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Hi, back for another galazy review!
It's no surprise that James and Sirius share a room even when the Potter house must have plenty of spare space as those two are inseparable! Love the description and characterisation of James and Anne's parents and how generous they must be to take on Sirius as an extra son. Had to laugh at James wanting to charm an apple to act as a snitch rather than go and find the practice snitch, and then the journey on the train back to school. I share Anne's revulsion for screaming fangirls, but perhaps it might have been a better alternative to a melodramatic Sirius. Although that's a great line that Anne got in there, with reference to the only person that Sirius loves being himself LOL. Maybe a bit harsh of her considering he's probably going through some personal trauma right now?
But what's life without a little drama, hey? Great story so far!!
Meera <3
Hi, here for a galaxy review! Love me a bit of Sirius/OC shenanigans, so excited to start reading this story!
Anne Potter - guessing her brother must be James, which is confirmed by the fact that he's Sirius's best mate - and she's good friends with Lily. Severus must have hurt her pretty badly with those awful derogatory words, and Sirius showing so much concern for Lily is probably in itself very concerning. Had to laugh at the Gryffindor password of 'halitosis' haha! And also at the fact that the Fat Lady made Anne justify the reason for admission into the Gryffidor common room.
Aww, Sirius turning himself into a dog and going to comfort Lily <3 Even though dogs aren't permitted at Hogwarts (WHY NOT BC DOGS ARE GREAT!!), and then running off because someone suggested tying bows in his hair, haha!!
But it seems as though Anne knows his secret - did James tell her or did she work it out for herself - and Sirius is obviously taken aback, haha! But that was nice of him not to wake James and help Anne take the Invisibility Cloak to get back to her dorm. Ah - she had worked it out from James letting his Animagus transformation accidentally slip (and knocking over a bird-feeder lol).
Love the dynamic between Anne and James, and Anne and Sirius so far, and looking forward to seeing how you bring these two together!
Meera <3
Author's Response:Hi, Meera!
Good news: there are going to be thirteen chapters in this fic. Bad news: work on them is going... well, glacial might be a little too fast. But I do think you'll enjoy the ones that are here!
I decided to make the password something funny because why not? These children need some light in their lives, and halitosis is just a fun word to say. Sirius being that concerned is definitely concerning. I love him, but he doesn't seem like someone who would be very demonstrative of their feelings. He kind of bottles things up, you know? And the fact that he actually went to Lily is both really sweet and a bit worrying. He went to her because she was someone who he could trust to handle the situation well, and it works.
When I started writing this, I knew that Sirius was going to end up in Padfoot-form somehow. I just had to justify it. Dogs are too distracting, I guess? I don't know, but they really should be allowed. Just look at how well-behaved this one is!
Anne found out because James was being stupid. Also, the incident with a deer knocking over a bird-feeder was inspired by something that happened in my backyard. That was a doe, though, and the incident with Anne was James being stupid. He might be great at Transfiguration, but he is definitely not stealthy, especially in deer form. I feel like they're not as sneaky as they think they are, especially when one of them lives with a twin sister who can figure it out somewhat quickly. That being said, it did take her a few years, but I don't think she even suspected/cared until her bird-feeder got knocked over.
If you're interested in more stuff that didn't make the cut, I have a fic of deleted scenes, and most of them are from this fic!
Thanks for stopping by, and I hope you have a lovely day!
-A
Hi,
I'm here for our swap :)
I really like the characterization of your oc, Anne. I thought she comes across so clearly like she has such a lovely mixture of charm and cheek. I love her explaining to the fat lady then why she had come to the common room. She comes across as a very good friend to Lily which I thought was super endearing to her character. James has ideas about why Anne shouldn't be there which tells us a bit more about Anne's character too while making it seem very natural. she's a ravenclaw and prefect which doesn't seem very 'potter-ish' but she's obviously a stubborn firecracker. that's a family trait.
I really liked Anne and Sirius here, there was something really interesting about their dynamic. I thought the bit when she reveals that she knew about sirius' dog form was an important moment because it felt like she was really seeing him somehow you know? she recognized his eyes. there was something very nice about that. very personal. I found her re-telling of James' knocking over the birdbath in stag form! I love that Anne and Sirus really enjoy teasing James together. they obviously have a little spark there and I love this prank rivalry.
