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Hi, Juls!
I love happy endings, and it looks as if everyone is happy now.
Leander is almost satisfied that his ancestors didn't back the wrong side in the Battle of Bosworth Field. He and Edmund are opening a detective agency with the catchy name of Dead of Knight Detective Agency. The office space is being renovated, furnished, and decorated. Makendra has set up her little design studio in one corner of the office. Chaz now has a steady job managing the bar.
Now all that Edmund, Leander, and Makendra need is a steady stream of paying clients. Or at least enough paying clients to support their business, while leaving enough time to solve historical mysteries with the help of the ghosts whom they will be able to find, ghosts who can supply the information that archaeologists and historians so fervently wish to discover.
I have certainly enjoyed reading your story, and I'd be first in line to read another historical mystery story if you happen to come across another unanswered question from the past centuries of British history.
Good job, fun story!
Vicki
Dead of Knight Detective Agency! How cute! Also I loved Le's agreement to one pound an hour, to make it fair.
I like how you ended with the beginning to a new supernatural mystery! Clever! I wonder how that letter came about.
Thank you so much for entering my challenge, Juls -- this is a really creative story and I've enjoyed getting to go on this adventure with Le and Ed!
Melanie
Oooh what an interesting twist! So glad it turned out that Richard did not have them killed, but oof, WHAT a terrible misunderstanding of his words.
The little boys as ghosts were adorable -- tragic, of course, but charming -- the way they played and bickered with one another and were delighted that Ed could see them -- and I loved how you pointed out that while Edward was a king he was still very much a little boy, and it showed.
The moment when Ed felt his father's acceptance and blessing in the abbey was also beautiful!
Also, I very much enjoyed the wry humor of the fact that while Le doesn't burst into flames in a church, the holy water does still sting. :D
Melanie
He felt the overwhelming sadness shared by both of them. It felt like a weight on his shoulders, but he stood tall. He felt an importance of the moment and his witnessing of it - even if his understanding was a mystery to him.
I thought this was a really beautiful description of Ed's perception and experience of that moment!
Lady Margaret seems such a tragic figure and the sadness and somberness really comes through here. These past couple of chapters while Le and Ed have been at the Tower, you really express all these emotions and memories Le is having. I, too, wondered what the Tower could reveal to them that Le didn't already know, but I hadn't considered the possibility of finding ghosts who might have some information!
Melanie
wait is it back yet it doesn't look like it's back yet WHY IS IT NOT BACK YET
anyway this was amazing in case you couldn't tell from my deep and incoherent enthusiasm
oh you just HAD to drag roanoke into it didn't you THAT JUST RAISES FURTHER QUESTIONS
also though i love this interpretation so much!!
omgggggg that's so sad :sob:
The History. The World Building. oh my god. +1000. ELMOFIRE.
omg have you read daughter of time by josephine tey?? this keeps making me want to reread it but i think it's in a storage unit in new mexico rn :sob:
(this is the highest praise)
"the werewolf did run his own renovation and building business" is just *destroying* me i love it +1000 overall
OH MY GOD
doing some reading to vote and what the fuck omfg how did i miss this omg juls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hi there!
This was a very interesting chapter, it felt like a lot of his thoughts around the past and also what is to come and what they're investigating but it was a nice reflective chapter. I love the way you slip in the supernatural details and mix them up with more human things too, such as the dirt still sticking to him but the mirror is just a habit because it's empty, they're really great descriptions.
His background and history seem so interesting as well, I'd love to read more of that. There must be a lot of tales to tell for someone who's been alive for over 500 years and I'm excited to see what happens next now we're halfway through.
Shaza
Written for the winter in fairyland review event.
Hi there!
This just keeps getting crazier and crazier with the different characters that pop up, Chaz being a werewolf must make for some fun parties. It's interesting though, and different and I do really like it. I also like how casual they were when talking about whether he was going to be available or not. It was a nice change to everyone always being terrified though, that just sounded like a part of life.
Ed's got a lot of question for Le when he wakes up, I hope some of them lead to something, even if it's not the killer, they might be important leads and it did seem like he might be getting somewhere!
Shaza
Written for the winter in fairyland review event.
Hi, juls.
Wow! Now Leander and Edmund know what happened to the princes, from the lips of King Richard III himself. I love all the history in this story, both the real part about the known facts conceerning the British nobility, some more sad facts invented by you about the tragic figure of Leander, and the who-will-ever-know 'facts' about the true villain in the murder of the two young princes.
There are lots of ghosts in this chapter, the most unexpected of which, for me, was the ghost of Edmund's father appearing in Westminster Abbey. Leander and Edmund take the appearance of all these ghosts very calmly, as if ghosts are not realy scary. A good thing to remember, in case I ever encounter one...
