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Ooh some great conversations are happening here and with such nice arguments to support points being made, and it’s all relatively polite too! THese kids could all absolutely work in government in the future, lol *joy emoji* i’m glad they didnt’ just kick james potter out though adn actually listened to what he had to say regarding the whole theodore nott and delphini situation and the trial and basically everything else in between. I’m surprised at how frank (to a degree) and open the girls were with him and max present too. Perhaps they’re realizing this is a potential opportunity for them to find some more things out and help their parents with sacred twenty-eight stuff. Hmm, puzzling. Great chapter!
~madi
Broom surfing
Another chapter that’s a witch weekly article woohoo! I am very happy your numbering is consistent and this is the next edition after the previous one in an earlier chapter! I also love your opening author’s note for this article *joy emoji* for calling this article exactly what it is, lol. What intrigues me most in this chapter is not, in fact, the beauty product promotions for the hogwarts students (surprise, surprise), but rathter the focus on the zabini family. Why is it so weird for a whole family to visit another family during the summer? I get that they’re part of the sacred twenty-eight and shit, but pansy & blaise are also old school friends, so is a family barbeque type thing so uncommon for wizards to do? Also, why would you leave your young children at home alone if you had other business to attend? IDK i’m annoyed at this journalist’s integrity, if you can’t tell :P
~madi
Broom surfing
Ooh shit’s heating up now wow!! The kiddies are on the train back to hogwarts and i love that the girls are into fashion and also like to subvert headmistress mcgonagall’s strict uniform standards when they can just because they’re petty and silly like that. The prefect meeting is certainly very interesting -- the script that india has to read sounds very much like ministerial garbage, even if it is supposedly true, but details certainly got lost when any strong verbs got sent through the wash in that document write-up. The questionable responses of some of our main cast aka kids of the sacred twenty-eight and then James sirius potter’s visibly sinking body as the events that concerned albus from the previous year were all written really well. You balance such a large cast with ease, which i must commend you on! Looking forward to reading more after that surprise visit & words from james potter in the girls’ compartment!
~madi
Broom surfing
hellO! Ooh we get a new publication in this chapter, or at least one i’m not familiar with in “The Constellation”. Nice title for this magazine/publication/newspaper, and love that it has significantly less editions than the daily prophet & witch weekly *joy emoji* This is a cool article describing a peace treaty that i can’t remember if it happens in CC or not but is still a neat way to illustrate how the world has changed since the second wizarding war, and how much has happened within the ministry itself to allow that to happen. Again with the art too, ahh so precious of little albus and dad!harry!! :D great for muggle/muggle-born slurs being illegal by law and making it harder for discrimination to occur based on blood status, woohoo!
~Madi
Broom surfing
I’m back for more! Oooh okay so we learn a bit more about how Pansy came to be a single mother, and I’m intrigued too still about her father but now that you’ve told me i have very long to wait to find that out, then that’s fine i guess :P I do like this addition of Marcus Flint to the story in this manner -- he’s not really seen as much more than a brute on the quidditch pitch in canon, so i like this depth you’re adding to him in this story. The inclusiveness of the kids to the adults at this meeting is actually quite a bit more than i thought it would be, but that’s kind of, progressive? I guess? of the parents to be so open with their children about this. Nice chapter!
~madi
Broom surfing
Hi again maia! I still love the ridiculous numbers you have in here for the edition number of the various magazines and whatnot, because it’s just a funny thing i chose to fixate on but it shows you took care to put the little details in! *joy emoji* Also omg such cute art and what a nice way to actually illustrate an article from Witch Weekly! Also, while this article is still gossipy and moderately vapid in the only way that witch weekly can be, the writer still brings up good points about the Sacred Twenty-Eight secret society stuff. They raise good questions too about the children who are still attending Hogwarts, especially those who are of age already. Great chapter!
~Madi
Broom racing
Hi Maia!
I'm really loving the way that you're switching up the narrative with the articles interspersed between the narrative chapters. It's a really interesting way of storytelling and it's so fun to read; it keeps me on my toes and gives me a much broader view of how society's viewing the Sacred Twenty-Eight at the moment, beyond Amelia's own perspective on the story.
