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Elf ward - interesting idea. The free elves who work there obviously harbor some residual bitterness. The different attitudes between the free and non-free elves are also interesting. It's fabulous how you managed to insert that bit of social commentary into your story.
The first paragraph in Dennis' scene reminded me of something I always have to tell myself when writing: always follow the action. Your description of Dennis scraping himself up and berating himself for his arrogance was perfect and pulled me right into the scene. I'm not sure why it hit me there. You set scenes so well, and do it consistently, seemingly without effort. Maybe it's because I've been having a bit of trouble with this issue lately... it's nice to be reminded what a scene opener is supposed to look like. :)
Muggle Studies is suspended?? Ack! This gets worse and worse. Ahh, a witness to what Tennant is up to! I hope Dennis finds the right person to tell. *bites fingernails with worry* And Rowle's progeny is downright unbearable alright.
More developments... more complications... more story!
Still, the snowglobes... ah, my heart!
Aww, snowglobes! They will always have a special place in fiction for me. It's good to see that I'm not the only one that uses them.
Hugo's scene was appropriately tense, with the waiting and the arrival of Security and his thoughts about Rose. You did an excellent job building the anticipation and worry.
Charlene reminds me of Sister Mary Loquacious from the Chattering Order of St. Beryl from "Good Omens". Except Charlene eventually gives them useful information, so she has one up on Sister Mary.
""You didn't cast the spell, did you?" Ron asked quietly.
"Nope. I reckon she's confused enough as it is.""
Witch Weekly puzzles too. Awesome! Besides the little things, I also appreciated the forward-rushing momentum of the scenes. There's nothing like a mad ambulance chase to get the blood pumping, especially when Ron's driving. Good thing he's learned a few things over the years.
Lots of things happened here and your action swooped by really fast, which was great. I think my favorite little touch in the chase was when Ron cushioned the Stupefied Ministry people. I'm sure none of them are really bad too, they're just doing what they're told.
I'm glad Harry didn't have the opportunity to do his crazy plan thingy. It would have ended badly. I liked that even in her weakened state, Susan was able to set Harry straight about his leadership skills. It's reasonable that he doesn't want to get involved on a higher level, but sometimes you have to step up and just do it.
Great action-filled chapter!
My mom actually told me that I was a very well behaved child, until I started public school...
"Rose had been a very well-behaved child... at least until she met Scorpius."
THAT was the most brilliant characterization of Rose and Scorpius ever! What a precocious little girl Octavia is. You're doing a great job of capturing the attitude and self-awareness that brilliant children possess. Unfortunately, the little geniuses also think they're nigh indestructible too and their parents have to stay two (sometimes three) steps ahead of them to keep them under control and no, I'm not talking from experience here at all. *motherly eyeroll*
At least you left a clue for Arthur and Molly that Octavia had been taken. I liked the POV switch. I could almost hear the silence, except for the crickets as Arthur came out to poke around.
I really like the twist you took during Tenabra's speech about why Voldemort was ultimately defeated. It wasn't much of a pep talk, more like a warning of how they were all going to end up if they didn't succeed... very, very twisted. I liked it! (Not that I'm twisted and dark or anything.. I wrote Weasleys, you know.)
Loved that Terry is on the inside of the operation and spying on Tenabra. I did not see that coming at all. I also like how you're showing us that he finds her place unexpectedly easy to get into. Makes me thing that the master villain might have some exploitable weaknesses after all. He's taking some big, yet necessary risks. Gosh, I hope he's not going to end up like Rowle. *is worried*
And it's about time that Hermione knocks some reason into Harry. I loved Susan's applause, and I'm assuming that she'd be the one slapping people around if she were able. Eventually, they're going to have to stop planning and start acting. Might as well be now. Hmm... I wonder if Harry will suffer a flashback of Hermione's outburst when he sees the cover of "Journey Into the Depths of a Dark and Angry Soul".
There's always distraction around. Even now.
Back for another chapter, finally! Sorry it took so long. There's this thing called "distraction" that pretty much rules my life these days.
Ron is chilling in this first scene. It seems that he took Hermione's instructions to heart. I can see how he would be pushed to act like that under the circumstances. But t's like watching a good friend reach the end of his rope and all you can do is hope that he's not going to let go.
Rose's interrogation had me laughing out loud. I can totally see her saying those preposterous things, just to get a rise out of her captors. Unfortunately, her snark wasn't able to help her against the unknown intruders. Gosh, I sure hope that Octavia snuck off somewhere safe before all that happened! Jade seems like a sympathetic character, though I don't trust her. I don't trust any of the Ministry people right now, with all the unknowns floating around.
""As far as I'm concerned, you can take every memory I have from the past two weeks," Terry responded grimly. "I'd sleep better.""
Poor Terry! What did he ever do to you to give him that kind of punishment? I thought it was fitting that Hermione had lots of things to keep her distracted while Harry and the rest went to check out where Octavia and Rose had been.
Seriously? Scorpius dueled Ron while proposing to Rose? *rolls over* Typical NextGen stunt. I am always happily surprised at the blatant mood change when you write these younger characters. Very daytime drama... not that I watch daytime drama... it's just the whole feel of the scene changes when they come on the screen. I find these scene/mood changes refreshingly light compared to the Golden Trio characters and that Tenabra woman, who, I'm assuming, is never going to get light and fluffy, no matter how good a mood she gets into.
Another fine chapter!
I wasn't kidding either. :)
You weren't kidding when you said this was a dark chapter. Everyone is getting their hands dirty!
"Since none of her followers knew about the small room concealed in the rafters and nobody aside from her followers knew the location of the warehouse, she hadn't bothered with any strong magical protections."
I had to read that twice. Maybe it was the second "followers" so close to the first. I'm not usually bothered by things like this. It must be because I'm in revision mode right now. :)
"Rosier was a pathetic little worm of a man, clinging to his last name and the blood running through his veins as though they somehow made up for the fact that he led a life devoid of meaning or distinction."
I wanted to read this twice, and once more with feeling. Awesome!
I often wonder, in this fandom, how authors feel about naming the magic in their fics. Is it something people do because it's expected? Does using the name of the charm make it cleaner than describing the effects of the magic? Just wondering what your take was on this.
I loved the way you hinted at George's dealings being less-than legitimate, with the curious boxes in the storage facility. So funny, and rings so true for George to push the limits. Also, the interaction between Harry and Esme was telling.
"So you actually believe that there's going to be a vote of some sort?"
Oh, poor Percy! I agree with the guy who talked about owls leaving the owlery, which was a fantastic line. And though it surprised me in that scene specifically, I was wondering when they were going to come after him. Arabela seemed so helpful, and then she suggests this calming technique that he is so eager to learn; I am becoming afraid for him.
