
Hey there! Here for the fairyland review event. Congrats on being a finalist for the Inky's! :)
What a heartbreaking piece! I was curious about the dream journal challenge, and I think you really delivered on the challenge's parameters. There is so much emotional complexity, and the storytelling mechanism is just as complex. I don't think I've ever read Tonks/Charlie before, but this fic might have opened a new ship potential for me! ;) It makes sense that they'd be love interests--or at least thick as thieves.
The other relationship you explore in this piece is Charlie and Bill; I always imagined that they would have a good relationship, since they were the eldest of the Weasley kids, and they seemed to be "adults" as soon as the HP series started, a bit ahead in their lives than the rest of their siblings. Even though it's slightly annoying for Bill to be writing in Charlie's journal (as is common with sibiling interference), it's also very well intentioned and heartbreaking. We not only get a glimpse into Charlie's horrifying dreams--we get to see what's happening in the conscious world. Charlie is not coping well after the battle, and Bill and Fleur are so worried about him, trying to reach out to him. I'm glad at the end that Charlie acknowledges Bill and is willing to talk--it takes time, but he gets there, which ends this story on a hopefuly note.
That said, I think you capture the sheer heartbreak and agony of dreaming of loved ones when they pass. Sometimes they behave like themselves, other times, they're acting all off, and your lingering grief and guilt and shame contort the dream into something rather unpleasant. I can relate to this hardcore, and I think you captured this very well.
Hii!
I'm here reading for the inky's finalists!
I love me some Charlie/tonks and always felt their's would be a lot of angst given we know what happened in canon. But gosh, Bill!!! My heart goes out to poor Charlie who's hurting, and Bill who's hurting because Charlie is. I just want to hug all the Weasleys now :(
Aha Charlie with a dragon tattoo is such a favorite headcanon of mine! I love it! The dreams just alluded to a love born out of the warmest of friendships, and that's how I see Charlie/Tonks too OMG this is so close to my heart/headcanon right now - you've just consumed me with this fic!
I totally picture Charlie leaving Tonks for dragons - foolish, impulsive, immature, young, Charlie - true to his Gryffindor heart. Survivor's guilt is just so real, so palpable in this. Oh what Charlie must be going through... and Bill is just a dear.
It might be overly intrusive reading Charlie's diary but a concerned, scared, worried out of his mind brother was perhaps able to just be there because he at least had a smidgen of insight into what happened. I believe that persistence is what emboldened Charlie to reach out eventually - and on some level Charlie wanted his brother to keep reading - he wanted someone to know his pain - and gosh that gives me all sorts of feels.
Love love this fic! Congratulations on being an inky's finalist!!
~ Ysh XOXO
Ummm...
So I'm crying. Wow.
Okay, focus, Gina.
This is beautiful. I didn't read the summary (I don't even know if there is a summary) so I came into this completely blind and I feel like that added to my enjoyment because it felt like a mystery I had to unravel. At first, I didn't know who Chuck and Nym were, but that became more and more obvious as I read. Then I wasn't sure who the person writing to Chuck was, but there were enough hints about their childhood that I realized it was Bill just before the ending when it was confirmed.
Gahhhh, this is so powerful. You handle the emotions expertly. Nothing felt over-the-top, it just... was. So simple and yet so poignant. You can just feel Charlie's regret and longing, and then there's Bill's desperation to reach his brother and ease his pain. The line when Nym tells Charlie it was "too late" just about ripped my heart out, and then the ending--that's when I started crying. The simple "Hi Bill" indicating that he's ready to heal, ready to reach out to his family. I want so desperately for him to be able to go back and do things differently, to have time with Nym, but also I know that she was happy with Remus as well, and even if the love they had for each other was fleeting, it was still real and beautiful and special.
Damn this is great.
xx Gina
Hey there! Congrats on being an Inkys finalist :)
Charlie and Tonks make me go all *squishy* but this is hella angst so you know, it’s fine, just break my heart this whole fic through, it’s totally fine, I’m totally fine. :sob: Tonks appearing to him as a younger version of herself, from when they were at school, and could be so young and carefree makes me saddddd. But you know what makes me the most sad? BILL. WRITING IN CHARLIE’S JOURNAL. BECAUSE I TOO WOULD BE SCARED IF I SAW MY LITTLE BROTHER SLEEPING NEXT TO A SLEEPING DRAGON!! Also, Charlie with dragon tattoos isn’t a headcanon I’d thought of before but honestly I’m here for it. Hi thanks for making this the angstiest thing I’ve ever read and making me feel all the things about Charlie and Tonks and what they could have been but weren’t ever given the chance to be. I’m going to go cry now. :P
~Madi
Fairy foxy review event
Hi there!