I really got the sense from this that the wizarding world is turning its eyes on the Sacred Twenty-Eight much more intently after the events with Albus, Scorpius and Delphini. It feels like quite a dangerous sentiment, to be honest, to be targetting a group so much when there's little evidence of them having had any involvement in the events, but it does ring true that the media would look for a scapegoat in times like this. It's really interesting to see the way that it's progressed from the Second Wizarding War, demonising purebloods rather than Muggle-borns this time. It says a lot about what the media will do to keep up their sales.
Of course, I'm still not entirely sure what the Sacred Twenty-Eight's role is at the moment, so I'm reserving judgement there, but I'm definitely intrigued to know more.
I thought you captured the tone of the Witch Weekly article brilliantly here too. While the first article was quite insistent on facts and trying to remain impartial, this one reads much more gossipy and it's also singling out individual students (which is absolutely horrible and makes me so mad, but it's definitely something they'd do). It's giving us a really well-rounded insight into how the situation is developing and changing though and I'm looking forward to the next chapter!
Siân :)
(For broom racing.)
I’m back! This is so compelling, Maia, and I’ve only read the script book (?) for CC, but your characters and the other next generation kids discussed in this chapter are super interesting! Amelia is Pansy’s daughter, yes, but who is her father? Amelia says she’s a half-blood, so did Pansy have a fling with a muggle man that resulted in Amelia? Also, Amelia being a Ravenclaw is on par (caw caw motherfuckers) with you also being a Ravenclaw, and it makes sense the way Pansy is trying to datamine Amelia’s goings on at school. The threads are slowly being pulled together about this secret society of purebloods who sort of still miss the old ways and old beliefs, and I have to worry about what’s going to happen at Hogwarts with these children of war heroes and reformed Death Eaters. Nice chapter!!
~Madi
Broom Racing
Hey Maia!
Okay first of all, I love that the opening line is the Quibbler edition, and that it’s literally edition 4073, which is just an absolutely absurd number! I know you’re a huge fan of Cursed Child, and so I’m curious if this will be somewhat CC compliant in terms of characters/next generation kids and whatnot. Regardless, what neat way to open up a novel! The Quibbler was an independent journal during Harry’s Hogwarts years, so I can only imagine it’s gotten more independent since then, especially if Luna is running it (is she? *eyes emoji*) Anyway this potential secret society of pureblood families with not great track records in terms of past extremist views is very suspicious and I hope it gets figured out before bad things happen!! Also the attack on Hogwarts sounds dangerous, oh boy!! Way to start this off, lovely! <3
~Madi
Broom Racing
Hey!
This chapter was so good for the worldbuilding! I'm obsessed with all the details that you packed into your ravenclaw headcanon. I think it's so perfect for the claws that they have quiet times in the common room. It sounds a bit strict tbh, the thing about the first years being able to solve the first riddle of the year was a really nice touch.
I have to admit that all this ravenclaw talk really does make me realise that I'm very much not a ravenclaw! I thought it might be fun to try and see how I did at the riddle. I know you said it was easy but nothing was coming to mind with me. I would be sleeping outside. :P I love to see if you had any gryffindor headcanon because I loved how detailed you've been here.
I just love Millie's character again, she is so head strong but she's quite calm and fair too. I think it's just you do a great job at highlighting some of her ravenclaw side. I can't believe that boy just came up to her to ask her if she was a parkinson like 'what kid?!', I guess it shows the rumour mill working. yeah anyway there is so much depth to her character. I love her.
Abbi xx
Hey Maia!
This is so interesting! I love the use of articles so we can see how things are developing outside of the Millie's POV, I think it really fleshes out the story in a way that not a lot of stories do. I feel like you've made me kinda fond of nott in a way. The others speaks about him in such a way that makes him seem quite endearing though. They want the best for him. I don't think he is that evil somehow. I hope he gets a fair trial! I'll be interesting to know if any familiar faces will be character witnesses for him.
I thought the tone of this article was very well done too. It was quite professional as it seems to be mainly led by facts and not opinion. I do like the cheeky nod to insider information. Your articles are so effective because they each have their own tones and clear stance on the issues. The witch weekly style is a fab contrast to this article. It always provides the reader with more insight into the wider situation which I just love.
