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It kills me in the best way that Draco refers to Ginny as “the she-Potter,” lmao, +1000.
Ugh, the breakup argument was tragic and devastating to my Romione-loving heart but… yeah. I think you did a great job with it, just like… their arguments are always about them sort of talking about the same thing, wanting the same thing even, but just missing each other, like talking along parallel lines but not intersecting.
I also honestly thought it was a really great and realistic strategy for this this story, to not end up with explicit Dramione, sort of hinting at it getting there, but in the end it’s about Hermione herself, and was always centered around Hermione herself, not a ship, and I just really appreciate that. <3
(fairyland reviewing)
I think what this chapter does well is like… capturing that feeling of having grown apart from someone before you’ve even realized you have. Where you can’t think of any logical reason why you’re not in love with them anymore, but you’re doing all of these subconscious things. Talking to other people instead of them, dancing with other people but not them, and obviously the amortentia. I think you ended up doing a really great job of walking that line of Ron and Hermione growing apart without either of them being the villain and I was really happy to get to work on it with you. <3
(fairyland reviewing)
God, Molly totally would be the sort to harp about her changing her last name.
I think the journal entries have been working really well throughout this story, mixed with the narration. It helps with the flow and showing the passage of time and the depths of her grief. And the passage of time, several months just within one chapter, really drives home like, how time is sort of passing her by and at the same time she’s feeling all of it, particularly on these significant dates, and it’s really demonstrating how as time goes by, it’s doesn’t necessarily heal, not right away, but rather it carries with it all these constant holidays and occasions that just serve as reminders of what she’s lost. Like the calendar year is just fraught with occasions for the grief to resurface again, and then the next year it’s going to be the same and just… ugh. <3
(fairyland reviewing)
God, okay, when I tell you I still absolutely love this whole idea of Harry reclaiming Halloween and having this massive party every year, it’s absolutely a headcanon for me now and I’m really gonna need more stories about it and/or I may have to incorporate that into some of my own stuff in the future. Ginny dressing Hermione as a cat and Ron as Harry, freaking hilarious, absolutely perfect.
But ugh, this whole thing about her having to get married without her mum, the dress fitting, just everything. It’s like a milestone that you see everyone else getting to share with their mom and just… it makes perfect sense that this event would be so fraught with angst for her when it’s supposed to be joyful. <3
(fairyland reviewing)
Like, I know you got hella heat from some Ron stans for this story on other sites, but I think what really rings true about this whole story is like… exactly what you told me when you were starting out writing it, that sometimes even the people you really do love and care about can’t comfort you effectively, for whatever the real reason is. Even if they’re not doing anything wrong. That even if they mean well, the effect the grief has just changes these dynamics so much. Like the way Ron is basically trying to be firm with her just like Draco, and he’s not being nearly as pushy as Draco is, but she’s still lashing out at Ron where she’s listening more to Draco.
The conversation with George was really lovely, particular the part where she talks about people saying they’re sorry and he’s like, “That never stops.” Oof. Packs a punch.
(fairyland reviewing)
I think what you depict here with what Hermione’s going through and everyone’s various reactions to it and to her just really gets at the heart of how so often even people who care, don’t really know the right thing to do or say — either because they’ve never gone through it themselves or never known someone who has, or maybe they even have gone through something similar, but they don’t know if what you need is the same thing they needed, or they never acknowledged what they needed, so how can they know what you need, or or or. You know? Like, Ron wants to help but he kind of just asks her what she needs when SHE doesn’t even know what she needs. And Draco kind of just charges in and is like, “Here, fucking do these things,” which is probably easier for him to do than most because he doesn’t have an existing relationship with her to worry about losing, so he’s not sort of tiptoeing around it. It’s just all a very complicated dynamic and I like that you’re exploring it.
<3
(fairyland reviewing)
I don't really think I'm ready to continue reading this right now, Cassie, but I find myself here anyway.
In my previous review, I mentioned the friend I lost when I was 23. He was hit by a car ten days after we graduated college. I still think about him all the time and talk to him when he crosses my mind. I put his picture on a memorial table at my wedding last year.
Then last month I lost my grandpa. We were so, so close, and it's so hard for me to even think about him still. I'm in tears right now just remembering that I'll never heard his voice again.