I thought you did a good job with the dialogue in particular here. you used it to great effect to build up the relationships within the story. everyone has a clear voice and some good humour moments in here. I liked the little details like 'the lily evans support group' and some of the side character while didn't have lots to do but I loved learning a little more about them. I love the title of this piece too, 'sirius trouble' but I love a pun :P
I like the format that you're using your story to tell their story, it's so good because it's not limiting, just little snapshots of moments between Anne and Sirius is very sweet. I thought this was a lovely opening into their world <3
Abbi xx
This chapter is coming in strong with the chapter title, and also Anne and Sirius' banter over the chocolates. They have a seriously cute vibe here.
Peter's 'I have to go wash my cat' made me laugh aloud. I can't decide if it's a funnier lie if he actually does or doesn't own one.
Poor Remus. I mean, I guess poor Snape, but it's very hard for me to conjure any sympathy for him, even in this circumstance. I love the way Victoria handles this so much - I'm so glad to read that 'to be continued...' at the bottom, because I really have to see more of this unfold.
Author's Response:Thank you for reviewing!
This chapter (a rarity for me, I know) had its title before it had its first word written. I knew that I wanted to cover the bit right after the whole Snape incident, even if it does mean that the trajectory of this one-shot collection has gone... in a different direction than I expected. I hope you enjoyed the cuteness in this chapter because the next one is going to be very dark. I apologize immensive for this now because I have no idea when it's going to get published. It currently has chunks of it written, but I have a few challenge entries I need to do before I can focus on anything else.
Peter does not own a cat, which Anne forgot until later. I don't think he has a pet? I imagine that James has an owl, Remus doesn't have a pet, and I don't think Sirius has one either. He might have an owl, but I'm not sure. Anne has a cat named Berry, who lives long enough to become spoiled by Iris in her old age. I haven't thought much about the Marauders' pets, but the only one I am absolutely sure has a pet is James. It's an owl of some sort, and it probably has a very dorky name.
So, Anne has mixed feelings in this chapter because, on the one hand, she doesn't like Severus because of what he did to Lily. On the other hand, she takes nursing very seriously and does not let her personal feelings dictate her nursing. She is very good at staying professional, and this will probably get her in trouble with certain people in the future. Sirius is very much unable to take his feelings out of things (case in point: OOTP), so it's really interesting to have them interact, especially when it's something that Sirius cares very much about. Anne cares as well, but she is very much not a fighter, unlike James and Sirius.
Good news! There will be thirteen total one-shots in this collection! So, uh, they are (somewhat) being paced with the Iris series I have because, uh, Iris has a connection to Anne. I don't know if you've read that series, but you might like it? Basically, there is one one-shot in this collection that won't be out until I've published a specific chapter in the third one of those because it's referenced, but not exactly in a truthful way. This collection is supposed to cover Anne and Sirius' romantic relationship, and the last one-shot will be set on October 29, 1981. I don't have much of a plan to write about Anne other than this one-shot collection, but I'm not going to promise that she won't show up in anything else. If you want to know what happens to her after this one-shot collection, feel free to message me on Discord/FFN forums. Fair warning, there will be really, really big spoilers for the Iris series if you do that.
Thanks again for reviewing, and I hope you have a wonderful day!
-A
I absolutely love the detail that Sirius never talks about his family at all. It's such a brilliant little piece of characterisation.
Your James and Sirius are so delightfully teeenage, and they feel so authentic. I'm sure it would be totally exhausting to deal with them in real life, but within the confines of fiction, they're so much fun! Snape, on the other hand, is really quite odious, and I love this take on him.
I'm petitioning you to please write more about the Flaming Newts. Wizarding 70s boybands is a niche I'm desparate to see more of.
Author's Response:Thanks for reviewing!