That was such an interesting fic, I loved the way you've formatted it with the journal layout. It felt like we were looking into Charlie's mind while he slept and seeing all the things he wished he could have said to Tonks. It's so heartbreaking that he left and then by the time he came back it was too late. It must be so hard to have to say goodbye without a proper goodbye.
I also loved how you showed Bill and Charlie's relationship in this too, Bill just always waiting for Charlie to be ready to talk to him and help him when he's ready. I think the ‘Hi Bill' at the end was such an effective way to end it. A really great fic.
Shaza
Written for the winter in fairyland review event.
Okay. Hello. I am not okay.
This story was something I was in no way prepared for. Obviously from the summary I knew it would be sad...but I was not at all prepared for just how sad. It was stunning. It's going into my Favorites as soon as I'm done reviewing here.
The way you write about grief and loss took my breath away. I lost one of my absolute best friends when we were 22. For months, I'd dream of him, and even now, 6 years later, I still dream of him sometimes. And he's never older than 22. And that breaks my heart. This made me think of him so much. I think the missing-him will never really go away; it's just become softer to deal with.
Charlie's letters to Tonks are so beautiful. The heartbreaking dreams he recounts are vivid and so lovely but so sad. The very first description of the massive purple jumper with her bright yellow fingernails poking through the holes in the sleeves...wow.
And Bill's notes as he tries to show his brother than he's there for him...that really took my breath away. The honesty in his fear for Charlie was just incredibly vivid. And the last line. Holy shit, the last line. "Hi Bill." Oh.
I just...wonderful job. This was stunning. I have to take some time to pull myself together after this one. In the best way. <3
Sincerely,
Emily
*for the Fairyland review event*
let me just....let me just pick myself up off this floor on which i'm curled up...
That was amazing. That was heartbreaking. That was so uniquely written, what with the dream notation and Bill's messages, tied together into the ending that gives us hope. A great love story barely told, but all the stronger. I wish I knew more about these two. I wish Charlie had had a chance to say a proper goodbye and find closure, but he will, won't he?
Excellent story
Author's Response:THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU. I was so worried writing this that I wouldn't do justice to the subject and I'm so pleased that you think it worked. I think Charlie will find closure in the end, but he wasn't ready yet in this story. I really really appreciate all these lovely lovely reviews you angel xx
I am here (very late) for our swap!!
OMG, this entire thing was heartbreaking!! Truly, it was so achingly sad, but so beautiful.
I really loved the switch between Charlie and Bill. Until the end I couldn't exactly tell who it was, since it could've been any of his siblings (unless I totally missed something because I'm that type of person), and I thought that was really cool. It made me think about all the possibilities of who it could be, and, I don't know, it was really cool to think about all the relationships between the siblings, so if that was your intent, you killed it.
The dreams being so obviously dreams was interesting. It was a very harsh thing to know that even though this is everything Charlie wants, he knows it's not real. Kind of a parallel to the resurrection stone. It was really heartbreaking, especially when it shows that they were really close and really did love each other.
And then Bill's parts were really in jarring contrast to the dreams. And even though everything he was mentioning seemed very fair for someone that is dealing with the trauma and grief that Charlie is, it also seemed very fair that he was concerned, and his writing in Charlie’s journal was really a great way to show that.
I really loved the storyline with Tonks - in fact I was dumb and didn’t realize it was Tonks until the end, which is why I loved that Charlie called her Nym and she called him Chuck. It really demonstrates how special they were to each other.
And the ending was perfect, with his dreams Tonks letting him go, and with him reaching back out to Bill. I thought it was so achingly heartbreaking, as I’ve said, but so beautiful at the same time.
Thank you so much for writing this so that I could read it, and thank you so much for the swap!
Lo <3
Author's Response:Lo! Thank you so much for all your thoughtful words. I'm so pleased you liked this one - I was a bit worried it was going to be too depressing for people to enjoy...