Abbi xx
Hi Maia, this chapter was really great for creating new dynamics between her friendships. I asked for more James and boy if I get it! I love how he is interested in helping out albus. He seems adventurous but caring which I like. I thought it was cool that you're teasing all the roles that team might play like Max being a good journalist/investigator so he might come in handy. I'm so impressed with how you've balanced the shift in dynamic in the wizarding world. The ministry hates purebloods is an interesting statement considering it wasn't too long ago that purebloods run the ministry and the oppressors in society. I think the concept to explore the other way around and how that affects the younger generation. I know you're very active in your political views so choosing to put your passions into your writing is wonderful. I love the inclusivity of a deaf character, I think that seems very rare representation. I love your headcanon around her box which helps her communicate and how excited flickwick is. Good job on this chapter - abbi xx
Hey!
Your witch weekly chapters are so good! I love them because they're so fun and the tone of the article is just so spot on for the gossip section of newspaper. I love that this chapter is just really random speculation. They have nothing to go on but it's just an excuse for a photograph and to stir the pot! I'm starting to feel a bit sorry for the twenty-eight like obviously not angel but surely not as bad as the press that they are getting!
I love the worldbuilding when the article changes over to beauty section. I think it's just cool and unique to that in there. Again, I just had to laugh at some of the content like honestly?? James Potter is single again lol, I don't even wanna start with the whole 'there's no important gift than beauty', that's a hell of problematic but honestly it just shows the 'reliable' source that is witch weekly!
I feel like I should be letting artist anna know that her drawings are super good too, I love that you paired up with her to add this into your fic! It just adds something a little extra special to it!
Abbi xx
Hey!
It's great to see Amelia back at school and having more interaction with a range of people. it looks very promising. I like Pansy and Millie's dyamic a lot but it is nice to see her interacting with her peers. I feel like people are different when friends oppose to friends are around and I'm liking to get to see a bit of Millie in this way.
I thought her friendship with Bella seemed interesting, I liked their section of dialogue together in the beginning. They seem to have a quite fun back/forth banter between the two of them which I liked. They seem to be close. I thought it'll be nice to see a ravenclaw party, i love that ravenclawness is coming through with party after books rule :P
I want to see more of James! I liked the look of him from this chapter, the fact that he is leading them to rebellion already is awesome. I liked that was the ending to the chapter because I want to know more about where they're going and how they plan to explore more about Delphi. I also really liked how James was really clear about Albus' experiences like he called it what it is. Albus was groomed but I think that's kinda glossed over in general. James for Justice!
Abbi xx
Hey Maia,
So I love the worldbuilding element that this article has presented to the audience which is really fleshes out and add new ideas into the plot. I thought that idea of some kinda treaty makes sense as it's something that is done in 'muggles war' all the time but I've never seen this type of thing explored in fic before. I feel like this story is bringing a lot of new things to the table for me as a reader which is great.
It feels like some of those things must be difficult to enforce which may causes some issues like what is taught in the home to kids. I think making it a criminal offence to use those type of slurs is something that is well over due in the wizarding world and makes total sense. I think that looking back on it, it's kinda crazy that those type of slurs were thrown around as freely as they were. They should be completely unacceptable.
The idea that media is present in celebrating that those that died is a really nice thought. They totally deserve that so pleased to see that representation in this chapter for it.
Abbi xx
Hey penpal,
I'm back! hello!
I love Millie's character, I think she's so principled which I really like. She isn't afraid to stand up for what she believes in is so nice particularly when she is faced with adult company like in the first section. I love the conflict that theodore's arrest has, millie knows they're friends obviously and she wants to help but she can kinda acknowledged when happened was wrong. I can't wait to see more of her interaction with James which have been teased so far.
I liked how we're been able to get an insight into pansy's background. I think there is so much scope to be creative about whats happened to everyone within that time. I liked the explanation of her bond with Marcus helping her get back in the twenty eight and being positive for her.
I can totally relate to that random british heatwave. I think you're doing really good job at exploring the slytherin/pureblood culture. They do seem very believeable as being quite peaceful but they stick together because they struggle without each other with prejudices. I think it's very unique to look at in from which I really like so far.
I can't wait to see Amelia interacting with more characters in the next few chapters!
Abbi xx
Hey!
I'm back again!
I love the structure that you're doing now! I think this is really quirky storytelling. I knew you did it for your opening chapter but having an article as a chapter. I was expecting it but it really works! I love this type of narration.