All of this to say that I loved this chapter. Certain parts hit me like a ton of bricks: Hermione's difficulty at connecting to anyone, even Crookshanks; Draco's first appearance and realizing all he's lost; The hard days always creep up on you. They get farther between, I promise.; the journal Hermione starts writing in-after my friend died, I did the same, writing him letters that he'll never read but which helped me sort through my feelings.
This chapter hurts, but I think it helps me too. I haven't properly grieved my grandpa yet. I think maybe this chapter has helped me start to do that.
Sincerely,
Emily
*for the Fangtastic Grimtown Carnevil on the forums*
Okay, I'm here again! ;)
The last scene... was that mother's day? We've never really celebrated mother's day or father's day much, so it's not something I think a lot about, but it must be hard... and of course Christmas is never easy... reading this story makes me so sad... (by which I mean it's very good and I'm so invested in it <3)
All the diary entries were so... hopeless? in this chapter... :( I only want Hermione to be happy!!! :(
At least the Christmas scene seemed a little happier, I guess! I loved the snitch catching tradition! Such a Weasley thing to do! :P I also really loved seeing Gabrielle... oh, and little Victoire and Teddy!!! I always love seeing them as little children!!! <3
It was really nice to see Hermione and Draco making progresses with their work together... although they seem to be getting a bit too close and I'm not quite sure how I feel about it? (I know you are a Dramione shipper, and I understand that he's actually being quite good for her, but considering that she's married Ron and how hard Ron is trying to make it work... it just doesn't feel right? And Harry noticed, too, and that worries me a little... I mean, I know they haven't done anything wrong, but the situation is just not... ideal? I'm a little bit conflicted here... :P)
Have to go now! Great job on this as always! Please, stop by my review thread anytime! <3
Snowball hug,
Chiara
PS Completely random note but... I found it sort of funny the bit about the surname change because it's not something we do in Italy and it baffles me a little every time... :P
Hi, Cassie, dear! Here for your request! Sorry it's so late...
Ah, Luna, always the observant one, even if in her dreamy-like way... :P I bet Draco would be all gloating after that! I had to laugh a little at that diary entry... :D
The Halloween party was such a great idea! I love that you included it! Did Ginny know about the Polyjuice mishap? I guess that's why Harry and Ron were so amused! :P And Ron dressed as Harry... *rolls eyes* But it is amusing! :P I wasn't really expecting Draco to be there? Things have definitely changed a lot, haven't they? It's nice to see that they are all moving on from their teenage rivalry... although I'm a bit worried about how Ron and Hermione will work as a couple...
Which brings me to the wedding... actually, before the wedding, to the dress fitting... I had almost managed to forget that she was so not okay in the previous scenes, but here it's just so evident! I'm once again a bit surprised to see her and Pansy being on such good terms... and Pansy designed her dress??? What??? But as I already said, I'm happy to see them all moving forward! What I'm not happy about is to see Hermione so skinny... and so uncaring... and still going through with the wedding even if she's clearly not in the right mindset for it... but I sort of see why she would want to get through with it, because it's just easier than actually think about it...
I was glad to actually see her smile and feel happy during the wedding party, though! And to see her laugh at Ron's cheekiness! It's nice to see them actually enjoying being together! To be completely honest, it's more than I dared hope, and I really wish they'll keep be happy, but I have very little hope they will... :(
Guess I'll move on to the next chapter now! See you in a bit! ;)
Love,
Chiara
Cassie
If I haven't already told you, I love you! This is the story I didn't know I needed. It has forced me to deal with all the emotions I've repressed. This was sad, maddening, and bittersweet all at the same time. I started reading this because it was the first story that popped up when I did a search for Dramione stories and I’m glad that Draco was the one to realize that she wasn't eating. I feel bad that they are both suffering from their grief but at least they each have someone who understands what the other is going through.
Thank you again for sharing this story with us.
Peace, Love,and Tacos
Tasha
WOW. Just Wow.
This chapter hit me hard and brought things to the surface that I had thought I'd moved past already. I lost my grandmother last year to lung cancer and then 3 weeks later lost my grandfather in a freak accident and I felt similar to how Hermione is right now. I felt like I was in a fog or that I was moving in slow motion while the rest of the world was speeding up. My parents had to claw their way out of their grief in order to force me to work through mine.
Now with that out of the way...