I like the touch of your having Richard III stay in the vicinity of Westminster Abbey, where the young princes are buried, rather than at Leicester, where he himself is buried, becasue Richard feels that he has 'unfinished business' at Westminster, which I understand to be the taking care of the little princes. That is business that will go on forever.
Lots of good lines in this chapter. What a cool, original story!
Vicki
Snow Foxes
Hi juls.
Well, this is not turnig out to be an ordinary who-dun-it. Even with the cork board on the wall to help organize all his written papers, lists of people and dates and family trees, Edmund states the problem: "Nothing up there says who did it." He still doesn't have the smoking gun.
Makendra is an interesting minor character. In her own way, she's helpful in getting Edmund's information, his "piles of pictures and papers," into a visual system that makes the papers easy to acess and make connections. Even if it doesn't point the way to the answers of this particular case, it will come in handy for all the cases he's hoping to get in the future. And her enthusiasm and cheerfulness will keep his spirits up if he gets discouraged by a lack of progress.
Lady Margaret seems to be a dead end. But if Le and Ed can find a ghost in the Tower of London, maybe they can find ghosts at Westminster Abbey or Leicester Cathedral, where other major players in this tragedy are buried. Worth a try! Only two more chapters. They have to make a break-through soon.
A fun story. Thank you for writing it.
Vicki
Snow Foxes
Hi juls.
I see that the first lines of this chapter show Leander and Edmund back in Leander's bar again, but it quickly develops that we will hear more of the evening's Tower visit as a flashback. The short section of Leander's history after the age of sixteen, with the princes already dead, is doubtless history that Leander tells to Edmund as they go from the bedchanber of the princes to the Royal Chapel, probably a little lower down in the Tower.
I had no idea that there was a superstition that if a vampire entered a church, he would combust. That's funny. Leander's inherent goodness, despite the gory way he is doomed to maintain his life, is shown in his actions in the chapel. He still automatically follows the expressions of reverence that he learned as a boy.
I was surprised to see the appearance of the ghost of Lady Margaret. I had not expected ghosts. But that's a good way to get information, if they will talk to you. I went online to learn more about all these relatives of the English royal family at this time. Intrigue, bloodshed, beheadings...my gosh. It is easy to understand why Lady Margaret is reluctant to talk about what she may know; in life, careless talk could bring about your death, and it seems that she did end up being executed, as did her little brother, her cousins the little princes , and so on, and so on... But it's frustrating for Leander not getting to know what he wants, to clear his family's name. Makes you glad you were never a member of the nobility!
Continuing to enjoy your story!
Vicki
Snow Foxes
Hi juls.
The overwhelming trip of discovery begins! So Leander was actually a knight, Sir Leander Cross, knighted on the battlefield. I can just envision it! Was this the Battle of Bosworth Field, where King Richard III was killed? (It seems so strange to think that in those days, kings went out on the battlefield and fought alongside all the soldiers.)
It is good that Edmund and Leander can get entry to the tower easily, and after dusk. Because Bertie is in his street clothes, not his medieval-style uniform, and reference is made to the 'unorthodox' arrangement for the visit, it almost suggests that Bertie understands why the vist has to be after regular visiting hours. And it is very lucky that Bertie allows them to walk through the Tower without his accompanying them, since they eventually will see some ghosts. (Or maybe the Tower guards see ghosts themselves, sometimes, and take it in stride.)
To see this familiar place again, after the passing of over five centuries, would render anyone speechless. The outer world of modern London would be so different from what Leander saw during his youth, there would be no comparison, but inside the tower, it would be like being tranported far, far back in time It would weird any vampire out.
You do an excellent job in conveying Le's emotions that are stirred up as he walks through the tower, places familiar from so long ago. He proably feels as if he's dreaming. disoriented. He knows where he is, but not when he is. Your language here contributes well to this mind-blowing experience. Many ghosts floating in his head.
Vicki
Snow foxes
Hi, juls.
It looks as if this will be Edmund's and Le's big night. The nightmares that Le had while he was sleeping during the day are probably an indication of the anxiety he is feeling, whether he realizes it or not, about what they might find out. I wasn't certain at first what the reference to 'the hunt' was about, but then I decided that it was a real hunt for wild animals that Le (and maybe his fellow local vampires) are planning to undertake later.
I liked all the little references in this chapter to Le's earlier life in the fifteenth century -- his squire training, his youthful hairstyle, the fair maiden Gillian, his brother Ian, his learning to fight as an archer and a swordsman, the experience of battle, his father's suit of armor, the Cross family manor house. All these references really put us readers in the frame of mind for an evening exploring the history of the time of King Richard III.
Then there is the still-enigmatic reference to the folly of "his tilting at a windmill, as it were of his trip that had culminated in his turning." Some foolish action that ended up with his having become a vampire. Perhaps we will learn a little more about this reference later.