Hermione's revelations are indeed dark. I understand her motivations and her need, but I'm not sure she would have performed the magic without first reading through the next few pages. But I quibble. Likely, she would have understood more and still made the same decision to move forward. Her clumsy, frantic desperation was really intense, and I felt sorry for her. I almost would have preferred to feel it from within her, rather than watching her go through it.
And Harry is foiled again, in a big way. I'm interested to see how Ron and Hermione deal with each other's anger when they see each other again. Could be explosive...
Ready, set, go!
I like the reference to the dragon in this first scene. It works well as an embodiment of Hermione's condition and colors her mood. In the previous chapter, it was more of a distraction to me to read about the dragon while Hermione was still discovering what had happened to her. Now that she has put it in the context of the book, it makes sense. And poor Ron, having to deal with that without an explanation. I had hoped that she could muddle through with an explanation, but where would the drama be in that?
I had nearly forgotten that Susan was in the room with Hermione while all this was going on. I suppose that she slept through most of it. That was a powerful scene, with lots of emotional moments. I only hope Hermione will be able to pull out of the darkness before it's too late.
Interesting dynamics between the Malfoys and the Potters, even when they have a common goal to work towards. I must admit that it was entirely in character for Draco to drag Scorpius into his nefarious dealings.
I really liked what you did in the scene with the Order of the Phoenix, how you brought all the generations together to hash out what to do next. I think you did a phenomenal job of showing how each character reacted to the news from all sides.
Aaaand... where did all the words go?
I feel like this chapter flew by; there were so many issues that got brought up in little snippets here and there. Pieces are starting to come together in a big way. The only thing I can do now is read on to see what happens next.
Ah, yes. This is where this belongs.
It's nice to have a heads-up warning, but why are you apologizing for the darkness? The word "blood" is in the story title. That sets up all kinds of expectations... or at least it did for me.
Rose's torture had an eerie quality to it; that she tried to stay strong for her daughter in the midst of it only terrified me more. I half-expected them to bring her daughter into the room, which would have been unbearable. Putting Octavia in her mind was probably the only way to keep Rose sane.
And then the stark contrast: "Does your generation ever stop whining?"
But that's where the levity (if you could call it that) ends.
Secret entrance! *bounces up and down* I love those! Though this looks strange and dangerous and... oh my. I am intrigued by Draco's remembrance of his father "dabbling in the Dark Arts". The way you show him relive a past he is so desperate to forget, one that he hasn't ever mentioned to his son is really heartbreaking. Scorpius gets to see a different side to both of his parents here and it seems that he's finally realizing what a privileged childhood he and his contemporaries really had. I'm sure he will think differently about his parents and their generation from now on.
Esme's breakdown was palpable. She wanted so badly to save Katerina, and now she knows that isn't possible. Looks like her fight with Tenabra just got personal.
Oh, and that last line from Rose was incredibly chilling. Very dark. Very well-done. I hope Gamp gets discovered soon, or this could go very wrong very quickly.
You know how annoying it is to find a story where the last few chapters have no reviews? I am sympathetic to the feeling, believe me.
I am relieved that Ron found the vials of sleeping draught and was able to pick up on Hermione's deception. It's a good thing you have a large cast of characters, or Hermione would have overpowered Harry and then where would we be?
I enjoyed the intensity of the scene, with all the emotions running high, Ron on fumes from lack of sleep and Harry stepping into the middle of everything. Their experience with Horcruxes gave them the clue they needed to figure things out for the short-term. I really liked how you connected that.
Tennant continues to shine as a beacon of indifference and self-centeredness.
Loved what you did with Luna and Hermione. I am sad that JKR didn't give Luna more page time. It would have been interesting to see her more developed and know what goes on inside that head of hers.
The scene with Goyle continued to ramp up the intensity from the first scene. You really went all out to show us how powerful that book can be and the repercussions when someone uses it. Egads! No wonder Tenabra is such a beast!
The flow of this chapter impressed me the most. You continue to amaze and surprise!
Yes, and there are more.
"Either way, Hogwarts Castle with its dank, cold hallways and whining, self-important children would soon be a distant memory."
I hope that moment comes soon. This man Tennant has stood on my nerves for too long.
Every time I see "Dumbledore's Army" now, I can't keep a straight face. It's not you. Never mind. I have been momentarily sidetracked. Back to the story.
"Not quite as wide as she is tall," Draco replied dryly, "but the holidays are yet to come."
Ahh, I see your Draco has some good lines up his sleeve! How in-character! And poor Scorpius has to watch all of this? There will be nightmares to come, I assume. And Gamp goes down.
I loved all the fighting and Hermione battling with her dragon, but what really got me was the flash of white hair streaking across the warehouse. It's the little things.
Rose's condition really made my heart ache. I knew she was going to be in a bad state, but the description you gave, both of her and the reactions of the people around her were so vivid, it hurt.
Plot-wise, the way that Rose's recovery led into Hermione's revelations about her condition was excellently handled. I wondered what you were going to do with that. Connections, connections.
The way that you handled Hermione's "healing" was really good too. I really questioned as I was reading that section if she was going to make it, but she had the last reserve of strength to pull through. I also appreciated how you baited us with the return of both Rose and Octavia, and then pulled the rug out from under us again. The imagery of Hermione holding out her arms and the hug never coming was brilliant. So close to victory! But that's alright. That means the story isn't over yet. Though I think that kid will need therapy later.
And then, after the emotional rollercoaster ride, we get the revelation of Lady Tenabra and how she'd been manipulating Percy the whole time. I had only half-suspected that, and you managed to throw me off about the time that she helped Percy address the Wizengamot. She was there the whole time! Argh!
Poor Esme! She fought the good fight and had the opportunity to face the woman who made the fight personal. So that's something. But I can only imagine what that will do to Harry's psyche. Evil of you!
If I had to complain about something, I guess it would be the whining in the first part by the people who showed up to fight and didn't get to participate. I found their presences and their attitudes irritatingly unnecessary. You can ignore my opinion though. It just might be my unreasonable bias against NextGen characters. :P
Here we are again.
Uh oh. Little girls with words in their heads saying dangerous and suspicious things. That can't be good. At least Octavia seems bright enough not to fall for it too quickly. I hope she wakes up from her nap even more suspicious than before. I love that she holds a grudge against Arabella and wonders why Percy is so smitten with her.
