Name: ImaRavenclaw (Signed) · Date: 20 Apr 2020 07:10 AM · For: Silt And Seashells

Hi there Kaitlin! I'm super excited that I got to read this piece of OF I probably would not have found otherwise. First off I was definitely struck by your use of the second person. I'm not normally a fan of it but the way you wrote it actually worked out really nicely, particularly with your descriptions of your main character's jump into the water. Just the water descriptions in general. You're such a good descriptive writer Kaitlin, urgh! I am in awe. The story is super interesting but I'm definitely intrigued as to the characters backgrounds. Even in the first few sentences it seemed like they were very close friends and yet you then said it was only the first day. It was very surprising. 

I love your little injections of fantasy here and there. They work really well and add to the story. I think the whole setting is perfect for a quick little snippet of a moment in life.

Overall you wrote a beautiful little story and I really enjoyed reading it.

 

Love,

Lily

Author's Response:

Hey there! Thank you so much for the review! It truly made my day! I wish I could write you a longer response, but I've gotten so bogged down in review responses lately. I hope you know how much your words mean to me and how much I appreciate your support, encouragement, and critique. Thank you!

~Kaitlin

 

Name: StarFeather (Anonymous) · Date: 20 Apr 2020 01:34 AM · For: Silt And Seashells

Hi, Katlin! It's great to read a story from you again.  :)

 

What's the most outstanding is the description of water along with the protagonist's emotions. Watching at the instructor from the protagonist's mind movement, the first person's POV, readers sense her special feeling for the man who led the next move. We are very impressed by the author's talent, the skillfulness of words. Genuine and pure pleasure was built up between two people as they experienced diving and swimming together. A fleeting romance occurred, which is sensed from the author's perceptive depiction.  You nailed at weaving those words, Katlin! Then we noticed the title, "Sparks" meant their intense friendship. The last sentences indicate melancholy leaving for the next destination. 

 Compared with the first exciting and adventurous experiences, the end invokes loneliness on a journey. Thank you for sharing a beautiful story.

 

K

Author's Response:

Hey there! Thank you so much for the review! It truly made my day! I wish I could write you a longer response, but I've gotten so bogged down in review responses lately. I hope you know how much your words mean to me and how much I appreciate your support, encouragement, and critique. Thank you!

~Kaitlin

 

Name: blackballet (Anonymous) · Date: 19 Apr 2020 10:30 PM · For: Silt And Seashells

Hi there!! I'm here for our review swap on the forums

Yay, original fiction! I was immediately drawn in by your writing style. It is extremely particular, and well followed through with throughout this first excerpt. I think having your characters remain nameless lends to the heavy imagery. There are also these juicy bursts of phrases (in practicular, brackish madness stuck with me) that kind of make me chuckle! I definitely feel the lightheartedness but also slight infatuation of the main character, and it is exciting to read.

I felt like I really had been transported to another place by the descriptions of the water, but it was driven home by your descriptions of the customs of the land. I am interested in how different modes of communication will become and remain important through the rest of your text! The namelessness sort of makes sense at the end--your protagonist is transient, moving on quickly to the next place.

What an interesting concept! I can't wait to find out more in upcoming chapters.

blackballet

 

Author's Response:

Hey there! Thank you so much for the review! It truly made my day! I wish I could write you a longer response, but I've gotten so bogged down in review responses lately. I hope you know how much your words mean to me and how much I appreciate your support, encouragement, and critique. Thank you!

~Kaitlin