I wanted to hint at Sirius'... shall we say, difficult relationship with his family. Originally, she was going to bump into Regulus without realizing who he was, but, at this point, they had been at the same school for four (almost five) years. She definitely has seen Regulus, and, in my opinion, Regulus looks very much like Sirius, so it wouldn't be too hard for someone to connect the dots. That being said, if Regulus shows up, I have no clue how I'm going to write him. I have some ideas for him being involved later on, but I'm not quite sure how he'll fit in. This would be a good time to mention, though, that this is going to go all the way up to October 29th, 1981, so, uh, make any assumptions about that you want.
I always worry when I'm writing Snape. This Snape worried me more because I haven't written a lot of Marauders-era stuff. This might be apparent, but I mostly stick to Trio-era. Funnily enough, I have a story that I'm working on that's set while Riddle is at Hogwarts, but that wasn't started until right after this one. I find it a bit difficult to write something set in a period where we know next to nothing about it, especially when it's during the First Wizarding War. I haven't mentioned much about the war yet, mostly because I'm trying to figure out how it all happened in this little world. There's a lot of contradicting information we have, and I'm still sorting through all of it to find what I want to include.
Again, if you want to write about the Flaming Newts, be my guest. I made them up for that sentence, and all I know is they're like a wizarding version of the Monkees or the Beatles. More so the Monkees, as I watched a lot of Big Time Rush as a kid. I do not know enough about the seventies or boybands or boybands in the seventies (were there boybands in seventies Britain?) to write anything that would be very good. I am also desperate to see more of that particular niche, but I am barely comfortable writing something set at Hogwarts in the seventies, let alone anything a bit more detailed in the seventies.
Thank you again for reviewing, and I hope you have a lovely day!
-A
I really enjoyed this chapter. I like Anne a lot as a character, and love seeing her interaction with all the canon gang - particularly sirius, for obvious reasons. There's such good chemistry there! She also has great sibling energy with James.
I also love that she calls a meeting of The Lily Evans Support Group. Somehow, that's even more heartwarming to me than breaking into Gryffindor tower.
Author's Response:Thank you for reviewing!
So, I just kind of love the chemistry between Sirius and Anne. I was trying for someone who's not necessarily the stereotypcial Ravenclaw, and I think Anne works perfectly for that. I worry about writing Peter because we never see him as, you know, a not-traitor in canon, so I admit that he doesn't show up much in this because of that. Of the Marauders, I'm most comfortable writing Remus and Sirius, as this collection of one-shots might show, but I had never actually written James until I wrote this. I had to guesstimate on a close (both emotionally and age-wise) sibiling relationship, and I am so glad that you liked it!
I feel really bad because everyone loves the Lily Evans Support Group, but, alas, it's not showing up in this. I'm really sorry! All of you have my blanket permission to write the Lily Evans Support Group because I have absolutely no ideas for it. That's why it wasn't in this chapter. It was supposed to be, but I figured it'd be better to end the one-shot on her and Sirius because the whole point of this collection is to show their relationship. That being said, Lily and Anne have a lovely friendship, and Anne is very happy when she gets a sister-in-law.
Thanks again for reviewing, and I hope you have a lovely day!
-A
Hey there! Here for BvB and because you were able to get your fic linked to me in the Claw chat. ;)
The first sentence pulls me in straight away: Anne Potter (a possible relation to James?), sixteen (ahhh, the misadventures of youth), sneaking into Gryffindor Tower (oh, so she's not a Gryffie, okay okay), and for the first time (she's a repeat offender? OH DO GO ON!)
Wowzers! And then so much happens in this chapter! I love how the story picks up right after Snape's worst memories and you have this constant back and forth between Anne and Sirius. Their chemistry was fun to read and I'm so intrigued to see how you develop their relationship.
I'm really excited that they're doing Girls' Day to support Lily--I love reading about female friendship, so I'm curious to see if this series of linked one shots will ever feature the girls in the prime of their friendships with one another!
But also... I love the dynamic between James and Anne. Very sibling-like, ahahaha. And I like how she interacts with the rest of the Marauders, too. She's not exactly the annoying sister, but she somewhat goes along with their mischief and calls them out for their shit. Atta girl! Anne in general is a great character- and SUCH a Ravenclaw! I love how she logics her away in and out of trouble--her showdown with the portrait of the Fat Lady was AWESOME!