I love how you've changed up the tone from the last article that we saw, i like that we can get a different aspect to it. It seems like this one is rather gossip-y but I thought you pitched the tone perfectly for this type of publication that I can only assume that it is some rita skeeter type that is the author of it haha. I love that biased the nature of it. It really really goes well for building up the stories/myths around the sacred twenty eight.
The art was a really cool touch to add into this chapter, I did wonder if it was you that draw it but I see you've credited an artist in the notes. no gossipy article is complete without pictures now is it? The caption for the photo is pure gold too. you've really build up this interesting snap shot of the sacred twenty eight like it's obviously that public opinion is getting a bit nervy about them if the media is busy spreading 'baby deatheater' stories. There seems like there is a lot of unrest in the air. This was a brilliant addition to flesh out the story further.
I can't wait to see whats going to happen next!
Abbi xx
Hey Maia (I'm so sorry about my last spelling mistake in the last review!)
It's so cool that we're getting to know Amelia, I think beginning works well to introduce a bit of thought process to Amelia's life and what's going on. I think she has a really clear personality from early on. I love her ravenclaw-isms already! I've never read anything that is covers events from the cursed child so that'll be really interesting to see what develops because I feel like the ending does leave a lot to the imagination. We don't get to see the fallout from some the events. I'm happy that you're expanding on this idea.
Amelia has a lot of things that are going on in her life at the moment. you've weaved some of those into the story. The development of the gryffindor boys hanging out with them, the fallout of the death and imprisonment, her relationship with her mother. There are so many interesting strands leading into this story.
I love Millie's sass to her mum, 'you only talk about ministry failings and biscuit recipes' love that so much. I think the whole interaction is just perfectly played really in a humorous way. Pansy is kinda great in a way, i love her 'i'm great and i know it' kinda thing that you've going on. I think it's very interesting that she seems so obsessed with what is going on. like too interested perhaps? i guess she's protecting the sacred twenty eight. I feel like Millie has a very complicated relationship with the society being a ravenclaw, I want to see this develop a bit more in future chapters.
Abbi xx
Hi again!
This was such an interesting second chapter, especially after the article introducing us to the set-up for this story. I really liked the way that this focused in on Amelia's character and how the events are affecting her. It's really interesting since watching Cursed Child you don't really think about the repercussions for other people outside the small group involved in the play, but here it's clear that there are much wider effects for people.
Amelia's characterisation is also really interesting! I liked the way that you gave us glimpses of her personality and circumstances, with the stress of the NEWTs, her anxiety, her identity as a Ravenclaw and then the tension that brings with her mum, not to mention the connection to the Sacred Twenty-Eight through Pansy. The conversation that she had with Pansy when she was at home for the summer was intriguing - I feel like I'm not entirely sure of the role the Twenty-Eight are going to play in this story yet, because while they seem harmless enough to this point, there's definitely potential for that to change. Maybe they'll become dangerous in response to being put in danger? I'm so curious to see where this will go and what Amelia's summer will pan out like!
Siân :)
(For broom racing .)
Hey Maya,
I really like the way that you've used the newpaper as a way of your narration for this opening chapter. I think it's a cool way of getting out more information about the story in a natural and unique way. I also think it's great because other forms are media are more likely to form biases when sometimes need unpicking. It mostly seems like the quibbler is just here to offer the general fact about the siutation but a little spectualation like the facts about why some
It opens a lot of different aspects to your mystery, you've slipped in the attack on hogwarts in this chapter quite flawlessly honestly which has peaked my interest in whats happening up. It is cool to see how that is going to develop from here. I know your story is action/adventure/mystery here. You've set it up nicely I thought because you mention some of the key players within the story (harry and theodore nott) and background material needed to flesh out the concept a little better for the audience both in an framed in an engaging way.
It's not what I expected from a opening chapter but it's really hook my interest in the story. I'm really looking forward to meeting some of your other main characters soon!
Abbi xx
Hi Maia!
Ooh, an epistolary first chapter! This was a really great introduction to your story, and I liked the way that you laid out the facts about the Sacred Twenty-Eight as they stand today, so we have more information on them and their current status, before we go onto the main narrative. It was such an intriguing way to start, and I liked the idea that the Quibbler's younger readers had asked for some more information - it felt like we got to learn more with them, and was a great premise for the story. The tone of the Quibbler article was also different to the stories we know about from earlier on, which was a really interesting way to show how it's developed in the time since the books finished!