This was an incredible chapter! You did a great job capturing the emotions here (I've already said that..) I can't begin to express how much I didn't know I needed this chapter. The things Hermione went through here were felt on such a deep level and it takes a lot to get me there since I try to hide my emotions. I can relate to just going through the motions and not being present in situations. I don't think I would have gotten through the days and weeks following all the funerals without distancing myself from what was going on around me. It took a long time for me to feel normal again and for things to have meaning.
Thank you for writing this.
Peace, Love, and Tacos
Tasha
Hello again Cassie, ah, the way you describe feelings and the inner workings of Hermione's heart and mind is painful but word-wise it's so beautiful sometimes, almost sounds poetic, I really love this part of your writing.
I really loved the conversation Hermione had George in the beginning. It seemed like he was closest to offering her some understanding, he must be feeling an indescribable pain and he's right, it never really stops - the pain and the sympathetic glances of others. When Hermione said she wishes everyone would just fucking stop saying sorry, it was so raw because I imagine her as someone that doesn't swear unless she's really upset, so that was a very good choice of words for the given character in the given situation.
Ah, Ron and how he tries and fails, my heart hurts too much, but I really appreciate you working really hard to write him well even if he doesn't understand Hermione and there is now a rift between them that probably can't be repaired.
Draco still annoying Hermione and forcing her to eat, scheduling their meetings for lunch is very nice in a way that I think it's the only thing that really works and I guess she really needs that. The part with the tape was so heartbreaking. You paint the emotions so well and it's haunting how deep this pain can go. I hate to see Hermione suffering like this, I really hope she can start feeling a bit better soon. Malfoy needs to annoy her a bit more!!
All of this is so well-written, I really enjoy your writing. And thank you again so much for sharing this.
Eli
CASSIE.
Hello!! So, I'm on a mission to read and review every chapter of every Dramione on HPFT! And I see that you've written quite a few lately! I'm so excited to be here to read for you.
I have to start by saying that I'm definitely not a Romione fan. I don't particularly like Ron as a character, but I definitely don't like him as a partner for Hermione. I just think she'd need someone a little more serious (like Dracooo). I know this story will be primarily a Romione, but I'm okay with that since your writing is just so amazing.
The inciting incident in this story is heartbreaking. Losing a parent is never easy, even when they live to be old and gray, but Hermione is only 24 or so in this story. And I see that you were 26 when you lost your mom. I can't even imagine. I hope you've experienced softer days since then. And I hope this story shows some of that healing for Hermione too.
I think it would be easy for people who haven't experienced loss to judge Hermione for her anger at Ron. But I lost a very close friend to me when I was 23, and I remember lashing out at even the most well-meaning of friends and family. Grief does difficult things to us. But I think she's even more justified in her anger because Ron explicitly went against what she said she wanted. And then he scolds her for lashing out at him. Like...dude. She just lost her mom. Are you seriously going to keep antagonizing her right now? Ugh.
This was a really lovely first chapter. The emotions throughout it were very realistic. I remember my friend's funeral only vaguely because I was crying so hard, but what I do remember felt so similar to how you show Hermione's feelings here. Really wonderful job.
I'll read on soon!
Best,
Emily
Hi Cassie, sorry it took me forever to get back to your story. This was another great, in-depth and insightful chapter. Hermione is obviously trying very hard to fight, she's throwing herself in her work, she is willing herself to stay in love with Ron and hope for a better future, and all of these things are so very in-character for her. The transition of her focus shifting from Ron to Malfoy is very well done. While my little Romione heart is still bleeding, I can't help but appreciate some of the ways you write this story.
There is an obvious connection between Draco and Hermione because of the pain they share, and I find myself more and more intrigued by Draco's story and pain, what he went through or is probably still going through. A thing I noticed that I thought was very clever was that even if Malfoy annoys her, he is the only one that makes her feel a different emotion than the debilitating grief, and that is important and could be potentially helpful. It's like her irritation and anger at him ignites something inside her that can eventually pour some life back.Their interactions were very interesting to read.
I also like some of the little details of word-bilding you've done, of Harry cooperating with Malfoy for example. Also, love love love that Harry manages to make Hermione eat something and actually makes her smile with his stories of Teddy and Ginny. And another note, I love this little addition of yours of Hermione writing in a journal when she's having a hard time, like in 6th year. That sounds like something she'd totally do. Which makes the whole 'getting a journal from a stranger' all the more exciting.
