Name: Crimson Quill (Signed) · Date: 04 Mar 2020 09:07 PM · For: Mutually Exclusive

Hey Ashley!

 

here for our swap :)

 

I don't think that I'm up to date with the companion piece to this but I am familar though (I must catch up!). I love your Marlene so much! I'm really obsessed with your characterisation for her. She is so much fun and so sassy but she is really anxious and vunrable at the same time. I love the dialogue between Sirius and Marlene. "I'll alert the Daily Prophet." this line had me cackling! you've done such a good job at developing rapport between Sirius and her. We're kinda silly together but they have a rather brother/sister charm to that friendship like they annoy each other but that's kinda their thing.  "Optimism isn't a good look on you." another fantastic quip from queen marlene! :P

 

I think in the beginning I'm feeling quite sorry for her because she is still obviously struggling with everything. I think she feels bad because Sirius and her were in it together. Sirius has his happiness now but she still stuck right where she was. I think that must be difficult. I think you've portrayed that angle really well.  I can get her not wanting to tell Emmeline and why.

 

I love how Sirius is the one who is there to push on her a wee bit. I thought the whole interaction with Emmeline was so sweet. Marlene is such an awkward dork during her confession but it was so well played. It was cute but I thought you did such a good job with describing that anxiety that she was feeling so she is talking. I love the little babbling romantic speech about what she loves about Emmeline. The reveal is so good, Emmeline is obviously into queen marlene and i couldn't be more glad. I thought this was a lovely piece to bring around a well rounded end to the longer story. Marlene is a gem. I wish only good things for them both.  great job on this story :)

 

Abbi xx 

 

Name: poppunkpadfoot (Signed) · Date: 04 Mar 2020 08:27 PM · For: Mutually Exclusive

ASHLEY!!!! YESSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!

 

I honestly am not sure I have anything to say besides "YESSSSSSS" a bunch of times, but lemme try.

 

Okay, so I love the way you've characterized Marlene here, and I can absolutely see her and Sirius being good friends. I love that we get a little more insight into her thought process here too. I was glad that she "broke things off" with Sirius at the end of Mutually Beneficial, because it meant we got that very wonderful & soft Wolfstar ending to that fic! But it did leave me wondering a bit about why Marlene abruptly called it quits on the ruse that she had initiated in the first place, and I was pretty pumped to get some insight on that here; I feel like it really puts a bow on Mutually Beneficial. (I also love that even in doing that, Marlene thought Sirius would say something to Peter before he'd say something to Remus - apparently his capacity for emotional bravery was deeper than either of them realized!)

 

The background about Marlene's mother is so valuable, that that's the "voice" holding her back from being honest with her friends. Because your Marlene comes off as quite a confident person, so having that knowledge adds depth to her and goes a long way to explaining exactly why this whole situation is going down the way it is.

 

Ahhhh, I LOVE Sirius here! He was such a nervous wreck in Mutually Beneficial (which, for the record, I thought you portrayed really well, I thought it was so effective and it set off all of the little bells in my brain that go "there's my Sirius", which is a sentence that doesn't make very much sense at all but I hope you know what I mean) but he was just delightful in this. I love that he and Marlene have fallen into this friendship - and now here he is, meddling and trying to get her to talk to Emmeline, just like she (sort of) forced him to talk to Remus :P It's adorable that he cares about her happiness to and isn't just like "well she can do what she likes, I got mine!". "You didn't let me get away with bullshit excuses so you don't get to use them either" was such a good line of dialogue from him, and I also loved that he gave her a little kiss on the head hahaha. 

 

Also, I truly loved this: She shook her head. "I don't think I like you in a relationship," she said. "Optimism isn't a good look on you." He turned back and winked at her before heading out of the Great Hall.

 

AHHHHHHH, the whole ending to this is so SO good! It's so obvious so quickly that Emmeline and Marlene are just brilliant together, with the way that Emmeline is able to calm Marlene as she works herself up. They really seem to balance each other out, which is a reason why I love Wolfstar, so that worked really well for me! I loved the line about Marlene's determination pushing away her mother's voice, and I loved how she told Emmeline that she likes her in the third person instead of second. The whole scene was just so endearing, and I liked that approach because it also gave us an opportunity to see Emmeline through Marlene's eyes and get a glimpse at why she likes her so much (which is something we wouldn't really have had otherwise). And I can totally see why Marlene likes Emmeline so much, for the record, because she sounds like (and comes across as) the sweetest person ever, so there you go.

 

And then!! Emmeline kisses her!! And its so cute and warm and fluffy and I was fully squealing at my laptop! Aaaah I am just so happy right now, this is the perfect conclusion to the story that you set up in Mutually Beneficial and I am just over the moon!

 

In conclusion: I LOVE THIS, AND HET SIRIUS WAS 110% WORTH IT!

 

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3

 

-Kayla