I had forgotten that Arabella was Wilkinson's assistant. Silly me. That makes a ton of sense now. I must be really tired or something. That last line, "it is time for the healing to begin" sounded so wrong coming from Percy at that moment. He's being controlled by a monster. There's no healing. The only thing coming after this is more death. I'm right, aren't I?
Thank you, Neville. A thousand cheers for beating up the Boy Who Broods! I know Harry needed his moment, and you wrote him a beautiful scene to grieve and give Esme a last goodbye, but he's such a diva. It's good you had someone literally knock some sense into him. I agree wholeheartedly. Neville does what he must. Now if only you could have used four different types of dragons, a blast ended skrewt, an unforgivable... oh wait. That was something else entirely. :P
Interesting developments at the castle. Nick is finally helpful too! I guess he'll come through in a pinch after all. The young people seem to be on the verge of hatching a plan. Will they succeed? That was totally a rhetorical question. But you knew that already.
Must. Read. More.
"What the bloody hell was that, Malfoy?" he demanded, propelling himself off of the bed.
"Leverage," Draco replied tersely.
This was such a perfect exchange. I am awed. Seriously. Ron's trying to make sense of what just happened and chooses to lash out at the one person in the room who won't let anyone knock him around. I love how you've juxtaposed Draco's character with the rest of the "good guys". The contrast is fantastic.
"... and she'd have to be married to Audrey..." George added under his breath, earning him a glare from Molly.
Even now, he makes jokes. Well, that clinches it. Tenabra's not gonna turn into Percy after that revelation.
You gave Harry a touching moment in the middle of it all. I thank you for that. It was nice that everyone understood that he needed that.
And you brought Dennis back! Honestly, I have no idea how you manage to keep all these characters' story arcs straight. I have a world of trouble doing that, even with a small cast. I love the inclusion of Peeves while Dennis tries to run for it. Nasty ghostie!
"Trousers." Ah hahaha! So funny, even in the middle of war.
Seeing the next scene through Octavia's eyes was a great choice. I love seeing all the different perspectives, because everyone has their own story to tell. I found it interesting, the way Octavia's instincts told her what was going on, and I think you did a great job with her thoughts and voice. Then the magic doesn't work and Octavia gets more time. Thank goodness! I have no clue why, but I'm sure it will be revealed later.
The pacing was really good in this chapter. I was surprised to reach the end, thinking it was going to be longer for some reason. That's when I know the flow is good, when I can't believe I've gotten to the end.
This first line says it all.
"I'm a sentimental man," Seamus suddenly blurted out, "and I don' wanna be cryin' over none of you today. So be careful!"
I so much prefer this. Such a great contrast to Harry's brooding. Thank you! But it had to be said. They're going into dangerous territory and the potential for disaster is high.
I love how you add details to the scenes like Harry grabbing the Sorting Hat before he leaves the Headmaster's office. You must have an awful lot of foresight to set things up from scene to scene to scene. My imagination is trying to figure out when and how (and if) we'll be seeing that hat again.
The news about what's going down in the Great Hall is quite disturbing, but at the same time, I was relieved that Professor Astor was taken care of. You've had so many things happen in the last few chapters that I had completely forgotten about her stuffed in that closet.
"One cannot slay a man with fresh produce and kippers." The Bloody Baron has a good idea. And those were some particularly well-turned insults. The ghosts were really fun to read. You gave them some great lines!
I loved the moment when Dennis gets courage. I think he gets what is happening and is ready to step up. I was going to be angry with Harry for locking up the young people in the Headmaster's office, but fortunately, they figured things out for themselves and saved him.
You finally gave Tennant his moment to gloat over Harry. That must have been so gratifying for him. It was almost funny though, because you couldn't possibly have him prevail over Harry Potter and his family. Not now, when they are so close! I read that whole scene while waiting for him to get smacked.
I tell you what; I would be one lousy wand duelist, what with having to remember the names of spells every time I had to cast one. I wonder how wizards train for the obvious reflexive actions they have to develop. You did a great job with the crazy in the halls and then in the Great Hall. The action was just superb here. It's so hard to track all the movements and portray them in a believable way while keeping the reader inside the scene. You kept everyone moving while raising the stakes to an unbelievably high level. Really well done!
And then Neville is gone! *shakes fist* For shame! I know, it's war. You just had to make everyone *feel* the loss, didn't you? But this can't possibly be the final showdown, because it's at Hogwarts for goodness' sake - and Tenabra hasn't shown up and there are more pieces that need fitting.
It's a good thing I'm several chapters behind. That way I don't have to wait to see what's going on next. :)
Here we are!
Fury. This chapter was aptly named.
There were so many charged moments in this chapter. My head is spinning so fast that it's hard to sort them all out and comment on each of them specifically. I came away with a breathless, heart-wrenching feeling, knowing that deep down, Harry will half-regret what he did. Or maybe not?
Everything, from the haze of Harry's thoughts in the beginning to the resolve he had to end it, going it alone, was incredibly well-paced and deliberate.
I loved the unlikely and unexpected ally he had in Draco. Draco was all business, and rightly so. I think that's the best and only reaction that Harry would have dealt with seriously.
"Lightning erupted from his wand again and the air screamed in protest. He opened his heart and emptied everything into the curse. The shield charms of his remaining attackers were pierced like tissue. For one deadly instant, three lives were joined on the points of jagged, blue streaks of plasma. Then it was over."
That. *speechless*
The Legilimens portion was absolutely spectacular. Harry ripped through Nott's mind in such a fast-forward, ruthless way and when he was done, there was nothing left. I could actually visualize the pictures Harry saw, flashing in his view, frantically flipping through the memories like... like a flip-book, I guess. You wrote this very much in the way that I suspect Legilimens works. I always assumed that if the caster wasn't careful, his "victim" could be irreparably damaged by an invasion of the mind. And the emotion that you infused into Harry's actions was crazy. I mean, he was half-crazed, but it was also crazy-good.
Hermione's revelation was a surprise to me. I think it helped that Harry wasn't the only one with secret thoughts about Ginny's death. It was beautiful to see the three of them coming together again.
I'm ready to see some Tenabra action. I'm sure it's coming up somewhere in the next few chapters. Though, I'm terrified for Octavia. She's been lucky so far. I only hope her luck will hold long enough for her rescuers to get her out of that cave.
Superbly done!
Because we remember...
Why am I nervous about reading this chapter? Could it be because you might kill off yet another beloved character? Could it be because you have no qualms about ripping the hearts out of your characters and leaving them to bleed to death on the field of battle? No, No. That can't be it. YOU would never do anything like that...
Oh, of course you would. (Latent emotional reaction to your story is over now.) I'll shut up and read.