Thank you so much for sharing this, Cassie. Will be back to read more for sure :)
Eli
Back again for your request and for the HC event! <3
"I still feel empty, though, from time to time. I forget Fred isn't going to come around the corner to talk about some new idea. That I can't go to him when I get stuck on an idea. Sometimes, I'm just fine until ... I'm not." Argh, I feel this so much! It's the small things, isn't it? That moment when you see something that reminds you of them, that moment when you wish you could ask for advice, but you know that's not possible anymore... time heals, but never completely... I absolutely adored every single bit of the conversation with George (meaning that it was like a punch in the gut, but it was written so perfectly! And I'm glad at least Hermione can talk to someone who can truly understand! It's kind of funny how George was once again telling her that she should eat more and that she should take time if she needs it... maybe if everyone keeps insisting, she will listen at some point?)
How does Ron manage to say the wrong thing every single time??? I know he cares, and I know he has the best intentions, but... Merlin, it's so frustrating!!!
Ahahah! Hermione writing in her diary how insufferable Malfoy is made me chuckle... :P Although it's kind of sad, too, because I think that what annoys her most is knowing he's right... :( And I get that she thinks that he has no right to dictate what she should do (he doesn't) but at the same time... she needs to react? I know it's easier said than done, but everyone around her is trying to lift her up and she does everything to shut them down... :(
I loved the scene at the White Rabbit (great name choice, btw) and I loved how Malfoy got his defences down a little and opened up to her a bit! They really have a connection and he really understands her much better than anyone else. I hope this will help in the long run!
Typical Ron, getting jealous... *rolls eyes*
The idea of Hermione withdrawing and listening to the recording of her mum's voice during her birthday party made me so, so sad... :(
Oh, btw, I really love the alternance of the diary entries and the narration, it's such a lovely stylistical choice in my opinion! I think your writing in general is so strong in this story! Great job so far, this is really good! <3
Lots of love and snowball hug!
Chiara
Back again (both for your request and the HC event)!
Are you trying to make me a Drastoria shipper? Because if that's your purpose, well... you might be succeding... almost... :P
The first couple of paragraphs really gave me the feeling that there is no connection between Hermione and Ron anymore (I hadn't realized that they lived together? Which obviously makes complete sense, but for some reason surprised me...) It feels like they are leaving two parallel lives. Close, but not touching. Which makes sense, because Hermione is so lost in her own head (and that's completel natural, too) but I wish Ron would open his eyes and realize that something is wrong and try to get through to her... but he is so oblivious... I mean, of course he knows she's suffering, and he is trying, but you can tell it's not enough? I find it so frustrating!
I would've thought they'd got rid of the toilet entrance after Voldemort's defeat? Totally unimportant note, just a thought... :P
Harry passing a hand through his hair nervously made me smile! I love that gesture because it's something that links him to his father and I always find it so cute, don't know why... <3 I'm glad he's trying to watch out for Hermione, I love their friendship! He clearly cares so much, and I thought it was incredibly thoughtful of him to suggest her to take some more time and delay the wedding... it's obvious that she doesn't feel ready for it, and the fact that she's just going through because it's easier makes me sort of angry... I wish she would listen to the people around her more...
I love all the details you put into the wizarding legislation and how much pureblood supremacists have influenced it and have tried to make it unchangable, it's such great worldbuilding! I do wonder why Draco is so invested in changing things? I mean, I get that he felt probably guilty about his Death Eater past, but it seems there are more personal, profound reasons here, and he doesn't want to share them, so it makes me wonder... we all have our promises we've made, which promises and to whom? Astoria? Narcissa? I want to know! (Btw, how hard must it have been for him, losing both his wife and his mother at such a short time from each other... :/)
How ironic that Draco can understand Hermione much better than anyone else? And how ironic that he is the only one who can actually make her feel something? (Even if that something is deep irritation... still, he makes her feel alive in a way no one else seems to be able to...)
I think I know who sent the diary... :P
Hermione should take better care of herself... not eating is not good... but again, it's not that strange of a reaction... I feel so bad for her... :(
I hope writing in the journal will help, if nothing else...