I didn't deliberately try to hide that it was Bill but I'm glad you enjoyed it not being obvious. I think any of the brothers would have been there for him the same way, but I've always thought Bill and Charlie had their own closeness that went above what they had with the rest of hte family.
Thank you thank you!
Hi Emma!! Here for our swap!
I really liked the direction you took this dream journal challenge, turning it into a dialogue between Charlie and Bill. At first I was all like *staring eyes* at Bill for reading Charlie's journal, although given the circumstances I think a lot of people would be tempted and would actually do it, and then initially I was surprised that Charlie kept writing in there knowing what Bill had done, but in retrospect perhaps it was Charlie's own cry for help?
I really enjoy your characterization of Tonks (Nym!) through Charlie's eyes. There's such a nostalgic, coming of age feel to the images in his memories, the two of them teenagers hanging out together, Tonks with her overlarge sweater and her thumbs poking through the holes, unraveling the threads as they talk.
You're able to provide so much backstory in their colloquy in these dreams, what they meant to each other and what happened between them. In the end, it's sad to feel like he has to lose her again, but her saying she has to leave his dreams is maybe a way of him accepting that he has to move on. He can spin it in his mind, in his dreams, as having to let her go because she can't stay there, but really it's that he can't stay there.
The "Hi, Bill" at the end broke me, and then I noticed that he wrote that a full month after Bill's last note, with no entries in between, and I am FASCINATED. I mean, there's so much information missing, but I think it works that way! My mind has questions but also answers at the ready. Bill clearly understands when to back off and let Charlie come to him when ready; and for his part, Charlie knows or suspects (probably rightly) that Bill is still checking the journal a month later hoping for an answer.
This was a really lovely meditation on grief and love.
Thank you for the swap! <3
Melanie
Author's Response:Hi Melanie!
Thank you so much for another lovely review! I love your writing so much it always feels like an honour when you like mine!
I didn't want Bill to seem like he was overstepping boundaries by looking in the journal, but I think he knew it might be a problem. But then I think the boundaries of what's acceptable change when somebody's really suffering and think most people would be tempted to intrude if they thought it might give them some clues as to how to help.
I tried to leave it open as to what exactly is happening during the dreams and why Nym has to leave, but I agree with you that really it's Charlie's own acceptance that he needs to move on. However real they feel, the dreams are happening in his own head and are his own process of recovery.
At first I had the "Hi, Bill" happen a few days after the last dream, but that didn't feel very true to me. I don't think Charlie would accept Nym's disappearance after one dream of her not being there. I imagine he had variations of that final dream over the next month and needed that time to start to accept it and feel ready to talk about it (but I didn't think it would make very exciting reading to keep showing the same dream again and again).
Thank you so much! Emma xx
Hey Emma! I am here for our review swap and let me just say that I really liked this story. It was really cute yet sad and poignant. I don't know much about the Dream Journal challenge but if definitely seems like you satisfied the requirements.
I thought it was really interest the way you had Charlie writing in his journal but you couldn't necssarily tell he was writing right away. And then having Bill talk to him through the journal is really ingenius. I am wondering if he lives with them? It seems like he does, especially with Fleur's constant worry about him.
Lots of people ship Charlie and Tonks and it's nice. It's definitely not my favourite ship but I really enjoyed the way you wrote them being like "almost there" but not quite. They're still in that weird space between friends and something more.
Bill and Fleur's concern is definitely warranted. Falling alseep next to a dragon! Oooof, Charlie might end up with his eyebrows singed off.
Your dream sequences (which I guess was pretty much the whole thing) were really well done and super engaging to read. Very enjoyable. No notes! This story was absolutely lovely. And I really love how you ended it with Bill telling Charlie that he is here to talk whenever and Charlie responding with "Hi Bill." That was a super perfect ending. Amazing story and I wish you the best of luck in the challenge!
Love
Lily
Author's Response:Hi Lily! So pleased you liked this story. It's sadder than I usually like to write but I have a special place in my heart for Charlie and Tonks.
We always see Bill and Charlie as very close, and Charlie was best man at Bill's wedding, so I imagine that Bill and Fleur might take Charlie in after the war to support him in his grief (and have him around while they grieve too).