I'd really like to throttle Hermione. They're in a time-sensitive and potentially life-threatening position and she's arguing over who is going to stay behind and work on the spells. It makes sense in a way that she would have some pent up frustrations over what had recently happened to her, but she is obviously the one who has to stay behind. And what do the men do to convince her of it? Rock, paper, scissors?? Seriously. How do you come up with this stuff?? Funny AND unexpected!
I am continuously amazed by the appearance of your NextGen characterizations. They are simply a grand contrast to... everything else in the story, almost like you are trying to write two different stories in one. I think I've said it before, but the whole mood changes when they come on the scene. It's interesting how Scorpius is struggling with his feelings about his father here, and still craves the attention he never fully got from him. It's nice that you have him stil caring about his father's safety, even if it's roundabout and indirect.
I love how you put a twist on the end of this chapter, by having Harry toss the "ratty old thing" to Percy and giving him some fuel to possibly break through the hold that Arabella has on him.
And then whaaa...? Cliffhanger?? Seriously? You're going to MAKE me read the next chapter, aren't you?
Oh yes, another one!
I loved the appearance of the Trainman, and how he punched the tickets with "a pair of shiny, metal nippers". That was really cool! You've inserted a lot of symbolism into this scene, which I also loved, but I won't go 'round talking about all of it, or this whole review will be chapter quotes and we can't have that now.
I loved seeing snippets of other characters through Ginny's eyes as they came and went while she waited, especially Neville. That was when I knew her wait wasn't going to be much longer.
You had a moment of delay in the scene where everything hung around Ginny and Harry, and then the crash into reality took over. You wrote that moment so convincingly that I think I held my breath a little.
You really did a great job with this. Everything fell into place, it wasn't sappy or overdone, Harry's conscience was healed and he could move forward. And I loved the way you portrayed Ginny here. There were some honestly touching moments in this scene which made it a pleasure to read. Thanks for giving them the moment that Harry had been craving for four years.
And that little touch about the cloak and the Trainman was awesome!
Ah, here we are.
On the first day of Christmas...
Hello there, fellow HPFF author! I am finally here for the rest of the story. Sorry it took so long to come back to it, but I now have my old computer back and can actually post a review, so let's get to it.
I loved the way that Percy came across at the start of this scene. That opening paragraph just grabbed my attention and held fast. I especially liked the "Percy Weasley was most keenly aware of the last point" segue that fully planted us into his POV. That was expertly done, particularly when you left us dangling in the middle of the fight scene, locked away with him in his own mind.
Hermione's impatience and her coexisting thoughts of clarity were an engaging shift. It let us know exactly what was at stake without letting us see it, heightening the anxiety of the characters involved, and I really liked that.
"Don't you ever die?"
"More often than I'd like."
I believe I was thinking that exact sentiment when Harry showed up again in the middle of the scene. And I really loved this:
"Something clicked inside Percy's mind - the mind inside of his mind-"
And also the point at which Percy is willing to sacrifice himself to get rid of Arabella. I think that ties in really well with Harry's self-sacrificing tendencies and what Ginny did for Octavia... but I think I'm getting ahead of myself here. Really, I don't know how you so cleanly balanced the narrative with the explanation of how Octavia was protected, why Arabella's magic stopped working, how Percy managed to break free from her control and why Harry was able to face her so darned calmly through it all, well, except for that last bit where Herodonthus was trying to grapple for control, but that small slip of control couldn't be helped, what with the evil incarnate spirit floating around the room looking for a new host and all. It was very fitting for Draco to have that last struggle with the vengeance monster and his granddaughter chide him into choosing to "be good". Coupled with your stunning clarity during the battle, I believe the three-way "group hug" pushes you into the category of "literary genius".
And lastly, I have to point out this:
"I said stop, Potter!"
Like that's gonna happen. Pfft!
You really did an excellent job of tying up those plot threads with this chapter. Sure, I still had questions after this, but it felt complete as a story and I would have been satisfied if it had ended right here. But of course there are a few more scenes that I am dying to read, and I know you included them in the next chapter. You are so very accommodating!
You have created a most astounding and brilliant chapter. (And by the way, I love the banner!)
Yes, yes my friend. I remember it well.
On the second day of Christmas...
Pretzel sticks. Some people cry after an emotional story. I eat. Nom nom.
It was heartwarming to see Harry make peace with Ginny's memory at last. You gave him the closure he was so desperately searching for all this time, though you certainly made him go through a heck of a lot to get there.
"The elf was humming softly to himself, and Harry recognized the melody from a song that Kreacher used to mutter when he thought that nobody else could hear."
These are the details that I love that you have sprinkled throughout the story that truly made it an engaging read. We all try to keep the readers energetically engaged with the characters and you have managed to do so with not only the main characters, but the supporting cast as well. This was a monumental feat, given how many characters you juggled through this epic adventure. Every chapter, I came away with a solid sense of character. Every single one. And I was astounded every single time how you personalized every character's experiences in this tale.
I think your strongest section had to be Fleur's message to the younger generation. Though at times it felt odd, flipping back and forth to the younger students and their unsullied perspective on things, you made it work without seeming disjointed or abrupt. Having Fleur give them a post-war debriefing of sorts was a perfect way to have them connect more fully to the older generation.
The therapist session with Percy couldn't have been any more perfect. We got a good look at what it felt like to be possessed in the last chapter, and all through the story, the characters have been talking about the way that memories could be tampered with and replaced, (and we got to see Esme dealing with it a bit when she tried to navigate through the tampered memory, which was cool) but now you are showing us exactly what it did to Percy and how it can be overcome, even though he has a long road ahead of him. Audrey has played such a small part in this story, but her willingness to sit through the sessions with Percy is a testament to her character and tells us what we need to know about her.
Draco and Astoria had a charming resolution in their own, "Draco/Astoria in Dan's head canon" way (I would have used hyphens for all of that, but I'm saving the superfluous punctuation for the final chapter of Peony vs. the world). You showed us how much they appreciate each other and how they hold each other up through the tough times.
The way that you allowed The Longbottoms to react to Harry's news, even in their small, limited way was such a lovely touch and I loved the shout out to Lily and Snape in the Headmaster's office! We'd all like to think they had some sort of amicable resolution in the end. Neville's addition was perfect here.
As for Rose's future... Alright, I have to admit that I put down the pretzels and needed a tissue during Ron's heart-to-heart with Scorpius. I only feel better because I was legitimately able to use hyphens just now. It was a very touching scene. You picked a good moment to end on that thread. It was just enough to give us hope for her recovery without making a whole 'nother epic novel about it. But if the mood strikes you to dealve into a YA, angsty, nightmare-focused recovery story between Rose and Octavia and how Scorpius deals with all of that, I wouldn't mind reading it.
