Name: Oregonian (Signed) · Date: 25 Feb 2021 03:37 PM · For: Chapter 1

HI!  I absolutely love this story, potionspartner.  It is so great from beginning to end.  You are telling us stuff about the Hogwarts ghosts that I had never thought of before, but it all makes such good sense.  I am very glad that Friar Benedict brought Helena Ravenclaw with him to church on this night, and I am also glad that the residents of Godric' Hollow don't mind having a ghost or two joins them for the worship services.

 

I like your characters -- Jerahmeel the angel, whom Friar Benedict knows from long years ago, Helena, who is finally ready to forgive the people from her past., poor Father Matthew, who has had the most staggering experience of his priesthood,...

 

Your final conversation between Benedict and Father Matthew is wonderful.  The image of the priest collasping into the pew, flabbergasted by what he has just heard and experienced, is so well written.  You can be very proud of this special story.

 

Vicki

Snow Foxes

Author's Response:

Thank you for the review, Vicki--so glad you enjoyed the story.

Name: TreacleTart (Signed) · Date: 05 Feb 2020 12:37 AM · For: Chapter 1

Hey there!

 

I'm here to drop off a review for my Happier Holidays Challenge! Thank you so much for your entry. In this review, each paragraph will breakdown a different criteria I'm using in the judging process.

 

Portrayal of Holiday Chosen: I really like that you chose to write about Christmas, but that you took on the tradition of a midnight mass. Often, in fanfiction, religion gets left out, so it was really nice to see you explore what it means to the Fat Friar. I thought you did a really nice job of conveying how important faith can be to someone who truly believes.

 

Characterization:  The Fat Friar has always seemed like a kind and friendly person in the books, so I think you carried that over into this story nicely. He's also a Hufflepuff, so we know he's loyal and hardworking which you show in his desire to stay and keep helping the students of Hogwarts. I also thought you did a really great job portraying him as Franciscan. I don't think it's a well known thing, but I actually worked for 5 years in a Franciscan Historical Mission running their catering department, so even though I'm not Catholic myself, I am fairly familiar with St. Francis and the beliefs held by the Franciscan portion of the Catholic church.

 

Pace/Flow: I thought this story moved very smoothly. The pace was perfect and gave me plenty of time to wrap my head around the different things that were happening.

 

Grammar/Typos:  Looks good to me.

 

Plot: I thought the plot was really creative and unique. Like I said previously, it's not often that religion is explored in fanfic and I'm really glad you chose to do so. I also really liked that the Fat Friar was able to help Helena find some peace and regain some faith. This was really nicely written.

 

Good work! Watch out for the results soon.

 

~Kaitlin

Author's Response:

Thank you for the review! I'm not Catholic either so I had to do a bit of research. It was between Franciscan and Dominican. Honestly St. Francis won because his order worked better with the timeline I was imagining. I was also looking at Catholic versus Anglican since the Friar had to be Catholic given when he was alive, but I imagined Godric's Hollow church as Anglican. 

Name: TidalDragon (Signed) · Date: 27 Jan 2020 03:11 PM · For: Chapter 1

Howdy!

 

This was such a unique and interesting story. The first thing I liked about it was how you fused magic and faith. I think so often, people write them as mutually exclusive or simply view the magical world as not believing in God (though there are characters who say 'God' I believe and there is of course the over-arching metaphor in the series). It also makes sense that it would be the Fat Friar who is able to best particpate - or chooses to participate as much as possible - in exercising his faith. It's a unique situation that he's transported from the grounds on these two particular days for services, but certainly something God is capable of.

 

I also found the appearance of Helena Ravenclaw to be powerful. The assessment that she lives with blame - in more than one direction - is certainly true and I'm happy to see that she was able to reconcile those things in the confessional after hundreds of years of carrying those burdens. I am Catholic and I have - on the few (unfortunately) times I've attended - found that there is a certain catharsis (which I choose to believe comes from above) so the fact that she found that and purified her spirit enough to be taken to heaven was something.

 

Thanks for sharing!

Author's Response:

Thank you for the review. I enjoy incorporating faith-based characters into my story. I actually did a bit of research on Catholic versus Anglican since the Friar was preReformation and would have been Catholic England but the church in Godric's Hollow was Anglican (I think there was a vague reference in the movie to that.)  There are actually a lot of references to Christianity and/or faith-based in the Harry Potter series. (Just as there are mentions of magic in the Bible.)

 

Name: Pixileanin (Signed) · Date: 26 Jan 2020 12:18 AM · For: Chapter 1

Aww, the Friar is so excited to be let out this night!  I can feel the excitement brewing inside of him. I had a fun image of him sticking his tongue out even though he couldn’t catch any of the snowflakes.  His faith is amazing, and how he explains it to Helena, I can just feel how he believes so strongly in what he’s saying.  

It makes me happy that you chose Godric’s Hollow for this mass.  It ties into canon so well, and feels to me like a place I know. Ooohh, I didn’t expect anyone to be able to see the Friar, but that makes sense, and I’m glad it’s the priest who acknowledges him.  This is a cool image to imagine! Father Matthew was so cute, trying to make small talk with the spirits. I appreciate that Helena is moved to confession, but oh my, Father Matthew is in for a rocky night.  Poor Friar, making him feel all cold inside instead of comforting. Ooops!

Oh oh oh!  I love that you made this a moment when a ghost can pass on and bringing in the angel was a great way to do that!  It was fun seeing the Friar so familiar with the angel and considering his offer. This is a super cool concept that we don’t often see in the HP world, but surely it must be, because he’s a friar, after all.  I wonder what ‘s in store for him between now and Easter?

Thanks for writing this. It made me think.

 

Pix

Author's Response:

I'm glad you enjoyed and it make you think. You're right. There's nothing that say magic and faith can't be intertwined and there a lot of references in Harry Potter to faith they are just subtle (like the Friar.)