I certainly hope that Leander and Edmund will gain some more knowledge from this expedition, all sparked by the newspaper article about the discovery of the grave of King Richard III in Leicester!
Thank you for writing!
Vicki
Snow Foxes
Hi, juls. I had been wondering where Le got his amber bottles from. I guess there are always bags of blood at a hospital lab that expire before they are needed to be used. And we hate to throw anything away, right? It's nice that the family pitches in together to donate, bu a person should donate no more than one pint every eight weeks. This makes me wonder what volume of blood Leander needs every day, how many ounces or mls? Do vampires have a slower metabolic rate than ordinary people and thus require fewer calories?
I like how the chapter starts out, with Edmund recognizing that unless they can locate some hitherto undiscovered documents, the chance of solving the mystery by documents alone would be pretty slim. Those existing documents have already been studied to death. But the information that is stored only in Leander's brain -- now there's a possibility. But if there is such information and it leads to a solution, how will they ever be able to announce it to the world, given their other-worldly 'proof'?
Must go on to the next chapter, because I am sure you have something up your sleeve!
Vicki
Snow Foxes
Hi, Juls,
It looks as if Edmund and Leander are going to get started on this investigation right away. I know what you mean about enjoying doing the research for a project like this. You discover so much interesting material, and some of it can change your story because it's just the perfect little fact that solves a knotty plot hole or sends you off in a new direction. Amazing, all the stuff that's out there on the internet.
It appears that there is hardly an end to the list of possible candidates for the title of Murderer. One must shake one's head about all the mayhem that went on as people at the top of society jockeyed for the throne, for themselves or their sons. And I don't think that justice ever caught up with any of them.. They were truly above the law.
I'm still enjoying yur story. Will you find the real murderers?
Vicki
Snow Foxes
First of all, Wellington the escapee cat is my favorite. I mean, technically, any cat in a story is my favorite. But I do have a soft spot for chaotic kitties (as the mother to one myself), so Welly is a lovely little side character here. ;)
I like that this chapter focused on Edmund and that we got to see a bit of how his family became involved with the magical side of things. At first I thought that Lysander was Ed's brother—the first lines mentioning him weren't too clear—but then I figured out that he was his step-dad and that it's Lysander's side of the family that's full of magic and creatures and strangeness. Which I kind of love—that it's actually a bit removed from Ed. It makes it even more interesting to see that world through his eyes.
I love how close he and Le are. In particular, I loved the last line ("For Le he'd have done it for free.") because I feel like it really shows how much Ed appreciates him. It's really sweet.
Finally, "Esme"! Is that a Twilight reference I see? ;) Haha, I just liked the Easter egg there. Even if it wasn't intentional.
Great job! I'll read on soon!
Best,
Emily
*for the Fairyland review event*
Hi, juls.
Well, that's a complicated or at least extensive bunch of relatives. But it looks as if Edmund has fallen into just the right place to develop his Investigation career. I take it that he and his mother are the only non-magical individuals in this bunch, so he can count on having a lot of resources whener he needs them Cool!
I imagine that Edmund doesn't know what he's getting into, but this could be the case the breaks his career wide open -- fame, notoriety, offers of more cases, possibly historical also. I see a bright future opening up for him. And his mom thought he should go into a more stable line of work. Hah!
I'm loving it. You will have fun with this one.
Vicki
Snow Foxes
Hi, juls. Oh, a historical story. Just what I like. And your choice of lead character is inspired, someone who can have lived long enough to experience both the earlier British history and the present day.
Leander seems like a nice enough guy, so far, if vampires can ever be described that way. And his nephew Edmund (how many 'greats' that is would be hard to count) would be the perfcet person to try to solve the mystery of the deaths of the princes in the tower. Modern day forensics combined with the experience of someone who was actually there, in those times, someone with the inside knowledge of how the society functioned in those days, someone who could pick up the little clues that modern investigators would miss.
I am eager to see how these two work together as a team, each with his own talents. Sounds like a great premise!
Vicki
Snow Foxes
Hello!!
I was excited to check this out since seeing its Inky nomination, and I'm glad I have!
You have a way of drawing readers in with only a few sentences, and this first chapter definitely does that. You set the scene really well, showing Leander behind the bar and musing over his long, long life and the things he still considers. And you also introduced Ed as our deuteragonist. I can't wait to get to know both of them better.
You also did a fantastic job setting up the plot. I'm familiar with the story of the princes in the Tower, so I'm interested to know how you'll explore it here. Already, I love that you're adding in magical elements that will have history reshaped in this story.
Great job with chapter 1! Reading on soon!
Best,
Emily
*for the Fairyland review event*
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