I don't *ship* Charlie and Tonks, exactly, because I like her with Remus and don't like undermining canon pairings, but I like to imagine that they have a history from being at school together. We see so little of Charlie's relationships and friendships in canon, but I could imagine him falling hard for Tonks and just not really knowing what to do with those feelings until it's too late and she's married.
Thank you so much for such a thoughtful review! Emma xx
Oh my god. Emma, this was so good! It kept me hooked all the way through, just when I thought I had a handle on what I thought was going on, something new came up that surprised me and kept me guessing again!
I loved the way you wrote the journal. It felt like a complete story rather than just snippets of a dream journal. It read as a beautiful narrative, and I especially like how it was written in second person. Mostly because it left room for such a big reveal at the end! Now I that know who Nym is, I feel a bit silly for not realising it sooner. (I didn't even pick up on the pink hair, or her connection to Bill, maybe I'm just tired haha) You threw me off and it was very clever and meant I got to experience the story fully and it impacted me hard (in a good way!) Even the mention of her wedding ring threw me off because I thought maybe she and Charlie were married, but now I understand it was Remus! I love when stories move me like this!
And Bill writing in the journal was an incredibly sweet and touching detail. He has so much concern for his brother and this is the only way he feels he can reach him. So of course I especially loved when Charlie finally wrote back! It just works perfectly for a story written in this format!
I'm going to get kind of real here, but I loved the way Charlie kind of healed from the dreams of her fading, because I've actually experienced a similar thing when my friend died. That's why this story has resonated with me so much! You've done a really beautiful job here, Emma. I loved it so much. Good luck in the challenge!
Author's Response:Hi B! Oh wow thank you so much for such a thoughtful review. I'm so glad that this story carried some meaning for you and your own experiences (although am very sad and sorry that you had those experiences - poor you sending many many virtual hugs). I've always imagined that Charlie and Tonks would have been friends. We know they were in the same year at school and they have so much in common that I can't imagine them not becoming very close. This story's been floating around in my head in various forms for years now and the dream journal challenge gave me a way to focus it, so I'm really pleased you thought the format worked.
Thank you thank you! And thank you so much for the SOTM nomination! Emma xx
hi emma! this story looked lonely on reviews so i thought i’d drop by! <3
damn, already this story is off to a sad start. :^( the grief and sadness in “my darling. my nym,” is so apparent.
I’m assuming that this takes place after the war or something? because nymphadora is clearly dead and…
the fact that charlie finds it so hard to go to work when his work was something that he dearly loved is a like a punch to the gut. it is always so so awful when the things you used to love aren’t enjoyable because you’re too tired or depressed to properly enjoy them.
oh no, was that entry bill’s? charlie is clearly not doing well if he is knocked out on a sleeping! dragon! he’s becoming careless, and that’s dangerous in a job like charlie’s.
does nymphadora still marry remus in this timeline? oh. and then it must still hurt charlie that he left nymphadora for his job with dragons when he still didn’t know how long he had with her. and this was also a good addition, because no relationship is obviously perfect, but two people can still love each other anyways.
i really loved the addition of bill here. i wasn’t expecting that he’d be here seeing this is charlie’s dream journal and all, but it was really sad but sweet seeing how much bill cared. even in the few entries bill had, it was crystal clear that it hurt him too see how much charlie was hurting.
and the ending! it was the perfect amount of hopefulness! it’s so simple, but the ending was nice because it alludes to charlie getting help for his grief, and that’s all i could every want for him.
this was amazing, thank you for writing! xx
Author's Response:Hi Sunshine!
Wow - thank you for taking the time to leave such a thoughtful review. This story's set a few weeks after the battle of Hogwarts.
I think lots of people can empathise with losing joy in things you love when you're suffering. I'm glad you noticed it.
This timeline fits with canon. We know Tonks and Charlie were in the same year at Hogwarts and I imagine they would have been friends. They both have a kind of cheerful silliness to them and share the same values, so I imagine them as very close through their time at school but they must have drifted apart since then as the other Weasleys never mention it to Harry when Tonks is around. I've read that to fit with J.K's timeline, Charlie must have left Hogwarts before the end of seventh year, so I see Tonks as having felt quite abandoned by him.
Thank you for such a lovely review! Emma xx