The Sacred Twenty-Eight is such an odd concept, but it makes for such an intriguing premise for a story. There's definitely some mystery here, with Theodore Nott's recent arrest and his confirmation that certain families were still meeting. I'm curious about what prompted him to reveal that fact during his questioning, and whether the families are just meeting up for old times' sake (for want of a better word) or whether there's something more sinister going on behind it. It was really interesting to see that the Quibbler kept reiterating the fact that there was no reason to suspect these families at this point, too, echoing what Harry's quoted as saying. It makes me think that they're publishing the story in what might be quite a volatile time - that there's potential for this suspicion to cause problems and discrimination, because there are already underlying tensions there. I'm so intrigued to get to read on and learn more soon!
Siân :)
Hello Maia!
I saw your post about the Sacred 28 on the forums and was intrigued, so I was drawn to this story right away when I looked at your AP.
I really love "found artifacts" type stories, and I wish I could go on to the other chapters of this and see what other types of texts you use to convey this information. Another time, I suppose. Anyways, what you did with this as a magazine artivle was very clever :)
The Quibbler's interpretation of the Sacred 28 in modern times is quite a generous one. I suppose they don't want to cause people to jump to conclusions, but it's hard to believe no one from any of those families is involved in some kind of blood-prejudice activity. This also seems like a less outwardly biases report than The Quibbler usually wrote during Harry's time, which matches with them becoming more of a major news source.
I am curious if your opinion and the Quibbler's opinion of the Sacred 28 is the same :P
Reading about specific characters and families, and how people are included based on a lot of things that aren't actually about blood status was really interesting, and such an important thing to point out. I bet there's a lot more about all of this in the other chapters. :D
Really unique and interesting premise, and an intriguing start. Well done!
xx Renee
Hey! This was such an interesting introduction to your fic. I've never read one that started with a quibbler article. The sacred twenty eight have always been mentioned, but never explored. I think it's really cool that you're looking into their background in more detail! I hope there is some truth to this chapter - I would love to see a sacred twenty eight meeting in action! Harry and Draco seem to be ignoring it....so perhaps it's a cover up?! I'm intrigued to find out more!
A nice introduction to this story, I'm keen to read on.
Bex
Author's Response:Hi Bex,
Thanks so much for the lovely review! There will definitely be a lot more seen of the sacred twenty-eight meetings but in good time. There's a lot of dodgy stuff going on there that I'm excited to reveal.
Maia
Hey there! Lily here for bvb. I'm always looking for new and interesting stories to read and yours sounds really intriguing. This prologuey/news article chapter was a really good way to preface your work and I think it definitely provides some suspense towards what will happen in the rest of the story. However, a little bit more background would be nice. Though I can assume that there will be much discussed in the next chapter.
I'm really wondering about quite a few things. Your take on the Sacred Twenty Eight is something I'm really looking forward to because I have read another one or two stories (the first chapter or two) where this is the common theme. I am sure that your way of writing it will be lovely and original though.
Attack on Hogwarts? You're definitely hooking people in with that line. This is most certainly something that would make people want to read on to the next chapter. It's definitely that way for me, but I think the reason I mostly want to continue above all was that you promise some Albus Potter/Scorpius Malfoy in the pairings tag. It used to be my favourite ship (before Cedric and Oliver came running after the title like the mad competitive dogs they are) but they are still a squee top three and I owe my heart to anyone who writes them well. I'm exccccittteeeed!
Overall I have no constructive notes, your story really has no punctuation or grammar or plotline errors so far. In general it's just spiking my interest and lovely.
Please keep writing and I hope to head on to the next chapter soon!
Yours,
Lily
Author's Response:Hi Lily,
Thank you so much for taking the time to writing this reveiw, I really appreciate it!
Hopefullt the context of everything starts to take shape over the next chapter. I'm sort of going for a POV effect throughout so there will be gaps in the readers knowledge on purpose, but I hope it remains interesting and works, please let me know if it doesn't hit!
I'm really excited to get to the scorbus stuff really soon. They're my favourite ship and I'll be exploring them from a different POV than I ususally do, so I hope you enjoy.
Thank you again,
Maia
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