And that ending! Anne is definitely a Ravenclaw. And the better prankster (but don't tell James, lol). I'm looking forward to see how Sirius gets his revenge--and how his flirtation with her will escalate. ;)
Author's Response:Thank you for reviewing!
Anne is... Well, she tries to be the good twin (which, honestly, isn't all that hard when your competition is James Potter), but Potters are prone to ending up in places they aren't supposed to be, as Anne shows in this chapter. That being said, she doesn't usually mean to go into Gryffindor Tower, seeing as she's a Ravenclaw and prefers to stay out of where her brother lives, but desperate times call for desperate measures.
This was probably the first time I've written a teenaged Sirius, and I was really happy with how he turned out. He has a very sharp wit, and I think that's one of the things that Anne likes about him, along with other, gushier things that will come to light in this fic. Their conversations are more similar to how debates will go back and forth, and, if you've read Notes, then you'll know that, as a Ravenclaw, Anne has quite a bit of practice with debates. Sirius... has an interesting view of Anne at this point, and he's still, after nearly six years of knowing her, trying to make up his mind about her.
I want to apologize now because this is a series of one-shots about Anne and Sirius' relationship. As such, the girls' friendship will never be the focus of a chapter/one-shot, but it will occasionally be a large part of one. These are more snippets in their lives rather than a traditional story, so, alas, we won't get to see the girls' day. That being said, it was lovely and exactly what Lily needed.
I was so worried about writing James and Anne's relationship because I don't have any brothers and I'm not super close in age to my siblings. I'm glad you like it! Of the Marauders, Anne gets long with Remus best, followed by her brother. While Anne is, technically, the younger sister, she tries to come off as more responsible as James. Sometimes, she needs to let her hair down, and her brother and his friends are very good at causing that to happen. She is very much a Ravenclaw, and I think it's best shown in this chapter, especially with the Fat Lady and Sirius.
Sirius is very mercurial, and I imagine that he pranked Ravenclaw as a house rather than just Anne. I'm not sure exactly what he did, but it was definitely something that was a bit more creative than the Marauders' usual pranks. James, of course, does not approve, but that's what Peter's for.
Thank you so much for reviewing, and I'm glad you enjoyed it! I hope you have a lovely day!
-A
Hello! Hope you're doing well. I got sent here for Blue v. Bronze, and I'm so glad I was! This fic is amazing! Anne seems like a really likable character, from what we've seen of her so far. I love how you write her relationship with James - it feels so realistic and seamless. Also, your diction is so concise but also so descriptive.
I adore the way you've set up the relationship between Sirius and Anne. Not only are they familiar enough with each other to participate in teasing, but Anne also feels comfortable pointing out that Sirius should have told James his reason for moving in with them. I love when couples (or to-be-couples) are honest enough with each other to keep each other in line.
This was really good! I can't wait to see what comes next!
<3 Raspberry
Author's Response:Thank you for reviewing, Raspberry!
Anne is probably the most innocent of the main characters that I've written for HP fic, other than, maybe, Irma. She isn't necessarily naive, but she's not as... dark as Arachne. I had a lot of fun thinking about how a twin for James would be, and I decided not to make her a carbon copy of James, also because I wouldn't have nearly as much fun with that. She and James are similar, but Anne is a bit more understated.
I like the Sirius/Anne relationship (well, for now, friendship) because it's not just someone who lets Sirius have the upper hand. Anne is a bit more calm than her brother, but she knows when to prod at Sirius, like in this. Sirius, at least, in my mind, needs someone who can challenge him, who can point out when he's doing something wrong, but also will be supportive. I know that there hasn't been much of Anne being supportive, but, to be fair, there are eleven more one-shots in this collection to see how their relationship will change over time.
Thank you so much for reading, and I hope you have a lovely day!
-A
Hey there!
I’m here to drop off a review for the CDMC event - Round 2!
I love that Anne sneaks into the Gryffindor tower the first time to comfort Lily. It’s very brave of her and loyal.