I love that Susan Bones has a place on the faculty, and Harry's speech was fabulous. Watch out, students, you have a real DADA teacher now!
What can I say after all that that hasn't already been said? Absolutely nothing.
You know, I couldn't let these go to waste. Let's keep them for posterity, shall we?
On the third day of Christmas...
Don't shoot me. I can never resist a theme.
I love how you gave Harry that strange Headmaster mystique that Professor Dumbledore held over his students. No one knew his personal past and most everyone was afraid to ask. I love how you made Harry and his friends so essential in the reshaping of Wizard society for the future and how their contributions became widely accepted and improved the quality of life for so many. I love how you kept the canon trio so completely in character throughout and were still able to move them through their respective arcs so that they grew and thrived and lived and died. There was so much about this story to love.
I think my favorite line has to be from the Trainman: "Sir is no way to address an old friend." Indeed.
Lady Tenabra earned her right as Best Villain in this year's Dobbys. Congratulations, both for the award and the ability to finish such a monumental, epic, monster novel. We don't get many memorable villains around here that make such an impact as she did. We don't get many completed stories that are as well-crafted or many authors who are as bold, tenacious and dedicated as you were with this story either. So thank you for that.
What a fantastic story you have created! I think the thing I admire the most about the placement of time that you chose is that I can pretend in my head that all the other post-war Harry Potter stories that I've enjoyed could have still happened in this universe and Harry Potter would have lived his last days in relative quiet (I suppose that to Harry Potter, being surrounded by kids in boarding school day in and day out for sixty years would be relatively quiet after what he'd been through) and died a happy man.
Fantastic ending. Fantastic story.
Well, this is the last review to transfer for now, so I guess that means I'll just have to leave original ones after this!
Dan, Dan, Dan...
You're kind of evil for the way you started this chapter off. The last one ended with Susan on the verge of death after the showdown at the Ministry. She Albus and Hugo were fighting their way out of a sticky situation and it was just as intense as the scene you describe with Harry at the opening of this chapter.
Except he's playing Exploding Snap.
I actually found it extremely adorable that he and Ron can still get up to such antics as they did when they were twelve. And it's just so Hermione-like to put a stop to it. I also find it adorable that Ron and Hermione still have the gumption to get up to whatever they were getting up to the minute Harry and Esme left the country - heh heh.
It’s a very intricate spell, but fortunately it’s also very robust. She spent a lot of time on this. I’d say she really cared about keeping in touch with her sister.
I feel like I should hold on to this sentiment. Something smells important here...
I'm intrigued that the group now have a supply of portkeys, polyjuice potion and some other good things. This is so much different from when they were hunting horcruxes and had to search around for the most basic necessities.
You have an amazing talent for writing such a complicated plot, yet keeping it all straight and understandable for your readers. There are a LOT of Potters and Weasleys, but the group manages to come up with a plan for them in a few moments time - and the Delacours makes perfect sense. I'm breathing a sigh of relief that they will be safe there.
So I gotta admit - I'm more than a little nervous for Al and Hugo to gather all the family and get to the Delacours. They don't seem to be the best at thinking on their feet in a sticky situation. I'm sure it's mostly because they simply haven't had to do it nearly as much as their parents did, but all the same - they have a LOT of people to account for and get to safety - especially considering they aren't 100% certain where everyone is. But Harry and Ron didn't have much of a choice. They can't have Hermione do it in her current state, Esme doesn't know them very well, so she would probably be more of a hindrance, and Harry and Ron must get Susan immediate medical attention. My nerves are really humming on this all playing out well (I'm not going to even try to pretend it's going to play out according to plan - this is Harry and Ron we're talking about - and their offspring).
Ah! The house elf ward at St. Mungo's! How clever. Although I don't rightly blame the elves for being so standoffish. They can't start accepting every Tom, Dick, and Susan that waltzes in and asks for medical attention - it could end up being an underground (but yet above the heads of the wizards) medical treatment facility for anyone who wanted to stay "off the grid." All the same - I'm glad they finally agreed to treat her.
Dennis Northway is a really lovable character. I don't know why, but I've grown quite fond of him.
Fortunately for Oliver, he had his family to fall back on and fortunately for Dennis, Oliver and Artie had sort of pulled him along with them. -That's just the Potter way.
And then we have our suspected Professor Tennant doing exactly what we suspected him of doing. And poorly. Even the Hogwarts students are noticing his behavior.
Poor Dennis - he's stuck between a rock and a hard place, at the moment.
As they walked, Artie peered around to make sure that nobody was listening and whispered, “We’re going to start dueling lessons again, in secret. We’re working on finding a good place to practice. -Hey! I might know of a cool place for that sort of thing!
I really love how you've got little parallels here and there to the books. For example, the inept Dark Arts Professor, the kids practicing dueling in secret, and Rowle with his two, enormous cronies for backup. I really appreciate those little details.
But here's something different! They are planning on going to Professor Longbottom to tell him about Tennant's bizarre behavior. This is a stark contrast to the books, when Harry, Ron and Hermione usually took it upon themselves to solve the problem instead of asking a teacher.
I loved the end of this and how it all tied together! Haha - I love that Neville has struck a proper balance between casting his authority and being approachable to the students. He has Dumbledore's "piercing stare" (I think all teachers need that one from time to time :) ), but he also remembers the contributions students can make to the fight against evil.
I hope the Grey Lady doesn't scare them off. And I'm so excited to see the Room of Requirement again. I think J.K. hinted that the Fiendfyre might've destroyed it beyond use in the last book, but it's never been something that I could reconcile in my head. That room is just too cool for it to not be around!
Great chapter - I didn't catch any typos! :D
♥ Beth
There once was a great author man
Whose name happened to be Dan
The story he told
about Harry when old
Was one of the best in the land
Sorry for the cheeze. I felt I owed you at least some original content when transferring these reviews over.
Hi there Dan,
I tried to get this all wrapped up last night, but I’d been baking all day long and I ended up falling asleep - haha! Anyway - here is a Thanksgiving Day review for you!
I loved the first scene with Susan. Actually, I love Susan. One of the things that J.K. did with her characters was to make magic ‘the great equalizer.’ Being a Quidditch player or an Auror or even Minister or Headmaster/mistress wasn’t ever construed as typically a man’s job. Along with her lack of prejudice in other areas, this is one of the reasons why I loved the series so much. I adore reading stories like yours where characters are strong, capable and brilliant regardless of their gender or sexuality or race. And I love Susan.
