can't it makes it that much worse.

 

I liked how Remus was so aware of how James looks at Lily in this heart-wrenching way. And the fact that he knows where she is at all times is again, so relatable. Of the three chapters I think this one hits the closest to home, because somehow you've encompassed the worst parts of having a crush on someone in such a small amount of words. I know they get together by the end (because it's a requirement lol and also the other chapters and the last line which I'll get to in a second), but as a standalone, this would be a really heart-breaking drabble about loving someone who doesn't reciprocate those feelings.

 

Also the last line is just so cute, because I think that again, it's so true that you never notice it when others are interested in you. This entire chapter is so small and yet jam packed with so many little nuances AGAIN! You are the master of tiny nuances and I love it!

 

Thanks so much for writing this Melanie, the story just keeps on getting better and better with each chapter! Be back soon for the next one!

Lo <3

 

Name: maraudertimes (Signed) · Date: 11 Jul 2020 09:35 PM · For: Humbled

Hello hello Melanie! I am here to review your entry to my challenge and I am so very excited to start!! Also for some broom racing because I am devious <3 ;)

Oh man! I remember seeing your tweet about this and it’s even better than expected. I mean James being concerned about his appearance is so on-brand and hilarious, but also the fact that he was so concerned about Remus’s opinion - oh babe!! (although remus is totally right on the ostentatious front, not sorry ‘bout it!)

Okay so this is where the banter went that I wanted from last chapter!! I really loved how Sirius and James really bounce off each other, especially Sirius’s teasing, ESPECIALLY because Sirius’ focus is entirely on something else! Iconic <3

Awww poor James, such a vain little man! Although Sirius is so right - how does James not know this? I mean I don’t know this fact about deer, but I live in the city so…

The last little bit is so cute, I can totally see James doing this! Your characterization already, in two exceptionally short chapters is amazing. I really love these takes/scenes of them. Especially the absolute last line! What a poor baby, go hug Remus, he’ll make it better. ;)

But actually, thank you so much for writing this Melanie, this chapter was gold, and a really funny read. Although it wasn’t completely romantical/swoony I can still see the slight nuances, and I really appreciate them!! Be back soon for the next one!

 

Lo <3

P.S. I totally entered the wrong review so I had to redo this chapter - so sorry, I'm a mess

Name: maraudertimes (Signed) · Date: 11 Jul 2020 04:25 AM · For: Nourished

Hello hello Melanie! I am here to review your entry to my challenge and I am so very excited to start!! Also for some broom racing because I am devious <3 ;)

Although I understand the drabble idea, I wish the first few lines of dialogue in the first chapter were longer to really get the feeling of Sirius ragging on James, although that's probably because I love those types of bantering scenes and from the small amount you've given me, I just really want more :P

I thought it was really sweet that James noticed Remus' lack of appetite, or more so the fluctuation of it due to the proximity of the full moon. It really shows that he cares about him, especially in James asking quietly, and Peter not making a big deal about it. I am a really big supporter of not shouting your friends issues somewhere public, and just that small thing was really sweet. ALSO almost forgot, but like thank you for including Peter being a really good friend on his own merit, I am always here for some well incorporated young Peter in marauders fics.

Also the way James is just not about to let him leave the table without eating is so commendable! KEEP YOUR FRIENDS/secret crushes ACCOUNTABLE TO THEIR OWN HEALTH!! "I'm here all night, mate" is also just such a great line because it means he'll stay however long it takes, and what a cutie. And of course Remus acquiesces <3

Thanks so much for writing this Melanie, I really enjoyed reading this chapter (although if you want to write me like a 5k chapter all about this scene and what happened before/after I would also be here for it lol)! James is such a sweetie. See you soon in the next one!

Lo <3