I’m pleased that Sirius was the one who gave her the password. It makes me feel a little bit better about her going into Gryffindor and clearly it makes the fat lady feel better too.
Ooh I didn’t realize Anne was James’ sister. Well, they do seem to have stubbornness in common, although Anne seems to be the smarter of the two. I can’t believe James ran to the window.
I’m glad that Anne went to comfort Lily. It seems like she really needs a friend right now. I am kind of wondering how she plans to get back though.
Oh! Yes, good call. She sneaks into the boys’ dorm to steal the invisibility cloak from her brother.
I absolutely love that Anne figured out that the boys were Animagi. I always found it hard to believe that no one ever noticed them changing back and forth from human to animal. I think it’s hilarious that she noticed him knocking over the bird feeder in the backyard.
And since she knows James is an animagus it makes it all the easier for her to figure out that Sirius was too!
I absolutely busted up laughing at the prank she pulled with the cloak. She’s definitely a Ravenclaw.
This was a great first chapter. I look forward to reading more.
~Kaitlin
Author's Response:Thank you for reviewing, Kaitlin!
Anne was fun to think about because I wanted to give Iris some traits from both of her parents. I definitely think that Anne is the more book-smart of the twins, but James is quite clever. That being said, he is not clever enough to hide the fact that he is an Animagus from his sister. Fun fact: James knocking over the bird feeder was inspired by the deer in my suburb eating out of our bird feeder. They bonk it to knock the birdseed out or they very carefully lick the bird feeder. You can figure out which one James is more like.
I love the Marauders, but they were not subtle. There is no way that no one else in the school knew that they were Animagi. I always saw Peter as being the sneakiest for transformations and James as the least. Sirius is probably smart enough to not have witnesses around usually, but he is a teenager.
I almost had James' dialogue with the Stink Pellets actually punctuated with a fart sound every word, but it took up a lot of space. Anne definitely had her work cut out for her with that prank, and I imagine that the Ravenclaws better watch out for retaliation.
Thanks again for reviewing, and I hope you have a lovely day!
-A
Hi Robin! I’m here for CMDC Round 2 :D
How exciting to go back and see how Iris’s parents got together! I really liked the smooth way that you worked all the elements of the challenge into this story. They all seemed to fit very naturally. I think my favorite one was when Anne pretended to see snow out the window—and her brother James fell for it.
Anne is quick and smart, and while she seems to be much more responsible than James, she’s able to prank as well as he or any of the other Marauders. I also appreciate how she has friends in other houses, and is willing to buck the rules to be there for her friends. And Sirius seems to sense some of these special qualities, because he is the one who gives her the Gryffindor password so that she can comfort Lily during Lily’s hour of need.
It was wonderful when Anne realized that Sirius was the dog who had snuck into the girl’s dorm room. And I wonder if that is the moment when Sirius’s interest was piqued—because she’s so quick. And she proves to be even quicker by both stealing the invisibility cloak, and by pranking the pranksters in their own room.
But it sounds like they deserved it—those punishment riddles from the Knocker sound like they were rough!
I’m really looking forward to the rest of this series :D
Yours,
Noelle
Author's Response:Thank you for reviewing, Noelle!
I didn't finish this until after the challenge had ended. I was stuck, funnily enough, on Anne paying the boys back. I really liked the elements, and I wish that I had managed to finish this early enough to enter the challenge. I also just really love the word defenestration.
I like to think that James was a prankster before he even got to Hogwarts, and that Anne was his victim/combatant. She gives as good as she gets, and, while she is more responsible than James, Remus is the most responsible of this bunch. She has a big heart, and she does, in her own special way, care for her brother's friends. Sirius is probably the only one she doesn't know all that well, but, as we see here, this might be changing.
The moment his interest was piqued was during Anne's escape from Gryffindor Tower. I had a lot of fun thinking about how Sirius would go about liking someone, and it was very interesting. It was also really interesting to think about him as a teenager. This will be a challenge for me to write, but I think it will be very interesting and a good experience.
Thanks again for reviewing, and I hope you have a lovely day!
-A
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