Poor Draco. As usual, I feel like he’s going to be stuck having to make a decision between two very, very bad choices. This line makes me a little nervous:
He vaguely remembered skimming a pamphlet from the Magical Creatures Department years ago and he could have sworn that it said that elves were not able to repair curse damage,
I really hope this isn’t foreshadowing of some sort. But goon on Astoria for not being as dim-witted or as disloyal as her husband predicts. Another strong female character. Noted. I’m a bit surprised that Narcissa Malfoy was so poor with money. She actually always struck me as someone who was really with-it when it came to maintaining her family’s posterity. Either someone has siphoned off the Malfoy fortune or Lucius always took care of all of that and when he became ill and eventually passed, Narcissa didn’t know how to keep track of their money.
I noticed this chapter contains three vignettes like most of yours, but unlike the others, this final section is about the same character as the first one. And whooo boy, does it ever have some action. Hold on to your hats! I enjoyed reading the skirmish at the Ministry quite a bit, but I did not expect Susan to get injured so badly.
“Hugo, get over here!” Al’s voice rang with barely contained panic. More bad news. At the rate things were going, Hugo was probably digging a hole nearby.
There’s that humor again. And much needed this time. Was Susan referring to Ron or Harry when she said “call your dad?”
I know I won’t be able to wait very long to get to the next chapter - YIKES! What a cliffhanger.
Sorry this review isn’t as long as usual, but I wanted to spread some Thanksgiving cheer.
♥ Beth
Nothing like a slew of review transfers to round out a relaxing weekend, huh? I hope you had a good one and that this brightened your day a little bit. Here's another:
Hello there Dan!
I'm here for the next chapter! I hope this review finds you well.
The Ron and Hermione scene was a real treat to read. I love how multi-faceted you've made both of them (not made, but rather, extended). It's how I see them as well. They're both really, really talented - and they have a softer side as well. Or rather in this scene - a naughty side. I'm sorta glad you stopped the scene just short of their tryst. It leaves a lot to our imagination - but you've set it up nicely enough that we know how it plays out ;)
At the same time, there's some valuable information here. Barsamian is looking less and less like the bad guy and more like a pawn who had little choice but to play the hand he'd been dealt. Agnar Cheshire... I'm going to have to look back through previous chapters, but I don't remember him being mentioned. To be honest, I thought he was going to say Rory Tennant - given his history of ineptitude and bad blood with the Auror department.
The scene with Goyle and Nott was disturbing and creepy and awesome. Your description of the effects of the curse made me shudder - you have such a talent for drawing not only images, but emotions in your reader. It also seemed right that Nott was the one to master the curse and not Goyle - I'd always categorized him in the slow department. The fact that all of the members of the New Blood Order were able to get jobs at the Ministry is even more disturbing. It seems that at every turn, Lady Tenabra has infiltrated even deeper than I thought. This is going from bad to worse. The poor witch who is their victim reminds me of Charity Burbage and her senseless murder at the beginning of Deathly Hallows.
The length of time Harry and Esme had to wait seemed to a waste for all the information Elena gave them. I'm highly suspicious that the missing Auror, Katerian, is in fact, Arabela Dynt - but I'm not going to cash in my chips just yet. There are several chapters left and you seem to have introduced quite a few characters that I don't want to rule anything out just yet.
Ooo! And then we get to meet the Head of the French Auror department. Very interesting, indeed...
If any fighting does break out, I’ll make sure that she remembers to follow orders.
Yeah... good luck with that, Harry. I have a feeling that you can keep Esme from doing anything that she has her mind set to do just as well as you could break an unbreakable vow...
Haha! I see Esme is along the same line of thinking as I am. However, it's a good thing Ricard Dauzat turned out to see the real picture. At least something is going well for our heroes.
I gotta admit, Arabela does make a good argument for Percy. I even know what she's up to and I'm still rooting for him. Go, Percy go! You got this! At the first read, I just glossed over Arabela's story about her family - I was being very, very confident (read: arrogant) that it was a bunch of claptrap because I already knew her real family history. But on my second read-through (okay... third or fourth - I know that I am responsible for at least four of your reads on this chapter), I decided to pay attention. Mostly because, if I know you, there is at least something hidden there that will come to light later on in the story. And this question is still on my mind: if Arabela (as Lady Tenabra) is able to control the current Minister, why would she need Percy to take over the position? Hmmm... much to ponder.
I only saw one typo in this chapter:
Why are you suddenly so keen on seeing your boss out a a job?
It should probably be "...out of a job..."
I liked how the title tied in to each scene in this chapter. Barsamian might not be the enemy that the trio once thought, Goyle seems bound and determined to ally with Malfoy, Dauzat seems to be setting his allegiance with Harry and Arabela is "allying" with Percy to become the next Minister.
Thanks again for writing this awesome story!
♥ Beth
So here's another review transferred over! A few more to go after this!
Hiya Dan,
You weren't kidding. Stuff is definitely happening here. And while this chapter didn't have any major action scenes, there was so much going on that this review is going to be pretty long. I'm actually concerned that I'll be restricted by the character limit.
I know I've said it before, but I sincerely appreciate the fact that you've clearly made these characters much more polished than their teenage selves. And you also don't gloss over the fact that age has a definite toll on people (I've read stories where it's mentioned in the first paragraph that someone is in their sixties and then they go on to act like a twenty year old for the rest of the story). And it's the little details that make a good story a great story.
So I quite enjoyed reading the first section in the train station. Harry is still Harry - he's quick on his feet with the spells and never fails to impress us with his magic. Also, you've painted a picture of a great team with Harry and Esme - they work well together and it's almost as if they can anticipate each other's actions.
Then they get on the train and it's just so awkward, I was cringing.
‘arry, do you intend to spend our entire trip making painful small talk, or shall we discuss what is obviously on both of our minds?
I'm beginning to like this chick. Let's cut to the chase, shall we?
“I know it probably seemed like I couldn’t forget about those days fast enough, but it really helped me figure out a lot of things. Made me realize what was really important, what I really cared about.”
Harry, Harry, Harry. How is it he tries so darn hard but the exact WRONG thing comes out of his mouth so often? I feel bad for him - a little bit, but I'm sorta on Esme's side at this point. It seriously seems like he was using her.
And then he tells his story - and I even know the story, but I'm still caught off guard that after all these years, there's still a part of him that feels the loss and insecurity. Harry is still Harry.
Haha - I love your creativity. George was awesome and I can just see those goofy ministerial buffoons floating in their princess dresses out over the street. On the other hand, I'm sure my daughter would have LOVED that kind of party when she was younger :)
The poorly cast monitoring spells, the obvious tails on the Weasleys, and all of the rest of it is making me nervous. Lady Tenabra is MUCH too deliberate and cunning to be so sloppy. Either she's putting a lot of faith in some completely inept followers (possible), or this is on purpose to use as a distraction while some other stuff is going down.