Another great chapter! I'll be back in a moment! <3
Snowball hug,
Chiara
Hello, Cassie, my dear!
I'm here for your request (super late, I know... forgive me...) and for the sandcastle event, too! ;)
Okay, but... this chapter absolutely broke my heart? Poor Hermione... you wrote her pain and grief so well, and I could tell you were writing from experience (I've been there too...) and I'm so sorry you had to go through it... losing a parent is one of the most difficult things, no matter how "prepared" for it you are...
I can't find it in myself to blame Ron, to be honest? He was just trying to do what he thought was best for her, she clearly needed a little break and some rest... but his timing was definitely terrible... and he did sort of force her will, and that's not okay, I guess... but at the same time... sometimes when we love someone we think we know better than them and in trying to protect them we end up hurting them more... and of course seeing something happening from the outside is not the same as being in the middle of it... so, yeah, I'm conflicted... and I probably have too many thoughts... I still wish Hermione would just forgive him, but I get why she can't. And, let's be honest, Ron did a pretty poor job at apologizing... :/
I really loved Harry in here! He's just the best friend! He understands both Ron and Hermione at such a deep level and I love the way he could comfort Hermione during the funeral, that was so sweet! I love how he kept Ron at distance, knowing full well that he would only make Hermione feel worse, (and not caring about how that would look like) but still tried to defend him with her! He's the best, that's all!
The last paragraph was the one that broke my heart the most, I believe. I know that feeling of apathy so, so well... and seeing someone as strong as our Hermione feeling that way is... heartbreaking, I don't think I have other words for it...
Wow! This was definitely an intense chapter! And so well written, you really did a great job with it!
I'll see you on the next chapter in a bit!
Snowball hug,
Chiara
Hello Cassie, Eli here from the forum.
First of all, thank you for sharing this. Writing about such deeply personal things can be both cathartic but also difficult. I'm really glad this story could be therapeutic for you and I'm sorry for your loss.
Your description of emotions throughout this piece is very intense and paints what I can only guess is a very accurate picture. The pain Hermione is experiencing breathes off the page and I felt myself hurting with her. It was all very vivid, all the little gestures, the fluorescent lights, Hermione suppressing flinching at Ron's touch.
Moments like these can be defining for a relationship in many different ways, and it seems that what Ron's done, however well-meant it was, will tip their relationship in a different way, and even though I am a diehard R/Hr shipper, I get it and I can imagine it as possible, because that's how life works sometime.
You still wrote Ron very well. He cares for Hermione a lot and it shows, but he's also headstrong and acts on what he believes is good for her in a very critical moment. I can understand him because he's probably waited and watched her wither for days if not weeks and then thought to himself, enough, she needs me to take care of her. Unfortunately this is how it worked out.
The nice thing about this is the connection Hermione has with her dad. As sad as this was, it's good that they're there for each other, understand each other's grief. It was also a very nice touch having Harry to be the one to comfort Hermione. Those two have such a beautiful and close friendship that I firmly believe Harry would be there in times and places where Ron couldn't.
A very powerful first chapter.
Cassie!
Okay, I’m gonna try to concentrate this review on this one specific chapter even though I know everything that’s coming, hah. All in all, you know, this story is a really illustrative, compelling exploration of grief and how it changes someone and their relationships to other people even though it’s nobody’s fault. And I know it’s very personal to you, so that makes it even more amazing, that you were able to tell this story and really describe the intense feelings, and the darkness, and the process of sinking and being consumed by it. It makes it all feel so real, or as real as possible, even for somebody who’s never gone through a loss exactly like this.
I did like how, one of the things you did to start the rift between Ron and Hermione, was a thing Ron did that seems justifiable in a lot of ways, or at the very least understandable, but it’s still something that’s a betrayal to Hermione, and something we can tell she won’t be able to let go of, even later on if she does think rationally that he meant well. Life is so often those shades of gray that sometimes look more black or more white depending on who’s looking at them.
Something I really like that you do it concentrate on people’s mannerisms, and little movements that not everybody might think to write. Like Ron looking to the side when he scoffs before he starts talking, or Hermione tapping the picture of the flowers she chooses before moving away -- things that really make the scene dynamic even when there’s not much “action” happening.
<3 Melanie
19-20 HC Finale - Gnome-Throwing (Yeet!)
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