Either way, I'm very nervous that she's going to get some information out of Percy. He's just not as careful as the rest of them - and he's a bit gullible as well.
This is the first story I've read that has a scene at Beauxbatons and I LOVED your description of the school. It was perfect and seemed so fitting based on what we know in the books - and what I know from visiting France.
It seems like in each chapter you're able to take what we know from canon about magic and make it grow and expand in ways I never even dreamed of. The idea of expanding upon a hint of a memory from when you were very young and being able to see it in a pensieve is nothing short of brilliant. And you got me TWICE in the gut this chapter with the Harry feels - first in the beginning section where he recounts his childhood to Esme and then here, where he gets to revisit a memory in a way he never thought he would. It totally reminded me of the scene where Hagrid gave him the album of his parents. You definitely captured that moment so well! The crew seemed so innocent and young and alive it was beautiful and painful and heartwarming all at once.
I also love the concept of becoming a legilimens to make up for hearing loss - that makes SO much sense!
And I may be missing something, but I'm not exactly certain why Esme is angry about visiting Katerina's father - does she not like the word "squib" either, or is she upset that she has a possible barrier to getting the information she needs?
I think I caught a few typos. I'm not exactly sure if this first one is a typo or not, but it felt like a word was missing at the end.
That realization drove home another, equally painful.
On my first read through, it just sounded off to me, and then when I went back through and read it a few more times, I could see what you were trying to say - but perhaps the word "stab" or "wave" would make it sound more polished? I can see that you're referring to another "bludger" that was mentioned earlier, but because the bludgers were described at the beginning of the the paragraph preceding this sentence, it felt like something was missing here.
And these last three, I think are also typos...
Test score do not tell the whole story, Miss Osinalde,
-scores
Professor Turgeon, I understand that you have an duty of confidentiality to your students,
-should be "a duty" instead of "an duty"
With a final smile, she turned away and began to hobble towards her office. Harry watched her for a few moments, the followed Esme out the door.
-I think it should be "then followed"
I loved this chapter because I feel a little more connected to Harry and I feel like he's moving along toward solving the mystery. I can't wait to see what's next!
♥ Beth
Okay, so now I'm just in a fit of laughter. When you replied to this review at the 'other' place, you accidentally included a phone number and it really confused me. I feel like transferring these reviews is like a walk down memory lane. Here you go!
Hey there Dan,
Look at this! I'm working hard on my being a better reviewer/responder/HPFFer, etc...
I don't recall if I've mentioned this before or not, but I really like the fact that you separate your paragraphs with a few spaces (I think it might be 3?) It makes it much easier to read the story and it's aesthetically pleasing as well. I like it so much, I'm considering going back through my stories and doing the same (imitation is the highest form of flattery, perhaps?).
Back to Harry and Esme. So, I'm going to give her a bit more of a chance like you said and I do see the similarities between her and Ginny. The one difference I noticed is that Ginny always seemed so down to earth. She didn't need fancy stuff and definitely didn't make a fuss about silly, girly things. I think that may have been my favorite quality of hers and I always thought that was one of the things Harry loved about her. I definitely miss it in Esme, but as I said, I'm going to give it some time. :)
I will say, she is an absolutely brilliant witch in her own right. The fact that she could untangle the memories when even Hermione didn't have the slightest clue how to do it definitely gives her a few stars in my book. And I really loved the way you described the "unraveling" memory. It totally made sense, plus it added a little bit of drama to the story - I can feel the pressure that the group is working under when they only have a few chances to view the memory.
So the memory revealed what I had expected. Percy had nothing to do with Stoops's murder - it was all Tenabra. And while I'm quite certain it will be revealed that she is the "missing" French Auror with the memory-modification skills, I'm also quite certain that you have a few tricks up your sleeve along our path to get there.
Professor Rory Tennant. Could this name be an homage to Dr. Who? I wasn't aware you were a fan and maybe it's just a coincidence with the name. Nonetheless, I can see why this dude isn't an Auror anymore.
Rory Tennant didn’t know it, but he had just set an upper limit on his own life expectancy. Once he was gone, she turned and disapparated.
This guy is a loser. Even I saw that coming.
Great job with the last scene. You have the right balance of humor, action and suspense. What I really, really loved about it was that they were successful with their overall plan. I always found it frustrating (and a little tiresome bordering on predictable) when every single one of the Golden Trio's plans would go awry at the last minute. It's nice to see they've gained some finesse and confidence with age.
Brilliant of Ron to get the wand - and he basically did that automatically and on the fly. There was no way he wasn't going to impersonate Rigel and seize the opportunity. I appreciate that you haven't made Ron into the oaf that many people do, putting him off as unable to react unless Harry and Hermione are directing him. I see him the same way - a brilliant Auror in his own right - often overshadowed, even if it isn't warranted.
Hmmm... is Cornfoot just a secondary character put in there to fill the time - or do you have something up your sleeve? I never know with you.
And haha - who doesn't get by with a little help from their friends? Susan Bones is another brilliant Auror. I like her better and better every time she makes an appearance. I can feel the camaraderie with this department. They know each other in a way that only working really closely for many years can come about. Clearly, this group has had to put their lives into one another's hands on many occasions. They've been through everything together and they always have each other's backs. Love it.
♥ Beth
Dan. OMG - I was just thinking about this review the other day... remember when I asked if you were Dan Brown. I'm giggling as I type this haha. Here you go!
Hi there Dan,
It's been too long, I know. I'm really sorry and I'm trying to make up for it.
So, I'm reading The Lost Symbol by Dan Brown right now (I realize the book came out several years ago), but I'm a huge Dan Brown fan and I never got around to reading that one. Only two chapters in and I realized the similarities in your writing styles. You both have such an eye for setting the scene and giving little details that seem like they might be insignificant, but will add up to something big later on. And the most stunning similarity is to have so many different characters with seemingly unaligned story lines - but they come together at different points and the story has an undertone to it. The reader can feel the story building, building to something that's going to be a fantastic reveal. Eeep!
So I wanted to ask you if you are also a Dan Brown fan, and if so, has he influenced your writing. Then I had an epiphany...
Are you Dan Brown?
I'm serious. You have the same first name - and there's no way Dan Brown (erm.. you) could write fanfiction using his famous moniker. Your ability to challenge the reader and keep us riveted, begging for the next chapter and just trying our darndest to figure out the mystery before it's revealed, is uncanny.
Okay, so if you are indeed Dan Brown, I understand you can't just spell it out in a review response, so you can just leave me a hint or a clue or... a symbol so I can know the truth.
:)
Alright, let's get down to reviewing this chapter!
Esme - I gotta say, I'm not a fan. She seems incredibly insensitive and self-absorbed (I smell a little Fleur). Not to mention, she's holding something like a 40 year old grudge against Harry. I admit, I don't know exactly what he did, but I'm gonna make an educated guess that it was probably something he did out of cluelessness rather than intentionally offending her. However, she does seem to be a decent Auror, so I can't fault her completely.
I loved this chapter because it reminded me so much of key points that happened in the books. The scene with Harry trying to convince Hermione reminded me of 6th year when Harry knew Draco was a marked Death Eater and everyone (including Hermione), told him he was daft.
Then the speech made my the Minister with its double meaning was a reminder of Umbridge's speech at the beginning of 5th year for the trio. However, more people took notice this time. Seriously? Forgiveness for crimes if you come forward?! Even Percy saw through that. (And I was pleasantly surprised to see that he seems a bit more together this chapter.)
Then there's the lovely Arabela. Of course it was her plan all along to have Percy challenge the Minister. Hmmm... I wonder how this is going to play out. Probably exactly the way she wants it to unless somebody stops her! And I have to give her props. She is good - admitting to things so that Percy won't suspect her, but then twisting it around to gain his trust even more. Women.
Gah! Such a sweet patronus from Molly. Ever the mother ♥.
I'm glad Susan had the wherewithal to give a proverbial smack over the head to Al, Hugo and Teddy. Seriously? Those three should know better. You just about stabbed me in the heart with that last line about Harry blaming himself. Eeek!
I *think* I found a small typo in this line:
Those that are found to be in conflict with out great traditions, or that were passed in haste, will be suspended while they are referred to the full Wizengamot for consideration of repeal.
Did you mean "with our great traditions, instead of out?
And I can't leave without saying how much I adore your bits of comic relief. The joke about the knickers and the wheelchair, Ron making his comment about the custom Bentleys, and Teddy taking the mickey out on Al was awesome and this chapter definitely needed that balance. Awesome job, as always, Dan!
♥ Beth
P.S. Remember: give me a symbol...
Hiya again! I've got a few more reviews from HPFF that I need to send to you. Here's the next one!
Hey there, Dan! I’m attempting to make up for my apparent absence from this story. I’m so, so sorry! But I LOVED this chapter. It took me forever to read through it - and then I realized why. Nine thousand words is a lot - even for you. However, I think it was totally worth it - there wasn’t anything that you could cut out. I feel like so much happened here and, at the same time, you laid out some details that are important to the mystery.
I love the way you describe the magic of the castle. It is spot on with what J.K. depicts with the special enchantments - and how Hogwarts has so much magic within it - that the powers and the depth of the spells exceed the abilities of any one wizard.
Hmmm… Professor Astor - a secondary character that is briefly mentioned and comes back in the end or… someone truly trustworthy?
If he was being completely honest with himself, she had more than a few legitimate reasons to be angry with him.
What happened?
I’m not sure what to think of Esme. On one hand, she might be the kick in the pants that Harry needs right now. He’s still in a really dark place. On the other hand - she seems to enjoy instigating - and she seems to be a bit stubborn in her own right. She’s carrying around a forty-five year old grudge.
Esme seems visibly upset about Ginny’s death. Could it be an act? She is an auror in a nearby country - and Harry Potter’s wife is murdered and he is put on trial… Is she hiding what she knows? Either way, she seems to be an extremely competent Auror. She is smart and quick.
Great job describing the memory forgery. I’m picturing the wizarding version of photoshop :)
About six years ago, she resigned and simply vanished.
… and then came to work as the British Minister of Magic’s secretary???
Octavia sounds like a real piece of work. I love her. She reminds me of her mother… And she seems to be extraordinarily gifted. Haha - Scorpius can’t remember if Arithmetic and Arithmancy are the same - and he knows his daughter is smart enough to tell if he’s faking it. I’m loving the interactions of these two. Much of his parenting seems to be done on the fly - but I guess that’s best when dealing with a clever daughter!
Ah! So Lady Tenabra’s name is known amongst the pure bloods? Do the Aurors know yet - who the leader is?
And I almost feel sorry for the way you turn Daphne into a clown. Almost.
I can see the point of Rose and Scorpius not wanting to hide Octavia away - especially when the other Weasleys are not in hiding. BUT - things are much more dangerous for Draco and Astoria in Britain. Staying out of things might become a bit tricky for the Malfoys.
Poor Hermione. She’s worked so hard to build a career and a reputation and to have it crushed to smithereens while she fought to protect others is downright adding insult to injury. Of course she takes her solace in research and books.
Great job with your minstrel poem! Like everything you’ve done with this story - it is clever and rich in text.
And I love the scene from Ron’s POV. It was brilliantly characterized. I giggled throughout this entire scene. And while I couldn’t entirely disagree with Ron, I was greatly amused at the same time.
Romantic mishap - haha. I wonder if we’ll ever get to know what really happened :) And I’m tearing up over the tender Ron and Hermione moment.
And - of course Harry is bungling things up again. I can’t exactly fault Esme for being irritated at this one. You would expect someone with his credentials to be less clueless at the age of sixty-five!
Hermys is awesome. And so loyal to Harry.
Holy cow. I did not see this coming. I guess I really should have - based on the document that Lady Tenabra forged in the last chapter, but I didn’t think things would move so quickly. Yikes - this sounds so eerily familiar - the ministry disregarding laws so that they can “keep the peace,” the muggle-borns being threatened and everyone afraid to speak out for fear of unknown retribution. This is not going to be solved quickly.
I really thought Harry was telling Hermys to get the invisibility cloak - and I couldn’t remember if it was at Hogwarts with one of his grandkids - didn’t Harry ask Arthur if he could borrow it?
Anyway, THIS WAS SO MUCH BETTER! Holy cow. The things you come up with! It was clever and funny and really, really effective. I mean, those guys didn’t know what hit them. And just when I thought it was over, you send ANOTHER insane booby trap at them. The “snotty bats” felt a little like an homage to Ginny. I wonder if she had some say in the house’s protections or if Harry added them after her death, as a way to remember what an amazingly powerful witch she was.
Ah! So I guess Esme is with them now. It seems a bit odd - I’m so used to the trio being one unit. I felt like Harry was being a bit dramatic at first - but then I realized, he’s the only one who is reading the situation for as dire as it is.
Time to call in The Order.
♥ Beth
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